Cowboy Samurai X Badass Android

by KuroKoneko Kamen

  Chapter 2: It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…?!

  FLASHBACK.

  “Woo wee! It stinks in here.” Jake complained from his seat in a rickety chair that he was rocking back and forth in while chewing on a piece of straw.

  “I don’t think you have any right to complain, Jake.” His sister Bonnie said as she wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. “After all, you’re the one who’s supposed to be mucking out this here stall!”

  Jake pouted. “You know I’m not cut out for physical labor, sis.” Jake yawned widely. “I just want to take a nap…I’m so sleepy…”

  Bonnie let out an exasperated sigh at her useless older brother. “You’re always tired. Maybe you have some kind of disease or something. I bet they have a pill for it.”

  “Ma says I’m just lazy. I don’t think they have a pill for laziness. Though they should make one.” Jake yawned widely again and his eyes began to droop. In just a few seconds he was fast asleep in the tilted chair that was leaning up against the stable wall in a precarious manner.

  Bonnie looked at Jake’s strange sleeping position in disbelief. Her brother was so weird. He could fall asleep just about anywhere. He’s such a lazy bum! Her brother Jake was ten-years-old and she was nine. He was supposed to be the older brother who was responsible and who looked after his little sister but really it was the other way around. Bonnie found herself looking out for Jake all the time instead.

  For example, he was supposed to be mucking out their family’s horse stalls right then, but Jake sucked at physical labor. As soon as he got blisters on his hands he’d end up crying. He was a total crybaby but…her brother was also kind and sweet, so she didn’t really mind helping him out by mucking out the horse stalls for him.

  Afterall, Jake kept all of her secrets. Her greatest secret being that Bonnie Lonestar was a total tomboy. Her mother Jessie Lonestar was under the (false) impression that her daughter Bonnie was an angel - who liked playing with Barbies and baked using her EasyBake oven.

  But the reality was that Bonnie was a tomboy who liked doing all the adventurous things boys her age did - like climbing trees, going swimming in the lake, fishing at the river, horseback riding, and most of all bug collecting.

  Bonnie was extremely proud of her bug collection which she had to keep in her brother’s room. Her brother Jake, on the other hand, wasn’t into anything ‘adventurous’ like that. Jake’s biggest pastime was probably napping. Anytime he had chores to do at the Lonestar Ranch, Jake would sneak off past the cornfields and stare up at the clouds and nap. It was up to Bonnie to go find his lazy ass and bring him back to the ranch to do his chores.

  Though he never did them. Bonnie would always end up doing them for Jake. All Jake wanted to do was stay in his room and read comic books and play video games on his Xbox or his Playstation. It was funny how her brother had a superhero obsession but was such a cowardly boy. With a name like Jake Lonestar one would have thought he had the name of a potential superhero but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  As if to prove Bonnie’s point a mouse had been crawling up Jake’s leg while he was sleeping. Jake slowly blinked his eyes as he began to wake up and had this dopey look on his face as he looked down at the mouse that was sitting on his knee and just staring at him. Jake blinked again and rubbed his eyes and stared down at the mouse that was still there. No, he wasn’t dreaming, which meant-

  The mouse was real.

  “AHHH!” Jake cried out and caused his chair to rock forward in such a way that Jake was thrown forward and into a pile of horse shit that his sister had been piling up with a SPLAT!

  Jake had landed face-first in the pile of horse shit and when Bonnie saw what had happened to her pathetic older brother she burst out laughing. “Ahahaha!”

  Jake pushed himself up out of the horse shit and glared at his sister. “This is not funny.”

  “Oh yes it is!” Bonnie shot back. Yep. Jake Lonestar was a pathetic, lazy, wimpy, coward and no superhero.

  Every geek and comic book enthusiast knows that the beginning of every superhero starts with an unexpected event that turns the hero’s life upside down. If Jake had known that today was going to be that day he would have stayed in bed.

  Bonnie was helping to clean Jake’s face of the horse poop with a towel when all of a sudden an explosion could be heard in the distance and the ground beneath Jake and Bonnie’s feet quaked while the walls of the stable vibrated violently. The horses pawed their stalls nervously and let out little puffs of air in an irritated manner.

  “W-w-what was that?” Jake asked nervously.

  Bonnie’s big brown eyes were already glimmering with interest and excitement. “Let’s go find out!” She exclaimed.

  “Oh no, count me out, there’s no way I’m going to-” Jake was saying when Bonnie grabbed Jake’s wrist and dragged him out of the stables of the Lonestar Ranch. They rushed outside, and brother and sister could see smoke rising in the distance from across the cornfield.

  Then, Jake looked up and saw that something else seemed to have entered the earth’s atmosphere and was heading towards the surface in the form of a gigantic ball of fire. Jake’s eyes grew large as he watched the flaming meteorite hurtling towards the field. This second object looked like it was going to fall even closer to the Lonestar Ranch.

  “A falling star? No…a meteor.” Bonnie nodded to herself.

  “Cool.” Jake murmured to himself, chills going down his cowardly spine.

  KABOOM!

  The second meteor hit the ground and caused another explosion to rock the air. Jake nearly fell over as the ground beneath him shook from the force of the meteor’s impact but Bonnie caught his arm and steadied him. Jake was already trembling from fear but Bonnie was curious about the meteor and so she took Jake’s hand in hers and began to drag him towards the impact site.

  As they got closer they were able to see a gigantic crater that was at least fifty feet wide with a glowing object in the very center of it. Jake hesitated before Bonnie pulled him into the crater causing him to stumble. Brother and sister made their way closer to the mysterious object. The object looked like it was beginning to cool off since steam was rising off its round surface and curling into the air. A sudden gust of wind blew away the steam that had been concealing most of the object from view so that it was suddenly revealed to Jake and Bonnie in its entirety.

  Jake’s eyes widened in shock. “A s-s-spaceship?! An alien spaceship?” Jake gaped, his jaw dropping to the ground as he eyed the object in front of him. It was a sleek, silver disk that was twenty feet wide, and with a slightly raised cockpit in its center. Jake stumbled backwards and landed on his ass as he continued to gape at the spaceship in front of him. He was about to have a panic attack when Bonnie thought of something and began to look around.

  “Wait…they must be filming a movie around here. That must be it. Man, Jake you’re so stupid to think that something like The Day the Earth Stood Still could happen to us!” Bonnie laughed nervously as she looked around the impact site expecting a camera crew and a director to just pop up out of their hiding places at any moment.

  Jake let out a breath of relief at Bonnie’s words. So that’s what was going on. Jake pushed himself up off the ground, dusted himself off.

  “Let’s go take a closer look.” Bonnie suggested as Jake warily followed her even closer to the spaceship.

  These are some really good special effects. Jake thought as he suddenly tripped over a rock and stumbled forward. He put his hands out to stop himself from falling and his hands landed right on the metal surface of the spaceship. He looked up and realized he was touching the alien spaceship and that he had the perfect view of the cockpit which suddenly popped open.

  Jake immediately leapt at his sister Bonnie and buried his face in the crook of her neck. Bonnie stroked Jake’s head in a comforting gesture as she tried to remain strong for the both of them. They waited for a moment and whe
n nothing happened (like aliens eating their brains) they slowing pulled away from each other and took a peek at what was inside of the cockpit.

  Jake was immediately able to see that there was a woman seated in the pilot’s seat. He was surprised to see that she was dressed in what appeared to be a Japanese kimono. The kimono was dark blue and had the pattern of golden stars on it. The woman’s head was bowed so that Jake was unable to see her face. She appeared to be unconscious and her long, blue-black hair was frustratingly blocking most of her face from view but Jake could see that she had an extremely pale complexion.

  Jake frowned, thinking that it was odd to see an alien woman dressed in traditional Japanese clothing and a sudden idea came to him. “Hey, wait a minute, what if that is just a new type of plane that happened to crash land here at the ranch, Bonnie? What if that is just a prototype design or something we don’t know about yet? I mean she looks pretty human to me. She must be Japanese or something.”

  “I dunno…” Bonnie said uncertainly as she chewed on her lower lip.

  The woman’s head remained bowed and Jake moved closer as he tried to catch a glimpse of her face. “She might be a normal human woman who might need our help, Bonnie. She might be hurt or injured.” Jake’s frown deepened as he grew concerned. “H-h-hey!” He called out to her, his voice trembling. “Come on, Bonnie, let’s-” Jake turned to his sister but Bonnie was frozen stiff. If she’s hurt…I have to do something…come on body, move! Jake ignored Bonnie and pulled himself up onto the shiny metal surface of the flying saucer and began to crawl towards the cockpit.

  Bonnie watched what her brother was doing in shock. She never would have expected Jake to act so bravely in this kind of situation where she suddenly found that she couldn’t move or breath.

  In seconds, Jake was directly in front of the cockpit when the woman suddenly looked up at Jake and her hair parted in such a way that Jake was able to get a good look at her face. Jake froze, all the blood draining from his face as he turned as white as a sheet because the woman before him-

  Had no face.

  The surface of the woman’s face was as smooth, white, and round as an egg. She was faceless.

  “AHHHH!” Jake screamed at the top of his lungs as he caught sight of the faceless woman and jerked backwards. The sudden movement caused Jake to fall and he rolled off of the flying saucer to land on the ground on his ass.

  “AHHHH!” Bonnie also screamed at the top of her lungs as she caught sight of the faceless alien woman. That was no foreigner that was the real deal. “Jake! We have to get out of here! Come on! RUN!” Bonnie cried as she took off running for the Lonestar Ranch expecting Jake to follow her.

  “You sawwwww?” The woman moaned, in an eerie ghost-like manner, and raised a draping kimono sleeve towards Jake. The sleeve was so long that it completely covered the woman’s hand and trailed down to the floor of the cockpit.

  “Epp!” Jake squeaked as he looked up at the faceless woman from his place on the ground. I’m so going to die! I’m so going to die! This alien babe is going to eat my brain! Jake thought frantically in his mind. Where’s Bonnie?! Jake looked around for his sister and saw her running back towards the ranch. Jake felt a stab in his gut that his sister had just left him behind like that. Although she probably had expected him to chase after her, right? Which Jake would have been doing if he wasn’t so scared stiff. Come on body move! Move! However-

  “Hold it right there, Nova Inara! You’re under arrest in the name of the Galaxy Police!” Came a confident sounding female voice.

  Jake whipped his head around to look up at the top of the crater where he saw a woman, who had blue skin, long orange hair, pointed ears, blue eyes, and who was wearing a skin-tight, blue, silver, and white bodysuit with futuristic high-heels. The uniform that she was wearing had the letters ‘GXP’ on her chest in large, bold, black letters. The alien woman was wielding a strange looking gun that looked like it was made out of white plastic. It also appeared to be glowing. It looked like a cheap prop for a low-budget sci-fi movie.

  Jake’s jaw hit the ground again and his eyes bulged. “Ehhh? A-a-alien?!” Now I know they must be filming a movie…! Jake noticed the letters on the alien woman’s uniform and remembered what she had just said. “Galaxy Police?” This is crazy. Unreal. It can’t really be happening. I must be having a nightmare. Jake pinched his arm. “Ow!”

  The alien woman’s tight uniform was torn and singed in places. Jake could see blood seeping through her uniform and wondered if she was injured. Jake’s pre-teen eyes couldn’t help but check out her curvy figure. The uniform was so tight that it showed off the alien woman’s impressive figure nicely. She had extremely large breasts, a thin waist and powerful looking thighs. Jake felt that familiar, strange, warm, tingling sensation that he sometime got deep down in his gut when he read the X-Men comics and looked at the voluptuous figures of Gene Gray, Rogue, and Lady Death Strike in their equally skin tight or revealing costumes.

  Nova Inara struggled to get out of her spacecraft. She lifted herself out of the cockpit and began to crawl along the surface of the metal disc towards the edge. Jake shuddered as he watched her creepy, jerky crawling movement. It was something right out of a Japanese horror film. (Jake had watched the lousy American remake version of The Ring recently too and she was reminding him of Sadako).

  She reached the edge of the disc and hopped down to the ground. She landed a bit unsteadily on her feet and swayed from side to side. Jake noticed a strange silvery looking liquid dripping from the inside of her sleeves and wondered if it was her blood. The woman’s faceless visage seemed to flicker and it reminded Jake uneasily of a busted computer screen trying to come back to life.

  As Jake continued to watch her face he saw a stream of glowing green 1s and 0s running across the surface. It appeared as though it was trying to repair itself. She’s a machine? Jake realized. No, she’s an android. She looks damaged. Jake watched as more silvery liquid metal goo dripped down onto the ground in a puddle. He cringed, whatever she was she was hurt. “You’re hurt…” For some unfathomable reason his heart went out to the android woman.

  In a synthesized-sounding voice Nova Inara addressed the Galaxy Police officer. “Hello Stellar.” She nodded once.

  “Hello Nova Inara.” Stellar said once more before raising her blaster and firing it at Nova Inara. Red lazer beams shot through the air in Nova Inara’s direction and Jake realized that whatever the Galaxy Police officer was wielding it was definitely no ordinary gun. The sci-fi sound of lazer beams being fired rang through the air with a series of zschooms! Jake had watched Star Wars enough times to know that this wasn’t good.

  “Look out!” Jake yelled in Nova Inara’s direction.

  Nova Inara lithely jumped out of the way.

  [Stellar Vs. Nova Inara] Fight!

  Nova Inara ran and Stellar pursued her, firing her blaster at the wounded android persistently.

  Jake was sitting on his ass in the crater, trembling and scared out of his mind but…this was the coolest, most exciting thing to have ever happened to him. And it was real. This wasn’t a figment of his imagination, a dream, or daydream. It wasn’t a virtual world from the games he played on his Xbox. This wasn’t TV or some reality show. This was reality.

  He was scared shitless but…adrenaline was pumping through his veins. He wanted to see what happened between the two alien babes as they duked it out. Against Jake’s better judgment he followed the two alien women in order to watch their ensuing fight.

  Nova Inara stopped running and turned to face Stellar who stopped as well and faced off against the faceless android. Again, the android’s appearance seemed to flicker momentarily before Nova Inara lifted her long kimono sleeves in front of her. Her sleeves glowed with a green light before suddenly transforming into two gigantic silver scythes.

  Jake’s eyes nearly fell out of his head as he looked at those gleaming, deadly-looking scythes. Cool. Jake thought and a small sil
ly smile formed on his face. This is just like watching a 3-D movie. Nova Inara and Stellar attacked each other. Stellar twisted a knob on the side of her gun before rushing at Nova Inara and firing her blaster. Nova Inara dodged the green lazer beams while charging at Stellar and swinging her scythes at the Galaxy Police officer, who lithely dodged.

  As Stellar moved her large breasts bounced up and down and Jake’s eyes were riveted to her. Two hot alien babes fighting each other. It doesn’t get any better than this. Jake thought. “This is so awesome, dude.” Jake grabbed his cheek and pulled. “Ow. Nope, this really isn’t a dream.”

  Nova Inara nearly beheaded Stellar with her next move, but only managed to graze the officer’s arm instead. Stellar managed to shoot Nova Inara in the android’s arm and Jake watched as Nova Inara’s arm became infected by angry green lines that seemed to spread throughout the kimono sleeve that somehow must have been a part of the machine as well. A virus? Jake wondered.

  “You’ve infected me with a virus…damn you Stellar…” Her data was being corrupted and deleted. Nova Inara raised her other scythe and cut her own arm off to stop the spread of the virus to the rest of her liquid-metal body. Jake watched as her severed arm hit the ground and transformed from a scythe into a robotic arm with wires coming out of the top. Jake was now even more certain that Nova Inara was definitely some kind of humanoid robot.

  With the way her existence seemed to be flickering she was beginning to resemble a hologram. Jake had been moved by her brutal, desperate action and saw wires sticking out of her shoulder where her arm used to be as well as more of that silvery blood that was dripping down onto the ground. Obviously this no-faced, alien, robot woman was losing this fight. There was a sinking feeling in Jake’s gut at the thought.

  She was a loser. Just like him.

  A triumphant smile formed on Stellar’s face as she looked at her handiwork. “Surrender yourself now, Nova Inara. There is no escape. I will take you to Galaxy Police Headquarters where you will be deleted for your crimes of wiping out entire planets and turning all of their inhabitants into robots. I especially cannot forgive you for robotisizing the inhabitants of Alpha 6 - my home planet. You are nothing but a virus yourself, Nova Inara!”

  “A virus?” Nova Inara said in a monotone voice. “I am an energy goddess, you foolish woman.”

  Standoff.

  Stellar approached Nova Inara while taking out a pair of futuristic handcuffs. Nova Inara was about to be arrested. For some reason Jake’s heart went out to Nova Inara and he felt like he wanted to help her. But what could he possibly do?

  Jake knew he had a cool name but that definitely didn’t mean he was actually cool. Quite the contrary, Jake was well aware of just how un-cool he really was. Dammit…why was I the one to see Nova Inara crash land? Why didn’t some really cool person find her? He probably could have saved her. Instead Nova Inara had to encounter me. This sucks. This is so unfair but…Nova Inara is the most interesting thing to have ever happened to me. I can’t let her be destroyed!

  Without really thinking, Jake rushed out from his hiding place and stood between Stellar and Nova Inara with his back to the killer android.

  Jake put his arms out to his sides, his legs were shaking, his knees knocking together, but he glared at Stellar who was kind of like a bully in his eyes. This thought had given him strength. Jake hated bullies.

  “S-s-stay b-b-back! Stay away from her! D-d-don’t come any closer!” Jake yelled, his voice cracking.

  Stellar stopped and raised an eyebrow at Jake. She took out some kind of energy reading device and waved it over Jake. “Species: Human. Sex: Male. Age: 10. Strength: .0236. Weak. You’re weak kid. Now, get out of my way…that woman behind you is a dangerous, Most Wanted, Galactic Criminal. She’s no victim. She’s a monster.”

  Jake frowned. “B-b-but…you attacked her when she was already injured and t-t-that’s…cowardly. Y-y-you’re nothing but a big bully!” And if Jake knew anything - it was about bullies.

  And since Jake had experience with bullies and how to temporarily escape their grasp Jake took out a homemade flash grenade and threw it at Stellar unexpectedly managing to temporarily blind the skilled Galaxy Police Officer.

  Because Jake was short for his age, lanky, cowardly, and weak…he had lots of experience with bullies at school. The boys in his grade would steal his lunch money, video games, X-men trading cards, and beat him up occasionally just for fun. But if it’s one thing Jake got good at it was running away. This was one of Jake Lonestar’s ‘special skills’. Well, that and ‘doing nothing’ in order to not get noticed by people. So helping Nova Inara was out of character for him but…he simply hated bullies. Deep down, any time he was getting picked on by bullies he had always secretly wished and hoped for someone to magically come to his aid and save him.

  Absolutely terrified, he grabbed Nova Inara’s sleeve and began to pull her along as they ran away from Stellar. Jake knew the perfect place to take this alien robot woman. He would take her to his ‘secret base’ - a cave he had discovered and which served as the perfect hiding place from the boys in his neighborhood that liked to make Jake’s weekends hell. His parents had no idea that when they sent Jake out to play on the weekends that they were sending him into the hands of Emerson Elementary School’s bullies who liked to come up with strange ways to torture Jake.

  Jimmy, Joe and Stuart would do cruel things to him for fun like stripping him naked and tying him up to a tree in a bear-infested forest while leaving him there to scream his lungs out until his voice would grow so hoarse he couldn’t scream any more. They’d also strip him down naked and toss him into the crocodile infested river. Jake never saw any bears or crocodiles but he was still terrified when the boys did this to him because of the very possibility of there being such creatures.

  Another time they dressed him up like a girl, took him on their bicycles several hours away from Lonestar Ranch and just left Jake in the middle of nowhere. He had to walk back to the ranch all alone and on foot for several hours not daring to try and hitchhike with the way he was currently dressed. He had gotten sick and nearly passed out by the time he had arrived home. His parents had been worried but Jake refused to tell them why they had found him in such a state.

  Other times they would simply beat him up or give him painful wedgies. When they grew bored of this they tried to find strange things to force Jake to eat and drew enjoyment from Jake’s funny reactions to eating things like worms with ketchup. Stuart, Joe and Jimmy let Jake experience his own personal Fear Factor on a daily basis. Then there were times when they’d strip him down pour honey on his body and throw feathers or flour on him. Yep, the boys in his grade were sure creative when it came to ways to just make his life miserable. Other than that they were in reality a group of boneheads.

  His parents didn’t know about Jake’s problems with bullies since he never told them. Jake never told them because he was ashamed. If he had super powers he would have been able to stand up for himself but…in reality Jake was just a wimpy little kid at the mercy of the taller, meaner, and stronger boys in his grade.

  But then, one day, when Jake was running away from The Evil Trio he tripped and fell into a series of prickly thorn bushes and discovered a cave that existed behind them. He decided to make the cave his ‘secret base’ and on weekends when his parents forced him to go play outside Jake would run as fast as he could for his secret base and pray that the boys wouldn’t find him first. Sometimes he made it, sometimes he did not. Because of this Jake practiced running when he could and had become really good at it. At this point, Stuart, Joe and Jimmy couldn’t keep up with him. This frustrated the mean spirited boys though, so that the few times they did catch Jake they really made him pay for it.

  And now, Jake was doing what he did best - running while holding the sleeve of the alien robot woman. She was running along with him and didn’t resist his help. Jake led her to the mountain that was surrounded by thorn bushes and showed
her the hidden entrance to the cave. They ducked down and entered. As soon as he was inside Jake immediately began to light the torches he had already hung up on the cave walls.

  The cave was illuminated to reveal a ten-year-old boy’s secret base. Jake was a wannabe Texas cowboy. He had a collection of horseshoes hanging on the walls, a ratty, old Stetson (his father had thrown it away and Jake had salvaged it) was hanging on a peg, and drawings were all over the walls depicting a cowboy riding, shooting Indians, and lassoing cattle. Jake wished he could be a cool cowboy like his father James but…he was terrified of horses. Well, not terrified of horses exactly, but of riding them. He was fine when he was just petting, grooming or feeding them but once he was sitting on top of one he just panicked. He was always getting bucked off or thrown off because he was so terrified. Horses could smell fear. Apparently, horses were a lot like bullies too.

  Jake also secretly wanted to become a Rodeo Clown like his dad who was pretty famous in Amarillo. A Rodeo Clown was a performer who would gave exhibitions of roping, riding and bulldogging.

  Nova Inara looked around the cave’s interior and the way it was decorated curiously. “Is this where you live, human child?”

  Jake blushed at the idea of him being some homeless boy that lived in a cave. “N-n-no. This is my safe-” He had been about to say something pathetic like ‘safe house’ but caught himself. “Secret base.” He said instead and puffed up his chest with pride.

  “I see.” Nova Inara nodded and made her way over to a clear area to sit down. “You will allow me to stay here as I fix myself, human boy. I need to purge the virus that has infected a part of my data. I must also try and recover lost data. Yes, I will stay here and restore my data.” She motioned to her missing arm.

  Jake didn’t really understand her sci-fi lingo. But he got the fact that she wanted to stay there so she could recover. He also noticed that it hadn’t really been a request, but more of a statement. Jake swallowed thickly, he was used to getting threatened though. “Okay.” Jake agreed, meekly.

  The faceless alien looked at Jake curiously. “Aren’t you afraid of me, human boy? Of my appearance?”

  Jake nodded vigorously, truth be told he was about to piss in his pants, “I’m absolutely terrified.”

  The faceless android tilted her head at the human boy then. “Your actions do not compute. Why did you help me if you are afraid of me?”

  Jake scratched the side of his face bashfully. “I just don’t like cowardly bullies.”

  “Bullies? A person who deliberately intimidates or is cruel to weaker people. And you think that the Galaxy Police Officer Stellar is a bully and that I am the weak victim?” Nova Inara said in her synthetic tone and wondered if she should try and make her voice sound sarcastic. This young boy was incredibly foolish if he thought that she was a weak being.

  Jake nodded. “Yea, I mean, she attacked you when you were already obviously hurt.”

  Nova Inara nodded in agreement. “I see.”

  The following morning, Jake returned to the Lonestar Ranch. His sister Bonnie was outside on the front porch waiting for Jake. Jake frowned when he caught sight of her.

  “Jake!” Bonnie stood up from the porch swing and ran towards her brother. “You’re back! You’re alive!”

  “Yea, no thanks to you…” Jake muttered in a low voice as Bonnie walked up to him and grasped his shoulders.

  She peered intensely into Jake’s eyes. “You’re okay. What happened?”

  Jake considered telling Bonnie the truth about what had happened to him. About how he had ended up saving the android Nova Inara and was now hiding her but even Bonnie didn’t know about Jake’s secret base. He was also still feeling hurt and betrayed that Bonnie had just left him behind. This is what led Jake to lie instead. “You’re never going to believe it, Bonnie! A camera man popped out of nowhere and revealed that we were on Punk’d!” It’s okay. I don’t need Bonnie. I can handle this myself.

  Bonnie gave her brother a skeptical look. “Punk’d? I thought they canceled that show…”

  “They did but…they’re making a comeback.” Jake stuttered. “Well, anyways I better go say howdy to Ma and Pa so that they know I’m alive at least…” Jake said as he turned to go into the house.

  “Wait!” Bonnie called after Jake. “I know you’re lying. You’re an awful liar Jake. Why won’t you just tell me the truth?”

  “Why do you think?” Jake said in a low voice, without looking behind him and continued his way into the house.

  Bonnie watched her brother enter the house sadly. She truly hadn’t meant to leave Jake behind like that. She thought he was right behind her - like he always was. She wanted to apologize but the words just wouldn’t form properly. “Big Bro…I…”

  Over the next few days, Jake allowed Nova Inara to stay at his secret base while she recovered her lost data. He didn’t really understand what it meant to be an android, however, and went about taking care of Nova Inara as best he could.

  He didn’t understand that Nova Inara didn’t really need to eat, and went fishing since he was worried about Nova Inara being hungry. He thought that the alien woman was just too shy to ask him for something to eat. Jake loved fishing and that day managed to catch five nice looking trout which he put inside of a bucket that he had brought with him and filled with water. Unfortunately, the river was close to where his classmates Stuart, Joe and Jimmy lived and it wasn’t long before they spotted him fishing. Jake was just getting ready to go, having decided that the five trout would probably be enough to make himself and Nova Inara a nice dinner when-

  Stuart, Joe and Jimmy emerged from the surrounding woods and approached Jake. As soon as they caught sight of Jake mischievous, evil smirks formed on their dirty faces.

  “Well, well, well, lookie what we have here, boys.” Drawled the first boy as he ran his hand back through his sandy blonde hair probably thinking that the motion made him look cool. Stuart was the leader of the little gang of bullies and the tallest of the three boys. He was also the meanest and most intelligent.

  A frown formed on Jake’s face as he caught sight of the bullies. His body was already beginning to tremble in fear but he stood his ground. For once. This wasn’t just about him anymore. “I-I-It’s not your river, S-S-Stuart.” Jake challenged.

  “What was that?!” Stuart demanded as he picked his nose and then stalked forward to wipe his booger on the front of Jake’s shirt. Stuart towered over Jake by at least a foot in height. “Did you just dare speak back to me, Jake?!” Stuart snapped as he glared down at the frightened boy.

  Jake flinched and gulped. Stuart was always using him as a tissue. Yuck.

  There was an evil gleam in Stuart’s icy blue eyes and he cracked his knuckles. “Boys, I think Jake needs to be reminded of who rules this here river…”

  Joe, a fat kid with dark hair, who could always be seen with a can of Pringles in his hands, and Jimmy, a lanky but extremely tall, freckled, red-headed boy, both chuckled at Jake’s plight. The three boys nodded to each other before approaching Jake who had frozen in terror. They grabbed Jake and proceeded to beat the shit out of him.

  Stuart kicked Jake’s bucket over and watched gleefully as the five fish spilled out onto the muddy ground. “These fish don’t belong to you, loser!” Stuart said and stomped his foot down on one of the fish.

  Bloody, bruised, broken, Jake spoke up, “NO!” Jake threw his body on the fish and covered the fish with his hands. But his hands ended up getting painfully stomped on in the process.

  Stuart was shocked at first, before he grinned sadistically down at Jake. “Get out of my way, loser…those fish don’t belong to you. They belong to me which means I can do whatever the hell I want to them.”

  But Jake stubbornly refused to move and shook his head as his body trembled in fear. “NO!” Outwardly, Jake tried to put on a brave face but he just ended up looking constipated. On the inside, however, Jake was freaking out: Oh crap! I’m
so going to die! It hurts…it hurts…!

  Stuart frowned down at Jake’s stubbornness, maybe even braveness and became pissed. He brought his muddy sneaker down hard on Jake’s hand again and again until it was a bloody mess. Jake cried out, tears streaming down his face, and he ended up passing out from the pain. Several of his fingers had been broken.

  “Pathetic loser…let’s go, boys…” Stuart sneered as he spit on Jake’s unconscious body and the three boys left the riverbank chuckling darkly and without looking back.

  Jake woke up a few hours later alone on the riverbank with a few dirty fish around him. The fingers of his right hand were broken but it was a small price to pay since he had actually managed to protect the fish. Jake grinned goofily. I did it…I actually did it…I managed to protect something. Me?! Pathetic me. Jake picked up the bucket and stumbled over to the river to refill it. Jake walked back over to the fallen fish, picked them up, and wiped them off before placing them back inside the bucket.

  Afterwards, he took the fish back to his secret base. Once inside Jake gathered up some tree branches and piled them in the center of the cave so that he could make a fire. Jake was confident in his ability to cook fish since he’d done it on his own before. It didn’t take Jake very long to have a small fire blazing and he stuck the fish on sticks that he then stuck into the fire. The fish didn’t take very long to cook and soon he was taking a fish on a stick over to Nova Inara, who had been watching his actions curiously but had been silent throughout Jake’s cooking.

  Nova Inara raised an invisible eyebrow at this strange human boy. She took in his battered appearance and broken-looking hand. “What’s this, human boy?”

  Jake immediately became embarrassed, and placed a hand (his uninjured one) behind his head, a blush forming on his cheeks as he looked away from the android, “I, err, I figured you must be hungry so I…caught you some fish…”

  “Foolish human boy…I do not need to consume food. I am a collective group of billions of nanomachines that evolved to gain a single consciousness and a will. I am a highly advanced living-metal weapon.” Nova Inara explained coolly.

  “Huh?” Jake gave her a blank look.

  “I am…” Nova Inara struggled to find simpler words to explain her existence to this dim little human boy. “An android that possesses artificial intelligence. An automaton that only resembles a human being. In fact, I was made to resemble an alien race.” Nova Inara went on to clarify.

  “You mean, you really are a robot? Cool!” Jake’s light brown eyes sparkled. But then Jake’s expression fell. “If you’re supposed to resemble an alien then why…don’t you have a face?” Jake tentatively ventured to ask. I hope she doesn’t eat my brains for asking!

  Nova Inara supposed that since she was just an android she shouldn’t have been affected by such a question. But the fact of the matter was that she was affected by it. And for some unfathomable reason she decided to tell this small human boy the truth. “I was designed by the most powerful alien race in the galaxy to be their ultimate weapon. They feared that with my vast knowledge and intelligence I would be able to easily assimilate and live among them if I ever escaped and so they programmed me from the very beginning not to have a face. I’ve tried to change the programming in order to have a face but the code that the dragons used is so complex that even I am unable to modify it. That is why I am faceless and will continue to remain faceless for all eternity. I will never smile. Does my appearance appall and frighten you, human boy?”

  Jake vigorously shook his head in denial. “It’s not…scary, just different. I think that even without a face…you’re beautiful.” Jake ventured with a bright blush on his boyish cheeks.

  Nova Inara couldn’t help the surprise she felt at the boy’s words. He had just called her beautiful. Nova Inara placed a hand over her chest. Strange, she shouldn’t be feeling such emotions. This human boy was having a strange effect on her. Nova Inara’s attention was once again drawn to Jake’s broken hand which he was doing a poor job of concealing. “Who did that to you?” Nova Inara asked in a monotone voice, making sure that it was completely devoid of emotion or concern.

  But Jake had a vivid imagination and thought that there had been concern in Nova Inara’s question. Jake became emotional, thinking that Nova Inara cared or was worried about him. “Don’t worry…I’m okay.” He gave Nova Inara a reassuring smile that quickly turned into a frown, however, as he remembered what had happened to him. “It was just Stuart, Joe and Jimmy - those jerks. They don’t like it when I fish at the river. They claim the river is theirs…” Jake pouted.

  “Foolish human boy, why do you assume I am worried about you? For I am not.” Nova Inara inwardly frowned. Am I worried about the boy? A human? Impossible. “Is the river theirs?”

  “No…” Jake scratched his head thoughtfully. “Well, what do robots eat?”

  “Energy. Knowledge. I suppose.” Nova Inara shrugged. “Knowledge can make me evolve. Come here, human boy.” Nova Inara ordered Jake. Jake immediately complied, acting like a loyal puppy-dog. “Hold out your hand.” Jake hesitated for a moment but then quickly moved closer. Nova Inara gripped his hand and injected some nanomachines into his hand using her finger.

  Jake felt a painful prick that reminded him of getting his flu shot. “Ow!” Tears formed in his eyes. “What was that? What did you just do?” Jake questioned the android nervously.

  “I injected some healing nanomachines into your body.” Nova Inara explained in her synthetic voice.

  “Nanomachines?” Jake asked but then his hand burst into pain as his bones were suddenly being healed and mended together by the nanomachines. Jake screamed but then the pain was gone. His fingers no longer hurt and he could move his hand again. Jake’s eyes widened like saucers. “Cool. That was like magic…” Jake murmured as he opened and closed his hand into a fist.

  “No, not magic, but science and advanced technology.” Nova Inara droned coldly. “There is no such thing as magic, human boy.”

  But Jake was looking at Nova Inara with hearts in his eyes. She had just helped him. And no one had ever helped Jake before except for his tomboy sister Bonnie. Jake shook his head. He didn’t want to think about Bonnie. He was still mad at her. I think she’s magical. She’s like a galactic fairy.

  “You live on a horse ranch, correct?” Nova Inara questioned.

  “My parents own a horse ranch…yea…” Jake replied cautiously, wondering why Nova Inara would want to know about that.

  Nova Inara let out a thoughtful hum. “Hmm. Hence the cowboy memorabilia. You like cowboys? I suppose you have your own horse and know how to ride, boy?”

  Jake pointed a finger to himself, “Me?” He squeaked and then shuddered at the thought of sitting on top of a horse. “No way…I’m too much of a coward. I’m absolutely terrified of horses. Anytime I ride one I get bucked off…or I’m so paralyzed with fear that I just fall off…it’s pretty pathetic.” Jake felt his face flush out of embarrassment.

  “You are afraid of horses and yet…pictures of horses cover the cave walls.” Nova Inara looked around the cave curiously. “You like horses. And yet you cannot ride because you are a coward.”

  Jake nodded, a solemn look on his face. “And because I’m weak but…I want to be a cool cowboy. I wish…my dream is to be a cool cowboy and Rodeo Clown like my dad, but I’m too weak and too much of a coward…” Jake hung his head.

  “So…you seek strength?” Nova Inara asked casually.

  “Huh?” Jake looked up at the faceless android. “No…I know that despite whatever I do it won’t change anything. It’s better to not get my hopes up. It’s a dream. I don’t expect it to come true. I’ve learned that doing nothing keeps me out of trouble. I’ll always be weak and I’ll always be a coward. Nothing I do will change that…”

  “So you do seek strength. I compute. I mean, I understand.” Nova Inara nodded to herself. He does seek strength, and wishes to be stronger. He wishes to have
courage but won’t admit it. Perhaps I can help him.

  Jake gave Nova Inara an expectant and hopeful look as he waited for her to try the fish he had cooked. Nova Inara inwardly sighed. But then decided why not humor the strange human boy. She ate the fish, which she could not taste and said: “Delicious.” She did not know why she said this, nor could she comprehend her own actions, but when she saw Jake’s reaction she knew that she had done the right thing.

  Jake beamed at her, filled with pride. “Thanks!”

  That was the first time anyone had ever thanked Nova Inara.

  She decided to let Jake continue to take care of her even though she didn’t need his care. Jake continued to fish for her and Nova Inara continued to eat the fish and pretend that it was delicious. After a few days of taking care of Nova Inara, Jake began to feel as though he had become friends with the alien robot. This gave him the confidence to voice a request to her one day.

  After Nova Inara had finished eating one of the fish Jake had cooked for her Jake cleared his throat to get her attention. “Um…you know…we never properly introduced ourselves…”

  “Is that so?” Nova Inara drawled in a bland tone.

  “Yea…and so I was wondering…” Jake scratched the back of his head nervously. “If we could properly greet each other and introduce ourselves. I know your name but you never personally told it to me so I feel awkward using it.”

  “I see.” Nova Inara nodded. Customs such as this one seemed to be important to Earthlings and so she decided to humor the human child. “Very well. How does one greet another here in Texas?”

  Jake grinned triumphantly. Alright! Yea! This is going to be so cool! “Well, first you just say ‘Howdy’!”

  “Howdy.” Nova Inara tried the strange word on her tongue.

  Jake pouted at her. “You have to say it more enthusiastically and…” A sudden idea came to Jake. He wondered if he could actually get Nova Inara to do what he wanted her to do and if he could it would be so totally awesome! “You have to put your index finger out like this and touch the tip of the other person’s finger at the same time.”

  “Oh?” Nova Inara raised her hand and allowed her kimono sleeve to fall down her arm so that a pale, thin-fingered hand was revealed. She stretched her hand out towards Jake.

  Jake reached his hand out towards Nova Inara and let the tip of his index finger touch the tip of the android’s index finger. “Howdy.”

  “Howdy.” Nova Inara echoed as she touched the tip of his index finger. Inwardly, she smiled. What a strange human boy.

  Jake grinned back at Nova Inara goofily. This is some ET shit right here. I am so awesome! I just made first contact with a hot alien babe! If those losers Stuart, Joe and Jimmy knew about this they would be so jealous! “Howdy! My name is Jake Lonestar. It’s a pleasure to meet ya, mam.” Jake said again as he tapped his finger against Nova Inara’s.

  She soon followed suit, and inwardly smiling, tapped her finger against Jake’s. “Howdy. My name is Nova Inara.”

  Jake began to laugh at the silliness of their actions and soon Nova Inara felt a strange sensation welling up inside of her as well. Before she realized what she was doing she was laughing right along with the strange human boy. “Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.” She laughed a bit mechanically but it was to be expected since it was her very first laugh. Ever.

  This boy seemed to have a mysterious power indeed, the ability to move people’s hearts, even metal ones.

  After several days, Nova Inara was finally beginning to recover and restore her data. And in just a few more days when Jake next walked into the cave it was to see that Nova Inara had her arm back. A wide grin broke out across Jake’s face. “You’re healed!” He looked excited and pleased.

  Inwardly, Nova Inara was smiling eerily. The time had come. “Yes, thanks to you, human boy. Allow me to repay your kindness.” Nova Inara stood up and walked towards Jake before she flung her hand out and stabbed Jake’s chest with it. How ironic that this foolish human boy has saved the existence of the very being who seeks to destroy humanity. All of the humans on this pathetic mudball of a planet shall be robotisized except for perhaps Jake Lonestar.

  Jake screamed out in pain and horror, Nova Inara had just stabbed his chest with her hand and there should have been blood and pain but…there wasn’t. Jake suddenly shut his mouth and stopped screaming. “What? What are you doing to me?” Jake looked down at the hand inside of his chest feeling sick.

  “Rewarding you, human boy. By giving you strength.” Nova Inara informed him in her synthesized voice. I will not only inject his body with the neo-nanomachines but I will also hide the D. Spark inside of his body for safe keeping.

  “But I already told you that I don’t want strength.” Jake argued.

  “You need strength to become a cowboy, do you not?” Nova Inara reminded him. “I’m rewarding you with strength, human boy. Be grateful.” Nova Inara declared and began to inject the neo-nanomachines into Jake’s body.

  Jake felt something being injected into his body, and it felt like liquid fire, it hurt so damned much. He let out a bloodcurdling scream. He was so confused. Why did Nova Inara suddenly attack him? Why did she hurt him? Weren’t they friends? Wasn’t she his very first friend? The first person to worry about him? Besides Bonnie? (But he didn’t need Bonnie anymore, right?) To help him or give a shit about Jake Lonestar? Can a robot and a human being be friends? Jake wondered as he fell into unconsciousness.

  The last thing that Jake remembered hearing was Nova Inara’s monotone voice slithering over him like a deadly snake. “I’ll also reward you by taking care of your enemies. Be grateful, human boy.”

  Several hours later, Jake woke up with a start and remembered what Nova Inara had last told him. He had a sinking feeling in his gut at her ominous words. Take care of my enemies? Jake wondered. She can’t possibly mean…Jake’s heart stopped in his chest as he thought of something. He had a really bad feeling about this.

  Jake half ran, half stumbled, out of the cave and continued through the woods as fast as he could, heading towards the river. His shoelace broke causing him to trip and land smack on his face. Even though his nose was probably broken Jake pushed himself up off the ground and continued running as fast as he could. He ran wildly through the forest, stumbling over rocks and ignored the tree branches that tried to catch him as he passed and left deep scratches on his arms and legs. He was running so frantically that he didn’t notice the log that was in his path before it was too late. Jake’s foot hit the log and he flew forward over it and right smack into a tree trunk.

  Normally, this would have hurt like hell. Heck, he probably should have died from the impact, but the tree broke in half instead. Jake looked down at the tree confusedly. Weird. But Jake didn’t have time to figure out what the hell had just happened and continued his way to the river as fast as his short legs could carry him. He knew that he had to stop Nova Inara from whatever it was she had decided to do.

  Unfortunately, Jake arrived at the riverbank too late. Nova Inara’s kimono sleeves, which had been transformed into two metal scythes, were already covered in blood by the time Jake reached the riverbank panting for breath. The bodies of Stuart, Joe and Jimmy were lying at Nova Inara’s feet. The broken, bloody, and unmoving bodies of Jake’s so-called enemies. Three ten-year-old boys.

  Nova Inara turned around slowly, saw Jake, and he had to rub his eyes when he could have sworn he saw a smile stretch across her faceless visage. Blood and guts covered her scythes and bright red blood had also splattered across her perfect white face.

  Jake felt bile rise up in his throat. “NOOO! What have you done?! You…killed them! You monster!”

  Nova Inara’s inward smile quickly left her, and she became thoughtful. “You sound displeased, human boy. But that can’t be right. These are your enemies and I disposed of them for you. They’ll never pick on you again, Jake. Doesn’t that make you happy?” Her synthesized voice held a note of hope in i
t.

  Jake was trembling with his hands clenched at his sides into fists, “No! What are you? How could you possibly think that! Sure…they made my life a living hell but…I never wished them dead. No one has the right to take the life of another human being: that’s what my mother told me! Life is a precious gift from God…you stole their lives! Their souls! I…hate you!” Jake collapsed to the ground and began to throw up as Nova Inara approached his convulsing body.

  Nova Inara looked down at Jake as he dry-heaved. She felt confused. “I do not understand. This does not compute. His behavior makes no sense. It’s illogical. According to my research and data of Earth and its inhabitants…he is not acting as most statistically would given his current situation. He is…unusual. I do not…I cannot understand him. Jake Lonestar does not compute. Jake Lonestar is an anomaly.” Nova Inara decided in her monotone voice. She wondered if she could somehow make her face look sad. She thought that she felt sad seeing Jake suffer like that. He was injured too. But she was sure the neo-nanomachines would heal him quickly enough. Still, she found herself reaching her kimono sleeve out towards him unconsciously.

  But Jake thought Nova Inara was going to kill him and freaked out accordingly. “No! Stay away! You monster! I hate you!” Jake shrieked in horror and fear.

  Nova Inara inwardly blinked at Jake in confusion. “No, I’m not-” She continued to reach her bloody sleeve out towards the human boy.

  “Nova Inara!” Came Stellar’s commanding voice. “Get away from that boy!” Stellar yelled and shot her blaster at Nova Inara without further warning. Nova Inara dodged the streaks of red light that whizzed through the air and felt inwardly pleased as she turned to face the Galaxy Police Officer once and for all.

  “Goodbye Stellar.” Nova Inara said as she raised her scythe and it shot out, extending through the air, a great distance, ten feet at least, and stabbed Stellar through the heart with deadly precision. Jake watched as the metal scythe pierced Stellar’s body and exited out her back. Blood gushed and spurted through the air. Jake cringed. This was like a nightmare. No, this was worst than any nightmare he had ever had before. Worse than any horror film his brave sister Bonnie had made him watch in secret in his room late at night. The fully healed Nova Inara was invincible.

  Jake didn’t even realize that he was screaming as he watched Stellar being killed and his body began to tremble violently as it began to rain blood. The beautiful Galaxy Police Officer had just been killed right before his eyes and suddenly everything was real. This wasn’t a movie or a comic book. This was reality. Once again Jake could have sworn he could see a smile stretch across Nova Inara’s face but maybe he was just hallucinating. “I liked you better when you were faceless.” Jake said.

  Nova Inara ignored Jake as she allowed her scythe’s temperature to rise so that the Galaxy Police Officer Stellar was instantly incinerated. She didn’t want to leave any evidence behind in case Stellar’s fellow Galaxy Police Officers somehow managed to track Nova Inara to Earth. “Since both our ships crash landed on this pathetic little planet and are now unable to fly I suppose I have no choice but to remain on Earth. There are too many living creatures here however. I suppose I will have to make plans in order to robotisize the inhabitants here. Therefore, I must travel to the appropriate linchpin city. My research has revealed that New York City is that city. If I carry out my plans there then the whole world will become robotisized.” Nova Inara reached out and stroked Jake’s head with her kimono sleeve. “As a parting gift I promise not to put my real plans for this planet into action for another eight years. At that time you shall be eighteen-years-old, Jake Lonestar. You’ll legally be an adult by most Earthling standards. When you are an adult we shall meet again. I will be curious to see if you’ve managed to gain control over the neo-nanomachines and become a cowboy, or not. Oh, and make sure to guard it well.”

  Jake looked up dazedly at Nova Inara from his place on the ground where he had finally finished throwing up. Half of what Nova Inara had said didn’t make any sense to him. “I…wait…” Jake tried to speak to the deadly android but passed out from the stress and shock his mind and body had just gone through.

  A few hours later, Jake was discovered unconscious on the riverbank incriminatingly surrounded by the dead bodies of Stuart, Joe and Jimmy. He was taken to the Amarillo Police Station and asked about what happened. Jake naively told the cops everything - about the Galaxy Police Officer Stellar and about the robot Nova Inara. The cops thought Jake had gone crazy and he was immediately admitted to the Austin State Hospital, which was formerly known as the State Lunatic Asylum.

  For the next several months, Jake was a patient at the Austin State Hospital. During Jake’s stay at the psychiatric hospital any time Jake touched electrical devices of any kind they would end up short-circuiting and explode. Because Jake kept on destroying expensive medical devices and would occasionally accidentally free the other mental patients from their rooms, Jake was swiftly allowed to return to the Lonestar Ranch back in Amarillo with a clean bill of health.

  Jake had turned eleven during his stay at the psychiatric hospital and was eleven-years-old when he returned to the Lonestar Ranch. At first, Jessie, James and Bonnie seemed happy to have Jake back until they realized that Jake truly had changed. He wasn’t the son or brother they had known. Jake only had to touch a toaster and it would explode. His family didn’t believe the story about Galaxy Police Officers or alien robots either. But Bonnie knew the truth and the fact that she avoided him like the plague hurt Jake.

  Jake put a hand to his chest and wondered for the hundredth time what Nova Inara had actually done to him. His chest felt heavy. Nova Inara had done something strange to him. He had been changed. He was different. He was no longer physically weak and started to accidentally break stuff. If his father asked him to help mend a broken fence…the fence would end up being completely demolished. If he was asked to wash dishes by his mother he’d break the plates no matter how gentle he tried to be. When asked to cook he accidentally bent the metal pans. And once when he was mucking out the stalls he somehow formed a gigantic crater in one of the stalls. His mere touch now caused destruction and chaos in its wake. He couldn’t control his newfound strength. And he had no one to turn to for help. Bonnie continued to ignore him and act as if he didn’t exist.

  His parents refused to see these strange occurrences as evidence that Jake had been telling the truth about aliens and robots. They ignored his strange feats of strength and explained it away as Jake going through some kind of rebellious stage. They decided that he was just pulling crazy pranks on purpose and that Jake’s bouts of unexplainable strength were just…hormones. They wouldn’t believe that their son had somehow come to possess superhuman abilities. That just wouldn’t make any sense in their normal, cookie-cutter lives.

  The Lonestars strove to be a happy, traditional, American family and anything that contradicted with this ideal was ignored.

  Jake was harshly told by his parents to do nothing, absolutely nothing. And so he did nothing. All the electrical appliances in the house were thrown out. And his parents and sister Bonnie were forced to live a life without electricity because of him. He had become a burden.

  One day, he noticed that his sister Bonnie had thrown out all of her CDs of her favorite pop singer: Galaxy Girl. He wondered if it was because she was worried about having a CD player in her room that Jake would affect or because of Galaxy Girl’s name…Jake had always enjoyed secretly listening to Galaxy Girl sing from behind his sister’s door. Jake tossed the CD back into the wastebasket. He had even taken this simple pleasure away from his sister. It was no wonder she avoided him.

  Jake recognized the look his parents were giving him and his heart sank. They were afraid of him. His own family was actually afraid of him. They didn’t understand him anymore and so were afraid. Jake’s life had changed dramatically and he found himself alone a lot more especially since he had lost his best friend, Bonnie. Bonnie dista
ncing herself from him hurt the most. He only hoped she hated him for screwing up her normal life rather than the alternative which was fearing him like his parents. He spent much more time with the horses and they became his only friends. The horses were very good listening and Jake would feed them carrots as he poured his heart out of all its woes.

  On one particularly sad day when his parents had forgotten his twelfth birthday, Jake had headed to the stables to chill out with the horses. He felt so sad and alone that he decided he needed a hug. And even if a hug from a horse was all he could get Jake decided that it would be enough.

  Jake’s favorite horse was a young mare named Patch. Patch was a sweet horse. And always let out a happy little puff of air when she saw Jake as if saying hello. Jake walked up to Patch and stared sadly into the horse’s face. “I can’t believe they actually forgot my birthday. But I guess…why would they want to celebrate the day I came into existence? I wonder when your birthday is Patch? I wish you could tell me because then I would celebrate it with you…you’re such a good girl.” Jake said before wrapping his arms around Patch’s neck and burying his face in her neck as he felt hot tears stream down his face.

  Jake unconsciously tightened his hold upon Patch’s neck until a strange crack rang through the air. Jake quickly pulled away from Patch and watched in horror as the horse fell lifelessly to the stable floor in front of him.

  Jake backed away from the unmoving horse, eyes wide. No…this can’t be! This isn’t possible!

  Jake had accidentally snapped Patch’s neck.

  He had killed Patch. His only friend. With his bare hands.

  Now he was all alone again. His touch seemed to destroy anything it touched. For several hours, Jake contemplated whether or not he should just cut his own hands off. In the end he was too much of a coward and afraid of the pain he would feel to do it.

  END OF FLASHBACK.

  Five years later…Jake was seventeen-years-old now, a jaded, extremely lazy teenager. Jake had grown up all those years mostly alone, avoided, feared, without electricity, without love, without hugs or kisses and without birthday parties or presents. He had lived those five years trying to do absolutely nothing so that he wouldn’t hurt anyone or anything. His days mostly consisted of fishing, taking naps, cloud gazing, or star gazing at night. Jake still loved comic books but now that he was seventeen he had also gotten his hands on some dirty magazines and issues of Playboy to add to his collection.

  What? He was a healthy seventeen-year-old boy with natural urges. Naw, Jake Lonestar had grown up to be a horny pervert. He had plenty of Playboy magazines that he used when he felt like passing the time by just jerking off. Conveniently, masturbating counted as ‘doing nothing’ in Jake’s book.

  However, one night, when Jake had been half-asleep laying out in the cornfields and stargazing with one hand down his pants as he jerked off when he saw a bright light in the sky suddenly. An unusual looking, disc-shaped, blue-tinged light. His eyes widened when he realized it must be a flying saucer. “An a-a-alien s-s-spaceship!” Jake burst out, stuttering. He then noticed that the ship seemed to be heading towards the Lonestar Ranch. Shit! Ma! Pa! Lil Sis! Jake thought frantically as he ran through the cornfields to the house just in time to see his mother, father, and sister looking up at the flying saucer that was hovering directly above them with an awed look on all their faces. They were just standing there, frozen, eyes wide, as they stared up at the alien spacecraft.

  Jake frantically called out to them. “Ma! Pa! Sis! Get away from there! That’s an alien spaceship!”

  James turned his head and met Jake’s eyes, an apologetic look on his face. “You weren’t lying…I’m sorry son. I should have believed you, I-”

  However, a beam of blue light came down from the flying saucer and engulfed Jake’s family in a blue light. Jake gawked at the sight before him, horrified. “NO!”

  The beam of light grew brighter, and the light turned silver in color as his family was captured and teleported aboard the vessel.

  “NOOO!” Jake ran to stand directly under the flying saucer and looked up, trembling, and afraid. “Hey! What about me?! Take me too! Don’t leave me behind!” Jake yelled up at the spaceship.

  The teleportation beam descended once more as if having heard Jake’s plea and engulfed Jake. The beam glowed brightly, turning silver, and Jake could feel himself being lifted off the ground.

  However, the beam began to react with Jake’s neo-nanomachines and the teleportation device that was onboard the flying saucer short-circuited. The sound of an explosion rocking the ship above him was heard and the beam of light that had had Jake trapped suddenly disappeared.

  The ship’s hull was now smoking and the flying saucer decided to depart quickly - basically fleeing from Jake and his unusual abilities. Jake gawked after the flying saucer in disbelief. “Hey! Get back here you cowards and abduct me too! Shit!” Jake ran after the ship until his legs gave out beneath him. He desperately reached his hand out in the direction of the departing flying saucer. Dammit! He thought before he passed out.

  Jake woke up a few hours later to find himself in a cell at the local Amarillo Police Station. His family had mysteriously disappeared but he knew better than to tell the cops the truth like the last time and so this time around just kept his mouth stubbornly shut when they took him to a small, claustrophobic room and began to interrogate him. This time maybe they’d think he had developed some kind of speech impediment. But regardless, he had decided to do and say absolutely nothing. Because of his stubbornness Jake remained in jail for several days having been accused this time of mass murdering his own family though there was no real evidence. Unfortunately, Jake had no other family that he knew of and so didn’t expect anyone to come to get him out of jail or pay his bail. He expected to stay in jail indefinitely and thought maybe that was for the best since there were no electrical devices in his cell and locked away like he was he couldn’t hurt anyone.

  However, several days later, at the Amarillo Police Station Jake happened to be sitting on the bunk in his cell (wondering if he could get away with jerking off and wondering if anyone would notice) and thinking about the irony that he could simply bend the cell bars to pieces and escape if he really wanted to. These cops didn’t realize how dangerous he actually was, or maybe they did and that’s why he was locked up. Jake frowned in thought. He was just about to slip his hand inside his pants when one of the cops approached Jake’s cell with a sneer on his face. “Yer bail has been made, kid.” The man growled as he fished out his key ring and began to unlock Jake’s cell.

  Jake quickly pulled his hand away from the top of his pants and gave the cop a look of disbelief. “Huh? By who?” Had his parents returned? Hope swelled in his chest.

  “Yer aunt. She flew down here all the way from New York City. So ye’d better be grateful. She’s also going to be yer legal guardian until ye turn eighteen now. Everything has already been arranged.” The cop drawled in a thick southern accent and in a bored tone.

  Jake’s brow furrowed. “Aunt?” I didn’t even know I had an aunt. Jake reluctantly left the cell. Prison was a good place for someone like Jake to be because he couldn’t hurt anyone or cause anyone any trouble while behind bars. Jake was almost sad to go. Except he hadn’t jerked off for several days now and was feeling extremely horny.

  The cop escorted Jake to the front desk where Jake spotted a stylish, city slicker woman dressed in a Prada suit consisting of a black jacket, and knee length skirt. She was carrying a designer GUCCI shoulder bag and had on a pair of three-inch high stilettos. It would be impossible to walk around the sidewalks here in shoes like that. She definitely looked out of place in the middle of the Amarillo Police Station where a bunch of hicks were whistling at her and trying to get her attention.

  She turned around quickly, her long blonde ponytail whipping behind her, and spotted Jake. Jake thought that this woman was definitely attractive as he caught sight of her blue eyes that
sparkled behind oval-shaped glasses giving her an intellectual look. She was obviously middle-aged since she was supposed to be his aunt but she didn’t have a single wrinkle on her face. Jake looked down at her chest next and noticed she had large breasts.

  Big boobs. Sweet. Jake mentally nodded to himself. He would definitely jerk off to her mental image later…wait. Jake stopped himself. He couldn’t exactly jerk off to the mental image of his aunt now could he? Since she was supposed to be related. Kill joy. Jake shook his head frantically to get such perverted thoughts out of his head.

  His aunt eyed Jake curiously from head-to-toe as soon as she caught sight of him. “So this is my nephew, Jake…?!” Jake had grown much taller over the years and now stood at six foot, three inches. He was also incredibly muscular though Jake didn’t know why since he didn’t work out or anything. He wore his brown hair in a shaggy haircut and his aunt noticed his light brown eyes next. Jake hadn’t been able to shave for the past several days and so there was a bit of stubble on his chin. Jake was wearing a pair of faded, torn jeans, a Batman t-shirt, and a pair of VANS on his feet. His aunt’s eyes turned into two large hearts and she practically began to drool as she looked her handsome nephew over. “You’re a real looker…come here and give your auntie a hug!” She spread her arms wide and gave Jake an expectant look.

  “Er…” Jake stayed put. He definitely wanted to go and hug his busty aunt, and cop a feel of her large breasts while he was at it, but…he didn’t want to hurt her with his unusual strength and so didn’t move an inch. Damn, I wish I could hug my hot aunt…and touch her breasts! This sucks!

  His aunt pouted before reaching out unexpectedly and grabbing Jake before slamming his head into her chest. “Don’t be shy! We’re family after all!” Here was a woman who always got what she wanted.

  “Ack!” Jake went limp in her grasp since he didn’t want to hurt her and realized his face was totally in her boobs. Jake swallowed thickly and felt a trickle of blood form under his nose. His aunt had nice boobs. A blush spread across Jake’s face. This position was beginning to get a bit uncomfortable for him.

  His aunt didn’t seem to notice Jake’s discomfort, however, as she kept both her hands on Jake’s head and forcibly nuzzled his head between her breasts for much longer than was necessary or appropriate. She even grabbed his ass.

  Jake blinked. “Isn’t this sexual harassment, Aunt?”

  His aunt pulled back and gave Jake an incredulous look. “Heavens no. We’re family…this is how family shows affection. Haven’t you ever been hugged before? Anyways, my name’s Dr. Valery Dax but you can call me Auntie Val.” She stuck her hand out for Jake to take.

  Jake reluctantly took her hand, as lightly and gently as possible, and as a result his hand was practically a dead fish in hers.

  Dr. Valery gave Jake a quizzical look before squeezing his hand in a vice grip. “Your hand is like a cold dead fish! What a wimpy handshake! This is a hand shake!”

  “Ah!” Jake cringed and tried to pull his hand away. “Ow! What the hell, Aunt Val!”

  Dr. Valery let Jake’s hand go and chuckled. “Wimp!” Dr. Valery then noticed that Jake’s eyes had unconsciously lowered to stare at her large breasts. “Hey, my eyes are up here, nephew.” She motioned with her fingers making a V-shape at her eyes.

  “Ack, sorry I couldn’t help it. My eyes were trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!” Jake burst out and blushed at what he had just said. Stupid stupid stupid!

  But Dr. Valery just burst out laughing. “Come on Mr. Comedian - we’re late!” She turned on her stiletto heel and started off leaving Jake no choice but to chase after her.

  “Late? For what?” Jake called after her as they exited the Amarillo Police Station. Jake’s eyes bulged when he caught sight of the small private jet that was in the middle of the dusty street. Jake noticed that on the side of the plane in black letters was: NeoTech Corp.

  “The NeoTech Corporation?” Jake recalled that this company made video games that he used to play on his Xbox before he had to stop playing them. It really sucked not to be able to touch electronic equipment. Jake raked his brain for anything else he had heard over the years about the NeoTech Corporation. He remembered one of his classmates at school telling him that seven years ago the NeoTech Corporation began to make other things besides just video games. They had begun to make personal computers that were shaped like human beings. Basically, androids and robots that served as computers too. They could surf the Internet and you could check your mail using them. You could even make phone calls using them.

  The NeoTech Corporation also had a line of advanced sex toys and Sex Droids. Or so Jake had heard. At Amarillo High School it was every teenaged boy’s dream to get his hands on a beautiful, loyal Sex Droid apparently. Jake had heard his classmates all talking about it though he hadn’t really been a participant in the conversations. His classmates tended to avoid him like the plague, as if they could just sense that he was different and dangerous.

  It all sounded like something crazy, like out of a sci-fi movie but…after having met Nova Inara, Jake wasn’t a skeptic. He couldn’t help but notice that it was an awfully big coincidence that the NeoTech Corporation started making androids and robots around the same time Nova Inara told Jake she was going to New York City in order to prepare for whatever plans she had for humanity.

  The NeoTech Corporation’s sudden advancement in technology and in the knowledge of how to make robots and Nova Inara’s sudden appearance and disappearance from Texas was no coincidence. Of this Jake was sure.

  Just who was his Aunt Val? Really?

  Jake would die to get his hands on one of those Sex Droids he had heard about - except he knew that as soon as he touched one it would probably short-circuit and explode. The personal android computers as well as the Sex Droids were also incredibly expensive. Jake was sure that he’d never get to see one of them in his lifetime.

  All this was flying through Jake’s head as he read the words ‘NeoTech Corp’ on the private jet and his surprise showed on his face. “No way. What is one of the NeoTech Corporation’s private jets doing here in Texas?”

  Some of the NeoTech Corporations androids were supposedly so human looking that one wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if it wasn’t for the antenna that was on the top of every android’s head and that had a small metal ball on the end of it making it look like a radio antenna. A human being could always identify a robot or android because of that antenna.

  Robots were the cheapest personal computers one could buy since they were metal, humanoid, automatons and were easy to recognize as being just robots. The personal computer androids were a living-tissue model that could have passed for human if it wasn’t for the single radio antenna on the top of the android’s head that both robots and androids were required to have by law so that humans could easily recognize a robot from a human. It was illegal to cover a robot or android’s antenna with a hat or other hair accessory.

  A smirk formed on Dr. Valery’s face as she watched Jake gawking at the jet. “I’m CEO of the NeoTech Corporation. Perhaps you’ve heard of us? Anyways, I have an important shareholder’s meeting and so I need to get back to New York A.S.A.P. I’m a busy, independent woman after all!”

  “A private jet plane. Dude, that is so cool.” Dr. Valery grabbed Jake by the back of his Batman t-shirt and dragged him to the plane. He went limp in her grasp so as not to hurt her. CRAPPPP! I’ve been captured! Jake was taken aboard the plane and it took off before he really registered what was happening.

  “Where are we going?” Jake looked out of the window and gulped as the plane began to move forward. He had never been on a plane before and was feeling nervous, okay, scratch that, he was scared out of his mind. Jake swallowed and clenched his hands. His palms were beginning to sweat.

  “New York City.” Dr. Valery declared happily from her seat next to Jake and turned her head to see that Jake was turning white next to her. “Y
ou can hold my hand if you want.” Dr. Valery offered as she reached her hand out towards Jake.

  Jake looked longingly at Dr. Valery’s hand but resisted the temptation. Dang, I wish I could hold her hand…but I’d definitely end up breaking it. Jake settled for gripping his chair arms and smashing them to bits. He turned to look at his aunt, horrified, and thought that Dr. Valery would be mad at him but he was surprised when she just laughed loudly.

  “Wow! You’re quite the strong, growing boy aren’t you?” Dr. Valery teased good-naturedly.

  Jake gave Dr. Valery a sheepish look before keeping his hands nervously folded in his lap. He didn’t want to risk breaking the plane while they were flying thousands of feet up in the air. It took three hours and thirty-five minutes to arrive in New York. Jake had fun looking out the window and admiring the city below. He even got to see a quick glimpse of the Statue of Liberty before the plane passed the city and headed to a more suburban area. They flew over a large stretch of forested land where Jake caught sight of a grandiose mansion. The plan flew past the mansion however and headed towards what Jake saw looked like a private landing strip.

  “We’re going there? To that mansion, I mean?” Jake asked.

  “Yes.” Dr. Valery nodded. “That mansion is my house. It’s also the Headquarters of…well, there will be plenty of time to tell you about that later. Soon it will be your home too, Jake. Mi casa es su casa.”

  Home? Jake thought and felt a pang in his chest as he thought back to his real home - the Lonestar Ranch and his family…his missing family.

  The pilot skillfully landed the jet plane on the private landing strip where a black and silver Mercedes was parked waiting to take them to the mansion. Jake and Dr. Valery got out of the jet plane and Jake watched as a butler got out of the driver’s side of the Mercedes to open the passenger doors for them. Jake noticed that the butler was young. He had always expected a butler to be old like Alfred from Batman. The butler had pale skin, Caucasian features, gray eyes, short black hair and a cap on his head. Jake also felt this cold aura about him. This coldness unnerved Jake. It made him feel like this butler could be capable of anything like stepping on a puppy without flinching. Jake shivered as his cold gray eyes stared back at him for a moment before Jake quickly got into the Mercedes.

  This is crazy. This is like being in some kind of movie. Jake thought to himself. And how did my crazy aunt manage to get this amount of land in the suburbs of New York City!

  Jake looked out the car window as the butler drove them silently to the mansion. Jake watched as they passed through a nice esplanade with tall oak trees on either side. Soon they were driving up a pebbled driveway that lay directly in front of the mansion. As soon as they arrived the butler quickly got out of the car to open the car doors for Jake and Dr. Valery.

  “Er, thanks.” Jake muttered as he quickly followed his aunt up the stairs that led to the front door of the mansion.

  “You’re welcome.” The man said softly in a voice that Dr. Valery probably didn’t hear.

  Dr. Valery laughed. “There’s no need to thank him. He’s an android. His antenna is hidden under his hat.”

  “He’s an android?!” Jake looked back at the butler who removed his hat to show Jake that he indeed had a metal radio antenna on the top of his head. The android then put his hat back on and nodded once to Jake while a small smile played on the butler’s lips. It almost looked like the butler had been amused by Jake’s act of kindness. But…if he was an android could he feel such a thing as amusement?

  “His name is Zee.” Dr. Valery informed him offhandedly. “If you need anything just ask him.”

  Jake’s head was already beginning to hurt and he hadn’t even made it to the front door of the mansion yet. Jake quickly made his way up the stairs and stood next to his aunt. Dr. Valery reached out and grabbed the elaborate doorknocker before knocking twice. Jake eyed the doorknocker and noticed that it was in the shape of a beautiful woman.

  “Welcome home, Dr. Valery.” A synthesized voice rang through the air and Jake’s eyes bulged when he saw that the doorknocker’s lips had moved!

  The door suddenly opened on its own. Unfazed, Dr. Valery only smiled and continued her way inside of the mansion. Jake stumbled after her and nearly ran into Dr. Valery’s back as she suddenly came to a stop. Jake peeked over her shoulder to see what had made her stop and saw that a line of maids and butlers had gathered to greet Dr. Valery.

  “Welcome home, Dr. Valery.” The maids and butlers all greeted simultaneously before bowing at the same time to Dr. Valery. “Welcome home, Jake Lonestar.”

  “Er, howdy ladies.” Jake tipped his hat at the cute maids and because he was so nervous and surprised to have been greeted Jake burst out with the first thing that came to mind. “I’ve been told I have the sexual prowess of a Romulan.” Jake blushed at the cheesy pickup line that had just come out of his mouth and leaned over to whisper something into his aunt’s ear. “Are these people…androids too?”

  A mischievous twinkle formed in Dr. Valery’s eye. “Who knows?”

  Jake looked at the maids and butlers again and noticed that their uniforms either came with a butler’s hat or maid cap so it was impossible to tell if all of these servants were human or not. The maids whether or not they were human or androids though were incredibly hot. They were all wearing black and white frilly and somewhat revealing maid outfits. Jake was sure that this was not normal for high society. Especially when the butlers happened to be shirtless for no apparent reason and wore nothing but, long black pants and bow ties. Yep, there was definitely something very strange about this crazy mansion and he knew that his aunt was responsible for it.

  “We’ve arrived just in time for dinner. I’m starved!” Dr. Valery said as she made her way to the dinning room with Jake still tagging along behind like a puppy-dog.

  “I thought you said you had a meeting to go to?” Jake asked.

  Dr. Valery ignored him and approached the door to the dinning room clapping her hands together. “Open sesame.” The door immediately opened of its own accord and Dr. Valery waltzed inside. Jake stared at the door curiously as he made his way into the dinning room and would have thought that it was magic if it weren’t for the fact that the CEO of the NeoTech Corporation was supposedly some kind of technological genius.

  Well, a perverted technological genius then. Perhaps, being perverted ran in his family? Dr. Valery plopped herself down at the head of the dinning room table and motioned for Jake to sit next to her. He complied and Dr. Valery clapped her hands again. From an adjoining door several servants emerged carrying plates of steaming food, and a bottle of wine made their way over to Dr. Valery and Jake, and set the plates before them and poured the wine into thin-stemmed glasses.

  Jake looked down at the delicious smelling plate of food that had been set down before him and openly drooled. Quail stuffed with fresh figs and prosciutto, served with creamy au gratin potatoes and green beans. It looked like Dr. Valery was into French cuisine.

  “Well, eat up, don’t be shy, nephew.” Dr. Valery said as she began to dig into her own meal.

  Jake nodded and using the silverware as gently as possible began to eat his meal. The food was absolutely heavenly. I could get used to this. Jake thought to himself. But then a sinking feeling settled in his stomach. Why had Dr. Valery really brought him there? He wondered. This was all just too good to be true. And things that were too good to be true usually were.

  Jake decided to speak up about something that had been bothering him and he cleared his throat to get his aunt’s attention. “Hey…about the damage I did to the plane. I’m sorry…” Jake trailed off nervously, with a hand behind his head.

  Dr. Valery arched an eyebrow at Jake. “You’re sorry? Well, it’s not like you did that on purpose, correct?” Dr. Valery gave Jake a penetrating stare.

  Jake looked up, met her gaze, and shook his head vigorously. “Huh? No way…” Jake let out a heavy sigh deci
ding he had better tell his aunt a little about himself in order to avoid future mishaps. “I should probably tell you this. I can’t explain it but when I touch electrical appliances they suddenly act weird, wig out or explode. I know you probably won’t believe me but…it’s true.” Jake grit his teeth. He wondered if his aunt would think he was insane.

  “I believe you, Jake.” Dr. Valery said with a warm, reassuring smile on her face.

  This reaction surprised Jake and he blinked back at his aunt in confusion. “Y-y-you do?” No one had believed anything he said for the past seven years.

  “Why, yes, of course…” Dr. Valery steepled her fingers in front of her on the dining room table and gave Jake an assessing look. “Now, tell me, do you know why you are able to do this?”

  Jake immediately thought about what had happened between him and Nova Inara. He remembered how Nova Inara had said she was going to reward Jake with ‘strength’ and how she had stabbed his chest with her hand and injected him with ‘something’. He shuddered and placed a hand self-consciously over his chest. It had also felt like she had placed something inside of his chest, something heavy. “No…” Jake lied. He didn’t want to end up in a psychiatric hospital again after all.

  “Then…how about we find out. I happen to be a genius inventor, scientist, and a doctor, Jake. Not that I’m trying to brag or anything, but you’re rather lucky to have me for an aunt. If you’re unhappy with your current abilities perhaps I can discover a cure.” Dr. Valery’s eyes twinkled at the prospect of getting to examine Jake Lonestar.

  Jake gave his aunt a surprised look and he seemed to notice that odd twinkle in her eye that made him swallow nervously. Uh oh.

  This is going to be so much fun, but first. Dr. Valery clapped her hands together after Jake finished his dinner and a couple of cute maids entered the dinning room bringing dessert. Dessert consisted of a bowl of strawberries and cream. Dr. Valery picked up one of the strawberries, dipped it into the cream and put it into her mouth and began to suck on the strawberry.

  Jake’s eyes widened when he realized his perverted aunt was trying to shamelessly flirt with him. Dr. Valery ran her tongue over the surface of the strawberry and Jake shuddered. Dr. Valery watched him intently with hooded eyes from behind her oval-shaped glasses. His jeans were beginning to feel a bit too tight. This was so not good. Jake hadn’t been able to jerk off in God knew how long and he was horny and vulnerable. He felt like he might cum just from watching Dr. Valery’s sexy display. Jake gulped as he continued to watch his aunt sucking on the strawberry and watched as she twisted her tongue around the tip of the strawberry teasingly.

  Then Dr. Valery took one of her feet out of her stilettos and began to play footsie with Jake under the table. She ran her foot up Jake’s legs going closer and closer to Jake’s crotch. She was just about to touch Jake’s hard-on when Jake abruptly stood up from the table, his chair falling backwards to the floor.

  “ACK! Just what do you think you’re doing, crazy perverted aunt! I’m outta here.” Jake decided as he turned to go.

  Dr. Valery stood up from her spot at the table and casually walked after Jake as she reached into her cleavage to take something out. “Oh, you’re not going anywhere, Jake.” She said.

  Then Jake felt a prick in his shoulder before the world went black.