Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, The Truth About James, What My Heart Wants

by Sarah Tork

  Perfect.

  I grabbed the Salad. Before making it to the cash register to pay, my eye caught a Twix chocolate bar, all alone in its box.

  I could go for a candy bar today.

  I grabbed it and paid for everything. I didn’t exit the restaurant, instead I halted behind the door and eyed the cafeteria from the window in the door. I quickly spotted the Baseball team and the Soccer team, they were being split up by the shop teacher again. As the Baseball team laughed their way into their seats at their table, Donna took my spot next to James. Latisha sat next to Roy who was trying not to touch sides with her. I couldn’t see Jenna’s table, but I knew Dana was in pain by seeing that.

  She shouldn’t be in pain, she broke up with him. He was free to do what he wanted, even though he wasn’t doing anything.

  I saw James eye the room and the rest of the boys also turning around to take a look.

  Were they looking for me?

  Did I want them to be looking for me?

  Honestly……

  I’m not even going to answer that.

  All of sudden James glanced down at Donna and shook his head. She grabbed his arm, trying to pull him back down next to her, but he gently pulled his arm out of her grasp.

  “She’s a Queen, James.” I whispered, staring at them. “You should be with her.”

  Donna tried again to pull him down, but he stepped out of the bench and took a seat next to Peter who was in deep discussion with Tom. Donna pouted as she glared at the back of James.

  It made me smile.

  “You’re an idiot,” I whispered at the window, also staring at James laughing it up. “But why do I have to love you so much? It makes no sense. I should hate you with everything inside of me.”

  I didn’t want to step out of the safety of the restaurant. If James saw me, then Donna would see me. I wanted no drama today. I had no energy today.

  I was drained of it.

  Maybe tomorrow…..but not today.

  Jenna was probably fuming with me, she’d probably ignore me or yell at me. Hopefully she’d get over the anger and let me explain.

  Hopefully.

  CHAPTER 42

  The lunch ladies were sympathetic to my situation and let me use their exit in the back of the restaurant.

  Thank God!

  I sneaked into the quiet hallway, walking passed small groups of students who’d rather frequent the quiet hallways during lunch time than the busy noise bustling cafeteria. I always wondered why they chose to sit on the dirty floor and eat their lunch there when they could sit on a clean chair and eat on a clean table.

  I knew why now.

  It was private here and it was the perfect place for me to devour my salad without worry of being disturbed. I chose a spot not far from History and plopped down in front of a random locker. My phone beeped as I ate my salad.

  It was either Jenna or James, and with knowing that, I had no desire to look. They could wait. I needed fuel. Fuel for more of James’ excuses and for Jenna’s pointed figure of shame.

  There was a washroom a row of lockers away from where I was sitting. Since the hallway I was in was empty, faint sounds of sniffles echoed from the direction of the washroom. Curious, I ate the last of my salad and headed down the hallway to investigate. The closer I got to the washroom the more the sounds became noticeable as a girl crying and hiccupping. I entered the washroom as quietly as possible, colliding into louder sounds of sniffles. The door shut loudly behind me but the sniffles ceased to dim.

  “Damn it.” Whoever it was hissed. It came from behind the safety of the first stall upon entering. Whoever it was should have taken the one at the far end, there was more privacy.

  I would know.

  “You okay?” I whispered, unsure if what I was doing was right. Maybe I should just mind my own business? Hell, how many people have walked in on me during one of my mini breakdowns and simply used the washroom quickly without as much of a peep to me?

  A lot.

  They all minded their business, and it’s a good thing they did, I would have been embarrassed and gone all silent on them if they had.

  “No.” She sniffed, trying to catch her breath. “Who are you and why do you care anyways?”

  Wow, I should totally mind my own business next time if this is how it’s going to be. Here I was trying to see if this girl was okay and she was being a bitch to me.

  Lesson learned.

  “Whatever.” I murmured, backing into the exit.

  “Wait,” She cried, unlocking the stall. The stall door squeaked open, revealing a girl my height with long dark brown hair that shielded her face. “I’m sorry, I’m not all ‘there’ right now.”

  “Becky?” I said to her as she blinked back at me.

  “Annabelle right?” She asked, placing her hands underneath the automatic faucet. “Didn’t we have like, English, last year together?”

  “It was actually World History, but close enough.” I took a spot next her, pretending to check my reflection in the mirror. “Were you crying?”

  “You heard that huh?” She smirked, bitterly, shaking her head as she focused on the water caressing her hands. “You’d think with all the times I’ve been in this bathroom crying, I’d have learned how to keep to myself more. I’m pathetic.”

  “You’re not.” I told her. “I saw what happened.”

  “Everyone saw what happened.” She murmured, still not looking up. “I’m the joke of the school.”

  “I don’t know about that, but it was definitely news worthy.” I told her, knowing what it felt like. “Everyone’s probably moved on to the next big thing that’s happened here. Don’t you know a fight breaks out here every two seconds?”

  “I hope so.” She hiccupped, wiping smudged black eye liner with a wet paper towel. “I can’t believe he did that.”

  “I can’t either.” I told her. “Same thing, kind of happened to me.”

  “I know, I saw. That was a nasty situation.” She eyed me from the mirror. “But at least he’s chasing you again. And it’s not like he said you weren’t his girlfriend in front of everyone. There’s no coming back from that.”

  “No amount of apologizing will fix it.” I continued.

  “No amount of groveling. He made his choice. I’m never going to look at him after today.” She growled, her nostrils flaring in and out.

  Her phone beeped, but she ignored it. “He had no problem acting like I was his girlfriend last weekend.”

  I snorted, nodding in agreement. “I know what that’s like.”

  She snorted. “He thinks he can play with my emotions, then dismiss me in front of everyone and everything’s going to be okay?”

  “It’s not going to happen.” I concluded.

  “Hell no, it’s not going to happen. I’m done with that fool!” She grabbed a mascara tube from her bag and began applying it, double coating each lash. Her phone beeped again, and this time her hand hesitated midair with the mascara brush. She applied the last coat and turned, leaning against the edge of the sink. “It’s so hard to….”

  I leaned next to her. “I know, I know.”

  She glared at the floor. “You know, I’ve got a nickname too. When it’s just the two of us, he calls me ‘Becks’.

  “At least it’s a normal nickname. Mine, not so much.” I chuckled.

  She gave me a small smile. “Fireball, right?”

  “Yeah.” I answered. “It’s not that cute.”

  Becky exhaled a deep breath. “Why do we keep letting these guys treat us like this?”

  Why did we?

  “I don’t know.” I murmured.

  She let out a light chuckle. “This might shock you, but this isn’t the first time I’ve snuck away to cry.” She pointed to the stall she came out of. “That right there, that’s my spot.”

  I grinned. “It’s a good spot. Mine is in the North East hallway washroom. I got the stall furthest from the door, more privacy.”

  She laughed. “T
hanks.” She told me.

  “For what? I didn’t do anything.” I said.

  “You did. It kind of feels good to know I’m not the only one going through this. We’re going through the same things and it’s nice to talk to about it without feeling like the other person’s going to judge you.” Becky explained.

  “Again, I know what that’s like.” I mentioned, exhaling a deep breath. It was nice speaking with somebody who got it and didn’t judge. If Jenna was here right now, instead of me, she would have gone on, and on, and on, and on about what a mistake Becky made, letting Johnny treat her that way. Which she was right, but who wants to hear sound advice all the time, especially when it’s regarding matters of the heart. The truth isn’t always for the best.

  If that made any sense.

  Jenna would say…..hell no it didn’t make any sense. The truth was always for the best, even if your heart broke because of it.

  I pushed off the sink counter. “I’m heading off.”

  She nodded. “Alright. If you don’t mind, I’m just going to chill in here for a bit, just in case Johnny’s out in the hallway trying to find me so he can ‘explain’ his side of the story. Like I want to hear that.”

  “If you want I can scour the hallway and text you if I see him?” I offered.

  She shook her head. “It’s all good. He’s always on time for his classes. I’ll just leave it to a minute before lunch ends and head off then. We don’t have the same class next. But, give me your number anyways. We should totally hang out.”

  I smiled at her. This was great, even though it was a somewhat sad situation, I’d made a new friend. I should branch out of Jenna’s Swim team group more. There was a whole world waiting for me to show up. After exchanging numbers, I headed out of the washroom, but I wasn’t paying attention since I was smiling to myself about making a new friend, that I bumped into someone. My hands instinctively flew up, landing on a familiar red Soccer jersey/shirt.

  Real Madrid?

  I only knew what it what it was because Charles, my little brother was a huge Soccer/Football fan and his favorite World Cup team was Real Madrid.

  Apparently it was someone else’s favorite team too.

  Johnny.

  Our eyes connected and I froze, my fingers digging into his shirt covered rock like chest for support.

  “Sorry.” He said, holding my shoulders in place. I let go of his shirt slowly, feeling the freeze melt and the shock of seeing him this soon. I guess getting to class on time wasn’t as big of a priority for him as Becky thought. “Is Becky in there?”

  He let go of my shoulders and I contemplated whether or not I should tell him. She said she was done with him.

  I think I’ll save her from his explanation. I’d probably heard a version of it from James already and knew it wouldn’t do Becky any good in actually moving on.

  I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s empty.”

  “Damn it.” He hissed, turning to face Matthew who was staring at me. “I’m going to check the one next to her last class, maybe she’s there.”

  “Bro, didn’t you say she usually uses this one?” Matthew said, still staring at me. Why was he staring at me? Seeing as my work was done, I nodded at both boys and started to walk down the hallway.

  “Wait just a minute,” Matthew called, taking two long steps to block my way. “You aren’t lying to us right now, are you?”

  “No.” I told him, trying not to blink. “It’s empty.”

  “She said it’s empty.” Johnny stressed, sounding agitated. “I’m going to the other washroom. See you in class.”

  Johnny rushed down the hallway to the next washroom. Matthew, with his piercing blue eyes and dark brown hair didn’t move from in front of me. This whole scenario was a major head trip, and that’s because this was the first time in three years that we’ve spoken to one another.

  “Can you like get out of my way?” I told him, trying to move the other way, but he blocked me again.

  “Why are you going out with James?” He asked out of nowhere, eyeing me peculiarly.

  It’s like he was scanning me, assessing me. “What are you talking about? I’m not going out with James.” I told him.

  Matthew snorted. “You are. That’s a shame, because he’s just going to use you again.”

  “Whatever.” I said, feeling myself heat up from anger. “You’re one to talk about ‘loyalty’ aren’t you?”

  “I’m the most loyal person there is.” He scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. Was it me or did his shoulders/chest just puff out an extra inch or two? Was he trying to ‘show’ himself to me?

  That would be a laugh, especially from this guy. I’ve turned off emotions related to Matthew since the start of high school. In fact, we haven’t really spoken since the summer before the ninth grade. “Why are you talking to me anyways?”

  Matthew jerked his chin back, as if that question confused him. “I’ve known you since preschool. Why shouldn’t I be talking to you?”

  I shook my head slowly, it feeling heavy with each turn. “That’s where you’re wrong, you don’t know me, you haven’t known me since the eighth grade. How can you know an ‘invisible’ person?”

  He exhaled through his nose and his jaw clenched. I guess I hit a delicate spot….aweeee…I’m so not sorry!

  “Things changed, I went my way and you went yours, they just happened to be in opposite directions.” Matthew explained. It did little to ease the confusion in me. Where was all ‘this’ coming from? Why was he choosing to communicate with me now?

  I felt a crease in my forehead. “And now?”

  “Now, we’re at a crossroads, about to cross paths for the first time. Maybe it was faith.” Matthew said with a small smile. “I mean, we used to be good friends.”

  “Used to be, being the three operative words. Used to be, as in not anymore.” I snipped back. “Used to be, as in get away from me and leave me alone.”

  He eyed me like venom. “So is this how you treat all your old friends?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Only the shady, asshole ones.” I gave him a snide smile and turned to walk away.

  “You know where he is right now?” Matthew said, taking a giant step to block me again.

  “I don’t care where he is, he’s a single guy, he can do whatever he wants.” I scowled at him. “Get, out, of, my, way!”

  “He’s with Donna.” Matthew shook his head, smirking. “He’s always with Donna.”

  I cringed. “Really? That’s your pick up line. I’d say you need to work on some new material, because this stuff isn’t working.”

  His eyes widened, blocking my way again. “Trust me baby, when I come on to you’ll know it and you won’t be turning back for that piece of garbage James ever again.”

  What the hell?

  Where was this coming from?

  Matthew has literally not spoken to me in three years, now all of a sudden I’m like some….potential conquest for him, an infatuation?

  Screw that!

  “Get out of my way.” I said.

  “You think James was the first guy in this school to notice you?” Matthew said.

  “What are you talking about?” I cringed.

  “You know what I’m talking about.” Matthew said.

  “I don’t even know you.” I said.

  “You’ve had your head down for three years, then all of a sudden that piece of crap shows up and everything changes with you.” Matthew said.

  “What?”

  “Your look, your attitude.” Matthew said, eyeing my whole body.

  “So I lost a little weight, my attitudes always been like this.” I told him.

  He sneered. “Bull.”

  “Why am I even arguing with you?” I exclaimed, walked away, leaving him dumbfound. The old Annabelle, the younger Annabelle…she would have died and gone to heaven if Matthew took the time out of his little stud Soccer group to come and talk to her. Just like we had during junior high, when he’d yet
to sprout out into the man he was today. Back when we were both just regular kids who had a lot in common. Then he went away for the summer before the ninth grade and came back with a new look, a new height, and a whole new group of friends, that didn’t include me.

  Stop thinking about the ninth grade!

  I had to stop thinking about those first few months of high school. I’d begun to gain some weight and it shot my confidence down. I would have been a loner if it wasn’t for Jenna.

  The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I was a little further away from class than I originally thought I was. Not that I wanted to get to class any quicker than I had to. History was going to start in a few minutes and I’d have to come face to face with the angry hurricane that was Jenna.

  CHAPTER 43

  I was last to class. Jenna sat up front next to Tina, a fellow Swim team member. She also avoided eye contact with me. So, yeah, I didn’t even get a hello. I knew she was pissed off from what happened in the cafeteria, but to not even look at me, what the hell was up with that? I was innocent. Class was full, except for one seat in the back. ‘Luckily’ for me, that seat was next to Tom. He waved, smiling big as I crossed the room.

  Yay….

  A few minutes towards the end of class I felt his eyes on me. “Where’d you go?”

  He probably wanted information for James. I stared straight ahead. “Away.”

  “Away?”

  “Yep,” I said as the bell rang. Everyone quickly got up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Jenna, wait!’

  I caught up to her in the hallway. She said something to Tina and stopped. Tina looked past Jenna’s shoulder, raising an eyebrow at me before nodding back to her and walking off.

  What the hell was that? Did she recruit her ‘friends’ to give me attitude too now? She scowled as I stopped in front of her. “What do you want?”

  “I didn’t do anything with him.” I blurted out.

  She gave me a look that screamed ‘Yeah right’ and shook her head. “You know….last night, it took a while to get Dana to calm down. That video really screwed her up. But she’s going to cast Roy out for good now.”

  “I think he’s innocent.” I murmured, unsure why we were talking about Dana and not the thick tension between us. “I saw the video. He practically threw up after the kiss with Latisha.”