Jaded and Tyed

by Penelope Ward

  First Edition, April 2017

  Copyright © 2017 by Penelope Ward

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced nor used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Editor: Elaine York, Allusion Graphics, LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting

  Cover Photo: Deposit Photos

  Cover Design: Letitia Hasser, RBA Designs

  Interior Formatting: Elaine York, Allusion Graphics, LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Epilogue

  Other Books

  About the Author

  For My Peeps

  TYLER

  What the fuck was that?

  Leaning against the bathroom door, I was sweating, trying to make sense of my reaction to a woman I’d never met before.

  One minute, I was out buying beer to take back to my family’s Christmas party. The next, I was losing my words, barely able to speak.

  I don’t react like that to women. They react like that to me. That was how it always worked.

  I wasn’t expecting that—to see her standing there when I got back to my brother’s place.

  Jade. My sister-in-law, Chelsea’s, sister.

  I’d heard about her, knew she was an actress on Broadway. Always thought that was funny, since I was a stage actor, too—albeit on a smaller scale. But I had never met her before, since she lived in New York.

  But now she was here.

  I was quite aware of that. My mind was aware of it. My pulse was aware of it. My dick was certainly aware of it. We were all quite aware.

  I’d made an ass of myself, acted like a blubbering idiot, and fuck if I knew why.

  What was it about her that made me forget my own name; made me clumsy?

  She was gorgeous, yes. But there are plenty of gorgeous women out there. I’d certainly never had that kind of reaction to any of them.

  This wouldn’t have been so messed up if Nicole—my girlfriend—hadn’t been standing right there, witness to it all. It was the epitome of awkward, particularly when I dropped one of the bottles while putting the beer away. The glass had shattered everywhere.

  I cringed, letting out a deep breath as I leaned into the sink.

  Just shake it off.

  There was a knock at the door then my brother’s voice.

  “Dude, what the hell? I need to piss. Someone’s in the other bathroom.”

  I opened and let him in. Damien immediately proceeded to whip his dick out and take a leak while he examined my face.

  “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing.”

  After a long pause, he zipped up his pants. “Bullshit.”

  “Holy shit. How did you not tell me her sister was hot as fuck?”

  “Is that what you’re doing in here? Jerking off?” He squinted, examining my face. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “You didn’t see what just happened out there?”

  “What?”

  “When Chelsea introduced me to Jade, I acted like a fucking idiot, became tongue tied. Nicole was standing right there. It was embarrassing. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me tonight.”

  “So what? You’re attracted to Jade. You made a fool of yourself for some God forsaken reason. That’s what happened. Let it go.”

  “She’s beautiful, yeah. But I don’t really get why she had such an effect on me. I just lost it for a bit.”

  “Your inner teenager came out. It probably doesn’t mean anything. I’m relieved you’re with Nicole, to be honest.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because if you were single, you’d be trying to get into Jade’s pants. I know you. If you ever fucked around with my wife’s sister and ended up breaking her heart, that would kill Chelsea. I’d therefore have to kill you.” He paused. “Where’s this all coming from, anyway? You seem happy with Nicole. You’ve been with her a year. You love her, don’t you?”

  I’ve told her so, yes. But…I just don’t know for sure.

  “Yeah…I think so…I mean…”

  Damien lifted his brow. “You’re hesitating.”

  “We tell each other we love each other, alright? But how do you really know if you love someone? Is there a barometer for that?”

  “I’m not sure this is a conversation we should be having in the bathroom with her right outside.”

  I insisted, “Just answer me. How did you know you loved Chelsea?”

  Without hesitation, he said, “It was when I realized that I would die for her. When someone else becomes more important than your own life, that’s how you know. Coming to that realization was an eye opener.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Would you die for Nicole?” When I seemed to take forever to answer, he shook his head and said, “Wow. You wouldn’t.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because you shouldn’t even have to think about it.”

  Pondering that, I was speechless. That had never occurred to me, but it made a lot of sense.

  Damien opened the door. “I gotta go back out. You’d better follow soon.”

  “Alright. Be right there.”

  By the time I made my way back to the living room, Nicole was sipping eggnog and immersed in a conversation with my mother. She winked at me, seemingly unaffected by my unusually long absence. Relief poured over me that she didn’t seem pissed about my weird behavior earlier.

  Good.

  This is good.

  All seemed right in the world again until my eyes wandered to the other corner of the room. The adrenaline started to build again when my gaze landed on Jade.

  Her big, beautiful eyes. Her cute, little nose. Her long, slender neck. Her legs went on for days; she was almost as tall as me. I shunned away visions of those long legs wrapped around my waist.

  Stop.

  She was so animated—captivating. The light in her eyes was practically blinding. Jade was totally driving the conversation she was having with some friends who’d just arrived. This girl likely owned any room she was ever in.

  At one point, she glanced over and noticed me watching her. My instinct was to look away, but I didn’t. I brazenly kept my eyes on hers; I selfishly wanted those five seconds. Because I knew it was basically all we could ever have. It didn’t mean anything. What I was feeling for her was just some unexplained, instant primal attraction.

  She lived in New York anyway. Not to mention, I was in a committed relationship. And even if those two things didn’t exist, I knew I could never trust myself with Chelsea’s sister. I would inevitably fuck up. She was family. I needed to treat her like I would treat any family member. That meant not fucking with them.

  Or, well…not fucking them. Period.

  I made it through the rest of that evening without making an ass of myself.

  Over the next year, Jade and I wouldn’t cross paths again—until one night when a surprise notification lit up my computer screen.

  JADE

  I was done.

  Completely done with him.

  As if my life hadn’t been stressful enough lately, I found out that unbeknownst to me,
I’d been dating a married man. Not only that, I couldn’t just cut ties with him, because we were costars. I’d have to continue to face him day in and day out.

  Jeremy had sworn that he and Karen were divorcing, that he’d moved out of their apartment. I truly believed him. Then again, he’s an actor, right? So, maybe I should’ve known better.

  Well, tonight, Karen decided to show up after our evening performance to surprise him for their anniversary. Apparently, everyone but me knew they were really still together.

  What a disaster.

  I couldn’t bear to talk to anyone tonight, not even Chelsea, because then I would have had to talk about it. Drowning it all out sounded a heck of a lot better than rehashing everything.

  I poured myself a rum and Coke and sat on the couch just staring into space for a while.

  After an hour or so, I finally calmed down a bit and opened my laptop. I knew exactly where I was headed first. It was like a compulsion that had to be satisfied every time I went on social media.

  Stalking Tyler Hennessey’s Facebook page was my guilty pleasure.

  Ever since that odd exchange between us last Christmas, I couldn’t get my brother-in-law, Damien’s, super hot, younger brother out of my mind. I couldn’t even really admit my slight obsession to Chelsea because a.) Tyler had a girlfriend, and b.) What was the point anyway? We lived on different coasts, and honestly it was better off if we didn’t mess with each other, since our siblings were married. Things would be really awkward if it didn’t work out. And it wouldn’t work out…because we were both actors. I couldn’t think of a worse combination for a relationship: two actors. Case in point, what just happened between Jeremy and me. Actors couldn’t be trusted. For the most part, they were egotistical and very good manipulators.

  But knowing all of that didn’t stop me from wanting a window into Tyler’s world. I didn’t understand it, but looking at him made me feel good. Sadly, it was his girlfriend, Nicole, who posted most of the pictures. She would tag him, and since his profile was set to public, I could see everything, even though we weren’t technically “friends.”

  For some reason, Tyler intrigued me. Maybe it was his adventurous spirit. There were pictures of him and Nicole ziplining in Costa Rica. He was also really sweet with our nephew. Nicole posted a picture of him the other day where he had Little Damien on his shoulders. It made me sad because I didn’t get to see my godson whenever I wanted. Tyler had the liberty to just pop over to Chelsea and Damien’s house in minutes. I envied that because I missed my family so much. I also particularly liked that photo because with Tyler’s hands over his head, you could see his rock-solid abs peeking from under his shirt and the very top of his underwear. God, that was hot. With his dark hair, light eyes, and tanned skin, he was a beautiful man.

  I had every photo of Tyler etched into memory, often going back to my absolute favorites and examining the details.

  Can you see why I couldn’t exactly admit my obsession to anyone? It was my dirty little secret. The fact that no one knew also helped convince me that it was harmless.

  Tonight, I noticed that he’d posted a status about getting the lead role in a new show at the Bay Repertory. He added a new photo of himself and the director. His hair was a getting a little longer. I zoomed in on the photo to get a better look at his blue eyes and beautiful jawline. Tyler had also changed the banner at the top of the page to a promo graphic for the show. When I went to click on the picture to make it bigger, I accidentally hit “Add Friend.”

  My heart started to pound.

  No.

  No

  No!

  I didn’t want to do that!

  Before I could go back to reverse the action, something else happened.

  He’d accepted my request.

  Shit!

  He must have thought that was really random of me. Even though our siblings were married, we had barely ever spoken. To receive a random friend request from me a year after the one time we’d met must have seemed odd—like I’d been thinking about him. Stalking him.

  I know what you’re thinking. Don’t say it.

  I was just about to close down my laptop in shame when a message notification chimed.

  Tyler: Hey, Jade.

  Type something.

  Type.

  Okay…uh…

  Sound casual.

  Jade: Hi.

  Tyler: Long time no see. How are you?

  Jade: I’m well.

  Well, that was a lie.

  Tyler: Good.

  I think the rum and Coke might have been kicking in when I typed the next line.

  Jade: That was a lie.

  Tyler: What?

  Jade: Things are actually pretty sucky.

  Tyler: I’m sorry to hear that. My day sucked, too.

  Jade: I bet I have you beat.

  Tyler: Only one way to find out. What happened to you?

  Jade: I found out I was dating a married man.

  Tyler: Yeah. Okay. You win.

  Jade: LOL.

  Tyler: That is far worse than forgetting to record The Walking Dead.

  Jade: You probably think my friend requesting you is really random. It was actually an accident since the button is so close to the cover photo.

  It took me a minute to realize my mistake. Shit! How could it have been an accident if I was on his page in the first place? Now, I’d made myself look like a stalker.

  (Don’t say it.)

  Tyler: So, you were just on my page lurking, and you accidentally hit the friend request button? LOL.

  Jade: Actually, I was checking your page to see if there were any pictures of Little D that I’d missed.

  I thought that was as decent attempt at a save.

  Tyler: Ah. Thanks for explaining. I’d almost fucked up and admitted that I sometimes check Broadway.com to see what you’re up to, but that would make me look like a stalker if it was one-sided.

  Jade: You do?

  Tyler: Maybe.

  Jade: See anything interesting?

  Tyler: You were at some party wearing a black dress that was held up on the sides by these giant, gold paperclips.

  Jade: LMAO. It was vintage couture.

  Tyler: It was…something. Yeah.

  Jade: What else did you see?

  Tyler: You were standing next to some older-looking dude in glasses.

  Jade: Yes. That’s him. The asshole, Jeremy.

  Tyler: First rule of thumb in our business is never date a costar. They don’t teach you that on the Great White Way?

  Jade: It should be common sense. I guess you’re smarter than me, Tyler.

  Tyler: Not really. I learned the hard way. LOL.

  Jade: Ah, I see.

  Tyler: Yup.

  Jade: Your girlfriend now…she’s not an actress, though, right? Chelsea mentioned she does makeup?

  Tyler: Yes. She’s a freelance makeup artist.

  Jade: Fun.

  Tyler: “Fun.” You really mean that, or you’re just saying it?

  Jade: Actually, that job sounds pretty boring. I wouldn’t have the patience.

  Tyler: That’s what I thought. You don’t have to sugarcoat stuff with me, Jade. We’re family, remember?

  Jade: Oh, yeah. Right. So much so, we’ve never even really had a conversation until now. LOL

  Tyler: It’s not my fault you’ve been stalking my page without so much as a hello. ;-)

  Jade: I wasn’t.

  I totally was.

  Tyler: I’m kidding.

  Jade: Anyway, I’m probably taking up too much of your time.

  Tyler: Not at all. I’m the one who interrupted your lurking with a message, remember?

  Jade: That’s true, I suppose.

  Tyler: Hey, how’s your mother?

  The abrupt change of subject hit me hard. I didn’t even know how to respond. My mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer six months ago. She’d been undergoing chemo in a feeble attempt to contain the disease that had already spread
.

  Living far away during this time had been the most difficult thing I’d ever had to do. But Mom insisted that it would upset her if I left New York to come home to California. She made me promise not to give up this role. But each day, not being there for her was eating away at me more.

  Hot tears were streaming down my face.

  Jade: She’s not doing too well, actually.

  Tyler: God, I’m sorry.

  He must have sensed something when I didn’t respond after a full minute.

  Tyler: I didn’t mean to upset you.

  Jade: It’s okay. I just can’t really talk about it. The only way I’m able to survive this day to day is to pretend it’s not happening.

  Tyler: I can completely relate to that.

  Jade: How so?

  Tyler: The time period right after my father died. I was only eleven. It was easier to try to take my mind off things than to deal with it. Damien started doing graffiti. That was his way of handling it. That was when I first got into acting in middle school. It helped. The thought of losing someone who you love is unbearable, so it’s just easier to block it out. I get it.

  Jade: Sometimes I feel really selfish for being here. My sisters are the ones having to help take care of her while I’m across the country.

  Tyler: Yeah, but like you said, your mother would be upset if you left. You’re doing what she wants. She probably doesn’t want you seeing her suffer, either. Don’t feel guilty about anything. She’s proud of you. She wants you to do your thing. That makes her happy.