I'm Not Alright, but I'm Okay

by Nikolai Bird

know. I know. I know.

  You just had to go

  I'm not glad you went

  But with all those crazy nights

  I'm so glad you came

  When you wake up

  In the dead of night

  Feeling so empty

  And full of fright

  Remember who still loved you

  And if you had

  He just might

  I hope I still haunt your dreams

  The way

  You still do me

  And if it all went

  According to some higher plan

  The dreams would come to life

  And you'd understand

  When you wake up

  In the dead of night

  Feeling so empty

  And so full of fright

  Remember who still loved you

  And if you had again

  He just might

  And you'd understand

  That he never meant

  To make you feel he was letting go

  He just needed time

  And you didn't know

  That all he could ever think about

  Was how he cared for you

  But couldn't let it out

  And how he hoped

  For something more

  Kept holding on and

  Fighting for

  His brain to never win

  Over his heart

  To realize

  That it was all just mistakes

  And it should have never fallen apart

  When you wake up

  In the dead of night

  Feeling so empty

  And full of fright

  Remember who still loved you

  And if you had

  He just might

  When you wake up

  Without me

  Remember that

  You set me free

  Even though

  I did it first

  We kept coming back

  To try to make it work

  But we both closed ourselves off

  From time to time

  So when the other wanted it back

  It was almost too late to try

  So if I'm in

  Your dreams tonight

  Think of this

  And hold your pillow tight

  I'm probably lying here

  With you in mine, too

  Which means

  That it's all true

  When you wake up

  In the dead of night

  Feeling so empty

  And full of fright

  Remember who still loved you

  And if you had

  He just might

  When you wake up

  In the dead of night

  Feeling so empty

  And full of fright

  Remember who still loved you

  And if you had

  He just might

  He just might

  Broken Angel

  You're too far away

  You're too much for me to take

  You torture me

  You take away

  Any peace I prayed to save

  Every time I hear your voice

  Or I even hear your name...

  I go insane

  I feel the same

  Creeping feelings of regret

  And I forget to hold my head high

  I begin to bear the blame

  I give into the temptation

  That contemplation has erased

  Confusion, constant oblation

  For anything more than this serious situation

  That I wish I did not have to face

  You were once

  The angel of my dreams

  I forgot to let myself see

  What you really did to me

  We're broken in different ways

  I'm broken down

  Looking all around

  For any sense of salvation

  I wish you could find the same

  Because in your brain

  You seem to think that it's ok

  To leave someone hurting in such a way

  Breaking hearts, tearing apart

  All inclination

  To move past sentimental sensation

  Broken angel, maybe of my own creation

  We were walking wearily

  Into a snare we could not see

  We almost let ourselves

  Be tied together for life

  And that's not right

  Because the truth about me

  Is I was never anything

  That you really wanted

  With your halo burning bright

  Really an illusion

  If you say so, I just might

  End all of my confusion

  By cursing you by name

  By bursting out of all my seams, all the same

  You were once

  The angel of my dreams

  I forgot to let myself see

  What you really did to me

  We're broken in different ways

  I'm broken down

  Looking all around

  For any sense of salvation

  I wish you could find the same

  Because in your brain

  You seem to think that it's ok

  To leave someone hurting in such a way

  Breaking hearts, tearing apart

  All inclination

  To move past sentimental sensation

  Broken angel, maybe of my own creation

  You really were everything

  I ever wanted

  You were my all, my serenity

  But now right in front of me

  Is the realization

  That there is no meant to be

  There is no pre-planned one to set you free

  And I rushed and put off all chance of patience

  My life, to my disappointment

  Is a life without you

  Nothing more or less will ever do

  I simply cannot avoid it

  I cannot spend another day wasting

  Waiting for a rescue, your invitation

  You were once

  The angel of my dreams

  But no my nightmare become flesh

  I forgot to let myself see

  What you really did to me

  We're broken in different ways

  I'm broken down

  Beaten, defeated, denied, your utmost regret

  Looking all around

  For any sense of salvation

  I wish you could find the same

  Because in your brain

  You seem to think that it's ok

  To leave someone hurting in such a way

  Breaking hearts, tearing apart

  All inclination, all hope, all absence of hesitation

  To move past sentimental sensation

  Broken angel, maybe of my own creation

  My darkest creation

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