Southern Rocker Chick

by Ginger Voight

  I sighed. It seemed like a no-win situation. “I wanna sign it, Mama.” I left out the part about the looming deadline of eight o’clock. I figured that’d just prolong the argument, and it didn’t matter anyway.

  I would take this job, whether for three months or one year or ten. As long as I could provide for myself while doing what I loved most, that was worth anything.

  Before I returned that evening, I had signed my name on the dotted line and prayed the devil would at least let me enjoy it for a while before he came to collect my soul.

  Tony Paul was ecstatic when I showed up for the show that night. Gay had already picked out an outfit for me. It sort of matched Jacinda’s, which was unusually modest. “Do what you did this afternoon,” Gay instructed. “We’ll work on spotlights and choreography once we get a feel of what you can do.”

  I nodded before I went to change backstage.

  It had been four years, but it felt exactly like getting back on a neglected bicycle. I applied my makeup, fixed my hair and then joined the band to wait for our turn to perform. There were two bands before us, and the first had just started to play.

  I noted that Jacinda escaped to the bar for a drink. She hadn’t talked to me that whole afternoon. Maybe she was mad at me for “lying” to her, too. My heart sank. I was clearly on probation with everyone.

  Everyone, that was, except Tony Paul. He plopped next to me in the private booth where we watched the different acts perform behind the privacy of a closed, sheer curtain. He toasted me with his glass of champagne. “Your whole life is about to change now, baby. You’re one of us. And we take care of our own.”

  “So Gay tells me,” I murmured as I nursed a bottle of water.

  He put his arm around my shoulders. “When we get out there, I want you to really belt out the songs.”

  I shook my head. “Your mama told me not to do that.”

  He sneered. “She’s just pissed because you sing circles around her precious Jacinda. She’ll get over it.” He leaned closer. “I want to hear you sing so I can think about what I did to you last night.”

  I shuddered in spite of myself. “Yeah, your mom isn’t overly fond of that either.”

  He chuckled. “She never approved of the girls I dated. No one was ever good enough. They tell me I’ll understand it when I’m a parent, but thankfully we’ll never have to find out.”

  “You don’t want kids?” I asked.

  He held out one hand. “Women, fast cars, money, fame.” He held out the other hand, “Spit-up, all-night crying jags, pooping, eating, sleeping machines I have to put through college.” Acting like a scale, he inched the first hand up higher and the second hand down lower until they were at opposite ends. “Come on, you’re young. You really don’t want to cut your fun short to settle down, do you?”

  I shook my head. Up until just recently, I hadn’t even envisioned myself having sex, much less having children. I assumed I’d work hard and live in a trailer, like my own mother.

  “I knew you were a smart girl,” he murmured as he leaned in for a kiss. He dominated my mouth immediately, which sent all my thoughts askew. “God, you’re so sexy,” he whispered against my lips. “These last ninety days were torture.”

  I had to smile. “You had a lot of help easing the torment,” I pointed out.

  He shook his head. “They were all substitutes of what I really wanted. No matter who came along, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Those eyes. That body.” He kissed my neck near my ear. “Those luscious tits. God, that ass. It was all I could do to keep myself from bending you over and sliding myself right into you.”

  I trembled in spite of myself. I had never had anyone talk dirty to me before. It was unnerving and titillating. “Tony,” I admonished. The minute I put my hand on his chest, my resolve wilted. I remembered how much pleasure he had brought me the night before. Every nerve ending hummed from the mind-blowing orgasms.

  I pulled away slightly. “Proposition.”

  He grinned. “I like it already. Keep going.”

  “We don’t do this at the club.”

  If I didn’t know any better I could have sworn he pouted. “Why?”

  “A lot of reasons. Your mother, for one. Your sister, for two. I don’t think she’s happy about my joining the band.”

  “She’ll get over it,” he clipped.

  “And three, this is business. It deserves a little integrity and self-control.”

  He sighed as he leaned back on the booth. “So how long are you going to make me wait this time?”

  I glanced at my watch. “Five hours?”

  He growled as he leaned closer, but he didn’t kiss me.

  I think I pouted just as much.

  We forgot all about it by the time we hit the stage. It was so good to be back under the lights, in front of a crowd, singing into a microphone, speakers blaring all around me. Why had I left it for so long? Why did I allow that asshole Lucas to take this beautiful dream away from me?

  The first problem that reared its ugly head involved Jacinda’s microphone. It was off, and mine was on. That meant even without trying to, I was violating one of Gay’s new rules. To compensate, I sang softer than I usually did. When Tony Paul would turn around to get me to sing louder, I could only offer a subtle shake of my head. At one point I considered giving Jacinda my mic, but I could hear her struggling even when I bent my head closer to her to sing.

  I wasn’t about to humiliate her or the band.

  So I sang softer. When I’d meet Gaynell’s eyes over the antique piano, she would nod in approval.

  Since she was my boss for the foreseeable future, her approval was the one that mattered.

  It made for an uncomfortable set, though. I was happy when we finally finished. Tony Paul immediately cornered me backstage. “What the fuck were you doing? I could barely hear you.”

  “Your mother doesn’t want me to out-sing Jacinda. That’s one of the terms of my new probation.”

  He rolled his eyes and grabbed my elbow, practically dragging me upstairs to confront his mother. “Mama, you can’t turn off Jacinda’s mic and then expect Lacy not to sing over her.”

  Gay was nonplussed. “I don’t know what your problem is. She did a fine job keeping it equitable.”

  “I could barely hear her,” Tony Paul insisted.

  “I heard her fine,” Gay shot back with a pointed stare.

  They were silent for a moment and then Tony Paul herded me back downstairs. Once the dressing room was empty, he pulled me inside and locked the door. He pulled me into his arms. “God, it was so hot knowing you were on stage with me tonight,” he said as he fit my curves against his body, to prove what he was saying was true. “I wanted to hear you sing so I could think about how you tasted on the tip of my tongue.” He rimmed the outside of my earlobe to make his point. I melted against him. But I knew it was a bad idea to do anything at Southern Nights. I pushed away.

  “Tony Paul.”

  He looked down at me with those intense eyes. “Come home with me tonight.”

  For a second my heart slowed to a stop. “It’s too soon,” I protested weakly.

  “Three months ago was too soon,” he corrected. “If you tell me I have to wait three more months, I just might lose my mind. Don’t you know how crazy you make me? Everything about you,” he crooned as he ground himself against me. I felt how hard he was. It should have scared me silly, given my past history. Instead it woke up something deep within me, a yearning that I wanted – needed to have satisfied. It only confused me more.

  “Tony Paul,” I said again.

  “Come home with me,” he repeated. “Let me show you how good it can be.” He kissed me deep and all resistance began slipping away. I had to pull away before I couldn’t. He kept his fingers locked with mine. “I’m not giving up on you, Lacy. I’m going to ask you every night. And one night, sooner than you think, you’re going to be mine.”

  His lascivious promise titillated me to my core. But d
espite the certainty of his proclamation, he left me alone to change after a slow, tantalizing kiss to show me what I would be missing. I was a hot mess in its wake, fumbling and dropping everything as I rushed to change before he changed his mind and returned. I had just slipped into my clothes when Jacinda found me. She offered me a sip of her beer, but I shook my head.

  I may be on stage, but I refused to succumb to any more of Lucas’s demons. Plus I didn’t want one more strike against me with Gaynell.

  Jacinda’s voice was soft. “Thank you for what you did out there.”

  She could barely look me in the eye. I joined her on the sofa. She was clearly, and understandably, insecure about her singing. She was fully aware she was the odd one out in her talented family. It made me sad for her. “Hey, you know what? I have to learn all these songs anyway. We should rehearse together.”

  Her eyes met mine. “You want to rehearse with me? Why not Tony Paul?”

  I grinned. “Because with you I know we’ll actually get some singing done.”

  She chuckled. “Good point.” She considered it. “I guess we could meet early. Mama usually gets here around noon. It’d give us plenty of time before the guys get here.” The way she said it only confirmed what I already thought; her brothers weren’t as keen about her being in the band as Gaynell was.

  “It’s a deal, then,” I smiled and stuck out my hand to shake on it.

  I had the next few days off, so I confined myself to my room as much as possible. I fiddled and fussed with Cobie as I worked on a new tune, one I could tailor to best suit Jacinda’s vocal weaknesses and strengths. It started more as a vocal exercise, but the more I played around with it, an actual song emerged. I was excited to show it to her that Wednesday during our early rehearsal.

  Despite the early hour and the weekday, there was a lot of activity at Southern Nights when I got there promptly at noon. Custodians were hard at work buffing out the floor, while contractors were finishing the currant renovations to the bathrooms.

  Gay was constantly trying to improve Southern Nights, to keep it on top. She never missed a detail, from a smudge on the bar rail to a chip on the bathroom mirror. She was on top of everything, including her talent.

  I was about to find that out in a big way when she approached me that Wednesday afternoon. “Oh, good. You’re here. Jacinda told me you were going to come in early, so I arranged for one of my favorite stores to bring over some clothing for you to try on.”

  “Thanks, but don’t you think I should really learn these songs?”

  She scoffed. “You know these songs backwards and forwards. I’ve seen you singing them to yourself while you tended bar.”

  I gulped and looked away. She really didn’t miss anything. No doubt she’d chalk that up to one more sign of my “duplicity.” “I thought I could help Jacinda.”

  “Tony Paul is helping Jacinda. We need to redefine your imagine.” She glanced over the top of her glasses at my outfit, which clearly didn’t meet with her approval. Thanks to my job at Southern Nights, I had been able to purchase new clothes, but they were still inexpensive, comfy and practical.

  Clearly Gaynell had other ideas.

  Unlike being dressed by that asshole Doyle Quinlan a gazillion years ago, I knew that Gay wasn’t waiting to maul me in the dressing room. But I still didn’t care for her selection of clothes, which made me look way sluttier than I would have liked. On my fifth veto, she crossed her arms in front of her chest in frustration. “So what do you want to wear, Lacy? A burlap sack?”

  “Something that doesn’t look like a guy could give me an extra fifty dollars and take me home,” I said.

  Her eyebrow arched. “Couldn’t he?”

  I glared at her. “No. They can’t.”

  “Fine,” she relented. She brought in another rack of clothes, this time more family friendly. I selected a floral dress with a sweetheart neckline, along with several flowing blouses I could wear over tank tops and jeans. She picked two maxi dresses, one with a halter neckline and one that was strapless.

  All of the selections were an acceptable mix of flirty innocence, which seemed to satisfy us both.

  Jacinda rolled in around two, which only gave us an hour to ourselves. “Sorry about that,” she said under her breath. “You know Mama. It’s her world. We’re just living in it.”

  I nodded. “It’s okay. It was a productive afternoon anyway.”

  And I didn’t have to look like a cheap prostitute. Score!

  I didn’t have time to introduce my song to Jacinda like I had hoped. We ran through a couple of other songs instead. Though these rehearsals technically were supposed to get me up to speed on their song catalogue, I ended up taking the lead and teaching her the tricks of the trade I had learned a long time ago, so that she could perform better on the songs she already knew. Jacinda was too grateful to be annoyed by the power shift. She surprised herself, tackling a note that had been such a struggle for her.

  “I did it!” she squealed before she threw her arms around me.

  Someone clapped in the audience, a long, slow clap that wasn’t nearly as jubilant as our hug. “Looks like I need to show up for rehearsals early,” Tony Paul drawled as he approached the stage.

  Jacinda immediately stepped back. It was as though she got caught doing something she shouldn’t have been doing. “What are you doing here?”

  He hopped onto the stage. “Mama called. Said you were teaching Lacy songs. She thought, as the leader of the band, I should be here to give you both direction.”

  He looked at me when he said that last part. The intent in his eyes was clear. He grabbed the mic and named a song, which we were forced to sing a capella with his facing us. I felt Jacinda’s spirit shrivel up next to me. Her voice did likewise, and of course I had to amend my performance accordingly.

  Tony Paul grew increasingly frustrated. Even the band’s arrival didn’t help. In fact, in the presence of all her brothers, Jacinda got even more nervous. I had to wonder if my presence there helped or hindered.

  That night her mic was turned off again, so again I had to hold myself back from over-singing her. If I took a step forward to share my microphone with her, she took a step back. She was clearly paralyzed with feelings of her inferiority.

  By the time the set was done and Tony Paul cornered me once again in the dressing room, I was in no mood for his shenanigans. “Why are you so mean to Jacinda?” I demanded as I stepped immediately out of his reach.

  He chuckled before he sauntered over to the love seat, where he landed with a plop. “It’s called tough love, sweetheart. She either rises to the occasion or she quits. Either way, it helps the band as a whole.”

  “It doesn’t help anyone that she’s petrified of failing. She won’t even try.”

  “Why do you think her microphone is never on? Let’s face it, babe. The girl can’t sing.”

  “She can sing,” I insisted. “She just needs a little more help to get to your level.”

  He shook his head and rose to his feet to face me. “I don’t have time to hold her hand. Mama got a call from Carrington Entertainment. They’re interested in seeing what we can do. This is our big break. I’m not going to blow it because of my silly sister, who shouldn’t even be in the band anyway.”

  I slapped his arm. “Shh! She could hear you.”

  “So what?” he asked. “She knows it’s true. She’s there for window dressing only.” He pulled me into his arms. “Speaking of dressing, care to model a few of the outfits Mama picked out for you this afternoon?”

  I grimaced as I pulled away. “Don’t be disgusting. I’m mad at you.”

  He pulled me right back into those powerful arms. “Then come home with me and let me make you happy.” His mouth landed on mine before I could stop it. I felt myself dissolve as his lips opened over mine. I wrenched away.

  “I said stop it!”

  “Fine!” he said. “I’ll stop everything, how about that? Is that what you want? For me to walk out
that door and find some horde of groupies to take home instead?”

  “Go ahead!” I snapped. “Who’s stopping you?”

  He stared at me for a long minute before he uttered, “Who, indeed?” He slammed out of the dressing room and left me alone.

  I was practically in tears when Jacinda found me, and I didn’t even know why. The last thing I needed was to be romanced by some womanizing musician, but more and more I wanted to believe the words that came out of his mouth. I wanted to feel special, to feel wanted… to be loved. But riding shotgun with that was the nagging fear that I’d end up alone, living in some trailer, abandoned by someone who couldn’t put me first.

  Hell, he couldn’t even put me first over his libido. Lord only knew what kind of girls he had picked up on his way out of the club.

  I’d seen him do it dozens of times over the summer. Everyone wanted to be with Tony Paul.

  As it turned out, even me.

  Jacinda sat with me on the couch. “Lovers’ spat?”

  I made a face. “We’re not lovers. At this rate we’re never going to be.” Though I hated myself for asking, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. “Did he leave with anyone?”

  She shrugged as if she didn’t want to say. “I told you. He’s not the one-woman kind. You’re better off without him.”

  I nodded. My head knew that. It was just having a helluva time convincing my heart.

  Her eyes were hopeful as they met mine. “See you tomorrow at noon?”

  I grinned. “Yeah.”

  She smiled before she pranced away to change back into her street clothes.

  I shrugged into mine before I headed out of the club toward my car. My heart stopped when I realized that Tony Paul’s car was right next to mine. Our eyes met and locked as I approached. I was almost afraid to look inside. If he left with anyone and she was there in that car with him, I’d lose my shit.

  But the closer I got, I could see he was alone. I walked to his driver’s side window, which had been rolled down. “I’m surprised you didn’t get some groupie to blow you in the parking lot,” I sneered.

  “I did,” he admitted as he looked me straight in the eye. “I parked right here and unzipped my pants, thinking that you’d find her sucking my cock and see what you were missing.”