by Leah Brooke
Suddenly, she remembered seeing her mother and the evidence of her mistreatment. Another moan escaped, the pain in her side intensifying. “Why?”
Hawke rinsed the cloth again and ran it down her neck to her chest. “That sick bastard thought he could have both of you, and use each of you to intimidate the other. She’s safe now. She wouldn’t go to sleep until she saw that you were all right.”
“Am I?”
“You’re gonna be fine.” Blade slid a hand under her neck, lifting her head, and cursing when she moaned at the sharp pain in her shoulder. “I’m sorry, love. I want you to drink some more water. You in a lot of pain?”
“Pain. Fuzzy.”
Hawke rinsed the cloth out again. “That’s the laudanum. It’s wearing off. We’re gonna need to give you a little more. We need for you to sleep and stop moving around. Will and Doc Stanton sewed you up real good and we don’t want you ripping out their work.”
She didn’t care for the idea of being sewn up, but was thankful that she hadn’t known about it at the time. “Wanna leave.”
Phoenix touched his lips to a spot close to where pain radiated from her thigh. “Just sleep, honey. Eb’s coming out with the buckboard in the morning. We’ll go back to the cabin nice and slow so we don’t rip anything open. We’ll take care of everything.”
The darkness couldn’t be held at bay much longer, and she had to make sure they understood her before it took over again.
“No. Leave. Goin’ to Cal–calforna. Made a mess of everythin’. Don’t blame you for hatin’ me.”
The sudden silence that fell heavily around her spoke volumes.
The pain in her heart grew, a pain no amount of laudanum could take away.
A tear leaked from the corner of each eye, but she knew she didn’t have the energy to brush them away.
She didn’t even have the chance as darkness closed in on her once again.
Chapter Fourteen
Phoenix cursed when Sarah passed out again, lifting his gaze to his brothers’. “So she really planned to give the gold to Willy and then leave us?”
Hawke rinsed the bandanna again and folded it before placing it on her forehead. “She had her bundle, didn’t she?”
“I swear I don’t understand what the hell she was thinking.” Getting to his feet, Phoenix stared down at his wife, fighting back anger. “I’ll never understand women. I thought she was starting to love us.”
Blade sighed and trickled a little more laudanum into her mouth, while Hawke rubbed her throat to get her to swallow it. “She does love us—so much that she was willing to risk her own life to keep us from being hurt.”
Phoenix cursed again, looking toward the fire where the doctor and Sarah’s mother slept. “That’s just crazy. Men like Willy Krenshaw are nothing but hot air and bluster. I can’t believe she didn’t think we could handle him and his gang.” Turning back, he crouched next to her again. “You think she really loves us?”
Blade smiled, bending to touch his lips to Sarah’s. “She does. She doesn’t know how to trust, though. It’s gonna take some time.” Straightening, he sighed. “She loves us. Who the hell would have ever thought the three of us would have such a brave, sweet little thing to call our own?”
Phoenix appreciated his brother’s attempt to lighten the mood. “Don’t forget passionate.”
Hawke stretched out next to her on her uninjured side, taking her hand in his. “Don’t you even think about that for a long time. She’s gonna need time to heal.” Staring down at her, he lifted her hand to his lips. “She doesn’t even seem to notice we’re half-breeds. She doesn’t seem to care. She actually loves us.”
Lifting his gaze to Phoenix’s again, he frowned. “We’re gonna have to be patient until we can get her to trust us.”
Phoenix stared down at her again, his stomach clenching when she shifted restlessly in her sleep and moaned in pain. “I can’t stand to see her hurting like this. It makes me sick to my stomach.” Frustrated that there was nothing around for him to take his anger on, he started pacing.
He paced well into the night, alternately walking the tree line and sitting by her side, staring at her as she slept restlessly between his brothers.
So little, to have made such a big impact on his life in such a short time.
By the time the sun rose and Eb arrived with the buckboard, he no longer felt as if he was falling in love with her.
He knew it for sure.
After settling her into the hammock they’d rigged for her in the back of the buckboard, they started back to the ranch, Phoenix sitting on one side of her while Blade sat on the other.
Eb kept glancing back at Sarah, his jaw clenched. “I can’t believe this happened. I had people watching the cabin. She must have sneaked out. What the hell was she doing, sneaking out like that?” He waved his hand negligently. “I know why she did it. I just don’t know how she got past the men.” Turning to glance at each of them, he shook his head. “We’re gonna have to watch them closer. I swear, if Maggie did something like that, I’d turn her over my knee and she wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.”
Other than asking about Sarah, Hawke hadn’t spoken since they started out.
He did now. “We’ll handle her.”
Phoenix rinsed the bandanna and placed it on her forehead again, trying to contain the fear that threatened to choke him. “If we get the chance. She’s burnin’ up.”
Don’t die, Sarah. Please, honey, don’t die.
She’d filled empty holes inside him, and he hadn’t even realized it until he’d seen her lying lifeless on the ground.
She’d made him better. Made him feel.
If he lost her now, he didn’t know how he’d survive it.
* * * *
The pain woke her, so extreme that she couldn’t even catch her breath.
She was hot—so hot and weighed down, as if a dozen blankets smothered her. She tried to push them away, but couldn’t seem to move them.
Each small movement she made intensified the pain, so she gave up. “Please!”
She couldn’t speak louder than a whisper, but heard what sounded like the scrape of a chair leg.
“It’s okay, honey. I’m here.”
He was here. He would take care of her.
Something touched her lips, and a foul-tasting liquid trickled into her mouth, leaving her no choice but to swallow it.
A cool cloth touched her forehead before darkness overtook her once again.
* * * *
Hawke rushed in with two more buckets of water. “How’s she doing?” He dumped the water into the large tub, his insides clenched with fear.
Blade looked up and dipped the cloth into the bowl full of water at her bedside. “She’s even hotter. We’ve got to get her fever down. She woke up again, crying and in pain. Are you about ready with that water?”
“Yeah.” Hawke dropped the buckets and ran to her side as Phoenix came through the door with two more buckets.
“Duke warmed these up a little so she won’t get too chilled. He’s got more warming.” Phoenix dumped the buckets of water into the tub and hovered as Blade lifted her and carried her to the tub. “We’re not supposed to get her wounds wet.”
Blade lowered her gently into the tub, his eyes wild. “If we don’t get her damned temperature down, she’s gonna die!”
* * * *
Hawke strode into the cabin after dealing with a horse that had gone wild and broken Conal’s leg. It had been five days since Sarah had been shot, and she still had a fever.
He was scared to death.
Ridding himself of his gun belt, he rushed to her side. “How is she?” He let his gaze rake over her naked form stretched out on the new mattress they’d bought for her, pleased to see that no blood leaked through the cloth binding her injuries.
Phoenix rinsed out the bandanna and started wiping her down again. “She woke again a little while ago. She was restless and cried out in pain, so I gave her a li
ttle more of the laudanum. She looks like she’s trying to push something off her.”
Hawke knelt at her side, setting the bowl of soup onto the table next to him. “She’s still feverish, so she’s probably trying to push off blankets that aren’t there.”
Fear for her recovery had kept any of them from sleeping for days, and it had started to take a toll on all of them. “Let me get cleaned up and then we’ll give her another sponge bath.”
They’d dressed her in nothing but her nightgowns for days, but they’d quickly become soaked with sweat, so they hadn’t bothered anymore. “We’ll wash her and change the sheets. The doc said it would make her feel better. When’s he due back?”
Phoenix frowned and wrung the cloth out again. “He’ll be back at the end of the week. Eb and Jeremiah offered him a job here—offered him so much money the doc couldn’t refuse—especially since he wants to have a fully stocked office. He’ll live and work out of the house the mail-order brides were supposed to live in until they can build him his own place.”
Hawke nodded grimly. “Why the hell doesn’t she wake up?”
“Doc says it’s the fever. Once it breaks, she should be fine.”
Hawke understood the desperation in his brother’s voice, and although he knew he and Phoenix were both thinking the same thing, neither one of them dared to voice it.
What if the fever didn’t break? What if it took her?
Phoenix started to rinse the fresh bandanna, bending to touch his forehead to Sarah’s chest. “She doesn’t calm until she hears my voice.”
Hawke nodded, taking Sarah’s warm hand in his, once again shocked at how small and delicate it felt in his. “Blade and I noticed the same thing. If the doctor or one of the women tries to calm her, she just gets more agitated, but if one of us talks to her, she settles.”
Phoenix lifted his head, his eyes bleak. “She really loves us. Christ, Hawke. We let her down. I swear, if she recovers—”
“When she recovers.” The thought of losing her proved more than Hawke could bear. “We won’t let her go. We told her she wasn’t getting away from us. She’s fighting it, and we’ll just have to make sure we give her the strength to keep fighting.” Smiling, he touched his lips to her fingers. “And when she gets better, she’s going to understand, in no uncertain terms, that we’ll do everything in our power to keep her here, and protect her. There won’t be any other incidents like this again.”
He turned at the sound of footsteps on the small front porch, his smile falling when he saw Sarah’s mother coming in with a tray. The unmistakable smell of the soup Duke kept making by the gallon made his stomach rumble.
Edna set the tray on the table. “Why don’t the two of you go eat while I feed Sarah? I want to give her a bath afterward—”
“We’ll take care of it.” Hawke fought back his anger at the woman who’d failed to protect Sarah when she’d needed it most.
Edna approached the bed, taking Sarah’s other hand in hers as she sat gingerly next to her legs. “I know you don’t like me much, but I am her mother. I protected her and took care of her the best I could. I made a living on my back to keep a roof over her head and food in her belly. I might not be the best mother in the world, but I didn’t abandon her as so many of the other girls did with their own babies. I kept her with me.”
Her eyes filled with tears, weakening Hawke’s anger. “I did what I could for her. I tried. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
Phoenix lifted his gaze to Hawke’s, before focusing on Sarah again. “It counts for a lot. I’m just glad we found her when we did. We’ll take care of her now. You should have gone back to Tulsa with the doctor. We’ll pay for your train fare back to Waco.”
Edna laughed humorlessly. “I can’t go back there. Because of the trouble with Willy, Rose fired me.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Maybe I’ll do what Sarah was planning. I could get lost in California—start over.” She eyed each of them, smiling coldly. “But, I ain’t leavin’ until I talk to my daughter.”
* * * *
Sarah lay propped against the headboard of the new bed her husbands had just assembled, watching Phoenix as he eased down on the bed to sit next to her. She tried to wave her hand, but it proved too much effort. “I can’t believe you bought another bed.”
Phoenix smiled, his gaze narrowing as he studied her features. “We wanted you to be comfortable while you healed, and that other bed wasn’t an option. We burned it. You look tired.”
“I’m fine. How’s your shoulder?”
Phoenix lifted his arm, rotating it. “Fine. Doesn’t even hurt. Now, lie back and go to sleep. You need to get your strength back.”
It had been three weeks since she’d been shot, and it frustrated her that she didn’t have any more energy than a newborn kitten.
Standing at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest, Blade looked every inch a warrior. “Yes. We have a few things to discuss about that little stunt you pulled.”
Sarah wiggled restlessly, wincing at the pull to her side and thigh. “You’ve made your opinion of that real clear.”
Blade’s brow went up in that way that made her stomach flutter. “Have I?”
“You have.” Sarah shrugged and closed her eyes again. “You said it was stupid, but I don’t see it that way. I thought if I could give Willy the gold, he would leave and stop causing trouble.” She opened her eyes when Phoenix stood, flicking her gaze to Blade’s again.
His smile didn’t reach his eyes, the remembered horror in them making her feel guilty as hell. “And we all know how that worked out.”
* * * *
“Lily—”
“I thought we’d agreed that you would call me Mother now.” Smiling faintly, she pushed her hair back. “Your men refuse to even call me Lily. They call me Edna. Feels strange to be called by my real name.” Shaking her head, she blew out a breath. “But I want you to call me Mother.”
Sarah smiled. “Mother, I want you to take the gold I took from Willy and use it to get to California.”
Shaking her head, her mother rose from the bed. “No. It’s better that you have it. I don’t want you to be stuck the way I was. I want you to be able to get away if you need to.”
“She won’t need to.” Hawke came through the doorway, frowning as he approached the foot of the bed. “Sarah stays where she is.”
A shiver of delight went through Sarah at her husband’s tone, the possessiveness in his eyes sending a rush of warmth through her that had nothing to do with a fever. “Oh, does she?”
He couldn’t exactly be thought of as handsome. His features were too hard for that, but no one could deny his masculinity.
Fluttering her eyelashes in the way she’d seen her mother and the other girls do a thousand times, she struggled to hold back a laugh when his eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Are you going to make it worth my while?”
Hawke recovered quickly, a dark brow going up. “Let’s put it this way. If you try running away again, or go anywhere without telling one of us, you’re gonna find yourself in all kinds of trouble.”
Sarah’s mother whirled to confront him, backing off slightly when he took a step toward her. “If you hurt her, I’ll—”
Hawke scowled at her before turning his attention back to Sarah, his lips twitching when his gaze met hers. “I’d cut my hands off before I hurt her and she knows it. That’s why she’s taunting me now.” He smiled faintly, and moved to her side, lifting the sheet and the edges of her nightgown to check her healing injuries, eyeing them critically before lowering the sheet again. “Behave yourself. I’ll be back in a little while.”
Meeting her mother’s gaze, Hawke straightened. “Take the gold. Sarah has the reward money from Willy and his gang.”
“What?” Sarah gaped at him. “Reward money? I didn’t do anything.” She hadn’t expected that. “You take it.”
Hawke shrugged. “You drew him here.” Lifting a hand when she would have objected, he sh
ook his head. “Everyone involved agrees that you deserve it. It’s yours to use as you wish.”
Pausing at the doorway, he turned. “Unless, of course, you use it to try to run away again.” He glanced at her mother, some unspoken message passing between them. “We won’t let you go, Sarah, unless you’re unhappy here. Are you?”
Anxious to get better so she could make love with him again, she grinned. “How can I be unhappy when I’m with the men I love?”
His smile, a flash of white against his dark skin, made her stomach flutter and her pussy clench with need. “You can’t be. You won’t be. Behave yourself. I won’t be long.”
She knew by the look in his eyes that if they’d been alone and she’d been healed, he would already be making love to her.
Shifting her legs restlessly, she pressed her thighs together at the ache that settled there.
It amazed her that she’d become so dependent on the closeness that lovemaking enhanced between them, and missed it terribly.
Once Hawke disappeared, her mother turned to her, a smile curving her lips. “That man sure does love you. Blade and Phoenix too. You should have seen them take care of you. Hell, they even argued with the doctor. I didn’t know men were capable of such gentleness.” Smiling, she moved closer. “You love them, don’t you?”
“I do.” Laughing softly, she winced at the slight pain in her side. “I didn’t think anyone would ever fall in love with me.”
“Because you were raised in a bordello?” Her mother shrugged. “Men want to have sex with whores, but they certainly don’t want to marry them. I guess you would have been painted with the same brush.” Picking at a thread on her dress, she looked up at Sarah through her lashes. “I heard what happened with Willy back in Waco. I’m sorry for it. If I’d known what he planned to do, I would have found a way to get you out of there.”
She smiled, her eyes gleaming with pride. “You did it yourself even better. Stole his gold and lit out of town before he even suspected. I’m real proud of you. On top of that, you run straight into the arms of men like that. I’m happy as hell that you managed to find men who love you the way those three do.”
