by Ruby Rowe
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Sailor
“I’m pretty sure he broke some shit,” Jake says at the bottom of the staircase. He walks over to the couch and sits next to me. “I think he destroyed his lamp. It sounded like glass shattering up there.”
“What should we do?”
“Give him space. He’s angry, and seeing you is only going to remind him of all he has to lose.”
“That’s sad.”
“It’s reality.”
“No, Dr. Miller seemed positive about his recovery.”
“Yeah, but Elliott deals with sickness and death every day. He has a clear vision of what to expect from his illness. We also can’t forget that he’s a glass half-empty kind of guy.”
“It’s going to be a rough road, but I know he can beat this.”
“He needs time to cool off and accept the news. Then, I believe he’ll fight like hell. It may seem like the worst time to be having a baby, but I think it’s the best. It gives Elliott a monumental reason not to give up.”
“What if the baby’s yours and it sets him back?”
“It’s his.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” He grins. “You think it’s a girl, so it has to be his.”
“I’ve always loved how you’re able to find humor in the darkest of times. It makes me feel safe and have hope.”
Pulling me against his side, he kisses my head.
“I’ll always keep you safe.”
“Maybe I should stay here with Elliott instead of going to Maddie’s party this weekend.”
“Mads will be disappointed, and Elliott probably won’t let you, but I’ll understand if you need to stay home.”
“We’ll see. I was looking forward to taking her to the museum and celebrating her birthday. Someone else’s birthday will be rolling around soon. You’re going to be almost vintage.”
“What, woman? Twenty-nine isn’t vintage, and neither is thirty.” Jake grabs my waist and tickles me until I change from squawking like a bird to holding my breath.
I’m on my back now as he covers my body with his and captures my mouth. I have to pull away to steal a breath before I can kiss him back.
Mmm … Jake’s moving his tongue sensually, sliding it along mine like butter on warm pancakes. He’s growing hard against my leg, and I feel a tingling between mine. He pushes between them, and I want to get lost in desire, but I think of Elliott, and it feels wrong. I nudge Jake’s chest to come up for air.
“We can’t.”
“Let’s go to my room.”
“I’ll feel guilty messing around after the news we received today.” Grimacing, he sits up and adjusts his jeans.
“We can’t stop living because of this.”
“I know, but we just found out, and what if he comes looking for us to talk?”
“Sailor, he’s furious. He’s not going to want to talk tonight.”
The doorbell rings... “I wonder who that is.” I say.
“I don’t know. I’ll go see.” He gets up and strides to the door. “Nicole, hi.”
“Hi. Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
I straighten my hair and clothes as she strolls inside, looking beautiful as ever with her glistening blond hair and legs that never end. Jake and I probably look like we’ve been fooling around.
“I’m sorry to drop by, but Elliott wouldn’t answer his phone, and I knew he was getting his test results today.”
“Yeah, he’s holed up in his room, refusing to talk to us,” Jake says. “I even heard him breaking shit.”
She winces. “That means he got bad news.”
“The tumor’s malignant,” I say. “Some of his lymph nodes may be, as well, but he doesn’t have cancer anywhere besides his lungs, so that’s promising.”
“What’s his treatment plan?” She sits down in the chair as if she needs to brace herself for the news.
“He’s having the right upper lobe of his lung removed and possibly chemo afterward.”
“Will that get rid of all the cancer?”
“They can’t guarantee he’ll get better, and whatever you do, don’t ask Elliott that. He’ll bite your head off.”
“Yes, I remember how he gets when he doesn’t want to talk about something.”
It bugs me that Nicole understands this side of him when I don’t. I’ve only been a guest to this Elliott show a few times. The young Elliott was kind, and the Elliott I’ve known since last fall has been even sweeter.
I shouldn’t do what I’m considering, but I want to see if she can get through to him in a way I can’t. Elliott needs to eat, too. He can’t afford to lose more weight.
“Would you mind trying to talk to him?” I ask. I glance to Jake, and he raises his eyebrows.
“Um, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Nicole replies. “If he’s angry, he’ll throw me out like he used to.”
“I don’t think he will, and I’m desperate to get him to eat. He hasn’t consumed anything since breakfast, and he needs to take his medication.”
“Are you sure?” She scrunches her forehead and nose. A cute forehead and nose. I don’t think there’s an unattractive body part on this woman.
“Yes, maybe you could get through to him. Tell him Jake cooked his favorite cheeseburgers.” Laying her purse in the chair, Nicole takes off her coat.
Yep, there’s not an unattractive part anywhere the eyes can see. I’m going to imagine there are some pockets of cellulite beneath those tight grey skinny jeans.
“OK, if you’re sure.”
After I give her what has become my signature tight-lipped smile, she leaves us alone.
“What are you doing?” Jake asks.
“You heard what I said. He needs to eat.”
“You’re going to be upset if he listens to her. Are you trying to torture yourself?”
“It’s imperative that he eats and takes his medication. If she can make that happen, it’s worth it.”
“That’s not all this is about, and you know it, but I’ll leave it alone for now. Today’s been complicated enough.”
Elliott
“Alexa, am I going to die?” I ask from my bed.
“I’m not able to give medical advice.”
“Right, you’re not a doctor, so I respect that; however, we’re all going to fucking die. Well, you’re not. You and your creepy companions from Zon will someday rule the word.”
Someone knocks on the door, and I groan.
“I said I don’t want to talk, and I’m a grown-ass man who will eat when I’m ready.”
“Elliott, it’s Nicole.”
I shoot up in bed. What is she doing here?
“Come in.” Nicole peeks inside, likely checking to ensure it’s me and not the monster within, transforming my face into some disfigured, scary creature.
She finally walks in and leaves the door barely cracked open. “Does Sailor know you’re here?”
“Yeah, she’s the one who asked me to talk to you. I stopped by since you wouldn’t answer my calls or text messages. I was worried about you and what you heard at your doctor’s appointment.”
“Sorry. I haven’t been in the mood to talk.” Moving to the side of the bed, I mess with my hair and adjust my grey sweats.
“Jake and Sailor aren’t out of line, you know. They’re worrying like anyone else who loves someone battling an illness. I’m worried, too.”
“I know, but I feel all this pressure from them to fight this when I only found out hours ago. What if I can’t beat it? The whole situation makes me feel weak, and them coddling me isn’t helping any.”
She strolls over and sits next to me. “You’re right. You deserve some space to process what’s happening and to feel angry about it. It’s a huge negative change in your life.”
She looks around my room. “I don’t believe I would’ve chosen to break a lamp, but I get why you’d be furious. It’s not fair. For that reason, I’m going to leave
. I’ll tell Sailor and Jake that you’ll eat when you’re ready.”
She starts to get up, but I grab her arm. “Don’t go. You’re the first person to understand.”
“Yeah, but I also haven’t been living with you for years like Jake has, and I’m not carrying your baby like Sailor. They need to give you space and time, but you still need to show them respect, meaning don’t be mean to them.”
I shake my head. “You’ve never been afraid to put me in my place. I’m surprised you tolerated my shit for as long as you did.”
“Love does that. It can make a person blind to their self-worth, along with the truth that’s been right in front of them since day one.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize again.”
“I feel like I do. Maybe this cancer is my punishment for all the shit I’ve done wrong. My dad repeatedly told me I’d be a fuckup my whole life.”
“You’re not a fuckup.”
I unleash my pain through a sob that’s been building for weeks, held at bay only by the anger that gives a false appearance of a strength I don’t possess–a fight I’m not sure I have in me. I fear this cancer more than I feared my father. For that reason, I’m struggling to find hope.
Nicole pulls me to her chest and strokes my hair. I’m selfish, accepting her affection and concern, but it’s because I’m weak, both physically and mentally. Jake and Sailor need more from me today, and I don’t have it in me to give.
“Nicole, I’m scared. I ran Jake and Sailor out of the oncologist’s office because I didn’t want them to know the truth; this surgery is risky, and on top of it, the cancer could return. I may not be able to battle it forever.”
Sailor
Crouching in front of me outside of Elliott’s room, Jake looks into my eyes.
“Come on. Hearing this isn’t good for you.” He grasps my arm, but I jerk free.
“She said love causes us to be blind to the truth. Maybe I’ve been blind for thinking he didn’t love her. Maybe he’s been blind, too.” My lip quivers as I lean my head back against the wall. Realizing I’m not going anywhere, Jake sits next to me.
“I don’t know how he feels about her, but what I do know is he’ll always love you.” He clutches my knee. “And I’m never going anywhere. I’ll love you until I take my last breath. I promise.”
Hearing Elliott cry harder, I squeeze my eyes shut. I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but suspicion and doubt led me straight up the stairs, and now I’m hanging on to every word I hear.
“We need to go,” Jake says.
Coughing twice, Elliott’s cries subside. All four of us sit in silence, and my mind races with questions. Is he staring into her eyes? Is he holding her hand? Does he wish he could kiss her?
“Elliott,” Nicole says, “I’m so sorry, but I have to go. I think love’s blinding me from the truth a second time, and my heart can’t take being broken twice.”
“Shit,” Jake mumbles. “Come on.” Jumping to his feet, he grabs my hands to pull me up. We take the stairs as quietly as we can and go straight into his bedroom.
After shutting the door, he hugs me, and his muscular arms and warm chest remind me I’m safe and loved. “I’ve got you,” he whispers in my ear, “and I won’t ever let go.”
“Even if Payton’s his?”
“I’ll love her because she’s a part of you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Jake
“Sailor’s been spending a lot of time in your room,” Elliott says as he sits on the couch. “I told her the other day I was sorry for being hateful, but she’s barely looked me in the eyes since.”
I’ve been on the fence about telling him what we heard between him and Nicole. It wasn’t our place to eavesdrop, but it seems wise that we did. We realized Elliott needs our patience. We were also warned that trouble could be brewing.
I look toward the hallway to ensure Sailor won’t hear. She’s getting ready for our outing with my niece. It’s one of the many we gave her for Christmas. We’re also celebrating Maddie’s birthday at my parents’ home afterward.
“I know Sailor insisted you stay in touch with Nicole, but it’s not good for her or Sailor. You’re in control of stopping it, and you need to do it if you don’t want it causing problems in your relationship with Sailor.”
“Did she say something? Because Sailor’s the one who sent Nicole to my room.”
I grip the back of my neck. “Elliott, stop acting naïve. I know I’ve had little experience with relationships, but I’ve been around women enough to know that confiding in your ex-girlfriend will only cause your current girlfriend to suspect your relationship with her is in trouble. She’ll also worry you’re cheating.”
“I’m not.”
“Maybe not physically, but dude, do you still have feelings for Nicole?”
He drags his hands down his face. “I don’t know. I’m confused. Maybe I do a little, or maybe I only want to be near her because she gets what I’m going through. Whatever the reason, I feel like I need her in my life right now.”
“Fuck, Elliott. Sailor loves you, and we’re finally in a good place with our unique relationship. I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but you need to figure this shit out and fast.”
Sailor strolls into the room, and she looks sexy today in snug jeans and an even tighter teal sweater. It’s noticeable her tits are growing, and I can’t say I mind.
“I’m ready,” she says, putting in an earring. She looks at Elliott. “Don’t hesitate to call us if there’s a problem.”
“I’ll be fine, especially since my mom’s coming over. I imagine she’ll stay a while once she hears I’m sick. She’ll probably turn into Kitty Forman from That 70’s Show and want to bake me cookies and do my laundry or some shit.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Sailor says. “Oh, crap. I almost forgot Maddie’s gift in the spare room. I’ll go grab it.” She heads for the stairs, and I look at Elliott.
“Is it just me, or has she managed to become even more gorgeous?”
“Her body’s changing because of the baby.”
“Exactly. She’s pregnant. I know Nicole’s beautiful on the inside and out, too, but she’s not the one carrying your child or the one who did it alone the last time. Remember that.”
“I don’t need you guilting me. I’m fully aware of how amazing Sailor is and all that she has sacrificed and gone through for me. I don’t plan on screwing up our relationship.”
“Say you won’t, bro. Say you won’t mess it up.”
“OK, I’m ready this time.” Sailor trots down the last few steps of the staircase and gives Elliott a kiss. “Call if you need us. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Have fun.”
Elliott
I’m watching ESPN when Sailor and Jake enter the condo.
“Hi,” Sailor says. “How are you feeling?”
“Peachy as always. Boredom might kill me before cancer gets a chance.”
“I brought home cake. I wish you’d gone. Jeanine and Carson were actually nice to me.”
“If I had, they wouldn’t have been nice to either one of us.”
“I see you’re still grumpy, but maybe some sugar will help. I’ll go cut you a piece of cake.”
“Hey, man,” I say to Jake as he sits in a chair and yawns. “How was the outing and birthday party?”
“Good. I’m tired, though. Maddie never stops moving.”
“She was extra hyper today,” Sailor yells from the kitchen. She strolls out soon, and after handing me a plate, she sits next to me. “I guess since it was her birthday, and she knew she was getting a party afterward, she couldn’t contain her excitement.”
“She wore me out, so I’m taking a nap,” Jake says as he stretches and walks over to give Sailor a kiss. “Wake me up in a couple of hours, and I’ll go grab us some dinner. I love you.” He ruffles my hair. “I even love you, Grumpy.”
“No, asshole. Get off me.”
I jerk away, and Sailor and Jake laugh as he leaves the room. “I’m tired, too, which is stupid since I haven’t done anything for weeks.”
“I bet you miss work.”
“Yeah, I do, and I was so close to finishing my residency. It sucks.”
“Yes, but you will–I mean, I hope you will. If you get well, I’m sure you’ll have the opportunity to finish it and continue your career as a doctor.”
My sweet girl. Sailor’s watching her words so she doesn’t set me off, but she shouldn’t have to. She caught on that I don’t want to pretend. I’m working on being more positive, though. I’m trying…
“Damn, this cake rocks. Do you want to come upstairs with me? You can tell me all about the boring-ass museum you visited, and that way, I’ll get my much-needed nap.” I grin at her, and she pushes my shoulder.
“I don’t tell boring stories. Be nice, or I’ll eat the rest of your cake.”
Grabbing a fork full, I hold it up to her mouth.
“I’m the sharing type … obviously.”
She rolls her eyes. “I think you’re looking for trouble.”
“Maybe a little. Unfortunately, my body is betraying me, and I’m wondering if a little is even possible.”
“There’s only one way to find out.” Suggestively, Sailor drags the cake off the fork with her tantalizing lips.
“If you’re doing all the work, I’m in.”
Giggling, she gets up and takes my hand.
“If you’re going to surrender control for once, I’m in.”
Sailor
As I suck Elliott’s cock, he fingers my hair, and I like it. I tilt my eyes up to look at him, and his are closed while he breathes harshly through his nose.
For the first time, he’s letting go, enjoying what I’m giving, instead of trying to control my every move, which would consist of him pulling my hair and using it to control how deep he buries his dick in my throat.
Not this time. He’s taking whatever I give him, so I do my best to make it memorable. We need to reconnect. I have to know if he’s still hanging in there with Jake and me or if he’s thinking about leaving us for another certain someone.
