Blackout: A Romance Anthology

by Stephanie St. Klaire

  “It’s okay. Really, as long as you don’t tell me there was somebody else, it will be okay. If there was someone else, then maybe keep it to yourself because they’ll be another dick on a rope in this elevator.”

  She knows me better than that, but I still make it clear. “Never, Rachel. There was never anyone else. It was always. Only. You. Please tell me you haven’t thought there could have been someone else all these years?”

  She reaches and cups my face for the briefest of moments before taking my hand again.

  “Fuck, Rachel. I don’t really know how to say this.”

  “Just say it.”

  “Okay. So, remember senior year when you and the girls went to Portland for your little spa weekend before graduation?”

  “Uh, yeah. Why?” she questions not sure what this could have to do with anything.

  “Well, me and the guys went out to The Jumps and ended up having a bonfire with most of the guys from the senior class.”

  “Right, I heard all about the stupid hijinks that went on that weekend. What does that weekend have to do with you breaking up with me months later?”

  “I’m getting there. I’m probably going about this all wrong, bear with me.”

  Her face softens and she nods. My anxiety over retelling these events is clearly evident by the look of understanding in her eyes.

  “I’m not sure if it was because you and the other girls, who are clearly the brains of our little group, weren’t there or we were just boys being boys, but we drank way too much and on the way home we got pulled over. Rach, I was driving and there is no way I should have been. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  Rachel is a woman full of piss and vinegar and I know it’s hard for her to stay quiet and give me her opinion, but she resists and lets me tell my story.

  “Officer Keppel pulled us over and, Mouse, there was no need to give me a sobriety test. I was blato. Luckily, he called my dad. Dad came and picked us up and took us home. He chewed my ass and then said we were never going to discuss it again. That was it. I knew how lucky I was that nobody got hurt and I vowed I would never be that stupid again.”

  “Is this why you don’t drink anymore?” she cuts in.

  “You could say that.”

  “I always wondered why the sudden change. Makes sense now. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. Go ahead.”

  “So, that night came and went, and I didn’t necessarily forget about it, but I certainly was surprised when it came back to change my life forever.”

  Her head tilts to the side, her confusion illustrated with the deepening of the crease in her forehead. I swear she hasn’t changed at all.

  “Life was great, so good I couldn’t think of how it could get better. The Crew was having the best summer on record, you and I had just given ourselves to each other and we were about to head to North Carolina, just the two of us, to start our next chapter. I had life by the balls. Then a five-minute conversation changed my life and yours.”

  Fuck, this is gonna suck.

  “I was in the garage working on Dad’s Mustang when I heard your dad calling my name in the driveway. My dad being the chief of police, your dad being the mayor, it wasn’t that odd to see him there, but I couldn’t figure out why he might be looking for me. We exchanged pleasantries, shook hands and without skipping a beat his demeanor changed. He leaned in close and I swear Rach, he sounded like a different person. He wanted to know who the hell I thought I was to take his daughter’s innocence.”

  She gasps and puts her hands over her mouth in her horror.

  “He said if I ever touched you again my dad’s career was over.”

  “I’m sorry, he said what?”

  “He pulled out a folder from under his arm and showed the dispatch call from the night I got pulled over. He said he had proof that the chief of police had gotten his kid out of a DUI and abused his powers. Then he flipped the page and there were pictures of my dad and Jensen Taylor. You know the guy everyone got their weed from.” She nods her head desperate for me to keep going. “He said that he had proof that dad was buying weed for Kayla. I had no idea what he was talking about but I did ask my dad about it later and it was true. Apparently, it helped with her pain. Anyway, your dad said if I didn’t end things with you and remove myself from your life, he would ruin my dad’s career. He kindly reminded me that by taking my dad’s job it would also take away our insurance and my parents’ ability to take care of Kayla. He made some comment about my father’s love for his children might be his undoing and his love for his daughter would make sure the likes of me never touched her again.”

  “Please tell me you’re lying, Reece? Please?”

  Tears flow down her cheeks in desolation and I know whatever affection she still had for her father is more than likely gone.

  Still holding one of her hands I use my other to wipe the tears from her cheeks and catch the one hanging off her chin with my index finger before it gets the chance to fall.

  “I wish I was lying, Mouse. I was young. I was scared. All I could think of was losing my sister and the humiliation the family would endure over my dad losing his job in such a scandalous way. Now, I can see that getting his son out of a DUI and getting his sick daughter marijuana wasn’t really all that scandalous, but I was eighteen. He was the mayor. He knew we had sex. I didn’t feel I had any other choice.”

  “Reece, I am so sorry.”

  “Rachel, you didn’t do anything. It’s not your fault. I mean I always knew you were close with your dad, but I was a little surprised you told him we had sex.”

  “But I didn’t. I would never share that with him. When you broke up with me, I hadn’t told anyone. I swear, Reece. I didn’t tell him.”

  “But he knew everything, Rach. He said if he had his way, he would burn down the field at The Jumps and that from here on out Justin Timberlake was forbidden to be played in his home. I swear to God it was like he was there.”

  Up on her feet, she walks to the farthest corner of the elevator pressing her forehead against the cool glass. I give her space to process what I’ve told her but after touching her again, I can’t stay down here on the floor with her so close.

  After a minute that feels like an hour, I find my way to her in the dark. The pink glow around her neck leading me to her but I don’t need the glow light. Strip me of sight and sound and I could always find this woman. Even after all of these years, there’s a chemistry between us not even she could ignore for the last twelve years.

  Stepping up behind her, I do something I didn’t think I would ever get to do again. Pressing my front to her back I wrap my arms around her, and she melts into me wrapping her arms around mine in front of her.

  “I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to know, but after all these years and with our predicament it seemed like it might be time. You deserved to know.”

  She’s quiet but doesn’t break our contact. Looking out into the darkness she seems to be at a loss for words. I knew this would hurt her, but now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have spoken up after all.

  I really wish she would turn around. I don’t want her to see anything like I did earlier when I watched a man lose his fingers trying to get out of his elevator. The elevator was full of people with their phones acting as flashlights and three of them were trying to pull open the doors. They started to open, but when they lost their hold and the doors slammed shut, his fingers were ripped right off.

  I don’t move her away from the view into the hotel, because I still don’t know what she’s thinking and I don’t want to try to control her when her dad clearly controlled more of her life than she ever knew. Does she realize now that I never stopped loving her? She may have been my first love, but she was also my true love. She’s acted like she hated me all these years, but it was self-preservation. Deep down I’ve always known that, but it hasn’t made it any easier.

  I wish I knew what was going through that brain of hers but if quiet is what she needs. Quiet is wha
t she’ll get. Holding each other, our bodies are moving together in an almost undetectable rhythm. I’ll stand here in silence all night long as long as she’s in my arms.

  Her breath hitches and our rhythm stops. Her hands fly to her face leaving my arms missing her touch instantly. “My journal.” Her hands are back to my arms, but she leans forward just enough for her forehead to press against the glass again. “He read my journal, Reece.”

  Bastard.

  “I’m sorry, Rachel.”

  “He just keeps finding ways to hurt me. He not only invaded my privacy, but he used what he found to hurt me.”

  “He probably thought he was doing what was best for you,” I say even though I don’t believe it. I’ve always heard that dads were protective of their little girls and I figured learning I had taken his baby girl’s virginity must have been too much. There was also the fact that my mother was Mexican. I’ve always thought the idea that there was even a chance his precious blonde beauty could get knocked up by a half Mexican kid must have enraged him.

  I had always thought he treated me differently than the other guys in The Crew. He was never obvious about it and most people probably wouldn’t even notice, but when it’s directed at you, you tend to notice. Especially, when you’re dating his daughter. I had heard that our sweet little mayor was actually a racist asshole, but I had never experienced it myself. I always wondered.

  “Bullshit!” She busts out of my arms and I wish I hadn’t said a word. I just want her pressed against my body, where she belongs, not standing a few feet away from me fuming. “He didn’t give a shit about me. All he cared about was power and finding as many ways to use it for good, for bad, for fun. All he cared about was himself.” She jostles my blazer off her shoulders and lets it fall to the ground.

  She’s doing what she does. Getting fired up. As much as I love her feisty side, I was enjoying the quiet. At the moment she’s all wound up and if I’m correct, I believe I just heard her stomp her bare foot on the elevator floor. Yep, she’s having a tantrum.

  Taking a step toward her, she stomps again and the elevator car bounces just a touch.

  “Shit! What was that?” She reaches out for me in the blackness below our glowing heads and finds my arm.

  Using the opportunity to have her body against mine again, I pull her to me. “It’s okay Rach. We’re fine. Everything’s fine.”

  Casually, I hold her against my chest and scoot closer to the glass wall to see if I can see anything happening out in the black abyss of the hotel but if anything, there’s less activity than there has been.

  “Things aren’t fine,” she says under her breath.

  “Rach…”

  “Things aren’t fine, Reece. I’ve spent twelve years outwardly hating you. Twelve years that if all had gone well, we could have been together.”

  Her tears are soaking my button-down and I don’t even know what to say. She’s right, but the shock from her words has me a little dumbfounded.

  “I should have been there holding your hand when Kayla died. I should have been at your graduation. You should have been at mine.”

  I can’t argue with her, but I’m also afraid to speak. To ruin this moment. As heartbreaking as the moment may be, it’s also filling me with something I can’t explain. To know she feels the same way I do. It wasn’t just me who felt robbed of not just memories but of a life. A life we’ll never know thanks to a selfish, hateful man.

  “How could he hurt me like that. Us. How could he do that to both of us. He knew how hard it was for me to leave for school in the emotional state I was in. How could he watch his precious little girl in such misery and not make it better. He could have taken it back. He could have changed his mind, but no, his pride was more important than his own flesh and blood.”

  “Hey,” I whisper, pulling her away from my chest so I can see her and more importantly so she can see me. Taking her face in my hands, my thumbs instinctually try to dry her tears.

  “Sorry, I’m a mess.” She tries to pull away and hide, but there’s no chance of that happening.

  “You’re beautiful.” Her downcast eyes pop open and find my gaze. A new energy sizzling between us. It may be dark, and we may be lit by pink and purple but there is no escaping the change in the atmosphere between us.

  “Rach, I can’t help but think that maybe we’re here for a reason. This power outage or whatever it is may be just what we needed to finally get to talk about things. Maybe get a chance at being friends again?”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can be friends with you.” Again, she tries to step away from me, but this time I’m not letting her go. There may be a vise on my heart that is tightening with her rejection, but I’m not giving up without a fight this time.

  “Why? Why can’t we start over? You never know maybe there is a chance you can tolerate being in my presence once again.”

  She smiles with a shake of her head and her hands gently grip my wrists while her face is still framed by my hands. “Reece, I could never be just your friend. You’re a smart man.”

  I know what she’s getting at, but Lord help me if I don’t want to hear her say it. “Why don’t you spell it out for me, just to make sure I understand exactly what it is you’re saying, Mouse.”

  Doe eyes look at me with fear and hope at the same time. “I know I’ve been awful to you, but it was just my insecurity and the pain of not being enough for you. Because I knew if I let down my guard, you’d break my heart again, because I’ve always had feelings for you. Twelve years later and you still have a piece of my heart. I couldn’t be friends with you because my heart would always want more.”

  Once again, words elude me, but my lips know exactly what to say when they meet hers. Soft and gentle but setting me on fire. Soft kiss after soft kiss. There’s no need to rush because we’ll never make up for twelve years of separation. But we can start over from this moment.

  It’s my sweet little Mouse who outlines my top lip with her tongue and asks permission to take things further. Our kisses intensify and our hands are exploring what was once lost but not forgotten. Our tongues dance together like they had never been apart only it’s better than it ever was when we were sloppy kids rushing through everything.

  As hard as it is to imagine her with Seth or anyone else it’s clear we’ve matured and we both know much more about what we’re doing than we did the last time we were together like this.

  Much to my dismay she pulls back licking her lips. A coy smile graces her swollen lips when she asks. “So, does this mean you don’t want to be friends either?”

  I chuckle at her silly question, but I know what she’s really asking. Just like I wanted to hear her say the words, she wants me to say it too. “Rachel, my whole heart has always been yours.” Her smile turns from coy to beaming and my heart is not only hers, but it’s full.

  She squeaks and without warning, jumps up wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. My hands cupping her ass hold her as steady as I can while her lips attack mine with a newfound passion.

  Backing up against the elevator wall I slide us down to the ground and feel the rustle of the bag as her foot catches it when she unwraps her legs from behind me. Now seated in my lap our kisses become seductively lazy and with each moan she breathes into my mouth I grow harder. So hard, I’m uncomfortable and need to adjust.

  “One sec, Rach,” I say, lifting her enough that she raises off my lap while I reach down to try to soothe the ache that wants her so bad I can barely keep myself contained, but I refuse to move too fast. This kissing and heavy petting is one thing, but I am not going to mess this up by pushing her too fast.

  I’m shocked to feel her hand replace mine. “Here, let me get that for you.”

  I’ve never heard this seductive voice of hers before and holy shit is it mesmerizing. Her voice and her touch have me lifting my hands in the air next to my head like she was holding me at gunpoint. I don’t know what to do with myself as she g
ently strokes me through my pants.

  “Well, some things never change,” she says with a pink, mischievous grin. “I thought it was just because you were my first, but now I know that was just one reason nobody else ever measured up to you.”

  “Fuck, Rachel. What are you doing to me?”

  “Does it not feel good?”

  “I think you know it does,” I say on a ragged breath covering her hand with mine to stop her. “Too good.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Rachel, this is all moving so fast and I don’t want to do anything you’ll regret. I don’t want to mess this up.”

  “I’m a thirty-year-old woman who knows what she wants. What she’s always wanted. And that’s you.”

  “Rachel…”

  Her delicate fingers go through the motions of unbuckling my belt and the top button on my pants.

  “Rachel, what in the world is happening?”

  “Like I said, you’re a smart guy. Pretty sure you have an idea.”

  “Right, but up until an hour ago, you hated me. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “I never hated you.” Now it’s her holding my face in her hands. Her lips brush over mine. “Never.”

  The rubber Miles gave me before we left the penthouse tonight is burning a hole in my pocket. I told him he was crazy when he gave it to me, but he said, ‘you never know’ and damn it if he wasn’t right. You just never know when the power’s going to go out and lock you in an elevator with your ex and change your life forever. At least it will be forever if I have anything to say about it.

  “Here?”

  “Yes, here.” She rubs herself over my erection and if she doesn’t stop, we may never get to where she’s hoping to go.

  Is this really happening?

  Am I really putting my hand in my pocket to hold a condom out to her?

  Will she think I planned to get laid tonight?

  Clearing my throat, I pull the condom out of my pocket. Sheepishly I try to explain while I hold it up in front of her. “Listen, I know this looks bad that I had this in my pocket but Miles being Miles thought he was being a comedian giving this to me before we left the room. He said you never know and I guess he was right. Please tell me you believe me?”