The Secrets We Keep

by Ella Jade

  “The attorney found us early on. We knew we’d be adopting Zoey from almost the beginning of the pregnancy. It was all so final. I never had that anxiety that adoptive parents often have about the birth mother changing her mind. I never met her but according to her attorney, it was a done deal. The woman did not want to keep her child.”

  Oh, Lanie, why? Why didn’t you come to me?

  “Anyway, I was thinking that Zoey’s parents must have been like you.”

  “Why would you say that?” This was hitting a little too close to home.

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You’re so smart and successful. You love to read. You went to an Ivy League school. I know every parent thinks their kid is the smartest but Zoey has always been ahead of kids her age. It got me thinking that maybe her parents were like you. I have nothing to go on and sometimes I wonder.”

  “Would you like to meet them?”

  “I don’t think so.” She bit her lip. “If they sought her out, I wouldn’t stop them but I wouldn’t go searching for them.”

  “You wouldn’t stop them?”

  “They have no legal claim to her and I’m not certain I’d want to share her but she’s such an extraordinary kid, if they came to me one day, maybe when Zoey is older, I’d be open to it.”

  “That’s very kind of you.”

  “Her adoptive father doesn’t want anything to do with her. Too bad he still has a claim to her.”

  Not for long. I was in the process of taking care of that. “Don’t worry about him. I’m sure that will sort itself out.”

  “I hope.”

  “How did you know I went to an Ivy League school?” Was she investigating me? Could she make the connection about me?

  “Oh, well, my friend Carla is a little protective when it comes to men, especially since you’re the first one since my divorce.”

  “What did she do?”

  Carla Del Valli was a well-known socialite who sat on several charity boards. I’d never met her but I knew of her. When I went looking for Zoey, my P.I. had done a thorough search of anyone who was in her life. Carla came up in the search. She and her husband were extremely wealthy and certainly had the resources to investigate me.

  “Don’t be so worried.” Kara inched closer to me, smiling as she nudged me. “Are you hiding something?”

  “Not at all.” God, if you only knew.

  “She knows of you because of your… financial status. Carla loves money and she’s captivated by people who have a lot of it.”

  “Interesting.”

  “I’m surprised she hasn’t solicited you for one of her charities yet.”

  “She wouldn’t be the first.”

  “Carla was curious, so she Googled you. You’re as private on-line as you are in person.”

  “That’s good to know.” Really good to know. “Your search probably told you where I’m from, I have a brother named Zachary, my mother raised the two of us on her own, and I went to Princeton. Anything else?”

  “You’re a formidable businessman.”

  “That’s putting it politely.”

  “I understand how you got so successful.”

  “I do what most wouldn’t even consider to get what I want.” That was an understatement.

  “I don’t see that side of you.”

  “You don’t know me that well.”

  “I’d like to get to know you better.”

  If you find out who I am, you might not want to know me at all. Maybe it’s better if I never tell you.

  “I didn’t find much about your social life on-line. You don’t even have social media.” She waved at Zoey when she came into our view. “Do you do anything but work?”

  “No.”

  “Really?”

  “Occasionally.” I glanced at Zoey and then back to Kara. “I’m working on it.”

  “Am I helping with that?”

  “You are.” I took her hand in mine, running my thumb over her knuckles. “More than you know.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yes.” I wish I could tell you everything.

  “In Carla’s search, I saw that this library was dedicated to Elaine Hightower.”

  Shit!

  “Who was she to you?”

  I didn’t answer right away. I had to be careful with my words.

  “Is that too intrusive,” she asked. “You don’t have to tell me.”

  “At one time, she was very important to me. I didn’t realize how much until it was too late.” I was still coming to terms with the fact that Lanie was the mother of my child. It was even harder for me to deal with her choices. “We had broken up a few years before she died.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “She was a fantastic soul. So vibrant and free-spirited.” I truly meant that. I loved her for a long time and was devastated when she died. “We tried to make a go of things and we worked for a while. At least, I thought we did. She was ready to move forward in our relationship and I wasn’t.” I stopped, experiencing a moment of clarity. Lanie thought I was too busy for a child. “I couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

  “She wanted to get married?”

  “She wanted me to pay her more attention. She wanted to travel and enjoy life. She said I worked too much and she was right but my company was new and I was so wrapped up in it that I didn’t see what was right in front of me.”

  When I saw Zoey adding more books to the pile Penny had started for her, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t put so much energy into building my empire. I’d be Zoey’s father in every sense of the word and Lanie would still be alive. How could I think that way when Kara was Zoey’s mother? Everything happens for a reason, even if we can’t understand what the reason is.

  “Lanie was high maintenance and for a long time throwing money in her direction worked until it didn’t. It turned out she needed the one thing I couldn’t give her.”

  “What was that?”

  “Me.”

  “I’m sorry. It sounds so tragic.”

  “We’d both come to terms with our separation. That wasn’t the tragic part.”

  “The manner of her death was terrible.”

  “It took a lot of therapy sessions for me to accept that her death wasn’t my fault. I thought if I had been the man she had needed, she would still be alive.”

  “You can’t think that way.”

  “That’s what my therapist said.”

  “Your therapist?”

  “Dr. John.” I didn’t share that I had a therapist with many people but Kara seemed like a safe place for me. “I’ve been with him for a few years. When I first went to him, I was full of anger over my father. He abandoned me when I was a child.”

  “Like Zoey.”

  No, not like that at all. I hadn’t abandoned Zoey. I would never do that. She’s not talking about you. “Do you want to know what I did when I made my first million?”

  “What?”

  “I paid off my father’s child support debt.”

  “Oh.”

  “Of course, my mother didn’t want it but I can be insistent. It wasn’t the same as having him take responsibility for his kids but I was making a point. When you tell me about Josh, I have strong opinions. No man should ever abandon his kids.”

  “Do you have a relationship with your dad?”

  “Not at all.” He tried to reach out to me a few years ago. It had more to do with my monetary success than it did with wanting a relationship with me. “I’m better off without him.”

  “Did your therapist agree?”

  “The only thing my therapist agrees with me on is payment.” I laughed. “He’s great and he really helps me but he disapproves of most of my ideas. He lets me talk until I figure out where I’m headed.”

  “I got lots of books!” Zoey ran toward us. “Look!” She pointed at the cart Penny pushed toward us. “See them all?”

  “You’ve picked a multitude of books.” I le
t go of Kara’s hand.

  “Mul-ti-tude.” Zoey pondered her new word.

  “You’re going to make her a walking thesaurus.” Kara hugged Zoey.

  “Xavier is the smartest man I know,” Penny said. “Everyone thinks so.”

  “Do you want to know what it means?” I ignored Penny’s attempt at flirting. Normally, it didn’t bother me. She was a silly girl with a crush but I didn’t care for it in front of Kara.

  Zoey looked up at me, waiting for my response.

  “It means you have a lot of books,” I told her.

  “I do! Can I get them all?” she asked. “Please?”

  Did this kid really think I’m going to say no?

  “Penny.” I handed her my library card. “Can you get us checked out?”

  “Sure.” She took the card from me and wheeled the cart toward the circulation desk.

  “I’m going to get my girls to the car.” I lifted Zoey before wrapping my arm around Kara’s waist and bringing her close to me. “Are you ready for lunch?”

  “Yes!” Zoey draped her arm over my shoulder. “Chocolate shakes?”

  “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

  “Mama, we’re X’s girls.”

  Kara had the most incredulous look on her face. I’m full of surprises, sweetheart.

  “I call it like I see it.” My decision to insert myself into their lives may turn out to be one of the best things I’d ever done.

  “Do you always get what you want?”

  “Do you really have to ask?”

  “Xavier Trapp.” A familiar, intrusive voice interrupted my moment.

  “Stan Turner.” One of my biggest rivals. We’d gone against one another through the years, bidding on the same properties. I’d won four of the last five. I could have had the fifth but decided it wasn’t worth my time.

  “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a family man.” He looked Kara and Zoey over. “Where have you been hiding these two?”

  “Stan.” I released Kara from my hold. “These are my good friends Kara and Zoey.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Kara extended her hand.

  “I’m an associate of X’s.” He shook Kara’s hand and then smiled at Zoey.

  “Associate is a polite word.” I shook his hand. “I didn’t peg you for a library guy.”

  “Oh, I’m not.” He motioned toward the stacks. “My daughter has a project due. She’s in the reference section. I didn’t think they still used books but she insisted I bring her.”

  A daughter? I had no idea. I never looked at the human aspect when I was dealing with my work. I only got to know my opponents personal lives if I could use it as some type of weakness.

  “I better go see if she needs help,” Stan said. “Be prepared for next week. There’s something big coming.”

  “Do you think you’re telling me anything I don’t know?” I shook my head because he was stupid to underestimate me. “I’m already on it.”

  “Not if I get to it first.” He smiled at Kara. “Do me a favor, keep him away from his computer this weekend.”

  “I don’t have that kind of power.” Kara gazed into my eyes.

  “Then he’s a fool.” Stan nodded at me before waving goodbye to us. “I’m sure I’ll be on your radar this week.”

  “Unfortunately.”

  That was unexpected. We were two very ruthless businessmen with different tactics but at the end of the day, we were both fathers who would do anything for our children.

  “Can we have lunch?” Zoey ran her palm along my jaw.

  “We can do anything you want.”

  When I placed my hand over hers, I caught Kara snapping a picture of us.

  “That was too precious of a picture not to capture.” She dropped her phone in her bag. “I’ll send it to you.”

  It’s all about the equation.

  8

  Kara

  When we arrived home, X walked us to the door. We’d had the most magical afternoon. Zoey didn’t have any memories of Josh. When we were with X, it felt like we were a family. He was generous and caring. Watching him with her made me see how special of a man he was.

  “Can I go play with my dolls?” Zoey asked as she hurried into the house. “And read my new books?”

  “Sure.” I handed her a couple of the books. “I’ll bring the rest up later.”

  X followed us into the foyer. “I had a wonderful time today, Z.”

  “Me too, X.” She hugged him. “I’m glad we found you.”

  When he smiled at me, I realized how much I shared my daughter’s sentiment.

  “Will you come back and read some of my books with me?”

  “I’d love to.” He stroked her hair. “We could have a standing date to the library every two weeks so you’ll always have new books.”

  “Will your schedule allow that?” I asked because now that he said it, Zoey would expect it.

  “I’ll make time.” He smiled at her. “Would you like that?”

  “Two weeks,” she reminded him before running up the steps to her room, eager to play.

  “Thank you for making her day so fantastic,” I said. “She had a great time.”

  “And you? Did you have a great time too?”

  “The best.” I smoothed out my skirt. “I can’t believe you got the chef to make chicken fingers and Mac and cheese.” I shook my head when I thought about the top notch chef making such a simple lunch for Zoey. “It was very kind of him.”

  “I wanted to go someplace upscale for us but I wanted Zoey to be happy too.”

  “She had her favorite foods, a chocolate shake, and you. She was happy.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “She’ll be occupied upstairs for a bit if you’d like to come in.” I wanted an opportunity to get to know him without Zoey in the room. He was so attentive to her needs and she liked having his undivided attention but that left little time for us to have a full conversation. I liked talking to him in the library. I wanted to learn more about who he was.

  “I really have to get a jump on that deal before Stan finds a way to outbid me. I have some research to do.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’d like to see you again.”

  I thought about my conversation with Carla. How was I ever going to figure out if we were more than just friends if we didn’t explore an adult relationship? “I was wondering if you’d maybe like to…” This was a stupid idea. If he wanted to go on a date, wouldn’t he ask? “Zoey is spending the night at my mom’s house next weekend. They try to do it once a month.”

  “I’m sure Zoey enjoys spending time with her grandmother.”

  “It’s their special time together and my mom insists I get a me night.”

  “A me night?”

  “I usually stay home and binge watch something in my pajamas and fuzzy socks.” I shrugged. “I take a hot bath, do my nails, and have a glass of wine. As you can see, I lead a very glamorous life.”

  “Next Saturday?” He took out his phone and opened some elaborate calendar. “Would you like to do something glamorous?”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “I have to attend a dinner where I’m presenting an award. It’s a black-tie affair with lots of useless rich people.” When his mouth curved into his signature sexy grin, I fought the urge to bite his bottom lip. “I usually have dinner, make a donation to whatever charity they are sponsoring, present the award and slip out when I’m done. No one notices I’m gone.”

  “Somehow I doubt that.”

  “There will be dinner, champagne, and dancing.”

  “Sounds exciting.” I’d never been to a black-tie affair. Come to think of it, I hadn’t been out much at all in the last few years.

  “Would you like to go with me?”

  “Like just the two of us?”

  “Unless you’d rather stay home alone and binge watch something.”

  “No.” The heat spread from the back of my neck to my cheeks when I realized he
was teasing me. “I’ll go.”

  “I’ll have Adrian add you to the guest list.”

  “Adrian?”

  “My assistant. She’s scared to death of me but we’re working out our issues.”

  “It isn’t too late to add me as your guest?”

  “It’s never too late.” When he stared at me and I wondered what he was thinking. “Do you know how many people will be shocked that I’m bringing a plus one?”

  “You don’t normally do that?”

  “Bring a date? Never.”

  A date. I’ll be his date.

  “I’ll send you the details.”

  “Thank you for inviting me.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” He stepped closer to me. “I’d like to see you during the week if possible. Perhaps I could take you and Zoey to dinner on Wednesday or Thursday?”

  “Thursday works.” His presence filled me with a giddiness that came with new and exciting feelings.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  He placed his palm on my cheek, drawing my face to his, tangling his fingers in my hair. My heart beat sped up when I realized he was going to kiss me. This was different from the last time we stood in this foyer. His eyes held an intensity that I’d never seen before. There was a hunger in them, a desire that took hold of me. When he tilted his head, I closed my eyes in anticipation. This time when our lips connected there was an instant spark. It started in my core, tugging from some place deep inside me. His lips were warm but his tongue was hot as it swirled inside my mouth, seeking out mine. As he tightened his hold on my hair, I gripped his biceps, falling deeper into the kiss.

  “Mama!” Zoey shouted.

  X gently kissed the corner of my mouth before releasing me.

  “I need more books,” Zoey called from her room.

  “I’ll be there in a minute.” I tried to catch my breath as my heart rate raced inside my chest.

  “Take care of Zoey.” He kissed my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” I opened the door for him, trying to steady myself. “Today was incredible.”

  “There will be plenty more days like today.” When he spoke, I couldn’t help but focus on his lips. “I promise.”

  I believed him.