The Drake Equation

by Bart King

  I managed to nod, concentrating on her nose.

  Anemona smiled. “Here’s my secret. You know how some people think I’m an airhead just because I’m popular?”

  “What?” I protested. “No!”

  Anemona clucked her tongue. “That’s sweet, but you know it’s true. What no one knows is that I’m actually a total secret nerd. I mean, I love reading books and stuff, like science fiction. And I love that British TV show, Dr. Whom.”

  I grinned, then quickly closed my mouth since my teeth are so big. “It’s okay, I’m a secret nerd too,” I said. “Only the secret got out.”

  Anemona smiled at me—and it was like being hit with a dazzling beam of light. “You’re funny! Why didn’t I know that you were so funny?” She poked me in the arm with her finger, touching my scar. “So what about you—do you have any other secrets?”

  I could only gulp. SHE JUST TOUCHED ME. And in that moment, my theory that “nobody likes the person who likes them” just seemed stupid. Of course they did—the evidence was right here!

  Anemona laughed again. This time it sounded like silver coins trickling into a forest brook. “Oh, come on, you can tell me anything.” She leaned closer, her eyes twinkling. “How about this: Is there anyone at our school who you like?”

  She gave me a slow wink, and my heart almost stopped. Actually, I’m pretty sure it did stop.

  Then Anemona quietly added, “Listen, I’m really sorry to bring it up, but I hear you found something at Noyd Woods?”

  Wait—what?

  I cleared my throat. “Did Jason tell you about this?”

  “Mmm-hmm,” Anemona agreed. She cocked her head like a cardinal (Cardinalis cardinalis) inspecting a berry. “And he said you probably wouldn’t mind if I looked at it for a second.”

  I absently patted the quincunx in my pocket. This was all very unexpected. When did this happen? Did Jason call Anemona last night? I took a deep breath to calm down, and her lilac smell grew stronger. (Or maybe it was honeysuckle. Whatever.)

  “If you let me take a little peek at it, I’ll be your best friend,” Anemona said teasingly. “Your best friend in the whole world.”

  Lame, right? Well, guess what: I believed her! All I had to do was show Anemona the quincunx, and one thing would lead to another. Next thing you know, we’d start hanging out all the time. It’d be like in those romantic comedies, the part where the big power ballad blasts.

  In my mind, the music would play while Anemona and I sat on the bus together, laughing about Dr. Whom. Then we’d text each other all day and hold hands as we rode the bus home. And heck, Mr. Berry worked for the city! He could marry the two of us at my bus stop, and then all the kids would throw flowers out of the school bus windows….

  Whoa. This was getting away from me. But still, Anemona was right there, with her big green eyes and a friendly smile. She was flirting—with me!

  “Just one little peek?” Anemona asked, raising her eyebrows encouragingly.

  I glanced around. Nobody was paying any attention besides maybe Ronnie Ramirez. (Although he was facing forward, Ronnie was shaking his head slowly.) I pulled the glittering quincunx out and cradled it in my hand like a baby bird that’d fallen from its nest. “This is it,” I whispered.

  Anemona squinted. “Can I see it?” I moved the quincunx a little closer to her. “I mean, can I see it?” She held out her hand, and as she did, I noticed that Anemona’s green eyes had little flecks of gold in them.

  I gingerly handed her the quincunx. She took it and leaned back in her seat. I turned more and put my arm over the seat. Then Anemona pulled a little notepad and a purple gel pen from her purse. She turned the quincunx over carefully and looked at its back with a little frown.

  And then she started taking notes!

  How observant, I thought, impressed. She’d make a good birder.

  “Thanks,” Anemona said a minute later, putting away the notebook and pen with a click-click. Then—without even looking at where it might go—Anemona tossed the quincunx backward, over her shoulder.

  “Hey!” I yelled in horror and surprise. My purple-green quincunx was sailing through the air, turning end over end in slow motion.

  It’ll be broken, crushed…KILLED.

  The quincunx flew back, back, back—

  —and then, magically, a hand reached up from behind a seat and plucked it from the air.

  I slumped in relief. Yes! Saved!

  The hand holding the quincunx stayed in place while its owner sat up where I could see him. Guess who? Yup, that’s right: Coby Cage.

  “WHAT?” JENNY SPUTTERED FURIOUSLY. Her eyes lit up like road flares. “How could you have lost the quincunx already, Noah? HOW?”

  The twins had been waiting for me at school. And as soon as I got off the bus, they knew something was wrong.

  “Listen, Jenny, I didn’t lose it,” I said. “I know exactly where the quincunx is.” And right then, Anemona walked past us. She paused like she wanted to say something to me, but Jenny gave her such a murderous glare, Anemona just kept going.

  “Noah,” Jason said, “please tell me that Anemona didn’t have anything to do with this.”

  “I was tricked!” I said guiltily. “Anemona said you said it was okay for her to see the quincunx.”

  Jason acted like I’d accused him of murder. “Dude, why would I tell someone our secret? How could you believe that?” I just looked at him. “Okay, that was a pretty good move on her part,” Jason admitted.

  But Jenny wasn’t letting me off that easily. “Noah, why do you act like a little schoolboy around her?”

  “Technically, I am a schoolboy,” I said, but neither of them was listening anymore. Because Coby Cage was walking by—with the quincunx glittering in his hand.

  Coby glanced over at us. “Hey, kids,” he said cheerfully. Then he squinted up into the sun and got a nasty gleam in his eye. “Nice day we’re having, huh? It’d be a real shame if it cooled off.”

  Coby paused dramatically. “You know what I’m talkin’ about? I wonder if it’ll cool off.”

  We knew what he was talking about.

  Coby walked off, chuckling.

  “You may as well tell us how he got it,” Jason said quietly.

  So I tried to explain.

  * * *

  After Coby caught the flying quincunx, he’d handed something small to the two girls in front of him, Mindy and Beth. (You might remember Mindy as the girl who’s “secretly” in love with Jason.)

  MINDY and BETH (Histrionicus vociferus)

  APPEARANCE: Always together.

  VOICE: All vocalizations delivered as high-pitched questions? Like this?

  PLUMAGE: Bright, trendsetting.

  RANGE/SOCIAL BEHAVIOR: Flanking or flocking. (That means Mindy and Beth are always either flanking Anemona or flocking to a larger group.)

  STATUS: High.

  Mindy took the item from Coby and unfolded it—a twenty-dollar bill. She placed it in her pink handbag, and gave Anemona a nod.

  I couldn’t believe my eyes. “You stole for money?!” I demanded.

  “I didn’t steal anything,” Anemona said innocently. “Trust me, Coby’s not going to KEEP it. He’ll just look at it, and then you’ll get it back.” She tossed her hair dismissively. “Besides, it’s not yours—you found it. What’s so special about that thing anyway?”

  I was so upset, I didn’t even wonder how Anemona knew that I’d found the quincunx. Instead, I slumped in my seat. “You wouldn’t understand.”

  Anemona gave a little snort. “You might be surprised.” Then she got up—even though the bus was moving—and walked like a queen back to her usual seat in the rear of the bus.

  And Mr. Berry didn’t even yell at her!

  Meanwhile, I could see Coby bent over in his seat. The quincunx’s green glow lit his face from below, making him look like a monster. Yikes. I turned back around and found myself facing Ronnie Ramirez. He held up his wristwatch. “Th-that only took her f-
five minutes.”

  So much for my appointment with destiny.

  * * *

  As I finished telling my story, Jenny clenched her fists. “So Anemona made goo-goo eyes, and you HANDED the quincunx to her?”

  “Yeah.” I shrugged sarcastically. “The goo-goo eyes get me every time.” As Jenny got ready to strangle me, Jason planted himself between us.

  “What’s done is dumb,” he said. “The question is, What do we do now?”

  I tried to look at the positive side. “Look, we’re probably safe. After all, Coby won’t be able to use the quincunx.”

  “But what if he can?” asked Jenny. The three of us looked at one another. Coby Cage was bad enough on his own. But Coby with ICE? He’d freeze the principal just as a warm-up.

  And then he’d come after us!

  The twins must have been thinking the same thing. “We’ve got to get that quincunx back,” said Jenny.

  Jason nodded. “It could be dangerous.” He turned to me. “Just in case Jenny and I don’t make it, will you tell our dad our final words?”

  “You’re always so dramatic,” I said. “Fine, what do you want? Something like ‘I love you’?”

  “No, no,” Jenny said. “What good would that do? Tell him our last words were, ‘Coby Cage killed us.’”

  By now, the last buses had pulled away. Except for a couple of kids walking across the parking lot, everyone had headed to homeroom. “When should we try to get it back?” Jason asked.

  I thought. “My guess is that we’ve got till the end of school. Coby’ll probably want to keep this secret to start with.”

  The homeroom bell rang. The three of us turned to go inside—and there stood Coby, waiting for us. So much for that theory.

  Jason and I jumped back in surprise, but Jenny moved toward him with a gleam in her eye. “So, you want to return what you stole?” she said, holding out her hand.

  Coby laughed in disbelief. Then he pointed at me. “Why do you twins even hang out with this third wheel?” He glanced meaningfully at Jenny’s wheelchair. “Get it?”

  I looked around in vain for an adult, but there’s never a teacher around when you need one. Coby thumbed the quincunx’s screen. “You probably should have dressed warmer today, Noah,” he said. “Now let’s see…G, H, and aha, there it is—the letter I. For ‘Ice.’”

  “Wait.” I was shocked. “How can you read that?!” The quincunx had betrayed me. Of all the people to reveal its secrets to, why my archenemy?

  “Amazing, huh?” Coby brought the quincunx a little closer to his face. “You’re not the only smart one. I can read and write and everything. But whoever programmed this thing sure can’t spell.”

  “Psst,” hissed Jason. “Should I make the call?” He showed me the screen of his iPhone. He had already pressed 9-1, and his finger was hovering over the “1” button.

  “There’s no time,” I whispered back. “We should run for it.”

  “I say we jump him,” Jenny said. “It’s three to one!” Amazing, right? Jenny was on fire—she had more guts than Jason and me put together. Anyway, while we argued about what to do, Coby brought the quincunx up to his ear. ICE was on the way.

  I took a step backward, even as Jenny continued forward. Dang it, so much for my escape. I may be a coward, but I wasn’t leaving the twins to fight Coby alone.

  But there was just one little problem—I don’t actually know how to fight.

  “Spread out!” Jenny yelled.

  Jason stopped in his tracks. “Why?”

  Jenny rolled her eyes in exasperation. “So he can’t freeze us all at the same—”

  “Too late!” I cried. Coby had a strange smile on his lips, and he was already pointing his hand at me. As Coby closed his fingers into a fist, pale-green circles of energy began rippling around it.

  I felt cheated. What a rip-off! The quincunx didn’t give ME any green energy circles when I used it.

  Coby was staring at the green circles around his fist and laughing diabolically. Something bad was about to happen. Something REALLY bad.

  “Jason!” I yelled. “Hit the 1! Hit the 1!”

  AND THAT WAS WHEN I SAW the Most Horrible Thing I’ve Ever Seen in My Whole Life. (And I’m including the time Ronnie Ramirez blew milk out his nose.*)

  The circular green waves covering Coby’s huge fist began spreading. As more circles appeared, they started working their way up his arm. “Awesome!” Coby crowed. Then he pointed his shimmering green fist at me. “You’re toast, Noah. Frozen toast.”

  So I had three choices:

  □ Tell Coby that “frozen toast” was impossible. (You can either freeze bread or toast it, not both.)

  □ Attack Coby with my Fake-Fu.

  □ Run away as fast as possible.

  Did you know there really is a fast-running bird called the roadrunner? The real roadrunner (Geococcyx californianus) looks more like a woodpecker than a cartoon ostrich.

  Anyway, when the cartoon roadrunner “beep-beeps” and then races off, his feet are just a whirl of speed. And that was me, as I sprinted across that parking lot at a breakneck pace.

  But as I ran, a voice behind me kept getting louder and louder.

  “…oah! Noah! Noah!”

  Someone was catching up to me—but at my speed, that was impossible.

  “NOAH!”

  Now I could even hear heavy breathing as my pursuer got closer—so I put my head down and poured it on. I pretended I was outrunning an avalanche, a lion, an enraged volleyball coach. I was practically flying!

  And then a hand tapped me on the shoulder. Coby! How had he done it? Did he freeze the asphalt and skate after me on its slick ice surface? I was about to become frozen toast. But I wasn’t going down without a fight. So I stopped running, spun around, and dropped into a battle crouch. (True, I don’t know what a battle crouch is, but I was ready for anything, especially if it involved crouching.)

  But it wasn’t Coby who’d tapped my shoulder. It was Jason.

  “Dude.” Jason looked awfully pale. “You have to come back.”

  “W-wait a minute,” I gasped, my heart racing like a hummingbird. “H-how did you even catch me?”

  Jason looked puzzled. “You’re really slow. Look, you barely made it out of the parking lot.”

  I looked around. I’d run about sixty yards. So much for being a roadrunner.

  “Hurry,” urged Jason. “Or just come as fast as you can.” He turned and effortlessly ran back across the school parking lot—and back to Coby Cage.

  I followed. And what I saw next was horrible. It was awful. It was unspeakable. Let me tell you about it.

  As I ran back, I spotted the iridescent quincunx on the sidewalk. Its oval screen was still flashing—Coby must have flung it away at some point. I began to detour to pick it up, but Jason grabbed my arm and pulled me away.

  “Look!” he said, pointing.

  Someone had barfed a big pile of what looked like blackberry waffles on the sidewalk.

  No, that’s not the unspeakable part. This is:

  The quincunx’s green energy waves had replaced Coby’s entire body! You know those Visible Man anatomy figures? The ones with clear plastic skin, so that you can see all the bright-red muscles and freaky organs and tissues and tendons and bones on the inside?

  Now imagine a life-size version of that. And even though the life-size version has clothes on, you can see through those, too! Finally, imagine that the figure isn’t made out of plastic. It’s made of an actual person.

  Suddenly the Visible Man made a sound: “What is happening?”

  “Aah!” I yelled and jumped. “What is that?”

  Jenny turned to me. Her eyes looked glassy, like she might faint. “THAT is Coby.”

  “HELP ME!”

  “Aah!” This time, Jason and I both yelled and jumped as the Visible Coby took a step toward us.

  I tore my eyes away from the pile of Coby parts. Then a movement caught my eye—a mane of flaming-red
hair. Anemona. She was just beyond Jenny, lurking behind a plum tree. Anemona’s eyes locked with mine—and then, they slid down to something bright and shiny on the sidewalk near her.

  The quincunx.

  “Jenny!” I cried in a panic. “Look!”

  Jenny spun, spotted Anemona, and gave her wheels a powerful spin. As she did, Anemona took two steps and bent toward the quincunx.

  As Anemona reached down, Jenny blocked my view. Then she got to Anemona, there was a brief tussle, and the quincunx fell to the sidewalk again. As it did, Jenny spun 180 degrees around. Like lightning, she reached down with her hand and batted the quincunx to me like a—

  Well, like a hockey puck, actually.

  The quincunx skittered across the pavement—past the Visible Coby (yuck)—and came to rest against my shoe.

  “Nice shot!” I yelled, crouching to pick the sparkling disc up. (I knew all that crouching would pay off.) The screen was still flashing, so I quickly pressed its stem to end the connection. But will that reverse Coby’s visibility problem?

  “Hey, Anemona,” I said triumphantly, waving it over my head. “Who’s got the quincunx now?”

  Anemona just looked at me, expressionless. There was an uncomfortable silence.

  “Well, it’s me,” I concluded.

  “Calm down, Noah,” said Anemona, frowning. “I’m the one who said that you’d get your toy back.” She tossed something on the sidewalk. It was a twenty-dollar bill. “And I didn’t do this for the money.”

  She glanced at Visible Coby, who was now just sitting on the sidewalk and holding his skull in his horrible see-through-ey hands.

  “Oh, gross,” Anemona said matter-of-factly. Then she wrinkled her nose in disgust and walked off.

  I called after her halfheartedly. “And I don’t like you anymore, either.” I clenched the quincunx a little tighter. So it didn’t betray me after all. And in its own bizarre style, the quincunx had found its way back to me.

  As Jason ran and grabbed the twenty, Jenny flicked a finger at Anemona like a switchblade. “Not only did she break Noah’s heart,” she said to Jason, “but this is all her fault. And I’m going to get her back for it.”