Lone Star Holiday Proposal

by Yvonne Lindsay

  “Please, Raina. Just give me five minutes. You won’t answer or return my calls—what else was I supposed to do but turn up to see you?”

  “So you didn’t come here for JJ then?” She challenged him with an angry glare.

  “Of course I came for JJ. But I’d have been stupid not to want to see you, too.”

  Raina crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine. Say what you’ve come to say.”

  Nolan looked around the busy foyer full of parents and family members of the performers all milling about. “Can we step outside for a bit of privacy?”

  * * *

  He held his breath, waiting for Raina’s reply, and felt a surge of relief when she gave him a brief nod and headed toward the main doors. They found a spot outside under the portico where they wouldn’t be in the way of people coming into the hall. She still had her arms crossed and her eyes kept flicking this way and that, as if she was on the lookout for someone.

  “Thank you,” he said. “I appreciate it.”

  “Just get to the point, Nolan. What is it that you’re so determined to tell me?”

  While she still sounded as if she was madder at him than a wet hen, he could see she was barely holding herself together. Lines of strain pulled around her mouth and eyes and she looked exhausted.

  “I’ve quit Samson Oil,” he started, thinking he may as well get to the point from the beginning. She definitely wasn’t in a mood to mess around. “I thought a lot about what you said and you were right. It made me look at myself with fresh eyes and I didn’t like what I saw anymore.”

  Raina didn’t respond, so he continued.

  “I’ve decided to move back to Royal, to rejoin my father’s practice. I know I can do good there and while I feel that I did a lot of good with Samson Oil, I also hurt a lot of people, too. Especially you. I’m sorry for that, Raina. It was never my intention to cause you any harm either directly or indirectly. Nor could I just stand aside and let my boss potentially harm people like you anymore.”

  Raina shifted from one foot to the other and rubbed her upper arms with her hands. It was clear she’d heard about all she was prepared to listen to.

  “Why is this any of my business, Nolan? What makes you think I care where you live or what you do?”

  The hurt was there, loud and clear in every word she spoke even though she’d kept her tone even.

  “I’d like to think it’s your business because before I messed everything up, you started to have feelings for me.” At her sound of protest he continued. “The way I have feelings for you. Hear me out, please. Raina, I think I’m falling in love with you. Yes, I know it’s sudden and that we barely know one another but from the first moment I laid eyes on you I knew you were someone special. Someone who had been missing in my life. Please, give me another chance. Give us another chance.”

  He waited for her response for what felt like forever, even though he logically knew it could only have been a minute or so. Her face had changed, become unreadable even to someone like him who was used to studying every nuance of expression for answers. Finally, she took in a breath and spoke.

  “I can’t make a decision about something like that here and now.”

  He took solace in the fact that it wasn’t a direct no.

  “I accept that. Look, right now it’s enough that you’re prepared to think about it.”

  “I need to get inside. They’ll be starting soon.”

  She pushed past him and he let her go. It would probably be too much to expect her to sit with him. Nolan watched her go in the front doors and started, more slowly, to follow. He didn’t care if he stood at the back of the hall for the duration of the pageant, but he would be there for JJ. As he made his way to the door, he saw a shadow detach itself from the bushes near the road. Nolan watched as the man walked toward the parking area. There was something about the shape and size of the man, and the way he moved, that was vaguely familiar. In a rush, Nolan remembered the person he’d seen on the road near Raina’s house.

  Every sense in his body went on full alert. He followed the man to the lot where he saw the guy draw to a halt by Raina’s car.

  “Can I help you?” he called out and was surprised when the guy wheeled around to face him rather than run away.

  The man’s face might once have been handsome, Nolan thought, but the dissipation wrought by hard living, no doubt compounded by too much alcohol judging by the smell coming from him right now, had left its mark.

  “I know you,” the man said. “Seen you sniffing around Raina’s place. She’s a fine piece of ass, isn’t she?”

  Nolan’s hands curled into fists at the familiar way the man spoke about Raina.

  “What’s it to you?” he demanded.

  The guy laughed. “She hasn’t told you about me, has she? Her dirty little secret.”

  Suddenly it all started to slip into place. This guy was Raina’s ex—and JJ’s father. Nolan instinctively wanted to shield them from this guy—to make sure he didn’t touch or tarnish their lives again. But, last he checked, murder was still illegal in the state of Texas.

  “I know about you,” Nolan said, taking scant satisfaction in pricking Jeb Pickering’s bubble of confidence. This was the man who’d left Raina’s wrist looking black and blue. Nolan itched to deliver a dose of the same thing to the bastard but he knew there were ways and means of dealing with lowlifes like him—and he was going to make sure he never hurt Raina again. “You’re not wanted here. Get on your way.”

  “I got every right to be here. More right ’n you, anyways. JJ’s my boy. Not yours.”

  Jeb’s stance altered and he drew himself up to his full height in an effort to intimidate Nolan. While the guy had an inch or two on him, Nolan knew that if it came to it, he’d still best Pickering in a fight. That, however, would be a last resort.

  “Now you want to claim him?” Nolan sneered. “A bit late, isn’t it?”

  “It’s never too late,” Jeb challenged in return.

  “It is when you’re a no-good waste of time. You think you’re a man but you’re nothing. A real man doesn’t treat a woman the way you’ve treated Raina.”

  Jeb’s expression grew ugly under the lamp light, his mouth twisting into a harsh line. “You don’t know nothing ’bout what happened.”

  “I know enough.”

  The look on Jeb’s face changed again, going from belligerent to sly in one breath.

  “A man can change his mind, can’t he? Although—” he paused and rubbed at the stubble on his chin “—I guess that would mess up your plans, wouldn’t it?”

  “My plans?”

  Nolan inwardly cursed himself for falling into Jeb’s verbal trap.

  “Yeah, your plans with my girl and my son.”

  “Look, you might be his biological father but be honest, that’s where your attachment to JJ begins and ends. As for Raina, she’s not your girl. Not anymore.”

  “Ah, but she’s not yours either, is she? Not yet.”

  Jeb looked smug and Nolan’s hands itched to wipe that expression off his face.

  “Besides,” Jeb continued. “She owes me.”

  Nolan shook his head. “I don’t see how she owes you anything.”

  “Money, doofus. She owes me money. We have, what you would say, an agreement.”

  “Haven’t you already taken enough from her? What kind of man are you anyway, constantly leeching off a woman that way?”

  The insult fell on deaf ears. “I’m here to get what’s mine. Mind you, since you’re the one who has the hots for Rai, maybe you should be the one paying me.”

  He could imagine the gears grinding in the back of Jeb’s mind as the man took in Nolan’s appearance, the quality of his coat, the expensive haircut and his handmade boots. Since money was the man’s major motiva
tor, Nolan hoped that maybe he could save Raina the additional pressure of ever having to see Jeb again. Maybe.

  “How much?” Nolan demanded.

  “Look, man, this is between Raina and me,” Jeb started, rocking back on his feet slightly. “But if you wanted to pay what she owes me—hell, I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy. Your money is as good as hers.”

  “If I give you anything, you have to give me your word, such as it is, that you won’t bother Raina again.”

  “Hey, man, no need to insult me,” Jeb protested, suddenly the picture of a man affronted when his integrity has been called into question. But then he laughed. It was an ugly sound that revealed his true avaricious character. “Whatever. When can you pay me?”

  “First you have to tell me how much.”

  Jeb named a figure and Nolan didn’t so much as bat an eyelid. “I can do that. Give me your bank account details.”

  “I don’t have no bank account, man. I need cash and I need it now.”

  “I can get it to you tomorrow night. But on one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That you get away from here now and stay away from Raina and JJ.”

  “It’s not like I want to see them,” Jeb scowled. “She owes me, is all. But, yeah, I’ll do as you say. She won’t see me—tonight anyway.”

  “Good. But if I hear that she’s caught so much as a glimpse of you after our talk tonight, the deal’s off.” Nolan glared at him to make his point clear. “And I’ll make sure she doesn’t give you anything either.”

  Jeb looked at him, as if trying to figure out whether Nolan could influence Raina that much. Obviously he decided that Nolan could. He lifted his chin in acceptance of the terms.

  “Where d’you want to meet?”

  Nolan named a parking lot in back of some buildings downtown. Jeb nodded. “I know it. I’ll be there. Six o’clock tomorrow night. Don’t be late or the deal’s off and I’m back to my original plan.”

  “Oh, I’ll be on time, don’t you worry about that,” Nolan affirmed, staying outside to watch Jeb as he headed off down the street and faded from sight.

  Nolan went back to the hall. The lights gleaming on the front porch were a welcome contrast to the darkness of the man he’d just seen leave. He wondered what the hell Raina had ever seen in Jeb Pickering, but then again, knowing her even as little as he did, he could see why the lost boy inside Jeb would appeal to her nature to nurture and mend what was broken. She certainly had mended what was broken within him, Nolan thought, and made him dream of a new future.

  He quietly let himself into the hall and scanned the rows of seats, trying to spot Raina. There she was. Again that familiar wave of protectiveness swept through him. Dealing with Jeb would be an unpleasant business, but he’d do whatever it took to keep Raina safe from that creep and anything or anyone else that threatened her. Raina and JJ both.

  As if she’d sensed his presence, she turned and their eyes met. She gave him a tentative smile and waved him to come toward her. Nolan realized she’d saved him a seat. The knowledge eased loose the knot he’d been carrying in his chest since she’d confronted him and told him to get lost, and for the first time in a long time, Nolan admitted he felt hope.

  Twelve

  From the moment Nolan sat down next to her, Raina felt every nerve and cell in her body become attuned to his nearness. The seats were close together so his broad shoulder brushed against hers. In the end, it was easier to give in to the occasional contact and stop trying to hold herself apart from him.

  Who was she kidding anyway? Yes, she was still mad at him and, yes, she still felt betrayed, but he’d extended an olive branch tonight. While her first instinct had been to reject it, and him, in an attempt to save herself from any further hurt or heartbreak, didn’t she owe it to herself to give him another chance? If what he said was true, and he’d quit Samson Oil, maybe that was the genuine measure of the man himself.

  She glanced toward him and caught him looking back at her. His brown eyes were alight with joy and she felt her body relax even more.

  “Our Spider-Man is doing great, don’t you think?” he whispered to her, leaning in closer.

  Her nostrils flared as his scent wafted toward her, making her insides twist with suppressed need. It was all she could do to smile and nod an acknowledgment and return her eyes to the stage where JJ stood as tall and proud as he could, his little face turned to the crowd and his gaze searching for her among the many faces. She saw the moment he picked her out in the crowd and he beamed at her, and then his eyes drifted to where Nolan sat beside her and she thought JJ’s face might split with happiness.

  She felt a telltale prickle of tears in her eyes. She’d tried so darn hard to be everything that JJ had needed in his young life. But his obvious joy at having Nolan present made her realize that she couldn’t be all things to her son, no matter what she did. Not being able to ensure he had the best of everything life had to offer frustrated her. She wanted him to have it all.

  If Nolan’s words were true, if he was really falling in love with her, then she had to know how he felt about JJ, too. They were a package deal.

  But what of the wife and child she’d heard mention of earlier this week? How could she casually bring that up in conversation without it sounding as if she’d been snooping into his life? Of course, she rationalized, she had a right to snoop—she had more than herself to consider—but snooping had never been her thing. She’d always been a “live and let live” type of person, someone who tried to always see the good in people.

  But hadn’t that very facet of her personality caused her to make some of the worst decisions in her life, as well? Decisions like Jeb and the loser boyfriends she’d had before him? No—no matter which way she looked at it, she couldn’t regret her time with Jeb no matter how much it had cost her and how much heartache he’d wrought. Without him, she wouldn’t have had JJ. Becoming a parent had made her realize just what her father had sacrificed for her all these years and deepened her love for him a thousandfold. Her dad had worked hard to make up for her mother’s abandonment, and while he’d had lady friends come and go through the years, Raina had never felt as if she’d lacked for not having her mother with her growing up.

  Which brought her to even more questions. Was it in JJ’s best interests for her to keep allowing Nolan access to them both if he was going to abandon them like he might have done already with his own family? Raina had learned the hard way, time and time again, what abandonment felt like, how much it hurt. Could she even consider risking that for JJ? He was still so young. Still so reliant on her to protect him.

  And what of Nolan’s wife? Was she someone Raina had met before? Someone she came across in her day-to-day life? She hated the thought that for some poor soul she might become the other woman.

  Her mind was whirling with so many worries that she barely noticed the pageant was up to the final number. The children were singing “Silent Night” and the audience had joined in. Beside her, the sound of Nolan’s tenor forced her attention back to the present. Sometimes, she reminded herself, you simply had to let go and let God. Maybe it really was as simple as that.

  She felt herself begin to relax a little as she joined in for the final lines of the carol. But then a jarring thought sideswiped her. For all her ponderings she hadn’t stopped to consider the situation with Jeb or the very large sum of money she had in her purse right now.

  With the pageant over, people began to rise from their seats and jostle one another on the way to the main doors. Raina felt Nolan’s hand at her elbow, steadying her in the crush as they filed out of their row of seats. Raina turned to him.

  “I have to go out the back and collect JJ. Please don’t rush off. I know he’s going to want to see you.”

  “And you? Do you want to see me?” Nolan asked, pulling
Raina to one side so the crowd could eddy past them without bumping them again.

  “I’ll be honest—I really don’t know. Part of me says, yes, but—”

  “I understand. If you’d rather, you can make my apologies to JJ.”

  She could see the hurt in his eyes, watched the light in them dim a little. It made up her mind.

  “Come back to our house for a hot chocolate with JJ. He’s going to take some time to unwind before getting off to bed tonight anyway.”

  Nolan looked at her and she saw the slight curl at the edges of his lips. “Are you sure? I understand if you—”

  “No.” It was her turn to interrupt him. “I’m sure. Look, he’s waiting. I’ll see you back at the house, okay?”

  “I’ll wait for you in the parking lot,” Nolan said in a voice that brooked no argument. “And I’ll follow you home.”

  Knowing he’d be there, waiting in the darkness outside, made Raina feel warm inside. And when Jeb showed up for his money, either outside the hall or later, back at her house, she’d deal with it then. Actually, thinking about it, having Nolan handy might make the whole process go more smoothly. She doubted Jeb would try anything stupid with another person there.

  “Okay, that’s good of you. Thank you.”

  Later, with JJ in tow and wrapped up again in his winter coat and beanie, they walked quickly to the car. As good as his word, Nolan had pulled up his SUV alongside hers and was waiting in the frigid air.

  “Did you see me, No’an?” JJ asked excitedly as they approached the car.

  “I did, champ. You were great.”

  Her little boy’s smile made Raina glad she’d asked Nolan back to the house. JJ had had enough of her short-tempered company this week. Goodness only knew, if Nolan hadn’t been there tonight, she wouldn’t have thought twice about taking JJ home—no doubt kicking and screaming—over the costume issue.

  She looked around the parking lot for Jeb. But among all the families loading their preschoolers into their cars and saying bye to their friends, there was no sign of him. Maybe he’d turn up at the house, she decided as she drove along the road toward home. She flicked her eyes to the rearview mirror, reassured by the sight of Nolan’s vehicle following her at a safe distance. She was all over the place as far as he was concerned. If only she could trust her heart and they could discover exactly where this complicated relationship of theirs could go. But she’d trusted her heart before and look where that had landed her. She didn’t want to ever go through that again.