The Virgin's Guide to Misbehaving

by Jessica Clare

  Her phone buzzed with another text while she was in the parking lot of the camera store, and she grabbed it eagerly. It was a picture this time, of Rome in one of the paintball jumpsuits, twin stripes of black face paint under his eyes. He had a paintball gun slung over his shoulders. As she admired the photo, another message from him popped up.

  You like?

  Too much clothing, she sent back.

  Oh man, he sent back a minute later. I should have known that I created a monster. You’re asking for dick pics, aren’t you?

  No!!!

  You sure?

  I’m sure! Well . . . if you send one, I won’t complain. But I’m not sending anything back!

  Tease.

  He continued to text her, distracting her from her shopping. It was a good distraction, though, and she was humming as she purchased darkroom chemicals and paper. The candlelight photos she’d taken of Rome would be developed by hand. From start to finish, he’d be all hers. Maybe she’d put them in a scrapbook that she could pull out and look at from time to time.

  Of course, that sounded horribly spinsterish, didn’t it? Elise frowned to herself. Putting pictures of a guy in a scrapbook made it sound like she was planning for a future alone instead of enjoying what she had in the present. It seemed like mentally she still couldn’t shake the fact that she was surprised someone wanted her.

  It felt like there should be a catch somewhere. It wasn’t supposed to be that easy in real life, was it? You didn’t go up to a guy, ask him to sleep with you, and start dating instead. That sort of thing just didn’t happen.

  Her phone lit up with another text while she stared at it.

  You coming out to the ranch?

  It took her a moment to realize that the text wasn’t from Rome, but from her brother. I was. What’s up?

  We have some guys coming by this afternoon. Wanted to do some action shots for the paintball brochure if you can bring your equipment.

  Can do. Her brother was being a little picky about the shots, but she didn’t mind. It gave her an excuse to stay in Bluebonnet, and it made her feel wanted. That was better than taking pictures of trees and lake shots while hanging out with her parents.

  Truth be told, she rather liked being on her own while in Bluebonnet. Maybe it was time to move out on her own after all . . . And then what? Sit at home in her apartment by herself? How would she pay the bills? Ask her parents? She and Beth Ann had toyed with the idea of doing pinup photo shoots, but that would only work if she stayed in Bluebonnet, and she wasn’t sure the town was big enough to support a photography business. And was that what she really wanted to do? Hadn’t she played with the idea of being a magazine photographer? There was a big difference between that and taking senior photos.

  Elise hadn’t figured out all the details yet.

  Her phone buzzed again. Grant. And I need another favor.

  Oh?

  I want you to go thrift shopping with Brenna. Make sure she doesn’t buy anything hideous. Tell her you hate everything. You know Mother probably wants a big wedding.

  Yes, but Brenna probably wants to dress up like Elvis.

  Hence my problem. I’m stuck in the middle. Come help your brother out.

  She chuckled. What are sisters for?

  • • •

  “I can’t wait to start popping some tags!” Brenna bounded out of Elise’s rental, her enormous purse slung over her shoulder as she headed for the sidewalk of the shopping strip and made a beeline for the ugly storefront that had “Thrift Store & Consignment” soaped onto the window.

  Elise groaned and followed her in. Brenna was in high spirits, despite the fact that they’d driven for a half hour and Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” had played on endless repeat the entire time while Brenna’s pug squatted and peed on the floorboards of the car and whined in fear. Elise wasn’t very fond of that dog, and had suggested leaving it at home, to which Brenna had acted as if Elise had suggested they let the dog play in traffic.

  Elise herself wasn’t in a very good mood. She’d driven out to the ranch, but Brenna had tackled her before she’d been able to go in and sneak a peek at Rome to satisfy her eyes. That had put her in a funk. Combine that with the fact that he hadn’t texted her in hours? Double funk.

  Puppy pee on the floorboards? Triple funk.

  But Brenna turned and gave her such an excited look, Elise’s spirits lifted just a bit. “Isn’t this fun?”

  “It is,” Elise lied, smiling and checking her phone one last time before sliding it into her pocket. “Where’s your dog?”

  Brenna winked and pointed at her oversized purse. “He’s in here.”

  “Are you sure you’re allowed to bring him in?” Elise glanced at the front door of the thrift store.

  Brenna snorted. “Rich ladies do it all the time. Besides, Gollum’s already peed, so he’ll be fine for at least a half hour.”

  “Great,” Elise murmured, and followed Brenna inside.

  The interior of the shop was small and dirty, and immediately Elise wanted to leave. The smell of dust was overwhelming, and the woman behind the counter barely glanced at them before returning to texting on her phone. “You ladies let me know if you need help with anything,” she called out.

  “Oh wow,” exclaimed Brenna, heading for a nearby rack. “Look at all this great stuff!” She pulled out a T-shirt with a panda on it and held it out to Elise. “You should get this.”

  Elise took it from her and glanced at it. “It’s not my size.”

  “I know, but it’s my size and then I can borrow it.” Brenna gave Elise a beaming smile.

  Oh yeah. Grant had warned her about Brenna’s idiosyncrasies. That Brenna didn’t like to actually own things . . . but she loved to borrow. Elise flipped the tag on the shirt and then sighed. It was cheap, at least. “All right. Is there anything else I want to get here?”

  Brenna shrugged. “I was thinking about having the wedding colors be orange and pink. What do you think?”

  “I think that sounds . . . hideous?”

  “Me too.” She grinned. “And it’ll clash with my purple bangs. And then Grant won’t hate on my idea of heading down to the courthouse.”

  “It’s not Grant’s idea as much as it is Mom’s,” Elise commented, following Brenna as she wandered through the store. “She’s just really excited to have a new daughter-in-law.”

  “Your mom is sweet, but weddings are really a waste of money,” Brenna said, then pulled another T-shirt off the rack and held it up skeptically to Elise. “Do you like this shirt?”

  “I . . . guess?” It was cute enough—pink, with a ruffle across the neckline and spaghetti straps for sleeves. She’d never wear it, though. The scar on her back would be totally visible. “It’s the wrong season for a tank top, isn’t it?”

  Brenna shrugged. “We could always add an orange skirt to this and voilà, wedding gear.” She checked the tag. “Besides, it’s dirt cheap.” She handed it to Elise, who took it.

  She should have guessed when Grant had tried to give her his credit card that she’d be the one buying everything today.

  “Oooh, check that out.” Brenna wandered over to a mannequin and fingered a fringed black vest with a deep vee-cut front and what looked like a lace-up corset on the waist. “You should buy that. It’s totally slutty.”

  Elise stared at the article of clothing. “Um. What would you wear under that?”

  “Nothing,” Brenna said, and gestured at her boobs, pushing them up. “You just jiggle your shit under the nose of every man who comes by.”

  And what on earth made Brenna think that sounded a bit like Elise? “Um, I think I’ll pass.”

  “You sure? It’d look hot on a date.” And Brenna gave her a knowing look.

  Elise felt a flush climbing her face. She tugged her hair over her cheek awkwardly. “Um.”

  “Oh, come on. Don’t sit there and tell me you’re not dating anyone. You totally have the ‘I had a good fuck last night’ look on your face.
”

  Her eyes widened in shock. “What?”

  “Yeah. I told Grant it’s pretty clear you’re getting some, and that’s why you’re sticking around Bluebonnet. He blustered and huffed a little, but in the end, he’s happy for you. That’s one reason why we’re out today, you know.” Brenna gave Elise an incredibly obvious wink. “I’m supposed to dig out from you who you’re seeing so Grant can do the whole ‘big brother’ thing.”

  “I’m not seeing anyone,” Elise protested, but the argument sounded weak, even to herself.

  “Oh please. You are a terrible liar. Look at how red your face is.”

  Elise ducked her head in embarrassment.

  “And now you’re staring at the floor. Typical avoidance reaction. You know what this means.”

  Elise looked up, forcing herself to make eye contact with Brenna even though it was killing her to do so. “What?”

  “It means I’m going to have to start guessing.” Brenna waggled her eyebrows at her.

  “Please don’t.”

  To Elise’s relief, the puppy in Brenna’s purse started whining, immediately distracting her. Brenna pulled him out and gave Elise a quick glance. “I think I’m going to take him outside to piddle. He might have the runs from breakfast.”

  It was strange to wish diarrhea on a puppy, but Elise was rather hoping for something like that so Brenna would remain distracted. “I think I’ll just pay for these while you do that.”

  They separated and Elise headed to the register. The woman at the counter seemed to take an exceptionally long time with each. Elise paid for the shirts, pressing a hand to her cheeks to try and calm down a bit. Her face felt overheated and flushed. So Brenna knew she was seeing someone. That shouldn’t be embarrassing, right? But Rome didn’t want Grant to know, so she had to keep it a secret somehow.

  She just needed to somehow misdirect Brenna. That wouldn’t be easy, given that Elise’s every emotion showed on her face. She thanked the clerk, took the bag, and slowly headed back outside to rejoin Brenna, determined to keep a poker-faced expression.

  “All done?” Brenna asked, squatting next to the fat puppy currently toddling on the sidewalk.

  “Yes,” Elise said, and handed the bag to Brenna, since they both knew that was who the shirts were really for. “Think you can clean these for me?” She lied. “I don’t have a washing machine at the bed-and-breakfast.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” Brenna said cheerily, swiping up the shirts.

  They got back into the car, Brenna fussing over her puppy, and Elise thought she was home free until she backed out of the space and Brenna spoke again.

  “So, I’ve been giving some thought as to whom you might be seeing here in Bluebonnet.”

  “He’s not in Bluebonnet,” Elise said hastily, forcing herself to concentrate on the road. “Remember that I said I didn’t like anyone in Bluebonnet?”

  “Yeah, but you’re still staying in town, right?”

  She shot a glance over at Brenna, who was distracted with her puppy, kissing its ugly face. “I’m staying at the bed-and-breakfast, yes.”

  “So . . . there’re cheaper places down the highway.”

  “I like Emily’s place.”

  “Yeah, but if you were seeing someone from outside, you’d probably spend more time out of town. But every time I call or Grant calls, you’re in Bluebonnet. Which tells me something’s keeping you here. And besides, you just admitted there is someone. You said he’s not staying in Bluebonnet, which means there is a he.”

  Elise chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously.

  “So that tells me that I’m on the right track,” Brenna said. “Which leads me to about four different guys I can think of.”

  “Maybe I’m not dating anyone. Maybe I just got a . . . um . . .” Oh hell, she couldn’t even say the word aloud.

  “Vibrator?” Brenna giggled, the sound gleeful. “Yeah right. Besides, I don’t see you walking into a sex store and buying one.”

  Elise’s face felt hot again and she concentrated on the road. “Did you want to go to another thrift store? There’s one the next town over, I think—”

  “It’s not a vibe,” Brenna declared. “Though if you want to go by a sex shop while we’re out, I’m game. I’d love to buy something that would blow Grant’s mind. Maybe an anal wand.”

  Elise cringed. “Please don’t mention ‘anal wand’ and my brother in the same sentence.”

  Brenna just giggled again. “I guess that’s a no. Anyway. Four guys.” She held her fingers up and wiggled them in the periphery of Elise’s vision. “And Pop is one of them, but I’m guessing he’s way too old for you.”

  Colt’s father? Elise pictured him, all gut and whiskery chin and trucker cap. “He’s nice, but no.”

  “That’s what I thought. Which leads me to Berry, Colt’s brother. And unless you’ve got a total hard-on for mullets paired with Duck Dynasty beards, I think we can rule out pretty much anyone in Colt’s family after all.”

  “Um.”

  Brenna peered at her face, then sat back. “You’re not all flushed. It’s not one of them.”

  “It might be,” Elise said, trying to deflect. Rome was going to kill her if she told Brenna. He was going to be furious. She bit her lip. “Please stop guessing.”

  “Nope. Just getting warmed up,” Brenna said. “Now, there’s Miguel that works behind the bar at Maya Loco, and he’s a hot piece of prime meat, but I think he’s got a girlfriend. Unless you chased her off.” And Brenna stared at Elise’s face. “Nope, no reaction. Not Miguel. Which leads me to my final guess.”

  “Oh?” Elise felt coiled and tense, her hands tight on the steering wheel. Here it comes.

  “That cute young fireman with the tight ass.” And Brenna peered at her face again, watching.

  Elise relaxed, almost exhaling with utter relief. She hadn’t guessed right. “I’ll never say.” She looked over at Brenna and smiled, full of relief.

  A sly look crossed Brenna’s face. “Uh huh.”

  “What?” Elise smiled.

  “I texted Emily while you were inside the thrift shop. Wanna guess what she told me?”

  Oh shit. Elise felt her face get hot immediately, and it was made worse by Brenna’s gleeful laugh. “Oh my god, I was right! You’re totally nailing Rome!”

  Elise felt her shoulders hunch, and she wanted to hide under the seat of the car. Not a good idea, considering she was driving. “I’m not.”

  “You totally are. Look at your face. You look like you want to throw up!”

  “Would I look like I wanted to throw up if we were talking about a guy I was dating?” Elise tried to divert.

  “If we’re talking about you? Yes! You always look like you want to puke when you get embarrassed, and you’re embarrassed about dating Rome!” She turned in her seat and bounced.

  “Emily said she wouldn’t tell!”

  “Well, she didn’t, really.” Brenna shot her a smug look. “I texted her and said ‘How long have Elise and Rome been fucking?’ and she spilled all the beans. It was a total guess on my part, but I’m awesome with guessing, looks like. Grant is totally going to shit a brick when he finds out.”

  “Brenna,” Elise said, her voice sharper than she realized. “Please don’t say anything.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Grant’s a little overprotective as it is. You know how he gets.”

  “Mmm, you might have a point.” Brenna tapped her chin. “That might be bad.”

  “Please, Brenna. Please. Don’t tell him.”

  Brenna sighed. “All right. It’ll be our secret.”

  Elise gave a small whimper of relief.

  • • •

  At Rome’s suggestion, they’d set up a large supply shed near the paintball course, and after the dry run this morning, they’d decided to go ahead and start moving over some of the equipment. Rome was responsible for setting up shelves and organizing things in an efficient way, but he didn’t mind. Wor
k was work, and he was glad for it. He’d just hung a large pegboard on the back wall of the shed and was using the power screwdriver to keep it in place when Grant came storming over the hill.

  “Lozada,” he called, his voice furious. “I need to talk to you.”

  Well, shit. Rome couldn’t say that he hadn’t been anticipating this day, but it had arrived a little sooner than he’d hoped for. With a sigh, he finished drilling in the screw, turned, and headed out of the shed.

  Grant was there, dressed in his slacks and button-down shirt like he always wore, glasses perched on his nose. It was clear, Rome thought, who was the boss around here and who was the grunt, and Grant never let anyone forget that. The man’s jaw was set so hard that he looked like he was going to break a tooth, though. He was furious about something.

  Rome could guess what.

  “Yeah?” Rome said, wiping his brow. Even though it was cool outside, the shed got stifling fast. They’d have to find a way to keep it cool in the summer, he thought idly. If he was still here at that time.

  “You and I need to have a talk,” Grant said, his voice tight.

  Here we go. “Shoot.”

  “Brenna just texted me and tells me that you’re seeing my sister.”

  Ah hell. Rome gave Grant a level gaze, saying nothing.

  “Well? Are you?”

  Rome considered for a moment. “I don’t know if that’s anyone’s business but mine and Elise’s.”

  Grant’s face darkened. “My sister is young, and impressionable, and very fragile—”

  “She’s an adult,” Rome said bluntly. Hell, he made Elise sound like she was made of glass. She was human, not fine china. “She can make her own decisions.”

  “She doesn’t have a lot of life experience—”

  “I know. That’s why she came to me.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, she came to you?”

  Damn it. That had been the wrong thing to say to her overprotective brother. “That’s Elise’s business, I’m sorry to say. Not yours.”