by Amy Field
“We’ll be going back home but please tell us if anything happens. Maria it wasn’t your fault so I hope you don’t think it was.” Her mother said quietly.
The two of them hugged her and Maria cried. They continued to hug for a while and then her parents kissed her, leaving.
“They took it well,” Jaime commented.
Maria had forgotten that she was there and now she glared at Jaime.
“I still haven’t forgiven you,” Maria said.
“I had no choice. Maria, as your emergency contact, you know how panicked I was when they called me and told me you were in the hospital? I thought you were going to lose the baby or something worse!” Jaime said.
“I am sorry, Jaime, but I would have preferred to not tell them.”
“I know but it’s better that you did. I can’t believe your sister is shameless enough to go on a relationship with Matt. That is so callous and selfish of her.”
“As long as she is happy,” Maria said too casually.
“You are not that good Maria. Don’t hide it. Tell me the truth.”
“It’s better to let it go, I don’t want this to affect the baby,” Maria said.
“Fine,” Jaime said. She got a sly look in her eyes, “What about that doctor?”
“What doctor?” Maria said nonchalantly.
“The handsome doctor.”
“Ryan?”
“Did he ask you out?”
Maria shook her head and Jaime groaned.
“He totally has the hots for you,” Jaime said.
“Don’t say it like that,” Maria blushed.
“He likes you! That’s the truth and I think you should go for it.”
“I am pregnant, I don’t think he is that open minded.”
“That’s a stupid excuse and you know it,” Jaime said bluntly.
Maria stood up and headed for the kitchen. The baby kicked then and she wondered if the baby was agreeing with Jaime or her.
“Maria you shouldn’t push away any opportunity that comes your way. If he likes you, go for it.”
“Don’t be silly. As a matter of fact, I am seeing him tomorrow.” Maria said.
“Dress nice.” Jaime said.
Maria laughed and decided that she would have to disagree with everything Jaime had said. She had no intention to lead him on or do anything stupid. But somehow she felt the excitement grow inside of her, it had been a while she had been out for dinner.
She couldn’t wait.
The date was something Maria hadn’t expected. She couldn’t deny it, it had been a date from him picking her up and paying for dinner.
He was dressed casually and she had put on the only dress that fit her. Even then, she felt wide as she opened the door to let him in but he said that she looked pretty. He didn’t bring flowers but he did make sure to ask her to take her jacket, in case it got cold.
Maria didn’t remember the last time someone had asked her to do that and it brought up her thought of Ryan. He was a good guy, he thought a lot about her health but she still wasn’t sure if it was because he actually loved her or if it was because he was just that way.
He took her to a nearby restaurant where he helped her order and made sure she ate everything. He chatted about other things and it got a bit more personal.
“How long have you been in the hospital?” she asked.
“About five years. I am thirty one.”
“Do you like your job?”
He nodded. “I do and that’s a surprise.”
“Why is that?”
“I didn’t always want to be a doctor, I had a rough childhood. My parents were rich and they let me do whatever I wanted which was the worst thing they could have done. I wasn’t a good kid most of the time and I dealt in things that I hate to think about but it did happen and I can’t change it.”
Maria noticed that he used parents in past tense and his next words confirmed it.
“When they died, I didn’t know what to do. They had left everything but I realized how solitary my life was and I wanted to make sure that it meant something. I was nineteen then so I worked my butt off to make sure I got into med school. I didn’t stop from them and kept going onwards with everything. I wasn’t going to give up and I am glad I am in this position.”
“That’s intense. I didn’t have the same story, you met my parents. I guess the only bad thing that ever happened to me was Matt and Celia.”
“It completely blindsided you didn’t it?” he said sympathetically.
“It did, I never expected Celia to do such a thing but I guess you don’t know people as you thought you did. They didn’t care about my feelings.”
“Have you told them?”
She shook her head.
“It’s your business,” Ryan said and she appreciated it. He wasn’t telling her to do what everyone was telling her to do which was something she could respect. They moved onto other topics but she felt a connection with him, stronger than before. She imagined that nineteen year old, filled with passion, the passion that had led him to become a doctor and she admired it. This showed that he was someone who was stubborn but hardworking.
Someone completely different from Matt.
Matt had always been lax about his job, he had always criticized the actors and she understood how overbearing he was in comparison to Ryan. Ryan seemed like a better person and Maria was glad, that though they weren’t dating, that they had met each other. She would have regretted it if she hadn’t met him and she wondered what it would have been like if she had met him before she met Matt, would she have gone for him?
She knew the thought was baseless. But it turned out to not be that when he drove her home.
When he pulled up in front of her house, she started getting out the car when he reached for her hand.
“Wait, I need to get something off my chest.”
Maria waited and he took a deep breath.
“Maria, I liked you from the moment I saw you. I know that’s a strange thing to say but you were in my head for a few days and since then, I couldn’t get you out. When I saw you again, I was too scared to ask your number and I regretted it. But by luck, I saw you for a third time and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. The week I spent with you showed me that you are caring and you have a heart of gold. I know that you have pain inside of you that you haven’t gotten rid of but Maria, I really do like you and I want to date you.”
Maria was overwhelmed by his confession and the serious look in his eyes. He was completely serious and she didn’t know what to do. Her feelings didn’t tell her to say no but she didn’t know if she could say yes either. Would it be fair? Could she move on while having Matt’s baby?
What about Matt? Would he hate her for it?
What did it matter?
At the look of confliction on her face, Ryan took her hand.
“You don’t have to answer me now, take your time. I promise to accept you and your baby. I don’t care if he is someone else’s. The baby is another person so don’t shoot me down.” His eyes pleaded for the chance and she was melting.
Maria couldn’t deny that she liked him too but she couldn’t say yes.
“Okay,” she said softly.
Ryan smiled and hugged her softly. Maria’s hands were around him and she closed her eyes. For now, she would enjoy this feeling.
She wasn’t going to back down.
Chapter Six
She was in her bed when the pains came.
She was sitting up working on a presentation for work. She had started working from home and she was doing her best. Ryan had told her not to work too hard but she didn’t listen to him which he always sighed over. He was always at her place and he left late at night, making sure that she had eaten. It was one of the things that she loved about him. He was a caregiver and he didn’t try to hide it. He made sure that she was alright at all times but he wasn’t pressuring her in any way. If she voiced her troubles, he listened to her.
Yes,
he did have the bad habit of being stubborn but it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Maria was saving the file when a jolt went through her and she doubled over. She knew immediately what it was, her due date had passed three days before. Immediately she reached for her cell and called Ryan.
He picked up on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Ryan, My contractions started,” she said through gritted teeth.
“I’ll be right there.”
A few minutes later, she heard the door and somehow managed to open it. Ryan was completely professional as he came in and helped her leave. It had to be his doctor training but it was in the car that she saw his demeanor crack. She cried out in pain and he reached for her hand, holding it tight as she cried out.
The drive was mercifully small and he almost carried her inside. The hospital staff was helpful, the nurses wheeling her to the maternity room. She didn’t let go of Ryan’s hand once and he went with her. He was by her bedside as she cried out during her contractions, soothing her and counting the seconds between the contractions. Through her pain, she was grateful that he was there. He helped a lot and she wanted to thank him but the pain was a pressing matter.
Two hours after the pains began, her water broke. Ryan was confused when she told him that her water had broken.
“That’s too early.” he frowned.
Regardless he went over to get a nurse who wheeled her into the delivery room. This time Ryan tried to stay behind but she wouldn’t let him.
“Ryan, I need you!” she shouted out, mid contractions and he was by her side immediately.
The curtain was drawn and he was beside her as the contractions ripped through her. She screamed out many times and the whole process was a haze but finally she felt the being that had inhabited her body for nine months leave her and she fell back, exhausted.
It was a second later when she was aware that there was no crying. The baby wasn’t crying. Before she could process it, Ryan had already taken the lifeless baby from the other doctor. It was his face that made it real, Ryan was crying as if it was his baby and the baby was lost forever.
Maria sniffed and tears dropped down her cheeks.
“No…please! Ryan don’t tell me!” she begged.
“I am sorry Miss Adams but the baby…” the delivery doctor was speaking but she didn’t hear a word. She was looking at Ryan who looked devastated but her pain was much greater. She couldn’t lose the baby, it was everything she had.
At that moment, it seemed as if her thoughts had transferred to him and Ryan looked down at the baby. He gently pried the baby’s mouth open and began to blow air inside.
“Dr. Stressor, the baby is gone,” the delivery doctor was saying but Ryan didn’t listen.
He continued but when there was no effect, he did something that made everyone gasp, he held the baby upside down. Maria was going to shout at him when something white oozed out of the baby’s mouth, forming a puddle on the ground.
Like a miracle, a cry rang out and Maria couldn’t believe it until the baby was handed to her. Her baby was alive! Ryan had somehow brought her baby back.
The baby boy cried vigorously at his mother, almost angrily but she knew it was because he was hungry. He couldn’t know that he had just been brought back from the dead. That was something only she and Ryan and all the people in the room knew.
Ryan was beside her and he was stroking the baby’s head.
“Thank you Ryan,” she whispered. “For everything,”
“It was my pleasure,” he whispered back.
“I want you to be here, with us. For everything that is to come,” she said.
Ryan was taken aback but it had never been clearer in her mind. She wanted Ryan to be there, he was the person she wanted. He deserved to be there. He had earned it and she needed him. It had taken some time for her to understand but now she knew that she couldn’t live without him.
Maria smiled at him once and then fell back, her eyes closing.
Two months later…
The baby’s cries echoed throughout the apartment and the two people in the bed turned over.
“It’s your turn.” Maria groaned.
Ryan obediently got up and went to tend to the baby in the next room. Maria didn’t fall asleep, she turned over and stared at the wall, thinking of how perfect her life was. It was everything she had hoped for and more. They had taken slow steps in their relationship but it had reached the point where they were both comfortable with each other and didn’t need to be careful around each other. Maria trusted Ryan completely and they had all but moved in. Ryan stayed over sometimes and he helped take care of Steven. Ryan was infinitely fond of Steven and it warmed Maria’s heart to see that. He was the father figure that Steven needed.
One thing that worried her about their relationship was that while she was committed to the relationship, some of her resentment still lingered and she was scared that she would be unable to let Ryan in. Ryan hadn’t said anything about it and he took care of her, she loved being with him but she didn’t know if she was in love with or not.
It was terrifying.
There was something else that was bothering her and it was the issue of telling Matt.
After she had told her parents that she would tell Matt after the baby’s birth, they had let it go but they pestered her about it immediately afterwards. The gift they sent for Steven had a card reminding her to honor her promise but the thought put a sour taste in her mouth. There was no way she was going to tell Matt. Her baby was her own.
Ryan didn’t take her side, he had urged her to tell Matt to as to avoid any conflicts in the future but that was the only thing they had a fight on. Ryan agreed to let it go and they hadn’t talked about it. Since then, she had allowed herself to fall into this idyllic lifestyle with him. She had gone back to work and they had made their schedule work. He took care of Steven when she was late in coming home and she usually went to visit him in the hospital. They made it work.
Ryan came back to the room and got into bed. He wrapped his hands around her, pulling her close.
“He was hungry, I put him to sleep,” he muttered in her ear and went off to sleep.
It was one of the things about him that surprised her. His ability to fall asleep at any time. Maria smiled and fell asleep as well, hoping that every day could be like this for the rest of her life.
“How is my godson?” Jaime cooed.
Maria had to laugh as she watched her best friend take care of her baby. Steven giggled as Jaime held him afloat and Jaime took the bottle from Maria to feed him. Ryan had gone to the hospital and it was one of her free days. Jaime had been a constant presence since Steven was born. She approved of Ryan and had even commented on how much Steven looked like Maria. Like her parents, she had urged her to talk to Matt but she hadn’t mentioned it recently.
“You act like you don’t see him every day.” Maria said.
“I didn’t see him yesterday.”
Steven was eagerly drinking his milk which delighted Jaime. As she held Steven in her arms, she turned to Maria.
“Motherhood suits you,” she said.
“I guess it does. I have never been this happy before,” Maria admitted.
“I don’t doubt it, you are positively glowing,” Jaime grinned. “I think Ryan is a good influence on you,”
“He is,” Maria smiled.
“I told you that he was good,” Jaime said, satisfied about her hunch. “I like him much better.”
Maria could see Matt’s flaws as they were no longer together but she couldn’t forget that she had loved him once upon a time. She hadn’t compared Ryan to Matt but Jaime’s words made her think about it for a second. She didn’t want to delve too much into it so she pushed it away, taking Steven back from Jaime and helping him burp.
“I could have done that.” Jaime pouted.
She shrugged and rocked Steven, whose eyes began to close.
“How’s work going?” J
aime asked.
“It’s good. Everything is good.”
“I don’t mean to hurt you but are you over Matt?”
Maria took a long time before answering.
“I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I am being unfair on Ryan but I also can't let him go. I don’t know what to feel really.”
“I am sure you’ll solve it. It’s not easy,” Jaime said wisely.
“Says the person who has never been in a relationship,” Maria teased.
Jaime scowled playfully but Steven had fallen asleep so Maria took him to his cot and lay him down. She went back to Jaime where the two of them relaxed on the couch, chatting and catching up on old shows. It was something that reminded her of the days before when they used to spend ages together and she was nostalgic.
It didn’t last long as the doorbell rang. Maria went to open the door but there was no one there. There was a stack of letters on the ground and she shook her head in exasperation. Her mail man had the habit of leaving the mail there if she was late in opening the door. She picked up the letters and was surprised to see that one of them was heavy. She didn’t have to turn it over to know what it was.
Maria froze completely and as if she was in a trance, she opened it and stared at the invitation. Her hands began to shake, the card slipping from her fingers as the name of the bride and groom ran through her mind.
“What’s wrong?” Jaime had come to see her and Maria couldn’t say anything.
Jaime saw the card lying on the ground and picked it up, cursing when she saw the names.
Maria was lost in her thoughts. The sentence repeated in her mind.
Matt Denver and Celia Adams humbly welcome you to attend their wedding….
Chapter Six
“You can’t be serious.” Ryan said in disbelief.
“I want to go.”
“You want to go to the wedding of your ex-fiancé, who left you standing at the altar?”
“It’s my sister’s wedding too,” Maria defended weakly.
Ryan looked at her exasperated and sat down on the bed. Maria leaned against the wall, grateful that Steven was sleeping. She wouldn’t have wanted to wake him and let him hear the fight they were having. Maria knew she was crazy for wanting to go to the wedding but after the pain had passed, she understood that it was something she had to do. She couldn’t not go.
