Fast As You (Reapers MC: Conroe Chapter Book 2)

by Bijou Hunter

  “Oh, you want it now?” Bailey asks, shooting him bitchy frowns that he refuses to acknowledge.

  Dad peers through the screen into the house. “Are you reneging on the offer?”

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  “I’m sorry you’re flustered by new things,” Mom tells Bailey. “Many of my clients have the same problem.”

  “Are you calling me defective?”

  Oh, shit. Mom loses her smile. “Are you calling my clients defective?”

  Bailey realizes she’s crossed a line and mumbles, “I’m not saying anything about anything.”

  Sensing my family and Bubba’s have hit an impasse, I lift my dog up and smile. “This is Freki.”

  “Is that the kind of thing you’ll name my grandchildren? Bailey asks.

  Dad smirks. “You should be aware that Soso might be part Sasquatch. A weird name ought to be the least of your concerns.”

  “I don’t even know what’s happening anymore,” an exasperated Bailey tells her husband.

  “You won the argument, and now we’re going inside to eat that thing you made.”

  “Spoonbread is a real thing, Nick.”

  “I know. You tried something new, and I’m sure it’s delicious,” he says before adding in a quieter voice, “If not, we’ll order pizza.”

  “I don’t want to throw away food.”

  “Buzz will eat it.”

  Bailey smiles. “My littlest boy will eat anything.”

  “I’ll eat some too,” Bubba says, but Bailey waves off his comment.

  “Don’t suck up.”

  Bubba gives me a hilarious pout, and I hand him the dog. “She’s right. You should stop caring about her approval.”

  Bailey instantly changes courses and reaches for Bubba. “You can have it all, baby.”

  Bubba gives me a wink, loving how I play with his mom. Bailey might run roughshod over these men, but she’s pretty easy to manipulate.

  My mother enters the house and compliments its size and girth before saying, “I thought someone mentioned alcohol. I strongly believe the only way we’ll ever learn to like each other is through a great deal of booze.”

  “That’s the secret to the semi-friendship between Cooper and Hayes,” Keanu says, glancing around the house’s decor. “You people really like brown.”

  “It’s masculine,” Bailey mutters.

  “No, I’m masculine,” Dad says. “This is just brown.”

  Bailey realizes she’s hitting a wall with my father, so she focuses on my brother. “You’re Cap’s little friend.”

  Keanu glances at me, and says in Korean, “I’m very sorry, little one, but your future mother-in-law is likely evil.”

  “Your pity is greatly appreciated, beloved brother.”

  Bailey puffs out her chest, ready to give us shit, but then seems to remember her brother’s name was mentioned. “Wait, do you have any gossip about Cooper and Hayes?”

  “Get me drunk, and I’ll spill,” Keanu says, wearing a smirk. “Trust that nothing happens in the Hayes family that I don’t hear about. I mean nothing. I even know the women’s menstrual cycles.”

  “Does Hayes know you know?”

  “I don’t think he cares. Angus assumes everyone is obsessed with him.”

  “Cooper is the same way.”

  “I have an obnoxious brother too,” Dayton tells Bailey. “You’ve met him. Now that we have all this amazing fucking stuff in common, let’s get drunk.”

  “This way,” Nick gestures toward the butler’s pantry.

  “Camden was always my least favorite twin,” Bailey tells Dad, and I get the feeling those two will bond over their shared irritation with their families’ golden children.

  Bubba doesn’t head inside with the others. Instead, he wants to let Freki run around after his car ride. I smile at how quickly he adopted my dog and birds into his life.

  This hunk is the one. I don’t care how young we are or how fast things move, Bubba Davies is the only man for me.

  THE RUNAWAY

  Soso and I decide to hold off telling my mother that we’ve picked a house. We found it on our first full day in Conroe after I visited Butch in the hospital and made an appearance at Morty’s Pub.

  Weeks ago, I worked on this rental house after we bought it dirt cheap in an estate sale. New electrical and plumbing. Most of the drywall was replaced too. Refinished the wood floors and installed new glass in the bay window out front. Since ranch-style homes aren’t my taste, I never once considered living here during my time fixing up the place.

  But I see it in a different light when I visit with Soso. I’m less focused on the style and more on the seclusion. We’re not far from where my cousin Scarlet and her wife Phoebe live with their five kids. They have a farm while this property sits on just over an acre. It’s private enough with a distant neighbor on the west side and open land on the east. Across the road is a town park, and behind us is farmland. Ula and Bjork can scream day and night without anyone giving us trouble over the noise.

  Despite being basic, boxy, and beige, the ranch offers four bedrooms. That’s plenty of space for her family’s visits and our future kids. We won’t have to move again for years. I sense Soso requires stability. She only seemed laidback in Hickory Creek because she was in her element. I plan to help her regain that calm in her new home.

  We walk into the backyard and study the patio. “The flat land is perfect for an enclosed area for the birds. I’ll add heat and air to keep them comfortable.”

  Soso nearly tackles me when I talk about building a fancy atrium for the girls. She does push me into the house and rip open the button on my jeans.

  “We have security in the house. No need to get this on video,” I say, turning off the cameras. “Now, where were we?”

  We christened our home that day with a quickie against the kitchen counters. Next week, we’ll move in.

  But again, we don’t share this information with my mom, who remains extremely edgy after the wild last few weeks. The woman doesn’t need another reason to lose her shit.

  Especially not with Dayton, Harmony, and Keanu visiting.

  Mom’s spoonbread is a big nope, but our Kentucky bourbon saves the crappy dinner. I leave my parents and Soso’s in the kitchen where they enjoy their booze and wait for the pizza delivery.

  “Cooper’s very insecure,” I hear Mom telling Dayton.

  “I sensed that.”

  Changing moods immediately, Mom growls at him, “Don’t talk shit about my brother.”

  “Because he’s insecure and might cry?”

  “Yeah,” she says, laughing now.

  Mom might have downed too many shots of bourbon too fucking fast, but at least, she’s having fun.

  Soso and I use the quiet to carry in her belongings and organize them in my large bedroom. Important crap goes on one side, stuff that can wait for the move rests on the other. Freki follows us around, relieved to be out of the car.

  Soon, Soso uncovers the birdcage to wake Ula and Bjork. I’ve missed my pretty girls. Later, they can explore. For now, they’ll need to stay secure in the cage.

  “Frenchie might try to eat them,” I mutter, imagining the horrifying scenario.

  “To decrease their stress level, leaving them in the birdcage is the safest move. They’ve gone from a stranger’s house back to their house and now a few hours in the car. It’ll be good to keep them quiet and isolated from others until we have a stable location.”

  “You’re going to be a great mom one day.”

  “And you’ll be an indulgent father,” she says, and her gaze holds mine.

  “I was spoiled as a kid. I know no other way.”

  “I was spoiled too, but my mom knew when to crack the whip.”

  Harmony proves her protective nature when she corners us in the kitchen after the pizzas arrive.

  “I researched this area, and it’s full of caves. Very treacherous,” Harmony says, slurring her words. “You could have
trolls, baby.”

  “Better than crabs,” Buzz whispers, causing Soso and me to snicker.

  “I’m serious!” Harmony yells and then covers her mouth. “Bourbon makes me loud and belligerent. I prefer tequila.”

  “I’ll be careful,” Soso promises her mom.

  “Carry two forms of weapons at all times. These aren’t friendly trolls. They’ll eat you.”

  Harmony’s face clenches, and tears begin to flow. “My baby,” she whimpers, and Soso hugs her. They comfort each other for a few minutes until Dayton steps in and takes his wife’s hand.

  “We need a few minutes in our room,” he says, heading down the wrong hall for their guest room.

  Soso doesn’t correct him because she doesn’t know the house yet either. Buzz plays bellhop and guides our guests to a quiet place where Dayton can—I assume—fuck away his woman’s tears.

  “I’m a Tennessee girl, and my heart can’t really let that go,” Soso mumbles, looking ready to cry. She doesn’t, of course. My parents are watching her, and she doesn’t show weakness around strangers.

  I suddenly realize Keanu disappeared after he claimed his booze and finished gossiping about Hayes’ love of K-pop and Pong.

  “I’m going downstairs to hang out with the kids,” Buzz says, returning to the kitchen to swipe two pizza boxes and a bottle of soda. “Gram snuck in when no one was looking and is playing pool with Soso’s brother.”

  Suddenly, the kitchen is empty except for my parents, Soso, and me.

  “Your father is good people,” Mom announces.

  “My father?” I ask, looking at Pop.

  “No, hers. He was always the better twin.”

  “Damn straight,” Soso says and reaches for the bourbon. “No, I’m a bad drunk.”

  “Please,” I beg, “let me see what that looks like.”

  Grinning, Soso shakes her head. “Not when my mom’s already crying, and Dad hasn’t given his speech yet.”

  “What speech?”

  “The ‘people today aren’t as good as they were in the old days’ speech.”

  “He isn’t wrong,” Mom says. “People were better back in the old days.”

  Pop nods in a way that makes me think the bourbon’s doing the trick. “The music was better too.”

  Mom snaps her fingers. “We need music. That’s what we’re missing.”

  Soso studies me with her dark brown eyes, and I think about us moving into our own place. I feel like we’ve been waiting forever despite not even knowing her name two weeks ago.

  “Time is a myth,” she said while stoned one night at the triangle house. “Reality is... Um, something, something.”

  My woman’s quite profound when on mind-altering substances.

  “I thought you were going to put on Skynyrd,” Pop grumbles when Meat Loaf blasts from the speakers in the living room. “What about ‘Free Bird?’”

  “That’s our song!” Mom yells since she loses volume control when drunk. “Only we can listen to it.”

  Soso smiles at me. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” she teases. “My parents are down the hall fucking.”

  “I’m shocked my parents aren’t fucking too just so Mom can prove her relationship is as hot as your parents’ relationship. She’s very competitive.”

  “Not that fucking doesn’t sound fun, but I want to go to your room and play with the birds.”

  Leaning down, I nuzzle my nose against hers. “I miss our time at your house.”

  “Now, we’ll have a house of our own,” she says, gripping my shirt. “I’ll wake up every morning to this face.”

  We can’t rip each other’s clothes off, but our kiss gets intense before Mom knocks over one of Denny’s toys and the thing starts squawking a kiddie song.

  “I drank too much,” she tells Pop, who wraps her in his arms in a way that makes me think I might need to leave the room.

  “Why is everyone so horny?” Keanu asks, suddenly behind us.

  “Bourbon.”

  “But I drank a ton of that swill, and I’m not horny at all.”

  Soso cups Keanu’s face and smiles softly. “You were downstairs with a bunch of kids, so, you know, good on you for not sporting a boner, bro.”

  Keanu smiles at his sister, and I’m struck by guilt at knowing I’m taking her away from the people she loves.

  There’s no other option, though. I left Conroe for less than two weeks, and Butch got shot, Buzz decided to grow a goatee, and Mom claims she’s aged ten years. These people need me.

  “I know,” Soso says when I just watch her.

  I’m not sure if she really does know, but I appreciate her comfort.

  A few minutes later, Keanu, Soso, and I sit on the front porch while Frenchie and Freki create a wary truce once the little guy learns his place.

  “Your dog is bullying my dog,” Soso says with her mouth full of pizza.

  Keanu shakes his head. “Naw, they’re just falling in love.”

  “They’re both boys.”

  “Love doesn’t see dong. It’s all about the hearts, Num-Num.”

  Soso leans her head on his shoulder while taking my hand. We remain quiet until Mom starts screaming in the house. Running inside, we realize she’s singing, and our ears would have been better off if we stayed outside.

  “Meat Loaf,” Dayton announces while entering the room with a now-calm Harmony. “Nice, Johansson.”

  Mom stops squawking long enough to bow before losing her balance and ending up in Pop’s lap. I sense this location was her goal all along.

  “I’m very nervous that we’ll end up witnessing the public fucking of at least one set of our parents tonight,” I mutter.

  Keanu cocks an eyebrow. “Now you understand how I feel whenever I’m around the Hayes family and booze.”

  “You,” Dayton says, pointing at me.

  “Good luck,” Keanu teases as his father struts drunkenly over to me.

  “I’ve been thinking about you and my baby girl. Been thinking real hard.”

  I fight laughter at how his face scrunches up at the mention of “thinking real hard” as if his brain seizes at the suggestion.

  “I’m sure you have been, sir.”

  “You didn’t impress me when we met.”

  “My lack of a shirt seemed to have bothered you.”

  “Probably, but I’ve been thinking. Thinking real hard.”

  Harmony nods nearby as if she and her hubby were thinking real hard together.

  “Not a lot of men are worthy of my baby girl. I only have one, you know? She’s something special.”

  “Thanks, Daddy,” Soso says as he hugs her.

  “I can’t have her marrying a schmuck. I remember hearing a while back that Cooper’s oldest daughter was marrying a dentist and I thought he’d done a bad job as a father. That’s a low bar for a woman. At least, marry an orthodontist and get the big money.”

  “That’s a fine story, sir.”

  “I didn’t want you to be the one, but then Harmony pointed out how the Johanssons rival the Rutgers on generational cool. That’s why I’ve decided you are worthy. Not because I know shit about you but solely based on your last name. You’ll need to earn my respect, but you’ve got my blessing. Unless my daughter changes her mind, and then I’m kicking your ass.”

  Laughing, Soso hugs her father again.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Mom comes over and hugs me. “Dayton, you got a good one here. He’s very responsible. Always cleans his room and brushes his teeth.”

  Soso winks at me as my mother decides to finger-comb my hair. Pop meanwhile starts laughing and nearly passes out from it when Mom decides to use spit to clean pizza sauce from my lips.

  “He’s just so handsome,” Mom says, nearly ready to turn mama cat on me.

  “I can’t see it,” Dayton announces, eyeing me. “But I prefer blondes.”

  Harmony nods at this comment, but she’s so wasted she forgets to stop bouncing her head until
Keanu helps steady it.

  This is what the rest of the night is like.

  Mom alternates between wild displays of bravado—singing, dancing, wanting to have arm-wrestling contests—and bragging about how she gave birth to three manly sons. Finally, she cries over Butch and sings a song that starts with “Danny Boy” and ends with “Tuesday’s Gone.”

  Pop constantly laughs, finding her hilarious when he’s not subtly feeling her up. Dayton and Harmony wander around the living room, talking about how they sometimes braid each other’s hair. Keanu gets embarrassed and goes downstairs, but then decides he might miss something and returns to the family room. Twice, Buzz walks upstairs, sees the drunken mess, and realizes he’s better off with the kids and Gram.

  Soso and I sit in a chair and watch our parents work through their feelings regarding the recent changes. At one point, her dad and mine decide they need to fight because Pop was once a cage fighter and Dayton claims he’s gone soft. Keanu and I break that up.

  Then Harmony challenges my mother to a wrestling match in retaliation for Mom claiming her sister Sawyer is better than both of Harmony’s sisters. Soso pries the women apart.

  Finally, they settle down and play Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You” on repeat.

  By the time everyone retires to bed, our parents have come to a few understandings:

  1) Soso and I are the real deal, and we’ll make fantastic grandbabies for them.

  2) Bailey is the best Johansson of her generation while Dayton is the best Rutgers of his generation.

  3) Angus Hayes is too tall.

  4) Spoonbread is gross while pizza is perfection.

  5) And bourbon is mandatory at future visits.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE CONROE GETS A MAKEOVER

  THE BOHEMIAN

  As soon as my parents leave Conroe, I scramble to keep myself busy and distracted from my homesickness. Helping Sissy and Lily is the easiest solution. Not long after Lily and her newborn Byron arrive home, Butch is discharged. Sissy is overloaded with stress, so I help as much as I can. Of course, I don’t know anything about babies or gunshot wounds. I’m also a bad cook, but I do learn a few recipes for liquid meals.