Disco!

by Alan MacDonald

  For Nathaniel ~ D R

  For Reece Coggan and Tyra Barnes –

  thanks for the great story ideas! ~ A M

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1 Disco!

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  2 Great Escape!

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  3 Slave!

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Copyright

  Bertie’s head flopped forwards. It was Monday assembly and as usual Miss Skinner had been droning on for hours.

  “Now,” she said. “Listen carefully because Miss Darling has some exciting news.”

  Miss Darling stood up. “As you know we’re nearing the end of term,” she said. “And this year we are holding our very first Pudsley Prom Party!”

  Bertie looked up. What? A Prom Party? But they always watched a film at the end of the summer term. It was the one thing he looked forward to every year!

  “It’s going to be heaps of fun,” said Miss Darling. “There will be party food and games and prizes. And of course, you can’t have a prom without dancing.”

  Bertie groaned. Dancing? YUCK! It sounded like torture! Why couldn’t they watch The Blob from Planet Zog like last year?

  After assembly he trailed back to class with his friends.

  “A Prom Party?” he grumbled. “Who wants to go to a stupid prom?”

  “Lots of schools have them,” said Eugene.

  “My cousin arrived at his prom in a massive stretch limo,” said Darren.

  “Really?” said Bertie.

  He wouldn’t mind arriving in a limo, as long as he could choose who came in it. Obviously Know-All Nick could walk. But even so, it wouldn’t make the prom any more bearable.

  “Why’s there got to be dancing?” he complained.

  Bertie hated dancing. He always trod on people’s feet. His mum had once dragged him along to his sister’s dance class. Miss Foxtrot had made him wear ballet shoes and prance up and down on tippy toes. He wouldn’t be doing that again in a hurry.

  “It’ll be just like a school disco,” said Eugene. “I like dancing.”

  “Well, I don’t,” said Bertie. “And I’m not dancing with any girls! No way!”

  Darren smiled and glanced at Eugene. “It’s a prom, Bertie,” he said. “Surely you know about proms?”

  Bertie frowned. “Know what?”

  “That you have to take a girl,” said Darren. “Isn’t that right, Eugene?”

  “Do you?” Eugene gulped. It was news to him.

  Darren winked. “Course you do!” he said. “That’s the whole point.”

  Bertie had turned deathly white. Surely they couldn’t be serious?

  “TAKE A GIRL?” he said, almost choking. “You mean like – you go together?”

  “Yes,” said Darren. “But obviously you have to ask them first.”

  “ASK THEM?” said Bertie.

  “Of course,” said Darren. “You’ll need a partner or you won’t have anyone to dance with! So who are you going to ask?”

  Bertie looked as if he might pass out. How could Miss Darling do this to him? She actually expected him to ask a girl to the prom and then dance with her? It was too horrible for words! He felt sick just thinking about it.

  “No, no, I can’t,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I’m not doing it!”

  Darren shrugged. “Please yourself, but you’ll miss all the games and prizes – and the party food. And you know what they’ll make you do if you don’t go to the prom?”

  “What?” asked Bertie.

  “Extra maths with Miss Boot,” said Darren.

  Bertie stared in disbelief. “Wait a minute,” he said. “If we’ve ALL got to ask a girl, then you’ll have to do it, too.”

  “Of course!” said Darren. “We don’t mind, do we, Eugene?”

  “Erm … no, no problem,” said Eugene doubtfully.

  Bertie’s shoulders drooped. He ducked into the toilets saying he didn’t feel well.

  Eugene turned to Darren. “Are you serious?” he moaned. “We really have to take a girl?”

  Darren laughed. “Course we don’t!” he said. “I only made it up because I knew Bertie would be terrified! I can’t believe he actually fell for it.”

  “You had me worried for a minute there,” said Eugene. “But shouldn’t we tell him the truth?”

  “Are you kidding?” said Darren. “This could be the best joke ever. Imagine Bertie turning up to the prom with a girl. It’ll be hilarious!”

  For the rest of the day Bertie went around under a dark cloud. How could his classmates carry on as if everything was normal? He needed advice but who could he ask? His friends weren’t worried about the prom and his parents would say he was making a fuss about nothing. What about his sister, Suzy?

  As soon as he got home, he raced upstairs to her room.

  “What do you want?” groaned Suzy.

  “I suppose you’ve heard about this Prom Party?” Bertie said.

  “Oh yes, for you younger kids,” said Suzy. “Sounds fun.”

  “Fun!” cried Bertie. “I’ve just found out we have to bring someone.”

  Suzy looked puzzled. “Who?”

  “A girl!” said Bertie. “You’ve got to bring a girl or you can’t go!”

  Suzy raised her eyebrows. “And who told you that?” she asked.

  “Darren,” said Bertie. “Why? Isn’t it true?”

  Suzy smiled. It was obvious Bertie’s friends were playing a joke on him. Of course she could easily put him out of his misery… On the other hand, this was her bogey-nosed, annoying little brother. It was much funnier to play along.

  “Of course it’s true,” she said. “Everyone takes a partner to a prom.”

  Bertie sank down on the bed in despair. So Darren was right!

  “But I CAN’T! Who can I ask?” he moaned.

  “What about the girls in your class?” asked Suzy.

  “But they’re all … GIRLS!” said Bertie. “I can’t ask them!”

  Suzy smiled. “Come on, there must be one you like,” she teased.

  “SHUT UP! THERE ISN’T!” wailed Bertie.

  “It’s only a dance,” said Suzy, trying not to laugh. “You don’t have to marry them!”

  Bertie shuddered. He’d never danced with a girl in his life – except for the time Miss Boot forced him to try country dancing, and then he’d kept his eyes closed.

  “You’ve got to help me!” he begged. “What can I do?”

  Suzy folded her arms. “It’s easy. You’ve got two choices,” she said. “Either you miss the prom altogether … or you find a girl to go with you.”

  Bertie buried his head in his hands. It was too horrible! But if he missed the prom, he’d be stuck in a room with Miss Boot doing extra maths – a fate worse than dancing!

  Friday, the dreaded day of the Prom Party, arrived. Bertie trailed down to breakfast.

  “I’m feeling a bit sick,” he croaked, pushing his cereal around his bowl.

  “Nonsense, it’s your Prom Party today,” said Mum.

  “I don’t think I can go,” moaned Bertie. “I’ve got feet ache!”

  Mum sighed. “Toothache, tummy ache, I’ve heard it all before, Bertie,” she said. “You’re going to school and that’s the end of it.”

  Darren and Eugene were waiting for Bertie in the playground.

  “Well?” asked Darren. “Have you found someone to take to the prom?”

  Bertie shook his head.

  “You better get a move on – it’s this afternoon,” said Eugene.<
br />
  “Yes, we’ve asked our partners,” boasted Darren.

  “Seriously? WHO?” said Bertie.

  Darren quickly looked around. Two girls were just entering the school gates.

  “Them,” said Darren.

  “Pamela and Amanda?” said Bertie. “How did you manage it?”

  “Oh, it was easy,” shrugged Darren. “Wasn’t it, Eugene?”

  “Yes,” agreed Eugene. “We just went straight up and asked them.”

  Bertie stared. Darren had never shown any interest in Pamela or Amanda before. And he couldn’t remember Eugene ever actually speaking to a girl! All the same, if they both had prom partners he couldn’t put it off any longer.

  “What about Donna?” said Darren.

  “Donna?” squeaked Bertie.

  “Yes, I bet she’d go to the prom with you,” said Eugene. “She likes you.”

  Bertie looked over at Donna, who was sitting on a wall waiting for her friends. He didn’t mind Donna – she was clever and she knew a lot about dogs. But as for asking her to the prom – he’d rather ask a frog.

  “Go on!” urged Darren. “While she’s by herself.”

  Bertie took a deep breath and plodded over. His hands were sweating and his throat was dry.

  “Hi, Donna,” he mumbled.

  “Oh, hi, Bertie!” said Donna. “Okay?”

  “Yes … fine, great, good,” said Bertie. He hummed tunelessly and looked at the sky. His legs had started to tremble.

  “Did you want something?” asked Donna.

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you looked like you wanted to say something,” said Donna, frowning.

  Just come straight out and ask her, thought Bertie. He cleared his throat.

  “I was, um … wondering … if well…”

  “Yes?” said Donna.

  “If … um … you … if you still have a dog?” stammered Bertie.

  “Cookie? Yes, I’ve still got him,” replied Donna.

  “Ah,” said Bertie. “That’s good. Well, bye then!”

  He fled back to his friends.

  “Did you ask her?” asked Eugene.

  “Yes,” said Bertie. “She’s still got a dog.”

  The morning sped by without Bertie having any success. Darren and Eugene suggested four or five girls in their class but Bertie’s nerve failed him every time. His mouth turned dry and his mind went blank as soon as he got near them. Once he tried passing a note to Kelly, which said:

  But the note only reached Know- All Nick, who thought it was a joke and threw it back at Bertie. Time was running out. The prom was due to start at two o’clock – and Bertie still didn’t have a partner.

  “It’s no use!” he sighed as he trailed outside at break. “I’ll just have to go on my own.”

  “You can’t” said Darren quickly. “They won’t let you in.”

  “Won’t they?”

  “No, it’s a prom!” said Darren. “They’ll send you to Miss Boot.”

  “Anyway, you can’t dance by yourself,” argued Eugene.

  Bertie didn’t want to dance at all. He just wanted to sit watching a film like they always did.

  DONK! Suddenly a tennis ball hit him on the head.

  Bertie picked it up. Angela Nicely came running over. Angela lived next door and had been in love with Bertie forever.

  “Sorry, Bertie!” she giggled. “Are you okay?”

  A thought crept into Bertie’s head. Normally he avoided Angela like a cold bath but this was an emergency. He had to find someone to take to the prom and she was his only chance. He took a deep breath.

  “Listen,” he mumbled. “Do you, er … want to go to this prom thing?”

  “I am going!” trilled Angela. “We’re all going!”

  “Yes, but I mean go with me,” said Bertie, turning red.

  Angela blinked. “With you? You mean go together?” she said.

  Bertie gulped and nodded.

  “Yee-hoo!” cried Angela. “Wait till I tell Laura and Maisie!”

  She hugged him and ran off.

  Bertie watched her go. What had he done? A Prom Party with adoring Angela sticking to him like glue. This was going to be the worst day of his life!

  At two o’clock, Bertie stood nervously outside the hall waiting for Angela. His suit itched and his bow tie was too tight. Inside he could hear loud music. The Prom Party was already in full swing.

  Darren and Eugene arrived.

  “So where is she?” asked Darren. “This mystery girlfriend of yours?”

  “She’s not my girlfriend,” scowled Bertie. “It’s just for the prom. Anyway, where are Pamela and Amanda?”

  “Who?” said Eugene.

  “Oh, they’re meeting us inside,” said Darren.

  “Hi, Bertie!” squeaked an excited voice.

  Darren and Eugene stared. Angela was wearing her frilly party dress with pink sparkly shoes and a new bow in her hair.

  “Angela? She’s your girlfriend?” hooted Darren.

  “She’s NOT my girlfriend!” groaned Bertie.

  “You said!” pouted Angela. “You said you wanted to go together!”

  “I do,” said Bertie quickly. “But it’s just for the prom, okay?”

  Angela stuck out her bottom lip.

  “Well if you’re going to be mean…” she said sulkily.

  “Sorry,” Bertie muttered. “Let’s go in.”

  Angela brightened up and held out her hand.

  Bertie sighed and took it. This was worse than the time he’d turned up for swimming without his trunks.

  “After you!” grinned Darren, holding open the door.

  Angela dragged him into the hall. A song was just coming to an end.

  “Here they are!” shouted Darren. “Bertie and Angela!”

  Everyone turned their way, staring in boggle-eyed amazement.

  Bertie couldn’t believe it. The girls were all in one corner while the boys stood by the table eating crisps. No one was dancing or holding hands, apart from him. Darren and Eugene were giggling like a pair of idiots.

  The horrible truth dawned on Bertie. It was all a rotten trick. No one else had brought a girl to the prom.

  “Your face! Hee hee!” hooted Darren.

  “Ha ha! You actually fell for it!” chuckled Eugene.

  Bertie dropped Angela’s hand.

  “Come on, Bertie, let’s dance,” she cried as the music started. “Oh, but what about your friends? They don’t have anyone to dance with.”

  Bertie smiled. “Oh dear, that’s no good,” he said. “What shall we do?”

  “I know,” cried Angela. “Wait there! I’ll get Maisie and Laura!”

  Darren and Eugene looked horrified.

  “No, no … don’t!” stammered Darren.

  “We’re fine,” gulped Eugene.

  But it was too late. Angela was already running over, towing her two friends behind her. Darren and Eugene backed away but Bertie made sure they didn’t escape.

  “Oh no,” he said, “you can’t come to a Prom Party without a partner! And anyway, I thought you liked dancing?”

  It was Wednesday afternoon and Gran had dropped in for tea, which always meant they had cake. Bertie reached out to grab the biggest slice.

  “Bertie!” groaned Mum. “Guests first, please!”

  “Have shum cake, Gran,” said Bertie with his mouth full.

  “Sorry, Gran,” sighed Mum. “What were you saying?”

  “This Saturday,” said Gran. “It’s the Sunset Club’s annual coach trip. We’re going to Skegby-on-Sea.”

  “That’ll be nice,” said Mum.

  “Yes,” said Gran. “A few people have dropped out, so I did wonder if Bertie might like to come?”

  “ME? WHERE?” asked Bertie, spraying cake crumbs everywhere.

  Gran dusted off the front of her dress with a tissue. “On a day trip to Skegby,” she said.

  “It’s at the seaside,” added Mum.

  The seaside? Bertie
’s eyes lit up. He hadn’t been to the seaside in years – at least since last summer. Hang on, though, he’d learned to be careful when Gran was handing out invitations. The last time she offered to take him to the cinema her new boyfriend, Reg, had come along. Bertie had been forced to spill his Strawberry Slushy in Reg’s lap to stop them kissing!

  “Who’s going?” he asked suspiciously.

  “I told you – my friends from the Sunset Club,” replied Gran. “You remember Sherry?”

  Bertie could hardly forget her – when Sherry and Gran got together they were like a pair of naughty schoolgirls. Sherry wore bright red lipstick and giggled a lot.

  “Is everyone going to be old?” asked Bertie.

  “No, mostly my age,” answered Gran.

  “You mean a hundred?” said Bertie.

  “Sixty-seven, if you don’t mind,” huffed Gran. “But don’t let me force you, Bertie, I just thought it would be a treat.”

  “It sounds fun,” said Mum, seeing the chance of a Bertie-free day. “You could build sandcastles on the beach, maybe even paddle in the sea.”

  Bertie considered it. “Are any other children going?” he asked.

  “I doubt it,” said Gran, “but it’s always a great day out. Our tour guide Gerry’s a scream. We play bingo and crazy golf and sing songs all the way home.”

  Bertie frowned. He’d heard Gran’s singing and she sounded like she was in pain. Imagine fifty or more grannies warbling away on a coach! He’d have to take earplugs. All the same, it was a trip to the seaside and the best part was that Gran always paid for everything.

  “Of course it’s up to you,” said Mum, pouring more tea. “But I’m pretty sure Skegby has a funfair.”

  “A FUNFAIR!” cried Bertie.