The One Adored (The One Trilogy Book 3)

by North, Alexandra

  He wants kids and I may not have any more. I’ve just lost our baby - we’ve still not dealt with those emotions and I know its devastated him. He’s dealt with it like many men do in these situations, by throwing himself into me, my needs and work. And of course finding the bastard that did this to us.

  I’ve handled it by talking to Abby, Suze, my mum, basically anyone but the one person I need to - I don’t want him seeing me weak. He’s already seen me weak and I hate it. I’ve basically pushed the one person away that I want at my side.

  I know he’s heard my tears, despite my attempts to subdue them but when he’s entered the bedroom, I’ve managed to brave a smile or feign sleep. It has meant that our physical contact has lessened and I hate it. Hate that I’m doing it to us and I can’t seem to stop it; can’t stop pushing him away.

  Our relationship was built on friendship, it became about hot sex, seriously hot sex, love and friendship but then that hot sex resulted in something wonderful being taken from me.

  Do I blame him?

  No - no I don’t. I blame the freak that ran me off the road. But I blame myself for the huge divide between us now.

  God, I miss his touch and the sound of his deep sexy laugh.

  I also miss the sound of my own laugh.

  I’ve just had my six week check-up after the surgery and my surgeon has given me the all clear to return to work and driving. I can also resume all other physical duties, this included sex. The latter makes me both nervous and excited. He’d also discussed contraception with me, despite the chance of potential infertility - it would cover me for the small chance of pregnancy and after much consideration I’d had a Mirena coil inserted. My consultant advised that it would also assist me with my endometriosis pain, and I liked the idea of no more condoms.

  Until that moment I don’t think I’d realised how much I’d missed sex. Mentally the miscarriage has ravished me but physically I ached for him and Seb and I need that connection - we are no good without it - that contact. But how do I broach the subject when he hasn’t come near me in weeks? We haven’t even shared a bed in case he rolled into me and caused me pain.

  Enough is enough.

  I’ve wallowed, healed physically and it will take time to heal emotionally and mentally but I can’t do this without him anymore, without his body, touch, hands, cock, mouth and surely he feels the same?

  If he still wants me after all this, then I need to buck-up and move forward or the bastard who did this to us is going to win and I can’t ever let that happen. If he loves me enough to risk the fact that we may not have another child together then I’ll marry him; we have Finn and I know he adores him - I can’t martyr myself like this and I have to allow Sebastian to make his own decisions, I can’t make them for him.

  *******

  I head into Lu’s room to kiss her goodnight before I make my way up to the guest-room - alone. Sliding gingerly onto the bed, I spend a moment watching her sleeping, curled and innocent and I’m reminded for the zillionth time how close I came to losing her, how close I came to losing any chance of a future. Without her I'm nothing.

  She is my everything.

  Since I collected her from Lords’ Hospital two weeks after the accident, and immediately moved into Rose Avenue with her and Finn, she’d withdrawn from me and I could feel her slipping further and further away from my grasp - not enough to make others aware of a problem but I knew. I knew her inside and out - she was building barriers.

  The loss of the baby had hit her hard and she was dealing with it by disappearing inside her armoured shell and putting on a brave face, complete with lipgloss and mascara and a bright smile that didn’t reach her dulled green eyes. I knew better. Her sparkle had dimmed and I am determined to re-light it again. Determined to regain her spirit and fight for us; determined to find the bastard that did this and put him in hell.

  The police had visited Lu and I in the hospital on several occasions in the days after her surgery to take more detailed statements from her regarding the accident. Lu had discussed with a detective about her concerns about being watched. She’d filled out a report with them but with no evidence to go on, no witnesses, emails, phone messages, CCTV, or gifts of any kind, the police were limited as to what they could do. With no definitive suspect, they couldn’t make an arrest. I believed Lu completely - supported her entirely, but all we had were her instincts at that time and some possible personal missing items. We were advised to keep a diary for future episodes, detailing times, to show that this was not an isolated incident and the police would continue to search for the driver and his car. In the detective’s experience, cases like these either fizzled out or escalated but they would investigate all potential lines of enquiry. It didn’t appease my concerns one iota. I wasn’t prepared to take any risks and something in my gut told me that this was odd. Lu was not an overly anxious woman, nor did she over dramatise situations, and now with this car chase I wasn’t prepared to take any chances.

  Ralph was enlisted, the day Lu left Lords general, to be my eyes and ears and watch over her for me. I’d also called a mate of mine Enzo Marchetti, who ran a private investigator firm, to look into things further - with not much to go on, it made his job tough but he was the best and I trusted him like a brother.

  Unfortunately my latest meeting with Nathan meant I was going to have to go handle my latest project in person, in France. I had worked from Lu’s house for the past six weeks and managed to fend off projects and stay in the country to ensure I was a constant, for the woman I love and my godson, who I now consider my own boy - couldn’t leave him if I’d wanted to - he had burrowed deep down in my heart and under my skin. I loved him like my own blood. Now, I have to leave our domestic bubble and get back to reality but I’m hoping that the distance may give us both some clarity and the knowledge that they would be watched over by Ralph kept me calm.

  Lu had seen her consultant and been given the all clear, which was another bonus. She had a second check-up in a month but they were happy with her and the relief I felt was immense. I just wish they could wave a magic wand and take her pain away. I too was grieving for our loss - each day was tough but I’d been able to throw myself into busying myself with caring for Lu, Finn and work. Lu, had had hours of recovery time, in bed to contemplate. I knew that she had found it tremendously difficult to relinquish her tight rein on control and felt like her being so dependent on me and everyone else who’d supported us, was a sign of weakness.

  I’m worried that the crack that has developed between us, during the past few weeks is going to become an fully fledged earthquake if I’m abroad and not able to save us, but I’d put off work for too long, already turned down commitments in Dubai and Scotland over the past fortnight in favour of my boyfriend duties. Tomorrow, I’ll tell her that I’m leaving for a week and maybe the space will do us both good.

  Boyfriend. Such as simple word. A word I’d never wanted to really own or ever needed to hear from previous women’s lips but when Lu had branded me with it, my insides had warmed. It had cemented us in a way I hadn’t realised I wanted - taken us from friends to lovers, to a couple, combining the two. Now, the word just fucking irritated the hell out of me. I was no longer her bloody boyfriend; I was her fiancée, and I wanted to scream it to the world, tell everyone she was mine, at last.

  No one knew of my proposal. There was no ring, no engagement party, and most importantly no plans for our future.

  I pray she still wants me after everything she has been through. Our nights in The Maldives feel like a lifetime ago.

  I stroke her hair, which tumbles across the pillow in shining dark brown locks and instantly a cloud of her scent fills the air. God, I miss her. I feel disgusted with myself as my cock springs to life. Always alert. If I could bury myself inside her now, without hurting her - ahh! I need to feel her legs around me, lips on my neck, mouth, dick. I need to be close to her again, intimately. Feel like she wants me as much as I need her. It’s been s
o long since we’ve lost ourselves in one another but I’m not sure she’ll welcome me back into her bed and then her body. I feel so responsible for the pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. I’d taken advantage of her lush body on two many occasions without protection.

  The two of us are carrying around a lot of guilt. I just pray that we can overcome it, together.

  When I get back from Paris we can start again and hopefully she’ll re-evaluate informing people of our engagement. I want to shout it from the fucking roof-tops but I’m trying to understand her reluctance to focus on the wedding right now, no matter how frustrating and hurtful - I just have to take it one step at a time - the here and now, was all about Lu.

  *****

  Six fucking weeks!

  Six f’in weeks he’d been waiting to get inside her abode - to see his love properly. Silver had been all over the scene like some dirty diseased rash, waltzing around like he owned the place, owned her, leaving little to no chance for him to enter the property, be it invited or secretly. Meddling fucker!

  Since the accident, his plans had slowed somewhat, which was to be expected, but it meant that his hopes to take his relationship with Lucia to the next level had had to be halted for the time being. His teeth grind down hard at the thought of the time lost.

  That bitch of a witness hadn’t helped matters.

  The original plan had been to ingratiate himself further into Lucia’s life, whilst she recuperated from her devastating loss and subsequent injuries, showcasing his gentler side and encouraging a deeper side to their existing friendship. He was tired of holding her at arms length and Lu seemed to like the whole ‘friends to lovers’ story, so why not be the understanding mate - a shoulder to cry on, who isn’t Sebastian, maybe someone who isn’t so close to the situation?

  Unfortunately the witness had put the kibosh to all this - sending Silver into stealth-mode, fucking showy prick. He takes a bite of his sweet pecan danish and reviews his emails, annoyed that he can’t listen in on private conversations at No.41 Rose Avenue. Perhaps it was time to send another rose? Surely he had left it long enough to raise suspicion? He hated not having contact with her - needed to be close to her, even it was by way of sending a gift. It was his God damned right!

  If he was honest with himself he was a little disappointed that it had taken Lucia so long to figure out that she was being watched by someone. He’d figured that she was brighter than that, but maybe not? Maybe after all his hard work and efforts, and financial investment he’d realise that she wasn’t THE ONE? He shakes his head vehemently, “No! She is the one - she fucking has to be! I’ve come too far this time - there’s no going back!”

  He would like to know when he’d fucked up though?

  What had made her question things and get suspicious?

  Now with this witness statement, the police were on high alert and Silver was watching her every move. Jeez she needed to look closer to home for obsessed men.

  The cameras in her bedroom and lounge had been no good once their batteries had died, a week after the accident and with Lucia in the hospital at this stage, he had tried to access her home to replace them with new ones. He’d waited for Sebastian to leave first and headed to the back, as he’d done on many occasions, it was the best way to enter without being spotted, having high walls to either side of the back yard. He hadn’t accounted for Silver’s well-built driver casually reading the paper, at the kitchen island, all dressed in black, like a bloody Russian Mobster. There was no way he was getting past him anytime soon, not without a gun and that was too messy. He’d returned each day consecutively for the next week to find the same thing, sometimes Sebastian was also there - his car hidden further down the street.

  “Trying to trick me? You bastard! You think I’m stupid? You’ll see…” He laughs indulgently into the empty office “Ah but that’s just the point, isn’t it? You won’t see, you won’t see me coming - coming inside your beautiful Lucia but only after I’ve done what I am here to do. Then and only then we’ll have play time.”

  No, cameras were now out of the equation…for the time being. This blip had altered things slightly but he was still on track, his end goal in sight. Nothing was going to stop him from making Lucia Myers his own - his desire for her grew every day. The chase, the thought of taking her from a man such as Sebastian Silver, and now that she was truly recovered physically she would be ready to return to work and daily activities again making it nigh impossible for her over-possessive boyfriend to be with her at every waking moment.

  Bring it on!

  *****

  The drive to work is surreal, for many reasons; I’ve done the same God damned journey every working day for a year before the accident and now it feels like I’ve not been away - like the last six weeks had never happened. The fact that I have a Silver Range Rover Sport tailing me is more than a little disconcerting but I salute Sebastian’s ever faithful Limo / bodyguard, as I zap my car. I’m also driving a sporty little gunmetal Audi R8 from Sebastian’s collection - my own faithful Audi having been a complete right-off in the accident.

  “Morning, Ralph, traffic wasn’t too bad, was it?”

  He nods but maintains a straight face, his angular cheekbones that any woman would die for on show with his profile to me. I’d really warmed to this strong, rough and ready Polish man, who would do anything for Sebastian and now myself and Finn. He’d been under SilCon’s employment for 3 years and in that time proved himself to be loyal and adept at many roles outside of his job description. Driver was just the tip of the iceberg and I sensed that there were many many layers to peel back on this handsome and insular man.

  “You’re not going to wait here all day are you? Surely not? I’ll be absolutely fine. We spoke about this.”

  “Mr. Silver. has asked me to keep an eye on things whilst he is out of the country, and that means you. Until he says different I will be doing exactly that, at certain times throughout the day. I would have preferred to drive you but…”

  “Not a bloody chance. I’m back driving again, Seb insisted I ‘get back in the saddle’ and he was right. I need to maintain some independence here.”

  He watches my gesticulating, calm and collected, then completely ignores my behaviour and comments. “Call me if you have need of my assistance, Ms. Myers.”

  “I won’t. And its Lucia - please.” I’ve cooked you dinner for goodness sake - chill the fuck out! I was starting to like you.

  “Have a good day back at work, Lucia.” He turns and nods at me, a hint of a smile of his lips.

  God, the man had charm in there - buried, but it was there. “Thank you. I will.”

  I wave at him, irritatingly over my shoulder and head into the building. Seb had become ridiculously protective since the accident, and I get that entirely but I didn’t and would never require a freaking bodyguard. I am not Whitney Houston and I’m not a celeb. I wish I’d never said anything about feeling like I was being watched, or rather Abby hadn’t - I was now being stalked by a bodyguard supplied by my own boyfriend, and that was far far worse and utterly claustrophobic.

  I honestly believe that with hindsight my previous concerns about someone watching me, had been sent into overdrive by my pregnancy hormones running rife at the time. In fact I’m certain of it now. I’d not had a thing happen since the accident - since I’d spoken of my fears, aloud. In fact if it wasn’t for the eye-witness who’d reported to the police that they had seen the other driver of the car, deliberately pushing me into the path of oncoming traffic, and causing me to veer off into a wall, I’d have figured I had imagined it all or at least exaggerated it a little - it had all happened so fast. There was definitely a car, I had definitely been scared out of my wits but maybe the driver of the car had just been in a hurry, or a just bloody terrible driver? Maybe they hadn’t intended to cause me harm? I was seriously beginning to question my sanity.

  My mind is eternally filled with unanswered questions but as the days
go by with no further information, I begin to question everything. Especially when my missing favourite black stilettos are found in the utility and the other odd little goings on become coincidental or random rather than concerning. I’m sure that I had just overreacted at the time, now I just had to convince Sebastian, that everything had just been a terrible and unfortunate accident, so we could move forward with our future. Good luck with that one, love.

  Within an hour of walking through the office all those feelings of familiarity from the drive to work and general daily grind have gone. With the exception of my amazing staff, Jackie and Colin there are so many new projects on the go and new clients on our rota, my head is spinning; I feel completely out of the loop.

  “So, how you settling back in, babe? You look a little ‘deer in the headlights’!” Colin settles in next to me, dropping a much needed cup of tea on my Idris Elba coaster. “Don’t be overdoing it!”

  “I’m good, Col - a bit all over the place but I’m catching up. You and Jackie have been your usual reliable and trustworthy employees and friends. We’ve a load of new clients though? I’m impressed.”

  “Er yeah - what did you expect? You scared the shit out of us, boss. Least we could do was run this place on your behalf. You know I’ve always got your back, and as for the clients, they’ve been totting up, each week ever since The Ashton launch - that was THE best advertising we could have asked for. Word of mouth has travelled - you did good, girl.”

  “I’m so pleased people love that place much as we do - it’s special but it really is a fabulous framework for our portfolio.”

  “It bloody is - just a lil place I like to call home.” His coy flick of pretend locks is smug.

  “You are incredibly lucky - don’t forget it. Still lording it up, Count Colin?” I snigger.