When darkness fell, the guys began to grow tired the begged off one by one. Nik and Tosha were the only ones left in the room and I was torn. Part of me wanted Tosha to stay and part of me wanted more time with Nik. I refused to say anything in fear of hurting one or the other. Finally Tosha acquiesced and gave me a quick hug and kiss good night. Nik gave me a sad smile and my heart broke all over again. Grabbing my hand he yanking me to the bed then picked me up and tossed me on it. I bounced a couple times before pulling myself into a seated position; I scooted up on the bed, my back against the headboard. Nik climbed on to the bed and joined me.
“So I had to fly out and see my doc for a checkup… he called today, well yesterday... last night… whenever… He said that the results from the test he had done came back a little wonky. They want to do some more test and be sure of the results before he says either yea or nay.” Nik said his voice somber.” When did you fly out to see your Doc?” Looking down at his hands in his lap, he folded and unfolded them nervously. ”I went while you and Tosh were on the island.” Casting a glance his way I bravely asked, “Nik, have you thought about getting a second opinion?” My eyes tearing up at the realization that this is truly happening; Nik shook his head. “I haven’t, all I can think about is what this means. I am afraid of false hope or having a second doctor confirm what the first said.” Tears shining in his eyes, he stared back down at his hands, folded in his lap. “It’s your body and your choice. I just ask that you think about it. I will be there with you every step of the way no matter what.” I leaned my head against him and closed my eyes, sending up a prayer for my brother. “I’ll think about it, Tink.” I gave a tight smile, though it never reached my eyes.
We curled up in bed, exhaustion from the day and the news about Nik’s situation leaving us bone weary. I slept restlessly. When morning came, I woke to the sound of knocking at the hotel door. Nik was still asleep beside me. I crawled out of bed, careful not to wake him. Looking through the peep hold I saw Tosha waiting on the other side. I quietly opened the door, trying to remain soundless. Tosha beckoned with his head for me to step out. I gently closed the door behind me, leaving it opened just enough so that the lock wouldn’t engage.
“I’m sorry I disappeared on you. I missed you.” Tosha wrapped me in his arms. I hugged him back, my arms going around his neck. “I missed you too.” Tosha released me and took a small step back. “I know Nik will be angry, but I made some calls and I have a doctor in Phoenix that is willing to give a second opinion. We have a two day lay over there which should be enough time to get him in.” His words warmed my heart. He did exactly what I had been planning to do since I found out. I leapt into his arms and burying my face in his neck. Tears streamed down my face. Tosha squeezed me back with as much enthusiasm. Pulling my head back I kissed him on the lips, a hard bruising kiss, packing all of the emotions I had been feeling into it. He returned my kiss with as much emotion and passion. Slowly peeling myself away, I excused myself to go get a shower and dressed.
When I walked back into the room Nik was awake, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. “Hey there kiddo”. I smiled weakly at him. He returned a half smile, not quite reaching his eyes. “What’s on your mind, sis?” I looked away, afraid of what he might see on my face. “”Look, I know you have something to say, I can smell it on you a mile away. Just tell me. I don’t want any more secrets.” I turned my head back to him, worrying away at my bottom lip. “I want you to get a second opinion. I know you don’t have the results back yet from the test you already took, well not conclusive results, but I want you to get a second opinion. I can’t bear the thought of losing you and I need someone to tell me you’re okay!” The words gushed out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them. Nik shook his head, looking down at the blanket, he picked at imaginary lint. “Nikolia, please, for me.” I begged. Nik looked up at me, his face blank; he gave me a brief nod.
My heart soared at his capitulation. I ran over to him and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him to me. “Ya lyublyu tebya!” “I love you, too” His voice gruff in my hair. I pulled away and his hand came up to my face, cradling my cheek, his thumb brushed away tears I hadn’t realized had fallen. I gave him a wry smile. “I have to shower, I stink. You need one too and then we are getting the hell out of dodge.” Nik nodded his agreement. He got up and slipped on his shoes. “I will meet ya in the lobby in two hours, have your stuff down there and ready to go.” I nodded my head and gave him one last quick hug before letting him walk out the door.
Chapter Fourteen
Once alone, the impact of the events over the past few days hit me all at once. It was like a ton of bricks slamming into my body. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower, my body on auto pilot. Disrobing, I stepped into the shower. The scalding hot water pouring over my skin, turning it beet red, everywhere the water touched. A reel of the past week flipping through my mind; Kevin, Shepard, Tosha and Sasha, Spending time with Nik, Spending time with Tosha, Nik breaking the earth shattering news.
The thought of losing my brother was crippling. Nik and I only had one another. We had no extended family other than the guys and their surviving parents. We had always been close. Since he had turned eighteen he has been on the road. Our parents supported his career in music but made him promise to stay and finish high school and to wait until he was eighteen before he and the guys signed any record deals. All of the guys complied. For the past twelve years Nik has been home a total of three months on a good year. He was usually only able to get away a few days at a time. I think the longest stretch of time he has taken off was when our parents died. Nik took off a month for each of them, spending it with me, as we mourned together. Regardless, every time he came home we spent time together. The physical distance between us never once effected out relationship. We talked almost daily.
Remembering my time with Nik at the island, my body slumped to the base of the shower; I closed my eyes, my head falling back against the shower wall. The day in Mackinac Island was probably the best time I had spent with my brother since he left home. It was the first time in years that we just spent time doing what we wanted and talked. No music or work involved. We were just brother and sister. Almost losing him had put everything into perspective for me. I refuse to let a minute go by in which I did not seize the moment to make memories with my brother, to cherish every day with him. It had meant so much to me for Nik to take the time and escape life with me, if even just for the day.
Arms came around me, pulling me up to my feet. “God Damnit…! Son of a Bitch…! Jesus Christ…! What the ever loving fuck, Tink?” Blinking my eyes, I pulled myself to reality. Tosha had his arm around me, holding me against his body as he fiddled with the water faucet, screaming at me, his body shielding me from the spray of water. “What?” I asked, confused. “Your body is fucking red, the water is hot as shit. What the hell were you trying to do?” Tosha shouted as he adjusted the water temperature. “I wasn’t trying to do anything.” Content with the temperature, Tosha turned us so that I was under the spray of water. Reaching down he picked up the bottle of shampoo and squeezed a generous amount into his hands before massaging it into my scalp. Tosha continued with his pampering. Washing and rinsing my hair, conditioning it, washing my body, drying me with a towel.
Tosha wrapped the towel around my body to keep me warm, while he went in search of clothes for me to wear. He came back with comfy clothes, dressing me in a pair of yoga pants and an oversized band hoodie that hung to my knees. He set me down on the bed as he went about redressing himself.
“What were you doing in there, Tink?” Standing before me, his clothes wrinkled from hastily removing them and tossing them on the floor to jump in the shower with me. “I was taking a shower.” I said defiantly, cutting my eyes at him. “Tink, you were in a ball on the shower floor. That is not called showering. The water was scalding hot; your skin is red as hell.” I looked down in shame, tears welling up in my eyes, my throat closed up. Tosha kn
eeled before me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his touch breaking my resolve. I crumbled.
Sobbing, I clung to Tosha. “I can’t lose him, Tosh,” I cried into his neck. His grip around me tightened. “Baby, you won’t lose him. Nik is a fighter. We are going to take him to that Doc in Phoenix and do whatever it takes to make sure he is okay.” My head bobbed in agreement of its own accord. “He agreed to go, he didn’t look happy about it, but he agreed to see the other doctor.” I felt Tosha smile against my head. “Do you think he wants to give up?” Tosha pulled away, looking me in the eyes, he shook his head. “No, Tink. He isn’t giving up. He is just scared. He fought so hard last time. I am sure he is just scared that he will have to go through it all again.” Absentmindedly I nodded my head. I could definitely understand fear.
“What did you guys do after the set? Damon walked me to the car and left. Nik didn’t come in till the next morning.” Tosha’s head dropped and his shoulders slumped forward. “He got a call when we got back to our dressing rooms, it was the doctor. Nik wanted to talk it over with us. He wanted to make plans for worst case scenario. He wanted to tell you what was going on, but he wanted to make sure we were all prepared to be there for you. He wanted to make sure you had us all ready to be there for you.” My heart broke at his admission, knowing that even when he was hurting and going through so much, Nik had put me first.
“You know, Nik and I spoke, in Kansas City, after… you know.” I paled. “What? What did you guys talk about?” Giving a light chuckle, Tosha shook his head. “I told your brother how I felt about you. I’m in love with you. I have been for as long as I could remember. I just didn’t know how to tell you, or what to say. I didn’t want to lose your friendship or lose you in my life.” He explained in a rush of words. Blinking repeatedly, I tried to comprehend what he was saying. “You love me?” His eyes lit up as a smile split his face. “Yeah, I’m head over heels in love with you! I planned with Nik, to surprise you with a few days together in Mackinac; I wanted to see if maybe you felt anything for me.” Still trying to compute what he was saying, I stared at him, rapidly blinking. His smile spreading even wider, “I’m sorry I freaked out on you after what happened with us and that girl. I was just shocked. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you. Then when you said it was NSA, it crushed me. I wanted you and so much more. I went to Nik and told him how I felt. I told him everything. He said he had already known and he had been waiting on me to grow some balls.” He chuckled. I smirked. “Yeah, I have been waiting for the same thing.” He playfully swatted at my arm. “Hey!”
“Say you’ll be mine.” He begged, his hands reaching for mine and holding them. I nodded my head in consent. “Yes…” Tosha released me, his hands flying up and cupping my cheeks. He pulled my face toward him and kissed me. Releasing me he whispered across my lips. “Ya Lyublyu tebya.” I couldn’t fight the smile that crossed my lips if I tried. “Ya Lyublyu tebya, miner lyublyu my love.” Heat flushed my cheeks as I bit down on my bottom lips trying to contain the giddiness that had overcome me at the admission of my own words. I truly loved this man. “Really?” Tosha said excitedly. I nodded my head feverishly. He stood pulling me into his arms.
“Ahem…” Nik cleared his throat from behind Tosha. We turned to look at him. Tosha hugging me to his chest, my back pressed firmly to him. “It’s about damn time.” We both broke out in a fit of laughter. “You’re so dayum nosey.” I admonished Nik. Rolling his eyes at me, Nik slapped Tosha on the back in a show of brotherly affection and then pulled me into his arms. “Don’t go breaking his heart or I will have to hurt you.” I laughed and smacked Nik’s arm. “You’re more worried about me breaking his heart than you are about him breaking mine?” “You damn right I am. He knows I would kill him. Now you need to understand that too.” I couldn’t help but to shake my head. “I love you, Jerk face.” I smacked Nik again. “I love you, most. Now I gave you two hours to get ready and be down stairs and it has been three and a half. Are you even packed?” I rolled my eyes. “No, I just got dressed.” Nik glared at me, his eyes narrowing into slits. “It’s a good thing we still have time before our flight. I knew you would take forever. Just can’t take women on the road with me, especially if said woman is my sister.”
Tosha grabbed me in a bear hug from behind, restraining me from Nik. Nik laughed and rolled his eyes. “Please, as if she could even hurt a fly.” Tosha laughed and released me “Okay, man.” I jumped on Nik like a spider monkey and began tussling his hair. The one think Nik was prideful about was his hair. “Take that sucka.” I yelled as I mangled Nik’s hair. My legs squeezed tightly around his waist, I held on for dear life as he tried to fight me off of him. I could hear Tosha gaffing loudly behind me.
More laughter joined Tosha’s as the rest of the guys entered the room. “What did ‘ol Niky do to incite Tink?” Damon asked Tosha. “He insulted her about being a typical woman.” I pulled him hands from Nik’s hair and dropped down, landing on my feet. I spun around to face Tosha, “Do you want to be next?” Tosha threw his hands up in front of him defensively. “No, No, No. I was just explaining…” I cut him off. “You were not explaining, you were agreeing!” Ivan came and wrapped his arms around me. He hoisted me up and tossed me over his shoulder then slapped my ass. “Kiev, pack her bags. We have a plane to catch.” Ivan turned to leave with me draped across his shoulder. “Hey! Drop my woman or I’ll kick your ass.” Tosha bellowed. Ivan spun around so fast making my head swim. “Your woman?” Tosha marched up to Ivan and pulled me off of his shoulder, transferring me to his. “Yup, made it official.” Tosha puffed his chest out with pride. Dangling like a sack of potatoes I interjected. ‘Hey, if you guys are going to have a pissing contest, can you at least put me down?” Tosha smacked my ass. “No one is having a pissing contest. Kiev is just going to pack your shit and meet us down stairs.” “Why is Kiev going to do it?” Damon chuckled, “Because he is the fastest.” I tried to look up and glare at Kiev but Tosha had already started for the door. “Don’t just throw everything in a bag and call it good.” I yelled out toward Kiev. I heard him laugh as we exited the room.
Chapter Fifteen
The flight to Phoenix was a joyful one. The guys razzed Tosha for finally getting the courage to make a move. Tosha took the joshing admirably. He sat beside me holding my hand throughout the flight. The guys teasingly asked when they would be hearing wedding bells. When I looked up at Tosha he had a glint in his eyes. I ignored the guys and closed my eyes, secretly hoping that it would be soon. I had never before wanted to get married, or even dreamed about it. But hearing the guys mention it made me want it more than anything. I know our relationship was new, but I have known Tosha my whole life, now that I had him as more than a friend I knew that I could never go back to anything less. It would always be more with him. I would always want more with him. I just hoped he felt the same way.
When we landed we were met by a car service. The driver loaded our bags as we all piled into the van. Tosha’s hand finding mine as he sat beside me in the very back. Kiev was happy to take Tosh’s usual spot beside Nik in the first row of seats. Damon and Ivan sat in the middle row, enjoying the extra space. I leaned my head against Tosha’s arm and closed my eyes. Listening to the guys chat back and forth.
When the van came to a stop I opened my eyes. Expecting to see the hotel, I was surprised, to say the least, to see that we had arrived at a hospital. The bliss that I had been feeling for the past few hours dissipated as the harsh reality sank in and hit its mark, my heart. The guys all climbed out of the van. I pushed past them all and made my way up to Nik. I grabbed his hand in mine. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I walked beside him into the hospital. We walked to the window and I released Nik’s hand long enough to allow him to sign in. Then I grabbed his hand back up. Nik gave me a confused smile but didn’t say anything. We took seats in the waiting area; I sat beside him, his hand still in mine.
What seemed like forever, but was probably mor
e like ten minutes later, Nik’s name was called. Nik stood, trying to release my hand, I shook my head defiantly and stood with him, gripping his hand firmly, daring him to say something. Nik smirked, but held firm of my hand, leading me with him to the awaiting nurse. I released Nik long enough for him to have his vitals and weight taken, as well as some other basic formalities, such as blood and urine samples taken. I went with him to the hospital room and sat beside him on the hospital bed, waiting for the doctor. “You are going to be glued to my side, aren’t you?” I smiled warmly at him. “You got that right. I told you, we got this. I am going to do everything I can to make sure that you are taken care of.” Nik smiled at me and pulled me into a brief hug.
The doctor came in and introduced herself. I was surprised at how beautiful she was. She had long blonde hair that she tucked behind her ears, grassy green eyes, and a trim athletic frame. Her smile was warm and genuine, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Von, I am Doctor Popov.” Her smile lingering on Nik, “I understand you are wanting a second opinion on the possibility that your Pharyngeal cancer coming back. Have you had any symptoms?” Nik cleared his throat. “I have been in remission for three months. I had gone in for a checkup and my doctor told me things had looked a bit off. He ran some test, but the results haven’t come back yet. I can’t tell you if what I am feeling are symptoms of a reoccurrence or if they are from recovery from surgery when they removed the cancer. My sister, here, wanted me to get a second opinion as to ease both of our minds.” Dr. Popov’s eyes lit up at the mention of me being Nik’s sister. “That is completely understandable. How is your throat feeling? Have you been coughing up any blood? Any swelling? Trouble swallowing?” She asked as she felt along his neck.
Rock On: A Heavy Metal Romance (Slava Pasha Series Book 1) Page 10
