Ideas for Comedy Writers

by Dave Haslett

  57. Humour – sense of.

  When someone tells you a joke or a funny story, think about how it works. Why exactly does it make you laugh? Can you come up with your own version, or a variation, or add to it in some way? What about really bad jokes and stories? See if you can learn from them too. Why don’t they work? Why don’t you find them funny? Could you fix them and make them funny? If other people seem to find something funny but you don’t, ask them to explain why they find it so amusing.

  Similarly, when people tell jokes that they find funny but you don’t, ask them to explain why that joke is so funny and how it affects them. Then see if you can come up with a different version of it, or a similar joke that makes them laugh as much or even more than the one they told you. If you can do this then you’re a great comedy writer – but you might not understand why!

  Now try out some of your own material on them. Some of your jokes will fall flat. So ask them to explain to you why they didn’t work, and what they would do to make them work. See if you can find some jokes and stories that are universally funny, and think about how they differ from the things that only certain people find funny.

  58. I am very disappointed.

  You can have great fun with a character who expresses disappointment in just about everything. Someone might mention an object or a person and he’ll respond: ‘I don’t like those’ or ‘I don’t really like her’. Or he might ask an additional question before expressing his disappointment: ‘What colour is her hair?’ When he learns the answer he might say: ‘Oh. I don’t like red hair.’ It doesn’t matter what colour the lady’s hair is, he still won’t like it. Or he might simply say: ‘Ah. Oh dear.’ and make no further comment. This is his typical pattern of speech throughout the entire story – or perhaps several stories. Feel free to use this idea yourself. Or perhaps you can come up with a character who expresses his permanent state of disappointment in other ways.

  [VARIATION] Perhaps your character finds everything interesting, shocking, surprising, beautiful, or something else. Once you’ve found something, stick with it rigidly – it’s what makes this character so funny.

  59. I can do better than that.

  Have you ever listened to the radio in the afternoon – especially a radio station where the presenter is trying to be funny – and failing miserably? Reckon you could do better? Of course you could. These shows usually give out their email addresses so listeners can send in comments – and if they don’t mention it on air you’ll probably find it on their website. This is a great opportunity for comedy writers, so make good use of it: send in the funniest joke you can come up with. With any luck they’ll read it out on the show. If that happens, do it again tomorrow – and every day for the next two weeks. By the end of that time – assuming your jokes are good ones – they’re going to be pretty interested in you.

  At the end of the two weeks, add a note to the bottom of your joke saying what you would like to happen next. For example, ask if they could mention your book or whatever product you have*. Or you could ask if you could join the radio show’s writing team. Or ask if they could pay you for your jokes if you continue sending them in. Make sure every joke you send in includes your name and contact details in case someone important calls the radio station and wants to get in touch with you.

  [NOTE] * If you don’t have a product, perhaps you could get someone to use your jokes in a stand-up comedy show – then you could sell recordings of that show and split the money.

  60. I don’t know what you mean.

  Here’s an idea for a comedy character who fails to understand things. Perhaps he isn’t terribly well educated, but he does have a small amount of common sense and a basic understanding of the world. If someone uses flowery language or complicated jargon to describe how something works, and then asks him if he understands, he’ll say no. So she tries again using simpler terms, and again he says no. So she tries again using even simpler terms, and he still says no. And now she’s stumped. She can’t think of a more basic way of explaining it. Perhaps our character then says, ‘You don’t really know, do you?’ And she’s forced to admit that she doesn’t. He might even provide his own very simple explanation from time to time, astounding people with his insight, and helping them to understand something properly for the first time.

  61. I don’t want to.

  A good starting point for a comedy sketch is to find someone who doesn’t want to do something. You could look through history books and ask yourself, for example, what if Napoleon didn’t want to go to war that day? What if a particular person had gone somewhere else, or hadn’t turned up, or arrived late, or did a half-hearted job, or left early, or confided to someone that he really didn’t want to be there?

  [TWIST] You could twist an everyday situation around and make it unexpected. Such as the (very) old joke that begins: ‘I don’t want to go to school today; everyone hates me and calls me names.’ At first we assume it’s a child talking to his mother, but then we learn that it’s the school principal talking to his wife. What other everyday situations like this could you use?

  [VARIATION] You could take this idea in a slightly different direction by having someone admit that the way we see him normally is just an act and he isn’t a bit like that really. So Attila the Hun might come home from a hard day’s marauding, cuddle his cat, put his feet up and read a romantic novel. Or the amiable host of a popular TV gardening show might walk off the set at the end of filming and revert to his true self: swearing, punching people and demanding drugs, drink and loose women.

  62. Impersonating the famous.

  If you’ve ever watched TV shows where the performers do impressions of famous people you might have realised something interesting: you can make famous people say things they didn’t really say – and would never say – but it still sounds as if they did. You can use this idea in comedy writing, which is particularly useful when you need just the right quip or quote but can’t find one. Or if you can’t get (or can’t be bothered to get) permission to use it. You simply write your own funny line, giving an impression or caricature of that person’s way of speaking.

  I would also include a disclaimer at the beginning of your work, saying that all the quotes and dialogue are made up. You’re now free to pepper your work with fantastically funny quotes, attributed to various famous people, which sound as if they really said them. And of course you could also include some quotes that they really did say.

  63. Impropriety.

  Impropriety can lead to some great comedy ideas. Perhaps everyone in your story is selling something or doing something that’s slightly unethical, devious or underhand. It might be as a favour to someone, or to make a bit of extra money ‘on the side’. So certain products or services might appear as something else on a person’s invoice. A company’s name might be listed as something else on the credit card statement – because discretion is assured. Everyone in your story might be up to something. And if not, then their husbands or wives or children might be. Those who aren’t up to anything, or who refuse to get involved, can be portrayed as old-fashioned or posh or out of touch with the real world. But what happens in the end? Perhaps those old-fashioned types were right not to get involved.

  64. Incompetence.

  Try writing a story about a man who owes his amazing success in life to sheer incompetence. He might go for a job interview, for example, but end up in the wrong place. When he tells them he’s come about the job, the only question they ask him is when can he start – so they’re obviously involved in something pretty dodgy. Now he’s got a job, but it’s not the one he applied for. He muddles through life, narrowly avoiding trouble by taking sudden erratic turns, going to the wrong places at the wrong times, misunderstanding instructions, and perhaps, if things get really tricky, phoning his mother. And it all works out remarkably well and he makes a lot of money … until the villains he works for realise that he can’t get by without his mother’s help. When they kidnap her, it’s down to him
to rescue her, and this time he’s completely on his own. Fortunately he has his amazing luck and limitless incompetence on his side. The villains won’t know what hit them.

  65. Insults.

  Insults can be great fun, especially when one character insults another without that person realising it. That might be because the other person is too stupid to realise he’s been insulted. But it’s even better if it’s such a clever and subtle insult that he doesn’t notice it, even if he’s extremely intelligent.

  If the character gets away with insulting him once then he might try it again. Perhaps those insults will become more hurtful or more obvious as he pushes things to see how far he can go.

  Sometimes, though, the direct approach is called for, and this is when the insults can become really funny. You don’t need to worry about disguising the insult in this case; just have the character come straight out with it – and make it funny. Hopefully your readers will crease up with laughter.

  Think about the other character’s response too; he might not take it too kindly. That could lead to counter insults and all sorts of other retaliatory behaviour. Again, try to make this as funny as possible, and fit in with the original insult. Also try searching for ‘insults and revenge’ in a search engine and see what real-life examples you can find.

  [VARIATION] The person being insulted might have immediately realised that he was being insulted, but chose to ignore it … until the time was right!

  66. Irony.

  Irony is a great way of creating comedy situations, but some people find it hard to get right. I just looked up the meaning in an online dictionary and it didn’t help in the slightest – no wonder people have trouble. In fact it’s perfectly simple: think of someone trying to prevent a situation from happening but then suffering the same fate.

  [EXAMPLES]

  A company is having trouble with high levels of staff sickness. They call in a consultant who agrees to come and address the issue at a meeting. But someone falls sick on the day of the meeting. That could be the consultant, or one or more (or all) of the senior managers who travelled across the country to be there. Perhaps they went out for a meal the night before, and were struck down with food poisoning. Perhaps the consultant calls in sick, only to hear that nobody else will be attending the meeting either. Or perhaps the consultant is the only one who shows up.

  You could also have a transport minister coming to open a new road but getting stuck in traffic and arriving late. Or someone who’s due to open a new flood barrier but is prevented from attending by a flood – and they couldn’t close the barrier because he hadn’t officially opened it yet. Or perhaps a farmer moves his sheep to higher ground because of a potential flood, only for either himself or his sheep to drown after falling into a well he didn’t know was there.

  You should be able to think of lots more situations like this. You might not be able to create a whole story out of them, but they’ll make a great scene – or an amusing anecdote for one of your characters to tell.

  67. It couldn’t happen to a better person.

  Here’s something that will get a laugh: accidents that happen to people in power, or those in unpopular jobs. If it happens to several of them at once then the power of the joke is magnified.

  [EXAMPLE] A learner driver has an argument with his examiner during his driving test. As they fight each other for control of the car, they have a series of accidents that are witnessed by many people. But no one bothers to report them because those who were injured were traffic wardens, tax inspectors, used car salesmen, estate agents, and a deeply unpopular politician. To make it even funnier, the examiner could tell the man there were no problems with his driving and he’s passed his test.

  68. It’s funny because it’s true.

  Many stand-up comedians include material in their routines that relates to their own lives and habits. These are often things that everyone else does too … except they don’t usually talk about them.

  The audience recognises that what they’re saying applies to themselves too, and they laugh because not only is it funny but it’s true – and usually highly embarrassing.

  But what if a character in your story had habits that no one in their right mind would reveal? If he revealed these things on stage no one would laugh; they would gasp and cringe in shock, embarrassment and pity. Why is he revealing such revolting things about himself?

  Perhaps in your story this becomes a new form of entertainment. Although no one laughs, they come to value the shock and revulsion. He might soon be in great demand, and need to come up with even more outrageous revelations. But how many of them are true? And if they are true (or even if they are not) how far can he go before he gets into serious trouble with his friends, relatives, and the authorities?

  69. It’s your round.

  One of the easiest ways of coming up with great comedy ideas, jokes, sketches, puns, and so on is a very simple technique known as ‘going for a drink with your friends’. All it needs is a few friends, a few drinks, and a voice recorder concealed in your pocket. Then just see what happens. Next day (when you’re fully sober), play back the recording and see if anything strikes you as particularly funny, poignant, or wittily observed. If it does, write it down and think about how you could use it.

  You might like to keep a set of files for different categories of humour: characters, situations, dialogue, one-liners, jokes, puns, word play, farce, sick humour, toilet humour, political humour, mother-in-law jokes, false rumours, observations about people in the news, and so on. You’ll soon build up a good collection of witticisms that you can call upon whenever you need them. And what a fantastic excuse for going to the pub!

  Use a digital voice recorder that will record for several hours at a time – they’re readily available and you don’t want to have to keep changing tapes. Make sure the sound quality is good enough when it’s concealed in your pocket.

  If you don’t go out with your friends regularly, you could invite them to your house for an evening. Or just pop into your local bar and see if you can find anyone to talk to. Chances are one or two of your neighbours will pop in at some point, and they’ll probably know other people there too, so you can join in with their discussions.

  70. Jokes 1.

  So you’ve got to come up with some new jokes. You’ve got a blank screen or sheet of paper in front of you. What are you going to do? Brilliant new jokes aren’t just going to pop into your head fully-formed. Start by picking a few subjects that you know about, or that you often comment on when talking to friends. Make a list of these. Now take one of these subjects and make a list of everything you can think of about it – just the key words and phrases. A Mind Map is a great way of doing this. This will give you something solid to work from, and it gets rid of the blank page problem very quickly.

  Perhaps you could also draw a rough picture of your subject – just a doodle. And maybe include some people and a few speech bubbles. Perhaps you could draw something in the background or foreground that doesn’t really fit the situation – something out of the ordinary or that seems strikingly out of context. Have the people in your drawing comment on it, or try to outdo each other to make the best comment (your friends can help you with this!)

  71. Jokes 2.

  Take a newspaper clipping of any story that appeals to you. Items that report on statistical findings and future predictions often make good starting points for jokes. You can twist them around and use them in various ways. What might the results be in the future if the trend continues? Extend it beyond its natural limit, so it becomes absurd. What might the consequences be for anyone included in the results? What about those who aren’t included? If the prediction is good, how could it possibly happen given the mess that the world is in today? If it’s bad, shouldn’t some politician step in and stop it? How about [name of politician currently in the news because of some predicament he’s got himself involved in]? Report what he’s been up to, and how he could use that situation to preve
nt the predicted results from happening. But keep it funny.

  [EXTENSION] How about if the person in the news has a history of fouling things up? How might he make this new situation even worse? See if you can list different ten ways in which he could really screw things up. Then pick the best ideas you come up with and turn them into jokes.

  72. Jokes that only work on TV.

  On TV you can use a type of joke that doesn’t work in any other medium. This is where a character is seen (or heard) doing something, but when the camera pulls back to reveal the whole scene the circumstances are different from what we had been led to expect.

  [EXAMPLE] In an operating theatre scene, the atmosphere is tense and the camera is tightly focussed on the surgeon as he asks for various surgical instruments to be passed to him. His forehead glistens with sweat. There is the sound of a heart monitor in the background. Suddenly the heart rate rises dramatically and a buzzer sounds. The surgeon throws down his instruments and says: ‘Okay, Stan, you have a go. Maybe one of us has the talent to save him, but it isn’t me.’ Then the camera pulls back to reveal that they’re playing the children’s game Operation. I’m sure you can come up with some better ideas than this!