Damaged and the Saint

by Bijou Hunter

  Holding her tighter, I sighed. “When I got back from Mexico, I thought everything would be different. It was for me, but the world looked the same. People had gotten married or had kids. Bought houses or moved away. Life continued for everyone except me.”

  “We do it too. People right now are suffering and dying and we're going on with our lives. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

  I couldn’t help smiling. “I keep waiting for me to lose control again. With you, I should be overwhelmed with all these feelings. I should be thinking crazy, but I'm calm. I know what I want and I'll wait for it. I will also kill anyone who stands in my way. Everything is very clear to me.”

  Harlow cuddled closer to me. “I love when you make crazy threats. My nipples got hard and everything.”

  “Why don’t I carry you to bed and kiss away those tears. How do your nipples feel about that?”

  Setting aside the album, Harlow climbed into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  “We shouldn’t take any chances. You should make those threats while fucking me.”

  I stood up and carried her to the bedroom. “The good news is I’m an ace student. You just tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”

  Harlow made a noise somewhere between a squeal and moan. In this place with this woman, we were just two people in love. Nothing would ever be allowed to interfere with this simplicity. Even if it meant spilling blood.

  Chapter Forty One ~ Harlow

  Feverish dreams left me tired on our last morning at the cabin. Yet I awoke wanting Rafael inside me. Almost as if I feared this amazing feeling might end once we returned to the hotel.

  More than willing to oblige my morning hunger, Rafael fucked me lazily. I came twice before he finally relented.

  “That’s how you make sure a girl wakes with a smile,” he said, his cock twitching inside me.

  “Will you fuck me like this when we’re at the hotel?”

  “Is that a real question?”

  I shrugged while he rolled off me, just enough to reach for a drink. We each took a gulp then I sighed.

  “It’s easy to forget the world out here.”

  “The world isn’t the problem, Harlow. The problem has always been the scars inside us. We take them with us wherever we go, but they’re less painful now. At least, they are for me. I can think about Mexico without feeling rage. I can let myself remember the smell and heat of the cell, but I don’t lose myself now. You keep me anchored. You’ll do that at the hotel or in Houston or anywhere else we go in life.”

  I stared at him in awe that this incredible man loved me. If I were him, I’d choose someone better in every way. Yet he wanted me. Grabbing onto my good luck, we didn’t leave the bed for another half hour.

  After a shower, we drank coffee and ate bagels on the porch. Inside the cabin, the bedding ran through the wash. I’d tried to de-sex the house as much as possible, but Vaughn and Raven knew why I wanted the cabin. They couldn’t act shocked now, could they? Of course, the impending teasing was inevitable.

  “My mom will want you to call her mom,” Rafael said, finishing his second cup of coffee and third bagel. “She always wanted a daughter. You should expect a lot of smothering.”

  I smiled. “I’m pretty good at hugs. I never offer them first, so tell her I’m not a bitch if I hold back.”

  “She won’t think that. Mom will be so happy I have a woman. You could be a raging monster and she’d still love you. My behavior over the years has caused the bar to be set really low. You’re welcome.”

  Laughing, I reached over and caressed his cheek. “You’re so damn smart.”

  “I nabbed you, didn’t I?”

  Again, I imagined someone better for Rafael. A tall lanky woman with exotic looks to match his and a knowledge of the world I lacked. The morning sun shined against his rich skin, making me feel small and ordinary in comparison. Those dark eyes held a hint of humor as he thought of his mom. No doubt, his family would wonder the same thing I did. Why had Rafael settled for me?

  “Mom loves making her world famous jambalaya which is nearly inedible. You'll have to pretend it’s great though.”

  “I’ve never eaten jambalaya before. I’m sure I’ll like it.”

  “No, you won’t,” he stressed. “It’s awful. She drowns it in black pepper and cayenne. I don’t know how she can’t tell it’s awful. We all pretend it’s great because the recipe was handed down in her family for generations. The problem is somewhere along the way, something in the recipe got jacked and now it’s terrible. No one has the heart to admit it to Mom though. She’s too proud of keeping the tradition alive.”

  “My mom makes this one casserole that is super healthy, but tastes awful. We lie and eat it up then pray she doesn’t make it for a while. I’ve got the fake smiles down. An iron stomach too.”

  Rafael studied me then a smile slid across his face. “My family is going to love you. Don’t worry.”

  “I’m not,” I lied, but he was onto me. “My family is iffy towards you. I think it’s the killer thing.”

  “I’m here for at least the summer, possibly longer depending on what you need. They’ll have plenty of time to warm to my charms.”

  “No hurry, right?”

  “Not even a little bit of a hurry.”

  I shared his smile. “Once the bedding is done drying, we can return to town and have a non-sandwich meal.”

  “You’re very uppity,” he teased, going back inside to get more coffee. “After you have some of that jambalaya, you’ll be dying for sandwiches.”

  Laughing again, I imagined a life with Rafael away from Ellsberg, family, and friends. Not the friendliest person, how would I make new friends? Would anyone besides Rafael like me? He wanted to start a business, but I wasn’t equipped to help run it or do security assignments. I was only a blue belt in karate.

  Rafael suddenly stood next me. “Come inside so I can fuck that anxiety right out of you.”

  “The bed is stripped down, so we can’t defile it again.”

  “How about we defile the couch then?” he asked, tugging me to my feet. “And the kitchen counter too?”

  “Oh, Bob, you sure know how to sweet talk,” I whispered, running my fingers through the dark hairs on his forearm.

  Rafael leaned down and nuzzled one of my cheeks then the other. “I can’t believe how good it feels. There’s fucking then there’s what we have. I can’t get enough.”

  My hands crept into his shirt and stroked his nipples, making him shiver. “You’ve turned me sex crazed. Let’s go defile some shit.”

  Rafael snorted at my enthusiasm, but kept pace while I pulled him into the cabin. We stripped by the couch where I rested on my knees before glancing back at his naked perfection.

  “This is an ass a man could write poems about,” he said, caressing one cheek before sliding his cock against my pussy.

  I wasn't wet enough, so Rafael leaned down and took a deep lick.

  “Hell,” I whimpered as his fingers pinched my nipples. “Don’t wait.”

  Rafael gently bit my ass cheek then I felt his cock against teasing and testing my pussy. Finding me ready, he pushed deep inside of me until I was full.

  “Ready, baby?” he asked, wrapping my hair in his hand.

  I gave him a smile and he moved his hips fast and rough. We fucked hard once then moved to the laundry room where I moved the bedding to the dryer. Once the machine was rocking, I found myself sitting on it with Rafael back inside me.

  After the bedding finished drying, I made the bed then wiped down any surfaces my bare ass sat on.

  “I wouldn’t worry so much,” Rafael said as I went at the couch with disinfecting spray.

  “Maybe, but Vaughn saved my life. I don’t want to leave his cabin…you know, um… sexed up or whatever.”

  “Good point. He did save your life,” Rafael said, kissing the top of my head. “You missed the corner.”

  Smiling, I sprayed until ch
oking on the apple cinnamon scent. We finished packing up then head to the SUV. I stood at the door, holding my photo album with the DVD inside.

  “This was the best two days of my life.”

  Rafael wrapped me in my arms. “And it’s just beginning. Imagine once we get the hang of this love and sex thing.”

  Chapter Forty Two ~ Saint

  Vaughn held a bowling ball in one hand and wore a wild smirk on his face. Next to him, Raven stared at me through narrowed eyes while nodding as if I was in deep shit. Suffice to say, I laughed. What the hell else was I supposed to do?

  “Bring it, little man,” Vaughn said, staring up at me.

  I retrieved one of the balls from the ball return and looked it over. “My grandfather started taking me to the alley when I was four. We went every week until I was so good I could’ve gone pro. Only reason I didn’t was I was too damn pretty.”

  Glancing back at Harlow, I found her grinning while cuddled next to Winnie on a bench. I returned my gaze to Vaughn.

  “Let’s go, ponytail.”

  We played for two hours, but Vaughn was ready to go for another few. He claimed I was the first competition he’d enjoyed besides Raven. Dylan disputed this fact and proved he was quite the bowler. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew showed little interest in doing more than goofing off at the tables nearby. Jace and Sawyer were the only other ones interested in bowling, but they sucked.

  I offered to help Jace improve. He pretended to agree, but remained scared of me. I didn’t blame him. I’d be scared of a guy like me too. Sawyer wasn’t afraid though and yanked at my arm to help her and Jace.

  By the end of the game, Vaughn was my new best friend and greatest enemy. Raven said I should take it as a compliment. Harlow said Vaughn needed to get another hobby. Raven rubbed her baby bump. Harlow rolled her eyes. Their bickering went on for a long time, only interrupted whenever Bailey hugged Harlow and congratulated her again for getting porked.

  In Ellsberg with Harlow, these people were a package deal. I couldn’t have her without them, so I made friends for the first time since high school.

  The next few weeks, Harlow and I fell into a routine. We spent our mornings at the club gym. Sometimes, Nick would join us. Other times, Judd and Vaughn did. Later, Harlow spent time at her house with Jace or at Winnie’s place. While she enjoyed family time, I ran drills with Cooper and his main guys.

  In Kirk’s day, hard and fast fighting worked fine. The world was changing though. Cooper was taking over in a time when low-level losers wielded high power weapons. Gangs from the West Coast now worked throughout the country, bringing assault weapons with them. The old ways of fighting might not be enough to keep Cooper on top.

  I taught them the counter-insurgency techniques I’d learned over the years. Every day even in the rain, we trained in the woods around Kirk’s house. I showed the guys different weapons and explosives. Mostly, I wanted them to learn a soft touch when dealing with the enemy. Not everything was crashing through doors and wielding bats.

  Tucker never caught on. He couldn’t do soft and had the loudest footsteps even on plush carpet. Cooper wasn’t much better, but I knew he’d practice until he had it figured out. Vaughn and Dylan showed a lot of potential, but Judd was the one I considered snagging from Cooper’s employment. The guy mimicked my every movement. He was like a ghost in the woods, silently disappearing only to reappear in attack mode. As much as I wanted to snatch him up, he was happy in Ellsberg.

  The town never truly felt comfortable for me though. With my size and dark skin, I stood out among the lily-white residents. People learned my name, waving at me on the streets. Everyone seemed to know my story. I was Bob who was marrying Pastor Tad’s daughter. No, the older one. He’s a businessman from out of town, they’d tell each other while I stood nearby.

  I missed being anonymous.

  Harlow was worth any discomfort. With her, I slept better than I had in years. I felt lighter, yet stronger.

  Every morning, Harlow awoke grumpy before remembering I was lying next to her. A smile soon slid across her face and she reached for me, wanting a sweaty morning wakeup.

  She trusted me completely. I never saw a moment of fear in her eyes. Not even when I lost my temper with some asshole at a bar and nailed him in the throat. She stepped away from his falling body, but otherwise remained calm. Harlow understood me. I wasn’t a raging bull and I would never hurt her. She was always safe with me. I saw this understanding in her big beautiful eyes from the moment we woke up to the last second before she fell asleep at night.

  Chapter Forty Three ~ Harlow

  Cooper’s fondest memories growing up were the summers RVing with his family. A daughter of his own now, he wanted to start a tradition for Lily too, even if she was too little to remember it.

  As the summer ended, the crew rented eight RVs while Kirk and Jodi drove their own. With so many babies coming along, we planned a short trip to Twin Knobs at Morehead. Nature, friends, family, and fun were how Tucker put it before adding beer to the list.

  Rafael couldn’t hide how relieved he felt to get out of town. I both loved and hated the childlike excitement on his face as we left Ellsberg. All these weeks, he enjoyed hanging out with the crew. When not with our friends and my family, we tried dozens of restaurants and explored every nook of the small town. Through it all, he always seemed happy.

  Yet Rafael needed more than Ellsberg offered.

  As much as I loved my family, friends, and the town I called home, I needed Rafael to be truly happy.

  We arrived at the campground around noon. Everyone spent the next few hours organizing supplies and taking care of babies. Rafael and I mainly fucked until I could barely move.

  Propping up my ass for him, I rested my chest on a pillow while Rafael thrust hard into me, still hungry after hours with our bodies moving together. I smiled at his possessive eyes and the way he wrapped my hair around his hand. I was his and he’d kill to keep me.

  Finally, Rafael relented. Though I sensed he wanted more, his body needed rest. Mine was absolutely exhausted.

  When I rolled over and sat cross-legged, Rafael’s gaze focused on my naked body especially my still hard nipples

  “I need a break,” I said, grinning.

  “From me or my cock?”

  “I hate hearing that word out loud. Can’t you call it your sword of pleasure?”

  Rafael glanced down at his sword and nodded. “Sword, it is.”

  “Shh,” I whispered. “You’ll wake it up and my vajayjay needs rest.”

  “I’ll do what I can, but you and the sword have a special bond.”

  Taking his hand, I grinned. “Let’s stop talking about your dick, okay?”

  “If you think you can.”

  I laughed despite needing to be serious. “I want to talk.”

  “About feelings?” he asked, rolling to his side and giving me a different delicious angle to enjoy.

  “About moving to Houston. That’s still where you want to go, right?”

  Rafael’s expression never changed, but my words caught him off guard.

  “It’s less than a three hour flight to see your family,” he finally said.

  “Vacation is over.”

  “Why now?”

  “It’s time.”

  Rafael nodded. “We can get a little place in Ellsberg. That way we can visit a lot without the sword of pleasure going without. Unless your parents want to change their rule about married children playing in their house.”

  “No, my parents wouldn’t appreciate your sword’s constant needs.”

  “Tell me about it,” he said, glancing at where his cock thickened. “If I need to take care of it without you, I’ll manage. Especially if you’re willing to moan and wiggle for visual effect.”

  Grinning, I crawled off the bed. Rafael’s disappointed expression was hilarious. I wasn’t leaving though, but turning around. Resting on my stomach, I studied his sword.

  “Are you patient enough
to let me learn?” I asked, licking the head of his cock. Grinning when it twitched at my touch, I glanced at him. “With Playboy, he just jammed it down my throat. I’m not doing that.”

  Rafael’s expression barely shifted, yet I felt his anger. Fingers tracing my jaw, he struggled with his temper.

  “You said you’d train me,” I said, arching an eyebrow.

  “Let me see your technique.”

  Grinning, I gently held the base of his already hard cock. My tongue danced around the head. At first, I lacked coordination and felt stupid, yet his soft exhales encouraged me to keep going. Finding a rhythm between my stroking hand and sucking lips, I shivered at how Rafael caressed my hair. Even with his hunger and the lingering anger at my mention of Playboy, he was so tender. Careful like a man who never suffered from any control issues. With me, he was perfection.

  Once I sucked him dry, Rafael offered to repay me. I was tired in a wonderful kind of way. I’d never felt so grown up as when we rested together in the warm RV bedroom. The time had come to build something new with the man I loved.

  Nostalgia hit me the next day. Without them knowing, I was saying goodbye to my friends and little sister. In the evening, we sat by the fire and talked about random things. Kirk told stories about when his kids were young. Mostly, he enjoyed regaling about their stupidity. Sawyer laughed the loudest, often pointing at Bailey who held her middle fingers permanently up. The sisters finally settled down and roasted marshmallows. Nick seemed especially interested in this activity, making me wonder if this was his first time around the campfire.

  “I can imagine us still doing this in ten years. Hell, twenty years,” Cooper said with Lily asleep against his chest.

  Vaughn wrapped an arm around Raven. “We’ll need a giant RV for all the kids we’re planning.”

  “Sure,” Maddy said. “You think that now before the baby is born and you’re up all night changing diapers. Let’s see what you say after this first one gets colic.”