by Ashlee Price
I was feeling bummed when he left, and I think the cats were feeling it too, because Rocy was being feisty to the mate we’d brought to her. I was feeling dejected, and instead of trying to figure out something to do about it all, I decided to take an early break and see if I could get a few minutes with Jane. It had been too long since I’d seen her. I tried to call her and it went straight to voicemail. Instead of leaving one, I sent her a text and got my coat. There was nothing more urgent than a mid-day margarita and some nachos at El Mariachi with Jane – if I could manage to get her away from her work for a few minutes.
Looking back only once at Rocy and the lab, I turned back to the door and hoped that Jane would be able to help me figure out what was going on in my life and what I was doing that was making it so hard.
Chapter 2 – Mia
“I’m so glad that you could get out of there, Jane. You don’t know how bad I need this. I needed a drink and you.”
“Are we going back to work?”
I shrugged, not really sure if I wanted to go back to work. It was a weird kind of feeling at the sanctuary, and it was doing nothing for the mood I was in about Logan. He hadn’t called in over a week and I was still trying to figure that out. I knew that Jane was the one I was going to have to talk to about it. She was the one who would give me the advice I needed. The advice that wasn’t going to mess everything up worse than it already was.
“I don’t want to go back to work. Everything is a mess, and I would much rather stay here and not have to worry about any of that nonsense.”
She looked sympathetic, but she was ready to talk about Logan. I had hinted about what was bothering me so much. Now that I had to come clean with the rest of it, I didn’t want to. After I had tried to run it through my head to say it to her, I realized that what was going on was mainly all in my head. Sure, I was thinking about Logan because he had said a few things that could have been taken sexually, but I started to question if that too was just all in my head and I had been looking at it the wrong way.
“So tell me about this guy that has you drinking in the middle of the day.”
She nudged the glass that was in front of me and I looked away. It was not always pleasant to see Jane, she was too blunt, but I knew that I would always get her honest opinion. She didn’t believe in mincing words, and that was what I actually needed, no matter how hard it was to hear sometimes.
So I told her everything that I could about Logan. I even told her about the kiss that made my knees buckle and then the gasping despair when days went by and I didn’t hear from him. I just laid it all out there. Then I felt bare in front of her. It felt like I had said too much, but there was no taking it back after it was out there like that.
“Wow.”
“I know.” I was holding my breath, waiting for her to give it to me straight. I was sure that she was going to tell me that I needed to get on some meds because obviously I had lost my mind.
“So why don’t you call him?”
It was not the answer that I was looking for. I was a little surprised that she would say that. “I can’t call him. Not after this long, and I don’t think the girl is ever really supposed to call.”
She waved me on like I didn’t know what I was talking about. “What do you mean? This is not the fifties. There is no rule that says a man has to ask a woman out. You guys had a good time, a good kiss, so why not see if he wants to do it again?”
“You make it sound so easy, Jane.”
“You make it so complicated. You’re overthinking it, I’m telling you. There is nothing wrong with liking a guy and asking him out.”
“It’s complicated because he’s promoting the sanctuary, so it’s work related.”
Jane’s red head shook. She wasn’t going to go for it. “I don’t buy it. So what if he runs the PR company that is going to do a couple of commercials and ads for the sanctuary? That has nothing to do with you or your love life.”
I wanted to think the way that she was thinking, but at the same time I kind of knew that I wasn’t going to call him. If he never called, I would pine and I would wonder about the what-ifs, but I pretty much knew that I wasn’t going to be the one who made the next move. I just wasn’t that type of person, and there was something about a man being the one in charge of that kind of thing. It made everything easier and I wasn’t left to wonder like I was now.
“You aren’t going to do it, are you, Mia?”
She knew me too well. I just kind of left it with a noncommittal sound that I hoped conveyed the fact that I wasn’t going to lie and I didn’t necessarily want to talk about it.
“I’m just going to see what happens.”
She sighed at me and I felt like I was letting her down in some way. It was a weird feeling to have, but there was something about it all that didn’t sit well with me. I wanted to take her advice, but I knew that I wasn’t going to. It was good advice, maybe exactly what I needed to do, but I still just wanted to hide it all away and hope that he called me instead.
“Well, seeing what happens never does work well for me. I hope it works better for you than it has for me. Every time I want something, especially when it has to do with a man, I need to get it all out.”
“You’re married, it’s different.”
“No, it isn’t. Carl didn’t want to get married. He was talking about sewing wild oats or something like that. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going to get my way about it and I always have. You need to make yourself so clear that you feel like you’re talking to a kid about it.”
I had to laugh at her. She always had such a way of saying things that I felt stupid for believing anything else. Why was I so worried about calling him? I could always use some excuse, a thank-you or a question, if I felt like things were starting to go south. I don’t know why, but I was trying not to think about the what-ifs. Maybe I did need to just call him and see what happened. It couldn’t be any worse than it was right then, wondering.
“I think I might.”
“Well, actually do, Mia. You get too far in your head, and sometimes it’s better to just take the more direct approach and go.”
I knew she was right and that I was going to listen to her more than I thought I would in the beginning. I took the subject off of me and back to her and Carl. They were trying for a baby, a step I didn’t think I would ever get to in my life. I was a little jealous, but so happy for her as well. I hoped that it happened quickly for them. The two of them would be good parents, and if she took care of the baby anything like she did all of the animals there at the zoo, there was no way that it would turn out bad.
Feeling a little better from talking to Jane, I did go back to work for the last hour of the day, but avoided everyone. I was getting better at it each day that went by. Instead of spending time with any of my human co-workers, I took the rest of the day to sit and be with Rocy. She calmed down when I was in there with her, and I hoped that it would be a turning point and soon she would be with her mate. My mind went to Logan only briefly, wishing that he was mine.
Chapter 3 – Logan
“So do you have the copy for me?”
Jesse nodded her head and handed me the copy of the new commercial that was going out for the sanctuary. I had been looking for a reason to call Mia, and though I knew that I didn’t need one, I needed that crutch in case she wasn’t into talking to me. After the way things had been left and me not calling, I knew that it was going to be a tossup how I was taken when I did finally call.
After Jesse left, I picked up the phone and then set it down. Repeating it twice, I finally got up and picked up my jacket off of the rack. I knew that I had a lot of things to do in the office, but I wanted to see Mia. Calling wasn’t going to be enough.
I’d thought that I would have already had her, but it was becoming clear that the only thing that I needed to have was a whole lot more patience than I usually did. Mia was not like other women. I would have already had her in my bed if that were the ca
se, and even though I knew I needed to take it slow with her, everything in me was screaming for something else altogether.
Getting to the sanctuary, I asked the front desk where I could find Mia, and after several mini-interrogations, I was taken to the back of the complex where I had seen her before. The cat now had another one just like it, and while I was still a little leery of something so big, it seemed different because I had seen the female snuggled up to Mia. I knew that it wasn’t the cat, but the woman, though I started to see everything differently, like I was seeing it through her eyes.
“Mia?” I didn’t like the apprehension in my voice, but I knew that it was because of her. I had waited too long to see her, and just like when I was going through alcohol withdrawal syndrome, I was craving my next fix almost as much as I needed the next breath in my lungs. There was no answer, so I moved deeper into the habitat, keeping my eyes on the cats. They couldn’t get out of their lockup, but I still had a fear that they would. I still didn’t know how she could work in such conditions, but I knew that it was perfect for her.
“Mia?” Saying her name a little louder, I stopped walking so that I could hear an answer. There wasn’t one, and I started to wonder if the lady in the front was right and she wasn’t actually back there at all.
“Who are you looking for?”
I turned around to the rude voice and saw a man who was much smaller and shorter than me, as well as younger, scowling at me as if I had personally calumniated one of his family members or something of that nature. I could feel the hatred coming from him, and my mind went to the man that Mia had said something about before. I didn’t know who he was, but I had a feeling that I was not wanted there and that he wanted Mia for himself. It all came to me in a flash, and I wasn’t sure if I was right, but the longer I looked into the dark eyes of the man in front of me, the more certain I got.
“I’m here to see Mia.”
“She’s busy. Why don’t you come back later, or call next time.”
I was at a loss for words. It had been a long time since anyone had talked to me like that, and I was not enjoying it. The kid was obviously upset about something, and although Mia wasn’t mine, there was a part of me that wanted him to know that she was. I wanted to claim her right then and there so the kid would stop with all of his ideas that they were going to be together.
“She knows that I’m coming, so I will wait around here. If you want to show me in the right direction, I will go to her now.”
His face twitched, and I could tell that he wasn’t happy with the suggestion I was making. I didn’t blame him, not really, but I wasn’t going to lose my chance with her because of some guy that thought he had a chance. She was mine, and there was no way I was going to let her slip away from me.
“I’ll take you to her.”
“Thank you. What’s your name? I’m Logan.”
“Yeah, I know who you are.”
He didn’t seem to think that all of my generosity to the sanctuary was all that much of a good thing. Everyone else had been nice and welcomed me with open arms, but not the man who called himself Ryland. I remembered Mia telling me about him in passing, and although I didn’t like the fact that she had dated him – or anyone else, for that matter – I knew that there was no competition there. Seeing him and knowing how she felt about him, there was a part of me that pitied him. I knew what it was like to want someone so badly when there is nothing that can be done to change their mind. I was starting to hope that Mia wasn’t going to turn out to be that kind of girl. I didn’t know if I could take another heartbreak. I didn’t want the dejected look that Ryland had on his face.
***
Ryland didn’t go into the lab with me. At first I thought he was going to get hostile, but then he took a different approach and wouldn’t even go in with me at all. I had a feeling that he didn’t want Mia to react to him the way she normally would in front of me. He didn’t want it to appear like there was nothing going on between them when he had made it clear that there was. Again I felt pity for him, but quickly I was thinking of all kinds of different things.
Mia was wearing a lab coat, and her reddish blonde hair was pulled up high into a pony tail. There wasn’t a lick of makeup on her, and she had that natural beauty shining through that was hard to let go unnoticed. She was beautiful and when she looked my way, and my heart beat a little harder in my chest.
“Logan? What are you doing here?”
I knew that she was talking to me, that I had to answer, but I couldn’t. I just stared back at her for a minute until she giggled and asked me if I was okay.
Chapter 4 – Mia
“Are you okay?”
He didn’t say yes or nod his head, he just moved towards me. I drank in the sight of him and wondered why I was suddenly so relaxed. Was his presence really that necessary for me to feel normal? Why did I only feel normal when he was around now?
“Yeah, I’m fine, Mia. I thought I would come by and see you.”
“Why?” I groaned inwardly at the quick question that I wished I could take back. It didn’t matter why he was there, just that he was there should have been enough for me.
My quick response threw him off and the smile that I was so used to faltered. He didn’t have an answer for me. While I wished that I had said something else, he finally told me that he was there to let me see the new commercial that was just finished. I looked at my phone.
“Well, you could have just called me, Logan. I know how busy you are.”
I was trying to show him that I wasn’t going to push for more from him, and at the same time I was trying to convince myself that all I needed to do was convince him to see me again. There he was and I was acting like I didn’t know how to act at all around men. What was my deal?
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you, Mia.”
He handed me the small file and I looked at it and then back up to him.
“It’s not that, Logan. I’m just having a bad day, so just don’t mind me.”
He said that he wouldn’t, but I could tell that my bad mood had made him a little skittish. I wished that I didn’t feel the way I did, but with Logan standing there, I still wasn’t sure how I felt about everything. I knew that I wanted him to be there, but what to say and to what end I still didn’t really have much of a clue.
“Let me take you to lunch. Maybe if you got out of here for a while, you would be able to think better.”
I looked up at the clock. It was ten in the morning, and that was a little too early for me to be leaving for my break.
“Kind of early to get something for lunch, huh?”
He sighed out loud. “It’s a little early, but I just want to see you. We could take a look at the tape and see what you think of it. I wanted to get your approval before we send it out for production. I want everything to be perfect for you.”
There was earnestness in his voice, and I knew that he was serious. There was something in the way that he was looking at me and the way he was standing so close, but not attempting to really touch me. It didn’t matter about my approval. He had done all of it out of the kindness of his heart, and I wasn’t even paying for the promotions. So if he made a commercial, for free, I was stupid if I wasn’t going to take it.
But to see him in this way, I wasn’t sure what to do. All of my confidence was gone, and the thoughts that lingered in my head, the pep talk that Jane had given me, it was all for naught, because I was left speechless and a little weak-kneed when I finally had the chance to do something. He was right there in front of me and I couldn’t think to say or do anything.
“Mia, come, you will see that it’s perfect.”
His hand touched my arm, sending a shiver through my body, and I just nodded. I would go anywhere he suggested. All he had to do was touch me and I was unable to say no. We walked back to my office and he sat in my chair, putting the media file into the computer. I waited for him to turn it around and watch the commercial that I had given him a date for.
I was ready to see if my ‘sacrifice’ was going to have been worth it.
It started with Rocy and for some reason it felt like it had been done for me. Everything about it was personal, although my name was never mentioned. I glanced at him a couple of times, but the last time he was looking at me with a big grin on his face that made me smile back.
“Did you like it?”
Again, I didn’t have the power to speak. I felt choked up with the way it was all going. Why did he make me feel so different than I had ever felt before? I felt giddy, and I felt like I should just give into whatever he wanted in return for all of his kindness. Part of me hoped that he would expect more. I wanted more.
“Have I made you speechless? Was it that bad?”
I shook my head. “No, it was really good. I think that this is exactly what we need to do to get more people coming through the door. You have helped so much. I don’t know what I can do to repay you.”
There was a leap of heat in his eyes and I felt myself responding. I wanted to tell him that that wasn’t how I meant it, but bringing it up didn’t seem to be a way to make matters any better. The desk started to dig into my back. I had been moving back for several moments as he came closer.
“I would really like another kiss, Mia. I’ve waited a long time for one.”
I didn’t have to answer, and he wasn’t really asking, because before I could say or do anything, Logan was leaning down and brushing his lips against mine. I sighed into his mouth as I opened my lips to let him taste me. This kiss was different. It started much the same as the last time, but something changed after a few moments and Logan was pinning me to the desk with his body.
Whimpering, my arms went to his neck and I gasped as he lifted me up to the edge of the desk. I clung to him with my legs, a reflex at being moved around so quickly, and he used the opportunity to press more of his hardness against me. The part of him that was pulsing for me felt too good to ignore and I heard a moan rip through my throat as he ground against me.
