Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 2

by Hirukuma

  Robbed of her stoic demeanor, Vice Captain Filmina puts her hand to her cheek and breaks into a smile. The other hunters, seeing her blissful expression, all at once run out of patience. Their hands extend toward me, one after the next.

  All right, all right, you don’t need to fight over me. Everyone can have as much food and drink as they want. I can’t provide any alcohol, but I can give you everything else.

  “You’ve got all these people flocking to you. They look so happy. Any person would have a hard time pulling this off,” says Hulemy, her black outfit curiously closed in the front, as she raps her knuckles on my body. Though it was a casual remark, I feel a warm sensation. Maybe I don’t have actual senses like that, since I have a mechanical body, but I want to believe this feeling, this warmth, isn’t just my imagination.

  As the hunters continue to eat and drink, I’m simply happy to provide. This sensation is less a sprouting of my self-awareness as a vending machine and more natural human emotion. As long as I can hang on to these feelings and values, I can press on as a vending machine, come what may.

  “Boxxo… Let’s be…together…forever…zzz.”

  Lammis is curled up in slumber like a kitten, wearing a blissful expression on her face.

  Okay. Until the day comes when you’re the one to leave me, let’s be together.

  We arrived back at the settlement without any accidents on the way.

  Karios and Gorth, the two gatekeepers, are there to welcome me safely back from the hideout, overjoyed as though they were the ones that had been rescued. When we went back to the Hunters Association after that, customers began coming out of the woodwork. It became such a crowd that I couldn’t see my surroundings.

  It would seem that going even one day without tasting my products proved too much for some; many people buy much more than usual. As I gaze over the lines of customers, I glimpse Miss Acowi, the money changer, with a suspicious glint in her eyes.

  She’s scribbling something into a notebook. She must mean to retrieve the silver coins I’ve accumulated so many of.

  Despite the fact that I had returned early in the morning, the lines of customers didn’t disperse until nighttime. It was practically the middle of the night before I sold to the last person.

  “Good work again today, Boxxo.”

  A familiar voice echoes behind me. Lammis, a smile on her face, comes up and stands next to me.

  Normally, I would be surprised—what had she come out so late at night for? But there’s a reason I’m fine with it. She’s been there all along. The whole day, right nearby.

  She still left when someone asked something of her, but aside from that, she never went farther than fifteen feet from me. Right now, she’s wrapped in a sleeping bag, with only her head poking out. Her smile is so wide, it looks like someone put two big, curved pieces of fish together on her face.

  My kidnapping must have really gotten to her. She seems to have decided she’ll sleep outdoors tonight so she doesn’t have to leave me alone. Hulemy and Munami tried to persuade her otherwise, but she remained stubborn and unyielding.

  Director Bear seemed worried, too. He put up a guard at the Hunters Association entrance—which didn’t normally have a guard—just to keep watch for us.

  “I’m sure you’re really tired as well, Boxxo. You have to sleep, too.”

  “Welcome.”

  Let’s call it quits for today and turn out the lights.

  She probably won’t leave my side for a while, but there’s no other vending machine out there being worried over so excessively. I’ll stick with her until she decides otherwise.

  “Can I talk to you until I fall asleep?”

  Of course. I can’t do anything but listen, but I’ll listen as much as you want.

  As she goes on about this and that, her voice happy, I shift my gaze to the night sky spread out overhead. It may seem like we’re outdoors, but this is a dungeon, and there are no stars up there. Even though there’s a sun.

  My Japanese common sense doesn’t apply to this fantastical dungeon scenery, and as I gaze at it, I start to really feel as though I’ve returned home.

  Without knowing any of that, Lammis continues to talk, her full smile never leaving her face, her words carried up and away on the night’s breeze.

  Devoted to You

  My vision rocks up and down, left and right. And sometimes, the scenery blurs swiftly by.

  “Boxxo, it’ll be noon soon, so let’s take a break.”

  Lammis is helping with the reconstruction today with as much vigor as always. I can hear her voice from very close. I’m on her back, so that makes sense. I’d be fine if she let me down, though.

  She’s been with me constantly, ever since we returned from the kidnapping incident. Before now, she’d been setting me on the ground while she worked, but now I’m on her back no matter what. The only times she leaves are when she needs to go to the bathroom; we spend the vast majority of the day together.

  I’m not unhappy with it, but…maybe she’s getting a little too dependent on me.

  “You two get along so well it’s almost creepy. Yo, Boxxo. You doing okay?”

  Hulemy waves at us and approaches, wearing her usual black garments. As always, she seems oblivious to cohesive outfits and fashion, and her frizzy hair is messily tied back.

  She’s put even less effort into her appearance than when she was locked up in the basement. What’s going on?

  “Oh, Hulemy. Are you okay now? You’re not still tired, are you?”

  “I’m great. When I was locked up, I ate better than I normally do, so I’m fit as a fiddle.”

  They seem to be very good friends. They always try to meet during break time every day.

  Hulemy generally gives off the impression of an intellectual older sister, so it’s funny when Lammis sometimes worries about her like her mother.

  “Anyway, why not put Boxxo down while you work? Isn’t he getting in the way?”

  “No, not at all! I have so much strength that if I don’t wear something as heavy as Boxxo, it’s actually more difficult to move.”

  Hmm. That’s not the only reason, I’m sure. I’m happy she’s concerned for me, but her overprotectiveness has been excessive. Maybe we should do something about it.

  “But, Lammis, if you’re always there, won’t it scare away his customers?”

  “Ah, ngh… But if I leave, he might get kidnapped again.”

  “Boxxo is being more careful now, too. Right?”

  “Welcome.”

  “W-well… If you say so, Boxxo.”

  Reluctantly, Lammis sets me on the ground and puffs out her cheek a little in a mild display of dissatisfaction. Now I can have some time to myself. Good job, Hulemy.

  To be honest, being carried all the time has caused my sales to plummet. Only so many people are brave enough to buy something from a vending machine moving around so vigorously on someone’s back. The two gatekeepers, however, called out to Lammis and got her to stop moving before they bought anything.

  Lammis doesn’t seem like she’s focused on her work. She keeps glancing over here. I hope she doesn’t get hurt.

  I’m doing well for myself, though. The customers who have been waiting and watching until now are crowding in front of me. Great—now to make up for lost time.

  I sold more than I expected to during the day. As I sit in front of the Hunters Association at my regular spot and refill the products that sold well, I feel so pleased with myself that all my products could have gotten warm even if they were meant to be served cold.

  In the evenings, Lammis usually stays close by and eats something she purchased from me, but tonight, Hulemy had the good sense to bring her to the cafeteria that Munami and the mistress are running out of a temporary storefront.

  People usually stop coming around this time, so for once, I spend some time alone with my machine self. While I am, however, someone comes walking by, head hanging slightly.

  It’s the young mer
chant, one of the three regulars I get in the mornings. Normally, he has an excessively pleasant smile and a friendly attitude, which also leaves a good impression on the other two regulars, the old couple. But now, he looks so depressed I can almost see a dark aura surrounding him.

  He sighs. “It’s just not working,” he says to himself. “She seems busier lately than usual, and I don’t even have a chance to say hello… And tomorrow’s her birthday.”

  I put two and two together. He’s fallen for Munami, the inn’s poster girl, hasn’t he? He wants to pursue a relationship, but he’s worried because it’s not going well. I’d gladly take him up on a conversation about love troubles, but I’m stuck with simple yes/no responses.

  Another sigh. “I’m worried about Acowi. She’s been working too hard lately.”

  From the exact opposite direction as the young merchant comes the giant shadow of a goril— No, it’s Gocguy, assistant to the money changer. Despite how he looks, he’s a calm person, the sort who would see a child who tripped and was crying, wait for them to get up on their own, and then smile and tell them what a good job they did.

  “Oh, hello. Gocguy, the money changer.”

  “Well, this is a surprise. Thank you again for the other day.”

  They greet each other; they seem to be acquainted. I suppose it’s not strange a merchant and a money changer would know each other. They talk about the weather, business, inoffensive topics, and the latest gossip, but their hearts don’t seem into it. It’s like I’m watching a bad play.

  Sometimes, both of them will glance at me. They must both want to buy something. It doesn’t matter if someone else is here—they can buy whatever they like. Is something wrong?

  “Welcome.”

  “Oh,” says the merchant with a start. “Would you like something to drink? My treat.”

  “No, no, I have a debt to Mr. Boxxo, so allow me.”

  They begin going back and forth with their offers. In a normal conversation, this would be the perfect chance for one to agree and get out of paying for himself.

  “How about I pay this time, and when we meet again, you can treat me?” suggests the merchant.

  “That sounds good,” says Gocguy. “Thank you.”

  The young merchant drinks his usual milk tea, and Gocguy, a can of lemon tea. They both chose the warm version. It’s apparently the beginning of winter, which is the perfect season for some good, hot beverages. At this point, there’s no reason to question how there are seasons here even though we’re inside a dungeon.

  The merchant exhales. “This really calms me down.”

  “Mr. Boxxo has so many delicious things that it’s always hard to choose.”

  All they’re doing is having a hot drink together, but I feel like they’ve gotten a little closer. Their words seem more animated now.

  “By the way…,” begins Gocguy. “Pardon me for asking, but your face looked quite grave earlier.”

  “Oh, how embarrassing. I was, well, worrying over lady troubles.”

  “I see. Would you like to talk to me about it? Saying your worries aloud will help. Let’s see. I was worried about my boss, Miss Acowi, as well. I would be thankful if you would hear me out afterward.”

  By adding a condition that he’d reveal his own worries, Gocguy created a situation in which the merchant could speak more freely. Acowi seemed tightly strung, not the type that would be very skilled with negotiations. He must be supporting her in that respect.

  “Well, I have feelings for a certain someone, but they’re unrequited. I’ve received information that her birthday is soon, but I’m not sure what to do. I could give her a present, but I don’t know if she’d be happy to get something from one of her customers that she’s not very close to.”

  “I see— That is a worrisome problem. Gifts are not always better the more expensive they are. If you were close to her, you could go with a jewel or an ornament, but getting such a thing from a regular customer could pique her curiosity in the wrong way.”

  “I thought the same. Loathe though I am to admit it, I don’t have much experience in matters of the heart; it’s always business for me. I don’t know what would be best in this kind of situation.”

  He does seem like a very earnest, hardworking man. His lifestyle must not have involved anything in the way of love affairs.

  If she were the type of fickle woman you might have seen in a clichéd story or video game, you could give her something expensive, and she would initially refuse it but ultimately accept it, and then her affection levels would skyrocket. Munami seems used to such people, though. She would accept it right away and that would be it.

  “In this case, I believe it would be better to get her a more typical gift that any woman would be happy to receive.”

  “You think so, too? That was why I came here. Have you heard the rumor that Boxxo will listen to your wishes and stock new products based on that?”

  “Oh, yes, I have heard that. Apparently, he doesn’t only change his products but his entire shape… Between you and me, he provided the contraceptive-like items they use for Ms. Shirley’s night business as well.”

  Word of that has gotten around, huh? It could become an urban legend—or a settlement legend—soon. Of course, maybe I already am one, being a vending machine with a mind of its own.

  “We’ll never know unless we try,” says Gocguy. “Why not ask Mr. Boxxo? I’m interested in this as well.”

  “All right. We have nothing to lose. Boxxo, were you listening to all that?”

  “Welcome.”

  “That makes things quick. Do you have anything I could give to a woman on her birthday?”

  I’ve been mulling it over for the entire conversation, and I do have one idea.

  It’s good that the settlement is active, since they’re in the middle of rebuilding, but it kind of seems like they have no time for anything else. They don’t want for any necessary goods or materials, but sources of entertainment are sparse. I can’t help but feel they have their hands full simply living their day-to-day lives.

  This might be the ideal environment for hunters and merchants, but I can’t call the settlement a kind place for women, even as flattery. Which means the new product I will provide them is…

  “He lit up… What? He completely changed again. Are these flowers?”

  “Well, isn’t that an impressive array of flowers. There is a lot of wetland in this stratum. I’ve never seen flowers this beautiful before.”

  Yes—a flower vending machine. It changes most of me to a glass pane separated into parts, with flowers lined up inside. I can only stock things I have experience buying, so I have carnations and roses I bought for Mother’s Day, bouquets of flowers for grave visits, and lilies. My mother was initially going to buy them, but she ended up letting me pay. That certainly worked out in my favor.

  With the settlement in the midst of restoration, building materials and rubble are strewn all over town. I don’t have a single recollection of any flowers. In a place like this, most women would be happy to receive a colorful bouquet. At least, I think so.

  “I see—flowers. The prices are reasonable, too. This is good!”

  “If I recall correctly, Ms. Acowi likes white flowers. I’ll buy some as well.”

  The pair purchases the flowers that they each want. The merchant purchased an assortment of flowers that you would typically find at a Japanese graveside or a household altar. Gocguy purchased the white lilies.

  Mine can’t be the only heart warmed by seeing two men holding bouquets like this.

  They look at the flowers in their hands, faces softening as they blush a little, then say their good-byes and walk away. I hope things go well for them both. I’ll have to pay extra-close attention to any information that comes my way.

  “Boxxo, have you heard?”

  Several days passed after that. We’re apparently on the precipice of the real winter, and the residents are hurriedly making preparations to last through the c
old season. While I’m doing my expected business in my usual spot, Lammis suddenly comes at me with a question.

  There’s no way for me to know what she’s talking about, so I answer with a “Too bad.”

  “Well, you know how Munami and the mistress made a makeshift cafeteria in a tent? It’s really, really popular with girls right now. Why do you think that is?”

  I don’t know. I barely have any information, so how should I respond? Cafeterias normally profit from tasty food. But if it’s been popular with women, that gets me thinking. A pair of women are the ones managing it, and I’ve heard before that female hunters and residents find it easier to visit.

  Does that mean they arranged something that appealed to an even higher demand of women? I don’t know.

  “Too bad.”

  “I didn’t think you would. Actually! Munami started decorating the cafeteria with flowers. Really pretty ones, too. Just looking at them is soothing!”

  Oh! It looks like the young merchant’s frequent visits and purchases since then have paid off. Come to think of it, the money changer Acowi came the other day, and her face looked a little less stern. Looks like they got instant results.

  I wonder if Lammis likes flowers. I could see her eyes sparkling as she talked about them.

  Well then, there’s only one thing to do. Yep.

  “Whoa, wh-what’s wrong? You suddenly changed shape… Wait, Boxxo, you were the one selling those flowers?”

  After transforming into flower-vending mode, I drop a pink carnation into my compartment.

  “Huh? You’re giving me one, too?! Thanks, Boxxo. I’ll treasure it!”

  She hugs the flower and twirls around joyfully. It’s the kind of happy response that makes a gift worth giving.

  Did you know this, Lammis? In the language of flowers, pink carnations can mean gratitude.

  Hulemy’s Magic Tools

  “Well, have a seat… Wait, you can’t. Whoops, my bad.”

  I’ve returned to the settlement, the customers have started to calm down, and I’m back to my ordinary daily life. Or so I thought, right before Hulemy kidnapped me.