Accidentally in Love With a God (2012)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “Normally, my behavior is a result of my unbelievable arrogance or insensitivity towards others, but in your case it was all about strategy.”

  “A straight forward answer would be nice for once.”

  “If I’d filled your ears with sweet, kind words, you would have never toughened up. I knew that someday you might be the one to free me. In fact, I think I always knew it would be you since no one had come for me. I had to make myself so irritating that you’d do anything—risk anything—to extract me from your life. Like a painful splinter. Of course, I’d planned to wait until you were old enough to travel alone and strong enough to make the journey, but you sped things along with your little deviation.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? I might have believed you—helped you. And it wouldn’t have caused me so much pain.”

  He was about to comment, but stopped. Maybe being the God of War trained him to think in terms of dominating the opposition, not asking for help.

  “I could not risk it. You were my only ticket to freedom.”

  I was stunned by the bluntness and lack of sentiment in his words. Had I simply been the only tool in his chest? A means to an end? But then, why didn’t he change his behavior after I released him. He still acted like a jealous, possessive, controlling boyfriend.

  “What about Tommaso?” I asked. “Why did you attack him at the villa? You were already free.”

  There was a pregnant pause.

  “The bond. It makes me feel overly protective.”

  “Oh.” One by one, the tiny pieces slid into place. The way he'd deprived me of any male relationships and enticed me with his seductive voice. He’d been slowly manipulating me, working me into position where I’d risk everything to either see him or be free from him. And afterward, once he’d been released, his bouts of jealously were a result of the bond.

  “So the bond makes you feel territorial. Like I was just some stupid bone to fight over,” I said, feeling completely deflated.

  “Yes. I’m sorry if it caused you any pain.”

  “And what happened between us yesterday morning?”

  “Emma, I wanted to talk about this later—in person.”

  “No. Now! I want the truth.”

  “Truth?” he said. “It was simply years of pent up frustration. I’m sure you of all people can sympathize.”

  Of course. I’d been his first chance at sex since…ever. “But before you left, you said—”

  “I said we’d sort your situation out, and we will. But, that doesn’t mean we’re compatible. We’re not. I’m a god, you’re basically a human. Your purpose is to grow up, have children, grow old, and die. Mine is to herd the sheep. And right now, I’ve got wolves. Lots of fucking wolves who’ve been chowing down on my flock. I don’t have time to play house. Sorry, Emma.”

  His cold, hard words hit me like a two-ton block of ice. He never cared. He never cared. He never cared. Except when it impacted him. He was so cold. So callous.

  I hunched over the sink and grimaced, forcing myself to swallow the pain.

  “And since we’re on the subject, and you’re so eager for the truth, I have another confession. One you should know in case anything happens. The attraction you feel for me isn’t real either.”

  “Sorry?”

  “My kind can emit a potent pheromone that lulls humans into submission. In the opposite sex, one whiff creates a sexual desire so strong that I could get a girl to strip naked in a crowded restaurant, crawl to me on her hands and knees, then lick my boots. Ha.” He chuckled. “That one never gets old.”

  Wha-what? Pheromones? The man-crack thing was real? “I—I can’t. I don’t understand…”

  “There’s nothing to understand. Except that after this is over, you’ll be free to move on and live your life. Normal. Out of my hair. Just like you wanted.”

  “Oh,” I said again like a complete idiot while his words ripped through me, leaving nothing behind but my tattered heart and a gaping hole where my self-esteem once stood. Had I really allowed myself to believe our connection was more? Had I allowed myself to feel emotionally attached to this being whose sole purpose in life was to kill? He’d seemed so affectionate and caring at times, but it was always about getting what he wanted from me and nothing more. I had let myself get caught up in his selfish agendas. He was a heartless, selfish, prick, and I allowed myself to be blinded by his exterior. Really, what woman wouldn’t? He was a god. A larger than life specimen of male perfection. And a complete ass.

  But me? I was worse than an ass. I was a sucker of colossal proportions.

  “Em? Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah—tired is all. I’m going to try to catch a few hours.”

  “Good idea.”

  Chapter THIRTY-FOUR

  The bustling inside the plane jarred me from my daze. My mind reeled with betrayal and confusion for hours as I went over the discussion, my life with Guy, my future without him. Why was it so hard for me to accept? Did he really believe I was so small and insignificant? Really? It had always been all about his agenda and the bond?

  “Would ya like somethin’ tae eat, Emma? We’ve got less than an hour to go until the drop,” said Gabrán with an all too mischievous smirk.

  “Drop?” I questioned.

  “Yes, you’ll be flying with Brutus strapped to your back.” Gabrán pointed to brawny man number three-hundred and twenty-two I’d seen that week. Crew-cut Brutus nodded politely, not appearing at all pleased.

  “What do you mean by ‘flying?’” I asked, already fearing the worst.

  “Well, lass, you don’t expect us to be invisible if we chopper in. We’ll be parachuting our way down tonight.”

  Parachuting? They’d failed to share this tiny detail. Of course, I hadn’t asked. I figured we’d land at a nice airport, hop in some jeeps, drive to Bacalar, quietly find the cenotes, and do a little bobbing for jars. Then voila! Let there be gods.

  “And you’ll be needin’ tae change your clothes there. Pink is a lovely color, mind ya, but not so effective for cloaking yerself in the dark.”

  I looked down at my pink sweater and jeans as he shoved a pile of dark gray clothes at me, including a black ski mask.

  “Thanks.” I stood to head back to the bathroom.

  “Christ, woman! What the hell are you doing in here?”

  I heard grunting and screaming on Guy’s end. “Get the hell off me. Calm down.”

  I almost fell forward, but caught myself in between the seats. “What’s happening, Guy?”

  “It’s Cimil. She’s decided to drop by and pay me a little visit,” announced Guy.

  I looked at Gabrán, “It’s Cimil. She inside the cenote with him.” I hoped she’d poke out his eyes and rip his head off. She seemed like the sort of deity who did that kind of stuff just for kicks.

  The buzzing sound from the voices got louder. It was like a cat in a dryer.

  “What’s she saying? It sounds awful.” I clutched my ears.

  “Shush, Emma, let me listen to her.”

  “Guy, make her stop. She’s going to give me a seizure.”

  “Cimil, stop screaming. Yes. Yes. I know…but…” He paused. More screeching. “Sorry, Emma, she hysterical. Cimil, I can’t hear you because you’re making Emma squeal.” The screeching stopped. “Thank you.”

  “Oh, thank heavens.”

  I listened for what seemed like an eternity to one side of the conversation that consisted of an occasional, “Uh-huh” or “Hmmm. Interesting,” from Guy, following by a, “Buzzz. Buzz. Buuzzzz!”

  It was beyond annoying. When this was all over, I was sure I’d never want to see another deity or a bee for the rest of my life.

  “Anything?” asked Gabrán.

  “Guy? The chief wants to know if you have any new information. We’re almost there.”

  “Cimil says that she’s been chasing the Maaskab, collecting the jars, and trying to figure out which one of the gods was teaching them to use the jade.
”

  “Cimil’s innocent? Father Xavier will be relieved,” I commented. “So how’d she end up inside the cenote with you?”

  “She was chasing one of the priests through the jungle and thought she had him cornered. He was standing at the edge of the cenote and right as she was about to grab him, he disappeared. She fell in.”

  “Too bad she didn’t land on your head,” I mumbled.

  He sighed. “Emma, I’m—”

  “Shut it. I’m not interested,” I snapped then turned to Gabrán. “Let’s get this over with already. I’m ready to kick some ass.”

  “Oh!” Gabrán chuckled loudly and turned to his men who were gearing up. “Look at our mighty little demigoddess here, boys. Ready to go toe-to-toe with the witchdoctors.”

  The men laughed.

  Well, I meant “kick Guy’s ass,” but what the hey.

  “Not to worry, lass. Just a few minutes more. Get those vicious little hands of yours ready to go.”

  ***

  Okay. Parachuting on its own? Maybe not so terrifying. Parachuting into a Mexican jungle at night while strapped to an angry Uchben man named Brutus? An unimaginable nightmare that would haunt my every waking moment for the rest of my life.

  In midair, between Brutus’ menacing grunts of disapproval at my squealing, I found myself feeling relieved that my parents believed I was already dead because there was no possible way I was surviving this jump.

  The sky was overcast, without so much as a speckle of moonlight filtering through. I felt like I was falling down a deep, dark well as the air whistled past my ears and my brain kept telling me that any moment, my body would slam into the earth. So when we landed with a muted thump in a small clearing, it was Brutus’ lethal sounding, “Hush!” that kept me from doing a victory disco right then and there. He was also strapped to my back.

  “Not a sound,” he warned as he unhooked the harnesses and slipped back on his night-vision goggles.

  We silently wove our way through the trees, and I wondered how the hell we’d find the others. There were no radios, and Brutus didn’t make any covert bird squawks like I’d seen in those spy movies. Then I remembered how the men had loaded the plane before the flight. They could read each other’s minds. Of course. That’s why Guy would want Gabrán to help. Their communication method was difficult to infiltrate. These Uchben really were amazing.

  After thirty minutes of tiptoeing in the darkness over the leaf covered path, we’d found the other men and began walking in a quiet formation, me sandwiched somewhere in the middle of the Conan conga-line.

  I brushed my hand over the handgun holstered to my waist and clicked off the safety as Brutus’ “brother” had shown me. Then, I began focusing on the little fireball in the pit of my stomach, trying to pull it up, readying to draw from it.

  “Emma? Are you near? I hear something.”

  I didn’t know what to do. Gabrán had told me to be silent unless it was urgent, so not to give away our position.

  We suddenly stopped and the men began splintering off into various directions. Brutus gave me the signal to hold still—I couldn’t see anything so that meant he poked me in the back of the head.

  Then the buzzing sound began growing, I could barely think. Something was riling the other gods. In fact, the last time they’d been that loud was right before…“Maaskab—they're here!” I screamed and felt my body go flat under Brutus.

  “Stay!” Brutus commanded, then got up and ran off into the jungle. I rolled over and found myself lying—gulp—all alone? Holy Virgin of Guadalupe, kill me now. I gritted my teeth, reaching for the gun at my side. But what if I shot an Uchben? I put it back in its holster, realizing that something was tickling my neck. I leaped up gasping and swatting the fury creepy-crawly thing. My backside bumped into something hard, and I turned right into a tall dark shadow that smelled like rotting meat. “Scaaab!” I screamed.

  His eyes glowed with swirls of red as he glared down at me in the darkness. I think I startled him, too, because he froze for a fraction of a second, just long enough for me to reach out and touch his arm. A shockwave of energy surged though my hands and the Scab flew back.

  “Yes! Take that!”

  “What’s going on? Where the hell are you?” screamed Guy.

  “I just zapped a Scab with my hand.”

  “Is he dead?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t see anything, and I’m not about to go and check his pulse,” I said.

  “Emma, I can hear you outside. You’re close.”

  Suddenly, there was a small break in the clouds, allowing a sliver of moonlight to catch the surface of the water. I was only four feet away from the edge of a cenote. It was huge. Twice the size of the first cenote where I’d found Guy. “Guy, are you in there?” I whispered down at the water.

  “Yes, hurry up and let me out before the priest wakes or his friends show,” he commanded.

  “For my family, for my family, for my family, and for one last opportunity to kick Guy in his man-gear for being such a repugnant, coldhearted, a-hole,” I repeated aloud as I gathered the courage to jump.

  “I heard that!”

  “Emma?” I heard a voice call from the shadows of the tree line.

  “Who’s there?” said Guy.

  “Oh my gods, Tommaso? Is that you?” I moved away from the edge of the cenote, watching the outline of his familiar shape step from the shadows.

  “Yes.”

  I ran and threw my arms around him, never happier to see another soul in my entire life. “I thought you were dead,” I whispered.

  He held me tight for several moments. I could feel his breath on my neck, his heart was racing. He released me, and I could see the faint trace of his reassuring dimple-framed smile. “What are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

  “I was bored,” I said. “Decided to try this Uchben thing out for a fun.”

  “Still the funniest girl I know.”

  “Can’t help myself.” I shrugged. “It’s part of my charm. So are you here to get them out?”

  “Who?” he asked.

  “Guy and Cimil.” I pointed down to black hole.

  “Not exactly.”

  “Why not?” I asked.

  “Jump into the water. Do it now!”

  “Emma, there’s so much I need to tell you—so much you don’t know about those…demons.”

  I took a step back. “What’s going on, Tommaso?”

  “Guy’s talking to you right now. Isn’t he?” He stepped in and painfully gripped me by the shoulders.

  I nodded. Fear and confusion came crashing down while Guy continued bellowing in the background of my head, telling me to jump in the water and free him.

  “Don’t listen to him, Emma. He’s not what you think,” Tommaso commanded.

  “Tell me something I don’t already know,” I said.

  “He’s the enemy, Emma. The Uchben are the enemy. They’re killers.”

  This situation didn’t feel right. Not one little bit. “Tommaso, let me go!” I pushed away from him, placing my hands flat against his chest. I felt something odd, like cords stretched across his skin underneath his shirt. “Something’s wrong with you,” I said. “Did the Maaskab hurt you?”

  “No. They’ve set me free.” Tommaso tore open his shirt, forcing my hand to run down his chest. There were four raised scars running from side to side.

  “What are those? What did they do to you?” I pulled away and backed up to the edge of the pool, holding my hands out defensibly. If he rushed me, I’d be over the edge in half a heartbeat.

  “They showed me the truth, Emma. The Uchben and gods are pretending to protect the world. But it’s a hoax. The Uchben only care about keeping their power, their wealth. Guy only cares about controlling humans, manipulating them, and keeping them weak. He doesn’t care about any of us. He never has.”

  “Emma, he’s lying. He’s one of the traitors. Don’t listen!” Guy screamed.

  “You’ve lost i
t, Tommaso. I’ve seen the Maaskab and they’re monsters,” I said.

  “Yes. They are. But they’re loyal soldiers. Ruthless. And that’s how wars are won.”

  “Emma,” Guy’s voice plowed through the noise. “Do you remember when you asked me why I changed my name? It was because I wanted the one you gave me; you changed me.” His words were fast and desperate. “Or why I gave your grandmother my oath? I did it because I’d never seen a child with our blood. She was so beautiful, special. Just seeing Gabriela filled me with hope. To know that, perhaps, I might someday be able to create life instead of taking it.”

  “Oh. I get it. Now you want me to believe you have a heart, that you care about anyone other than your high and mighty self?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’m asking.”

  “On the way here, you said your purpose is herding the sheep—that you use your pheromones to do it! You used them on me! And don’t forget, you told me it was only the bond that made you protect me and feel jealous.” The tears began streaming down my face.

  “I felt jealous because there is nothing more important to me than you, and I didn’t want to share you. That’s why I tried to keep other men away. I wanted you for myself.”

  I wrapped my arms around my waist and squeezed back the angry tears. “More of your lies, Guy.”

  “I admit, I’ve lied to you. But that doesn’t mean I’m not saying the truth now. Please, believe what I’m saying, and if you can’t, at least believe that Tommaso is dangerous, and he’s going to kill you.”

  What was with this man? He’d just raked my heart over the coals, but now that he’d discovered his competition—Tommaso—wasn’t dead, I guessed the bond was kicking in again. Making him feel jealous. It wasn’t real. He’d told me so.

  I looked up at Tommaso who seemed to be patiently waiting for something. Perhaps for me to come to the same conclusion he already had? “Tommaso, if I leave with you now, what happens next?”

  “First, I’ll get you the hell away from here. It’s not safe. The Maaskab and the Uchben will fight. And when we win, you’ll be able to go home to your family.”