Passionate Kisses
Page 160
Avery stayed silent, letting the words sink in. He sounded sincere enough.
“Avery. Look at me for a minute,” Lucas pleaded.
She complied, staring up at his face. The emotion in his eyes made her heart beat faster.
“I can arrange for you to meet your biological mother.”
Avery gasped, pulling away from him. Her legs quaked. Was he serious, or pulling her leg just for another chance? From what Rodney said before, she didn’t want to meet Avery. And now, Lucas all of a sudden could make it happen?
“I guess she had a change of heart,” Lucas said. It’s like he read her mind, knew her questions.
“When?” Avery demanded.
“I don’t know when she did. I just found out tonight.”
“No, I mean when can this happen?”
“Hell, I could take you there tonight, but I have a feeling you’ll want to talk to your parents, the band, make arrangements.”
Avery nodded, trying to process this information. She could meet her mother. The woman that left her in the Stetson hat, right there on the stops of the inn that she now worked at. Avery had questions, she needed answers. This could be it. The closure she needed. To be able to meet her birth mother and father? This was too easy. So surreal.
“I’ll take you there. You just say the word.”
A trip with Lucas. To meet her birth mother. Wow!
Avery didn’t know what to say.
With Paula being here and having a jealous streak, spouting hurtful, hateful words, it would be nice to get out of Harmony’s Echo for awhile. The band didn’t have any huge shows coming up in the next couple of weeks. She’d miss practice, but no one would mind. Though Avery had protested, Mom and Dad gave her vacation time, though she’d never used it. It wouldn’t be so bad to take some of that time now.
She hated the idea of leaving Mom when she was so exhausted, but Avery would bet a week’s worth of dinner that Mom would be more than willing to give her that chance.
She had nothing holding her back except for herself.
She wouldn’t get this opportunity again. She had to take it. Get it over with. It couldn’t hurt.
Oh yes it could. She could be rejected. She could hear terrible things. She could-
“Avery. I see the smoke coming from your ears. What are you thinking?” Lucas’s deep voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
Avery snapped out of it. “Sorry. I’m just trying to sort this out in my head.”
“I know it’s a lot to take in. For the longest time, she didn’t want this. Now, for reasons unknown, your mother is ready to meet you. You don’t have to do it, but would you be able to ignore any questions you may have?”
How did he know her so well?
“Okay,” Avery said slowly. “Okay, Lucas. I’ll need some time to talk to Mom and Dad, Rodney, and make sure my shifts are covered at the inn. If you can make this happen, then yes, I want to meet my birth mother.”
Chapter Seventeen
Last night, had it been a dream?
Avery opened her eyes the next morning in a daze. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and noted the time. Seven am. The sound of rain runoff falling from the gutters indicated that the storm was long lasting. Good. She loved the rain.
Avery recalled last night’s events. What a night! For that matter, what a day. The conversation with Lucas last night was what stuck out in her mind the most. Now today, Avery needed to talk to her parents. Even though Mom and Dad were supportive of pretty much anything Avery wanted, she worried about how the conversation would go.
She needed this. To travel. Get out of Texas. She had to learn to stop fearing and making excuses. A lot of it had to do with not wanting to leave her parents. Avery was afraid. There. She’d said it. Abandonment is how her life began, and Avery certainly didn’t want to deal with that again.
It just took a long time to admit it. But now that she had, even to herself, it meant that she could get on with it now. With the love of Mom and Dad, Avery could do anything. Anything! So why did she hide behind her dreams? She knew what she wanted, but had always held back. It was a conversation Jameson had brought up to her once, but never again after the way she’d reacted.
He was right, though.
Avery couldn’t hide behind her fears anymore. Everyone wanted better for her.
So why not take it?
With a renewed sense of strength, Avery jumped out of bed, showered quickly, and dressed even faster. She had things to do today, including making sure that Lucas could still make these arrangements.
Avery went downstairs to the sounds of pots and pans banging in the kitchen. When she rounded the corner to the kitchen, she expected to see Mom, maybe even Dad. Instead, she came face to face with a weary looking Paula. Dark circles set under her eyes, Paula didn’t look well. Wearing a long flannel nightgown, she stormed around the kitchen. When she turned and caught side of Avery, a scowl spread across her face.
“Good morning,” Avery said tentatively, unsure of what would set Paula off. Just the sight of Avery seemed to do the trick.
Paula grumbled something. Avery had no idea what she said.
“Where’s Mom? She didn’t go to the inn already, did she?” Avery hated the fact that when she said ‘mom’ in front of Paula, the woman shot her daggers. She also hated that she felt uncomfortable calling her Mom when that’s what she’d done her entire life. Paula didn’t want to share her parents with Avery. She’d made that clear.
“Actually, she did. She wanted to get out a little bit and walk. She got tired of being cooped up,” Paula said, with no emotion in her voice. She turned away, going back to her cooking.
“Okay. Thanks.” Avery was starving, but this morning she’d skip out on eating. Not here, anyway. She could just run back upstairs, grab her purse, and head for the inn.
“And that’s where you’re running to, I bet. Why don’t you get a real job? Come one, you’re how old, and still living here? Haven’t you been taken care of long enough? What’s holding you here?” Paula whirled around, spatula in hand, fire burning in her hazel eyes.
Avery stopped in her tracks, as she was just about to take the first step up. Balling her fists, she stomped back to the kitchen and leaned against the door jamb, matching Paula’s evil glare. “What is your problem with me, Paula? You’ve been spouting shit about me ever since you arrived. I haven’t done a thing to you, and you’re as nasty as can be.”
Paula snorted. “Oh please. You’re the little innocent good girl, living here, working at the inn, making Mom and Dad happy. It’s sick. You’re like a leech. Get on with your life, Avery. Move on. Let them be.” Paula shook the spatula, getting the egg that stuck to it all over the floor and even a little flew at Avery, landing on her shirt.
Avery fumed. Her entire body quaked to the point her muscles spasmed. “You’re immature, rude, and nasty. It’s not even necessary. You are full of venom and you let out your own frustrations on every one else. Take a look in the mirror, Paula. You’re what’s wrong, not me, not anyone else. Don’t spew your anger all over me, okay?” Five minutes later, Avery hauled herself out the door. If she spent another minute around Paula, Avery wouldn’t know what to do with herself!
As great as her childhood had been, Avery would have loved to have a sister or brother her age. She often spent many summers with Jameson and his sister. Avery had been closer to Jameson, but she still got along with Blaine. Avery never admitted it, but she felt a little bit of jealousy that they had each other like that.
While Avery knew there had been problems with Paula, she never knew the extent of them. While growing up, she hoped Paula would come back and that even though she was much older, Paula would take Avery under wing and be a great big sister.
So much for dreams. Paula hated her. Couldn’t even stand the sight or thought of Avery being part of the Callimer family. A tear slid down her cheek as she walked briskly down the path that led from the house to the inn.
“Ave
ry? Honey, why do you look so upset?”
Mom walked toward her. Avery hurried to meet up with her. “Mom!” She hugged her. “What are you doing out here?”
Her mother laughed. “Avery, I’m tired, I may even be old, but honey, I’m not dead yet. I needed a walk. I needed to get out a little bit. Will you stop worrying so much?”
Avery sighed. “I can’t help it.” She looked into her mom’s eyes and gave her a little smile.
“I ain’t an old biddy, so don’t go thinking y’all can keep me resting. I don’t care what any doctor says.” Mom shook a finger. “Besides, I couldn’t take that tension in the house. I always wondered when Paula would come home, and I’d hoped she wasn’t as bad off as she always sounded on the phone.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”
“Well,” Avery hesitated. “Part of it is, she hates me.”
“Avery. No she doesn’t!”
Avery nodded. “You don’t hear the stuff she says about me. When I refer to you as Mom, and Dad as Dad ... this morning, she asked me why I’m still around, living at home, working at the inn. Have I been a burden? Should I have moved on?” All of a sudden, doubt crowded Avery’s feelings.
Mom’s face crumpled. “I hate that you think that.” Her voice hushed. “While I love having you here with us, I do hope that you find your own way, but it’s not anything that bothers us. You’ve made your own money since sixteen. You help us out. It’s not like we’re forcing you to stay. Paula had no right to say what she did, and that angers me. But Avery, I do often wonder why you haven’t pursued your own dreams. I figured as long as you were happy, then that was good enough for your father and I.”
“Do you want to go with me to get something to eat? I really want to sit and talk,” Avery said. Maybe it was time to open up about her feelings, since she could finally admit them to herself, and then also tell Mom about what Lucas offered.
“That sounds lovely. Dad wants me to go home and rest, but I’d love to go spend some time with you.” Mom linked her arm through Avery’s and smiled.
Avery treated her mom to breakfast at J’s Diner, a place they used to go to before life got too busy. Once they were seated at a booth, the two started talking about everything and anything.
“I’m so glad we got to do this today, Avery. I’ve missed it.” Mom smiled. It was the happiest she looked in ages.
“Me too. I feel guilty when life pulls us in various directions. I know that even though I’m older, I love having this bonding time.” Avery put the menu down and folded her hands over it. “There’s so much going on, I feel like I don’t know what’s real anymore.”
“What do you mean, honey? With Paula and your possible birth father?”
Avery nodded. “And Lucas. I’m drawn to him, Mama, and I can’t explain why. He’s a man of secrets, and one I just found out recently has thrown me for a loop.” She took a sip of her orange juice.
Mom frowned. “What do you mean?” Her tone filled with worry and she leaned forward, anticipating Avery’s answer.
“Apparently, Lucas is linked to my birth mother.”
Silence.
Her mother’s eyes widened.
“Yeah. I know. He’s here to ... well, I don’t even know. He says to keep an eye on things with me, and that sounds really weird, but I don’t think he’s telling me the whole story. Last night, I sat out on the porch with him and he apologized for not telling me right away, and says that now she has had a change of heart and is willing to meet with me, but I have to go to her. I’m torn,” Avery admitted.
Avery’s mother simply nodded. “You should do it, Avery. She holds a piece of your past that you’ll always wonder about.”
“I know. But I’m afraid. She rejected me once. I don’t know if I can take it again.”
“Oh Avery. I’m so sorry. That was her loss, our gain. Even though it hurts you, your birth mother missed out on raising a beautiful baby who grew up into a magnificent young woman. Now, if only you would drop your fears and doubts, and live your life the way you should.”
“What do you mean?” Avery asked.
“You have the opportunity to follow your dreams, and you’re still here. Is Harmony’s Echo and the inn what you want as a future? Because if you can honestly tell me you want the inn, we’ll make arrangements for you to run it. And be absolutely honest with me.”
No. Avery didn’t want the inn. As much as it was an important part of her childhood, it wasn’t her future.
“You don’t have to pretend for us, either, Avery. You have so much life to live. All we want is for you to to do it to the fullest. I don’t think hiding here is it.”
“But I’m not hiding. I love being here!” Avery protested. For the most part, that was true.
“Avery. You can’t hide your feelings from me. I’m the woman that raised you. You live and breathe music. You always have. I know you love the band and playing at night, but it’s more than that for you.”
“Music is in my soul,” Avery admitted.
“Do you want a career out of it? It’s hard, scary and definitely unpredictable.”
Avery nodded. “But isn’t everything?”
“Absolutely. This is why I’m trying to tell you it’s okay to go spread your wings. Don’t hold yourself back. Start with taking this trip. That gives us some time to try and get through to Paula. Maybe you and Lucas can figure out where you stand. I’ve seen the looks you two share. There’s definitely something there.” Mom smiled knowingly.
“How do you do that?” Avery stared at her in awe.
Mom’s shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Honey, you don’t get to be my age without lots of watching things around you.”
“Have I told you lately how much I love and appreciate you?” Avery asked.
“Absolutely. And I know it. So, what are you going to do?”
“I guess I’ll be asking my boss for time off, and talking to Lucas about taking a trip,” Avery said with a smile.
******
The first person Avery told was Laura.
“Damn, Avery. That’s good news! What a crazy few days you’ve had. I can’t believe that you and Lucas did the horizontal tango. You go girl!”
Avery laughed. “Hold on! I tell you that I’m going to meet my biological mother, my sister comes into town, accosts my possible birth father, throws nasty accusations my way, and yet you focus on sex with Lucas?”
“Uh, yeah! Okay, fine, let me respond to each in order. I hope you get the answers you need, what a bitch, and how was that sex, by the way?”
“Laura!” Avery exclaimed, giggling.
“You owe me a lunch date soon or something because you will spill those deets. That man is cute as can be and I want to know!”
“You’re engaged to be married!”
“I still have eyes, Avery. And that man is definitely a looker.”
Yeah, he sure is. That dark brown hair, those hazel eyes, the intense way he looked at her...
Stop thinking about Lucas like that. After this trip, I doubt you’ll see him again.
Why did that suddenly make her so sad? She hardly knew the man. The last few days proved that. But despite her best attempts not to, Avery looked forward to running into Lucas when she was at the inn. The way he smiled at her. She knew Lucas didn’t smile that often. Avery wanted to uncover all of his secrets and learn more about him. Would he think about her? Miss her?
“Avery. You got quiet.”
“Huh? Oh, right.” Oops. And there went her mind again. Straight to Lucas.
“You like him, don’t you?”
Avery sighed. “Yes, but how can I let myself fall for a guy that’s only passing by? What have I gone and done? And someone that I know is keeping secrets?”
“You can’t help who you have feelings for, or who you don’t,” Laura said gently.
Wasn’t that the truth? Avery knew exactly whom Laura referred to on both aspects.
Thank God for best friends. Laura
was her voice of reasoning most of the time, especially lately.
“I should go talk to Rodney. We’re supposed to get results today, as he mentioned last night, and then I need to tell him I’m going out of town for awhile.”
“Okay, well you’d better give me more details before you leave. When will that be, anyway?”
“I’m not sure. I need to find all that out from Lucas.”
“Wow. You get to leave Texas for awhile, visit a new place, and spend time alone with a man who riles you up. Hmm. Chance of a lifetime, if you ask me.” Laura giggled.
Avery laughed with her. “You, my friend, are impossible.”
The trip made Avery nervous, for more than just the reason of meeting her birth mother. She would be sticking to Lucas for more than just a few hours at a time. Maybe she could find a way to get him to talk. And she had to make sure that they kept their hands off each other. How could she cave in to him last night? Just resting in his arms, Avery forgot about all the frustrations she had with him. He had that much of an impact. But this man came with complications, secrets, and Avery would do right to keep that in mind. She didn’t want to be hurt.
It might be a little too late for that. Lucas was never far from her thoughts.
“All right, well go do what you need to do. I’m going to find me something to eat and then I’ve got a few wedding preparations to do with my mom and sister. Have fun!” Laura said more than happily, as she disconnected the call.
Time to go talk to Rodney. If only Avery could figure out why that made her so nervous. Wouldn’t he want her to know her history? He did come here to meet her, but there wasn’t a lot of time that he spent around her. Avery couldn’t place it, but as excited as she had been about him being here, as time went on, she couldn’t figure out his motives. He was a nice man and all, but he was very reserved. Like Lucas.
Avery shrugged it off. Right now, she was in no position to try and figure anyone out. Avery needed to figure herself out first.
Now or never. Avery made the call to Rodney’s room. As the phone rang, she wondered where he could be. Finally, after half a dozen rings, he answered. “Hello?”