Again

by Brandy Jeffus

  "I've emailed Mick's assistant to pack all my belongings and mail them to me. Mick might be a lot of things, but he's decent enough to give me that right. I'm not worried 'bout most of it though. I just want my paintings mainly," I say.

  Right before the wreck, I had been in talks with a major museum about having my paintings displayed. I had finally gotten the courage to dive into that realm of the business.

  "And yes, I'm going to move back, until Mama says she's okay to live by herself." Tatum nods in agreement. She is in the Army, stationed 100 miles away. She had gotten approved leave to come when the accident happened, but it was going to end quickly.

  "That's good. I won't worry as much then," she smiles at me and turns into the room. I walk right into her because she has stopped.

  "Hey girl, watch where you're…" I trail off spotting the reason why she’s still.

  A police officer is seated beside my mom's bed. Mama is sitting up and smiling. They both stop their conversation and look our way.

  "Holy shit on a shingle." I whisper. My heart flip-flops around and I feel my breath hitch in my lungs.

  "Hey, Bonnie," Eli says with an easy smile.

  ***

  The sun was shining and there was a light breeze. Bonnie shut her eyes and took a deep breath. It almost felt weird having things feel so perfect. She stretched her arms up high and Eli startled her by grabbing one of her hands.

  "Hey you, you swam out there pretty far!" Bonnie exclaimed, and stretched up to meet Eli’s face giving him a kiss.

  He smelled like lake water but he looked amazing. He sat down beside her chair, on the ground. Bonnie admired his strong torso and his handsome face. His tan skin was a stark contrast to her pale complexion and she loved it. He could have just stepped off the pages of a magazine in Bonnie's opinion. He was so good looking.

  "Yea, it was really cool. Eddie took me out to this buoy that isn’t used anymore. The water is so clear today. We were thinking about renting a jet ski for the rest of the afternoon, would you like that?"

  Bonnie smiled and nodded. Eli smiled big and jumped up, "Awesome! I’ll go tell him. Hey, is that a new drawing?"

  Bonnie was guarded with her drawings. If anyone else had asked, she would have covered it and made excuses. With Eli, she was never ashamed of her work or shy. She offered the sketch pad up to him. She studied his face while he viewed her drawing. She had drawn a portrait of Eli in the middle of the lake. It was a close up of his face and she had captured his off kilter smile perfectly this time.

  "Damn, I look good!" Eli joked as he gave the book back to Bonnie. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I love being your muse." Then he kissed her bottom lip and ran off. She stared at him running toward Eddie.

  That night, Bonnie was half lying on Eli in the chaise lounge chair in front of the bonfire. Eddie and his girlfriend Molly were making out in front of them, but Bonnie hardly noticed them. The lake looked so pretty in the moonlight, and Bonnie wished she had her sketchbook to try and capture it. She and Eli had a light blanket pulled over them and Bonnie was absent mildly rubbing Eli’s bare stomach. His abs were so cut and defined, she couldn’t help but trace over the lines and muscles.

  "You’re going to have to stop that soon or else," Eli whispered his voice gravely and sexy sounding.

  Bonnie paused and whispered back, "Why?"

  "You’re turning me on, that’s why. And we’re not exactly in the privacy of one of our rooms out here."

  Bonnie snickered, "You chicken. You don’t want to do it on the ground? You afraid of a little dirt?"

  "Nope, I don’t actually. You deserve the best experience every time," Eli's voice was low and sincere.

  Things were silent for a minute and Bonnie struggled to find her words. Sometimes Eli’s simplest statements were the ones that blew her away.

  "You mean that?" she whispered. She wrapped her arm around his neck.

  "Of course I do. Don’t get me wrong, it’d probably be fun to do it like that, but I just wouldn’t feel right treating it like some animalistic act or something. You know you deserve all the romance, rose petals, lit candles et cetera, et cetera. I know I don’t do that all the time, but I do try to make every time a little special," Eli was so nonchalant with his confession, but Bonnie felt the meaning behind the words.

  He was right, he did try to make each time special. It was a big deal to him, just like it was to her. He was never like other guys, not like her friends boyfriends, who always wanted it no matter where and no matter how uncomfortable. He cared about her and everything that he did to her was magic, sweet and gentle. He was like a guy from a different century.

  “You amaze me, boy.”

  Eli grinned and whispered back, “And you amaze me, girl.”

  They kissed and Eli stopped the kiss short when a new song started on the radio. It was The Cowboy in Me by Tim McGraw.

  “Come on, let's dance.”

  “Okay,” she said without hesitation. They danced barefoot on the sand in front of the fire. Eli’s face looked rugged in a handsome way with the firelight dancing over it. His chest was smooth as Bonnie laid her head near his heart.

  "This is a good song,” Bonnie whispered

  "I know this is a good one.”

  "Today was a perfect day.”

  "I agree. It scares me that it was so perfect you know."

  Bonnie looked into Eli’s beautiful green eyes and they reflected a mixture of fear and happiness. His confession surprised her.

  “I thought that too, earlier. But I think it's okay to have a perfect day every once in a while. I think that’s in God's plan to have us happy most days. I rather spend the day being happy then waste time fighting or being mad.”

  Eli nodded, “I think so, too, baby,” he kissed her softly, and then sighed. The song finished but they continued to dance. They shuffled slowly in a wide circle. Finally, Bonnie stopped and reached for Eli's hand, "Let's go to sleep."

  Eli followed behind her as she walked to the tent a few yards away. They both called goodnight to Eddie and Molly.

  Inside the tent they cuddled next to each other. Eli’s strong arm went around Bonnie instinctively and he rested his chin on top of her head.

  "I love you, Eli."

  "Love you too, Bon."

  Chapter Two

  Eli looks nervous as he rakes his fingers through his light brown curls. He appears exactly the same, as if he hasn’t aged a bit in the last six years.

  "I better go. It was nice seeing you Ms. Cindy," he says, avoiding mine and Tatum's glances like the plague. He smiles at our mom and grasps her hand.

  "Now, now you don't have to leave just because of them two! Girls come over here. Bonnie, say hi," orders Mama.

  I mumble a barely audible greeting while staring at the floor. My heart is still doing major tumbles and I can’t breathe right.

  "Did I tell you girls that Eli was the first responder at the accident?" Mama asks. I look up in surprise. I glance at Eli and he smiles sheepishly. Those dimples of his pop out like they always used to.

  "Were you really?" I ask, surprising myself.

  Eli looks just as surprise as I feel and hesitates before answering, "Yes I was. I saw the accident myself while I was making a routine traffic stop. I was the FR and stayed with Ms. Cindy through the whole thing."

  "He held my hand while they used the Jaws of Life on the Honda, and then he rode in the ambulance with me," Mama says, and I wonder why she never said anything before. A surge of anger flares up, for an instant, when I think about her keeping that from me.

  "Well thank you for that. That was very nice of you," Tatum says. Always the polite one, I can tell Tatum is touched by the story.

  "Least I could do. But I best be getting on. I'll see you again soon, Ms. Cindy," Eli says leaning down to kiss Mama’s forehead. She has the biggest smile on her face; I can tell seeing Eli has made her happy. It sends a sharp pain down my chest to my stomach. Sweat breaks out above my brow suddenly.
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  "Nice seeing you girls again. Y'all call me if you need anything," Eli says as he walks past Tatum and then me. His sea green eyes locks with mine and I feel my stomach heave. I turn sharply and flee to the adjoining bathroom. I barely make it to the toilet before I get sick. My eyes automatically start watering and I hear Mama gasp.

  "Check on her. See if she's okay," Mama commands. I feel a strong hand on my shoulder, and my hair is scooped up out of my face.

  "There, there. You're okay. It's alright," Eli's voice is low and smooth as silk. "I didn't know I was going to evoke that kind of response. I'm kind of hurt." I hear him chuckle.

  I groan at his joke and grab some toilet paper to wipe my face. "I'm so sorry," I moan.

  Tatum appears beside me and holds out a glass of water. I sip it slowly, while Eli flushes the toilet.

  "How about you girls go home and get some real rest? I'm off tomorrow and can stay overnight with Ms. Cindy," Eli suggests. His brows are furrowed, concern etch on his face. He is still handsome, his features more defined and more mature.

  The offer is appealing. I had been sleeping on the fold out cot and eating too much hospital food. I was averaging a shower every two days and my body is just plain tired.

  "You don't mind Eli?" Tatum asks.

  "No, not at all. Let me run home to change. Is that fine, Ms. Cindy?" Eli is at the doorway of the bathroom looking at Mama.

  "Yes, honey, that's a great idea. Thank you," she answers. I rise and walk to the sink. I splash my face with cold water.

  Eli stands beside me. He places his hand lightly on my shoulder. "You okay now B? I could bring you some medicine from my house," he says quietly. Hearing him use my old nickname calms my nerves. My own body is betraying me. I look away from the mirror and into those beautiful familiar eyes.

  "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's been a long week. My body's just worn down," I reply. I can smell a new car smell on him, mix in with a clean linen scent.

  "You still look good girl," Eli winks and pats my back while my heart quickens. "I'll be back ladies."

  After he leaves I sit beside Mama. With the idea of real sleep on my mind, my eyelids are growing heavy. Embarrassment sweeps over me like a wave. Everything is so odd; Eli here in the room, being the one who rescued Mama, me getting sick with him so close. Way to be cool Jinks.

  "Are you okay, Bonnie?" Mama asks. She reaches for my hand, "It's been a long time since you’ve seen each other, I know. He's grown into a fine fellow though and I really do owe him so much gratitude for staying with me all those hours that night."

  "Oh Mama, I don't doubt he's a good man. It just shocked the hell out of me seeing him after all this time. I'm fine. I'm just worn out. You don't worry about me, okay?"

  Mama smiles and squeezes my hand. When Eli broke up with me, Mama never spoke one negative word against him. This both irritated the hell out of me and comforted me as well. She was Eli’s babysitter when we were in elementary school and that was the real reason we became friends. She loved Eli like a son, and always had. And now I knew she still thought of him in the same way. It’s obvious it means a great deal for him to be the hero in her accident.

  Tatum sits quietly on the windowsill. She looks out the window down into the parking lot and street below, "Well, everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe you and Eli are supposed to make amends.”

  Tatum has always been mad at me for leaving home so abruptly. She partially blamed Eli, but held me mostly accountable.

  I was depressed, lonely and just wanting something different. When I met Mick, I knew he was what I needed. He was the exact opposite of Eli. He was controlling, but in a chivalrous kind of way. He was reckless and wild. And he put himself first and foremost. But he still found something attractive in my forlorn personality and adopted me as his newest girlfriend.

  When he asked me to go on the road with him, I agreed without much hesitation. Tatum was furious. She was a high school junior at that point, and still believed in fairy tales and true love. Eli was still like her brother in her eyes, and I was doing him unjust. Tatum believed Eli’s letter that we would end up together again.

  "That may very well be true, but for now I'd like to stop talking about Elijah Stone. If I'm supposed to make amends, it'll happen on its own time." I rebuke.

  I immediately feel bad for my tone and try to change the subject by asking, "Tatum, when does your leave end?"

  "It ends the week after next. I was granted two weeks," her words are clipped and the awkward tension returns.

  I must have dozed off because all of a sudden Eli is nudging my shoulder. I look up and see that he’s dressed in a concert shirt and jeans. I yawn and stand up. He’s so close to me, it feels foreign and oddly soothing at the same time.

  "Let me call a taxi," Tatum says.

  "Wait, why? Y'all don't have a car here?" Eli asks. Tatum and I shake our heads simultaneously.

  "Ms. Cindy, I'm going to take the girls to the house then I'll be right back okay?" he asks.

  I look at Tatum, but she only shrugs. I know she is exhausted so I decide not to put up a fight this time. Mama agrees and gives both of us girls a kiss.

  This was the first night we are spending away from her since we both arrived. I’ve been constantly worrying about her even though the doctors declared her out of the woods and making progress. For some reason, in the corner of my mind, the thought that nothing bad could happen if I had been there, was present. I feel so apprehensive about leaving her, even though her face is calm and her gray eyes, identical to mine, are warm and relaxed. Plus, I knew Eli was coming back so she really won’t be alone more than half an hour.

  I heave a sigh and follow Tatum behind Eli to the elevators.

  "Thank you Eli," Tatum whispers. We step into the elevator and Eli stands in the middle of us. Tatum leans her head against his shoulder and I see red. Why is she being a traitor?

  Eli smiles, reaches up and pats her head softly. A burn starts in my throat and even though Eli is here helping us and has pretty much saved my mother's life, I feel the overwhelming urge to punch him. I hate him right now for being so damn comfortable around my baby sister and essentially still comfortable around me.

  I take a deep breath and try to calm my racing thoughts. I'm sure it’s lack of sleep and lack of nutritional food that has made me go slightly insane. My mom almost died; I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. We had dated the same amount of time I dated Eli. But for some reason this break up felt freeing, not suffocating like mine and Eli's had felt.

  No, no don't go there, Bonnie. Keep those damn memories to yourself. Keep them locked up where they belong.

  I can’t afford to think back to that time. Not right now. I’m not ready.

  "You cut your hair, it's so short," Eli whispers, interrupting my inner pep talk. I look up at him and he grins at me.

  "It used to be a lot shorter," I answer. I reach up and grab a strand. It is past my shoulders and has grown out considerably from when I chopped it off to chin length. It feels greasy and stringy and all of a sudden embarrassment flares up inside.

  "I think it's very pretty," Eli whispers. I feel my cheeks redden and I quickly drop my hand. The elevator pings, signally we’re at the bottom floor and I quickly step off when the doors open. Eli leads us out the hospital doors into the parking lot. He walks to a silver SUV and opens the front and back passenger door for us. I climb in the back, while Tatum crawls into the front seat.

  Tatum, in her usual fashion, is very inquisitive, “So Eli, when did you become a cop?"

  "Almost two years ago. Right after I got out of the Marines."

  "Yeah, whenever I'm done with the Army, I might go into the academy. Not sure yet. I still have a little less than two years."

  "I enjoyed the Marines, but I was happy to get out. I knew from the first year I'd never be able to make a career out of it. My ultimate goal is to make detective on squad," says Eli.

  "How are your parents?" I ask from the backseat. The qu
estion is out before I can even think. What is wrong with you? You’re going to play 20 questions with him now?

  Eli glances back at me and smiles. His constant smiling is seriously getting on my nerves. It reminds me of the past, how he always had a grin plastered on his face. If he wasn't smiling then you knew something was really wrong. That slightly crooked smile was one of the constants in high school. I could always rely on it.

  "They’re well. My mom is about to retire from the school and dad has been really into fishing here lately,” he faces the front and adds quietly, “They always ask about you."

  I nod. I adored Eli's parents when we were together. They were the most perfect pair, so sweet and loving to each other. They gave me unwavering support when my parents split up and Mrs. Stone would take Tatum and I out on 'girl dates' to help my mom out.

  I smile thinking of them. The Stones are great people, two of the most influential people I had in my life growing up. Mrs. Stone only had Eli, and told me often I was the daughter she never had.

  Eli parks in front of Mama's house and gets out opening our doors.

  "I'll walk you ladies up if it's alright," Eli states as he walks beside us. Tatum fumbles through her purse to find the house keys and I peek at Eli, who is in turn looking straight at me. He smiles when we make eye contact. My heart skips a beat.

  "It's really nice to have you back, Bonnie," He gives me a quick hug, "Sweet dreams." He releases me, his smile still plastered on his face. He hugs Tatum next and she gives him a kiss on his cheek.

  "Good night Eli. See you tomorrow," she calls out. He turns around and starts to walk toward his car. I immediately go inside the house and peek out the front window. Tatum stands next to me.

  "He's still handsome," Tatum breathes.

  "I know," I agree quietly.

  "He likes you."

  I can sense her looking at me, but I stare straight ahead. Eli's car heads down the street, his brake lights bright in the dark.

  "No he doesn't, he's being friendly. Eli's always been a friendly flirt."

  "You're so dense. He's always been in love with you. He never quit, even after you left." I glance at her sideways and she rolls her eyes and heads toward her old room, carrying her bags.