Again

by Brandy Jeffus

  She turned the corner and time froze. Everyone else disappeared and it was just the two of them in the room. Her dress was the most amazing blue in the world. Like the oceans in some far away paradise. It was spaghetti strapped and although it wasn’t bejeweled in any way, but it still looked like the most exotic thing Eli had ever seen on Bonnie. Her beautiful blond hair was curled and had a silver dolphin barrette in it.

  Eli finally heard the noises in the room, his mom and Bonnie's mom oohing and aahing. He saw his mom dab her eyes with a tissue.

  "So beautiful!" Ms. Cindy said.

  "Gorgeous!" his own mother chimed in.

  Bonnie blushed and walked over to Eli. She shrugged as if saying, well….

  "You're Heaven," Eli whispered and felt his throat close up. He lightly kissed her cheek then offered her the corsage he was holding. It was a white lilac with an assortment of blue flowers. His mom had helped him pick it out.

  Bonnie's smile was so big and bright as she took the corsage and slid on her wrist. Being so close, Eli could see the glitter on her eyelids and on her shoulders. His chest tightened as he caught the smell of his favorite perfume of hers. They hurried and took the obligatory pictures, posing a dozen different ways for all the parents. Eli could tell Bonnie was having fun. She had always been the type who was most comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt, but she did occasionally like to dress up.

  They were in the limo before too long and stopped at Bonnie's Dad's house. Things were still tense between Bonnie's parents and it would be too uncomfortable for them to be in the same house, so Bonnie had asked to make a special detour. Eli, of course, obliged. If she had asked for the moon he would gladly do it.

  On the way to Prom, Eli's head was a fuzzy mess. Every time he looked at Bonnie it felt like he was watching a movie. It didn't feel real, this night, this limo ride with her.

  I am the luckiest guy on earth, he thought.

  Bonnie looked at him and smiled, "This is already the best night ever, Eli. Thank you. I love you so much." They kissed slow and sweet. Everything was perfect. Tonight would be perfect no matter what.

  Prom turned out to be a flurry of strobe lights, lots of love songs and pure happiness all around. Bonnie and Eli danced most the time, but also hung out with their mutual friends. Bonnie was so relaxed and carefree, Eli's worry about her having a good time melted away. They took pictures and greeted the teacher chaperones. The night was fun; pure, unadulterated and easy fun.

  Their last dance was to "Yellow" by Coldplay, a song that Eli loved. Bonnie's curls had turned straight and her glitter had worn off, but she still looked gorgeous.

  "Happiness suits you, Miss Jinks," Eli whispered.

  "As it does you Mister Stone," she smiled and rested her head on his chest. "Tonight's been perfect. Even this song, it's perfect for us."

  "I came along. I wrote a song for you." Eli sang quietly, leaning into Bonnie's ear. "And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

  "Do you still want to marry me? I mean truly think that we could get married and have kids?" Bonnie whispered out of the blue.

  "Of course I do. I've never wanted anything more than that. Nothing else matters to me." Eli answered quickly, never hesitating. He suddenly felt like he had been hit in the gut. "I mean, you want that too, right? It doesn't have to happen right away or anything…” Eli stammered.

  "Eli, of course I want to marry you. I would like to do it sooner than later. I just want to make sure you want to, even after school fades away. Even when our circumstances change," Bonnie answered.

  They continued to dance. Eli was focused on how it would be when they did get married; He would wake up next to this girl every single day. Share a house together. Share nights, afternoons and mornings. They would finally be able to share everything. The thought made him ridiculously happy and he kissed the top of her hair when the song ended.

  "Let's blow this popsicle stand shall we?" Eli asked putting his arm around Bonnie's shoulders. They said their goodbyes to all their close friends and left the auditorium.

  "What do you want to do now?" Bonnie asked in the limo, taking off her heels.

  "I was going to see if you wanted to go to the lake house. Spend the night with me. I've already asked your mom and got the okay," he smiled sheepishly, "Hope that was fine?"

  Bonnie smiled. Since their anniversary date at the lake house, they had been back a few times to hang out, swim, fish and spend the night together. It was a magical place and it felt like home.

  That night they skinny dipped in the lake around 2 am. They watched a cheesy scary movie afterwards, all wrapped up in each other's arms on the couch. Around dawn they decided to fall asleep.

  Right before they did he whispered, "I wish every night was like this." He pulled Bonnie close and sighed.

  "It will be babe. Until we're old and gray," Bonnie answered dreamily. They both slipped away, lost in their dreams.

  Chapter Four

  I woke up chilled to the bone. My throat felt on fire and I can’t breathe. Oh dear God, I’m sick.

  Why is this happening to me? I have to take care of Mama all by myself. Now I have to figure out a way to do that and keep my germs away at the same time. Just perfect.

  I drag myself out of the bed, wrap a blanket around me and walk into the kitchen. My eyeballs feel like they’re about to pop out of my head, there’s so much sinus pressure.

  "Ugh,” I groan loudly searching the cabinet and finding nothing but Pepto and Ibuprofen. I check on Mama, who is sleeping soundly.

  Remember just call if you need anything, Eli's voice pops in my head. I roll my eyes and pick up mom's phone and text Eli.

  Hey, can you call me please? It’s B.

  I shiver and head back to my bedroom. I haven’t even pulled my covers over me, when the phone rings.

  "Hey," I answer, sounding horrible and pathetic.

  "Bonnie? What's wrong? You sound horrible."

  "Thanks," I chuckle, but that hurts my throat so I end up having a coughing spell, “Eli, I'm sick. I woke up feeling like death warmed over. Do you think you can come help me with Mama whenever you're off work? I wouldn't ask unless I had to, I'm sorry.”

  A long pause follows and I look at the screen to make sure we’re still connected.

  "I'll take the day off. Do you have meds? Is it the flu or a stomach virus?”

  "No, Mama doesn't have anything, but that's okay. It's just a head cold or something. I'll be fine. I just need help with Mama. I can't get her sick when she just got out of the hospital.”

  "No, no I understand. I'll be there soon. Is the key still under the broken brick?”

  I smile at his familiarity. It’s nice in a way. "Yes it is. I'll be in bed, I'm going back to sleep. Thank you."

  "It’s okay, B. I'll see you in a bit."

  I am so cold; my skin is covered in goose bumps. I shut my eyes and drift off to an uncomfortable sleep.

  I wake to the smell of Vicks menthol. The low hum of a small motor is all I hear and I spy a square shaped humidifier on my nightstand. I groan when I realized how sore my throat is and how achy my body was feels. Instead of being cold I’m suddenly burning up and I throw the covers off of me.

  "Hey, Bonnie. How did you sleep?" Eli's voice is soft, smooth like honey. He’s sitting beside my bed, with a book in his lap. His hair is wet, slicked back and he’s wearing a dark t-shirt with some video game logo on it.

  "Okay for the most part. Thanks for the machine. That'll help out a bunch."

  He nodded and got up. “I picked up some medicine for you too. Let me go get it. But first let's get you sitting up.”

  Big flames of embarrassment rise in my chest as Eli's strong and gentle hands hook underneath my arms and pull me up. He fluffs the pillows behind me and lays a sheet over my ratty PJ-covered body.

  I smile weakly, "I'm fine, Eli. Really. It's just the flu, I guess. How's Mama doing?"

  "She's good. She woke up a couple hours ago and is watching TV. But
you're not fine, honey; the flu can be some nasty stuff. I brought some medicine the pharmacist recommended to me."

  His eyes are big and full of sympathy. Eli’s so tough on the outside, but has always been so tenderhearted, such a caregiver. He’s always been like that, as if it was engraved in him at birth to be a great caretaker.

  "I haven't been this sick in a long time," I grumble. My head is throbbing, as if somebody’s attacking with a jackhammer from the inside.

  Eli’s cool hand touches my forehead gently, "I know. You hardly ever get sick. Must have picked something up from the hospital all that time you were there."

  When he leaves the room, I pick up the phone. The clock reads that it was past lunchtime. I've been asleep much longer than I thought. When Eli returns, his arms are full of medicines. He sets a glass of clear liquid down and starts naming all the things he has.

  "I picked up tissues, Theraflu, more ibuprofen, sore throat spray, some Vicks chest rub stuff, and cough drops. Oh and I bought some chicken noodle soup and Sprite. Sprite is the only thing I'll drink if I'm real sick. Don't know why, but it's what my mom uses,” he smiles at me as he lays everything on my dresser.

  His helpfulness makes me choke up. I had prepared myself to tough it out, without any help. I only wanted Eli to help with Mama. For years now, I’ve been taking care of myself and besides Mama needed the most help anyway. But Eli went and bought almost a whole pharmacy…for me.

  "What is it? Do you feel bad?" He hands me a tissue, "Here we'll go ahead and get some of this stuff in you to make you start feeling better."

  I blow my nose and croak out, "Thank you, Eli. You don't have to take care of me. But it sure is nice."

  He sits down gingerly and hands me a measuring medicine cup filled with disgusting orange liquid. "What are ex-best friends for huh? I told you that I'd be here for anything. People get sick, but they also need someone to help take care of them when they get that way, you know? Don't worry about it."

  I take the medicine and immediately drink the Sprite. I can feel it cooling my throat instantly. After I tell Eli I’m hungry, he leaves to go make some soup. In a few minutes he comes in with a bed tray.

  "Do you remember when you got sick in Mrs. Benolk's class? It was like a chain reaction after that. One of the most interesting days of middle school for sure,” Eli says flipping through the channels on the TV. I smile big as the memory comes back to me. It was eighth grade year and I had stubbornly gone to school against advice of my parents. I ended up getting a fever and getting sick in the middle of class.

  "That was something huh? Mrs. Benolk acted like I had the plague. Ha!" I laugh softly. I eat the rest of my soup and Eli picks a talk show to watch. We sit in comfortable silence.

  Soon, I start to feel sleepy. I put my empty bowl on the table and scoot farther underneath the covers. My head thankfully isn’t pounding like before and I feel relief the instant I shut my eyes. Before I lose all awareness, I feel Eli gently tuck the cover in. He switches the TV off and brushes a cool hand across my forehead.

  I feel his lips softly brush my brow before whispering good night. These tiny gestures are giving me such a warm feeling of comfort. It’s hard to squash down the feeling of enjoyment I’ve begun to feel. And suddenly I’m not sure I want to anymore. It’s nice being taken care of. Mick never was attentive when I was sick, and instead avoided me at all cost, afraid he would catch whatever I had and ruin his shows. But Eli, he puts everyone above himself.

  I wake up a couple hours later and feel a big improvement all overt. Eli isn’t here, but I spy his note on the cleaned off night table. It reads: Going to get meds for Cindy. Be back soon.

  I climb out of bed. I’m so stiff and sore, from the lack of activity. I stretch gingerly and head to the bathroom.

  My hair almost makes me cry. It looks like a bird’s nest, sticking out in all directions. I splash some cold water on my face. Doing so is a reminder that I desperately need a shower.

  I turn the shower on hotter than usual and get undressed. A warm blanket of air engulfs me when I step inside. I wash my hair and lather up the rest of me in my favorite soap. My head still hurts, but not as bad.

  "Shit," I whisper realizing I didn't bring a change of clothes in the bathroom with me. I towel wrap my hair and grab Mama’s pink fluffy robe.

  When I enter my room, I nearly bump into Eli. He is changing the sheets on my bed. "Hey you don't have to do that, Eli."

  The gesture makes me want to cry, my emotions are obviously all over the map.

  "No it's okay. I heard you in the shower and figured it'd be nice to get into a clean bed, too. I'll finish in a minute so you can change."

  He stops suddenly when he looks at me. My face is flush and my skin has broken out in goose bumps.

  "You okay, B?" Eli puts a hand to my forehead and makes a tsk-tsk noise. He helps sit me down on the bed.

  "I think I just need some more meds," I whisper.

  "Yeah, seems like that. Here, just one sec,” with nimble fingers he swiftly pulls out two different kinds of medicine, “Let me go get you some Sprite okay? I'll be right back." And as fast as lightning he’s out of the room.

  My head is foggy, like somebody has taken a hundred cotton balls and stuffed them inside. I try to take a deep breath but my chest aches. I feel like death.

  Eli rushes back with a glass filled with Sprite. I take the medicine and take a sip. Sitting the glass down, I start to cry. I’ve reached my breaking point. I have never handled being severely ill very well.

  "Shhh, it's going to be okay honey. You'll start getting better soon. I promise. I'll get you ready for bed okay?"

  "No!" I exclaim through my crying.

  Eli stills beside me, "Bonnie, I just want to help you. I swear I am not going to be indecent. I would never do that to you. If you want to do it by yourself that's fine honey. I just want you to know I'm here if you need me.”

  I take a deep breath and look at his face. It hurts looking at something so beautiful, so full of caring that I don’t deserve.

  I finally nod and mumble, “Okay.”

  He goes to my dresser and retrieves some clean pajamas and underwear. He then comes over to me, “Did you dry off all the way?”

  I nod and he nods back, “Okay... I'm going to start then alright? I'll be quick.”

  I nod and look at him again. My eyes are glued to his as he puts the shirt over my head, struggling to get it over the towel wrapped around my hair. He takes my arms out of the robe gingerly and into the shirt. His touch is so soft and warm. It feels safe.

  “There you go. Now the rest, okay?” He holds my stare and I whisper my agreement. Eli kneels beside me with my underwear and lifts each foot into them. He brings them up all the way to my thighs.

  “Okay, honey. Grab on to me and stand up a little okay?” I’m drowning at this point. My insides have erupted into flames.

  “This doesn't mean ANYTHING got it?” I say hoarsely. This breaks the tension a little and Eli laughs.

  “No way, ma'am! I totally got it.”

  We lock eyes again as I stand up and hook my arms around his neck. Even though it’s been years, him being so close to me is familiar. He smells like fresh laundry. He quickly slides my underwear up over my bottom. My whole body is tingling.

  He clears his throat, “Um, okay let me sit you down and put your pants on, alright?”

  He pulls my pants over my feet and legs then stands me up again to pull them the rest of the way. He sits me down again and grabs my hairbrush.

  “I'm going to brush your hair then you can rest. Alright, darlin’?” His voice is low and husky. Was this doing anything to him? Did I want it to? All I do is nod and close my eyes as he gently towel dries my hair and starts brushing.

  “Is this hard for you?” I whisper.

  “A little bit,” he admits after a brief hesitation, “But I'm okay. Are you okay?”

  I snicker, “Yeah, except for the whole feeling like death part.” Eli chuckles
and I continue, “It’s nice though, being taken care of. I really do appreciate you helping me and Mama out.” I intertwine my fingers in my lap. The rhythm of the brush going up and down is relaxing.

  “It's not that big of a deal. I'm glad you called me, Bonnie. Do you want me to bring the dryer in here and dry your hair? I know you hate to sleep with wet hair.” He pauses letting that nugget of information stay in the air.

  “Um, yes if you don't mind,” I answer.

  He gets the dryer and sits down behind me. The feel of his fingers running through my hair sends tiny shivers coursing through my body. When we were together, my hair was longer and he always loved to brush it. When he switches the dryer off, I sigh sadly.

  “There we go,” he says softly. He brushes my hair one more time and my eyes grow heavy.

  I lay down and he pulls the covers up to my chin, “Good night hon. Get some rest baby doll.” His thumb strokes my cheek and I feel his warm lips on my forehead.

  ***

  Eli woke up to complete darkness. Wherever he was, it was pitch black. He realized he was lying on a lumpy mattress.

  He reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. It lit up showing it was around 3 am. There was a dull pounding on the left side of his head and his mouth was completely dry, almost as if he had cotton balls stuffed in there.

  All of a sudden, he heard a soft moan and felt someone shift. For a minute his heart stopped. Memories from a few hours before flood in. He remembers where he’s at, Eddie's friend's graduation party.

  What he did at the party hours before came back as well. And a stream of bile rose up in his mouth. He hadn’t gone to the party with ill intentions.

  "You sure are sexy as hell," Jacie, or (was it Joni?) whispered in his ear. Her hand was by his crotch, making teasing grazes across his lap.

  "Mmm, hmmm. They all say that," he whispered, his heart in his throat. Her perfume enveloped him smelling like vanilla. His hand idled on the small of her back.

  He was so drunk.