Ravenous

by HELEN HARDT

  “True, and I wouldn’t be the planning type. Maybe the committee is looking for old pictures, and someone contacted me because they…need funding.”

  I nodded. “That makes sense. It still doesn’t explain the need for old photos, though.”

  “I won’t bring Marj into it, then. I just thought she could help since she’s looked through all those boxes before. She might be able to tell me where to look.”

  “Best keep her out of it,” I said, wishing it weren’t so.

  “You’re right, except for one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t live there, so I’ll need some excuse for pawing through those old boxes.”

  I sighed. “Use the reunion excuse.”

  “If Talon and Marj buy it.”

  “Then don’t worry about it. I’m sure my mom kept every photo ever taken of me. Only child thing and all. I have the school photos somewhere.”

  “They could have gotten lost in the move.”

  He had a point. The movers had lost Henry’s diapers, so old photos could definitely be goners.

  My thoughts flew to my mother and father’s wedding photo—the photo I’d hid in a book at my mother’s request. “My mom is taking Henry to visit her sister in Florida for a few weeks. Once she’s gone, I’ll have free rein of the house and can root through boxes without inviting questions.”

  “Sounds good.” Joe shoved his notepad back into his pocket. “Keep me posted.”

  “How? How do we contact each other if we can’t use any phones?”

  “I’ve taken care of that. I had some people moved around in the office building. Your office will be right next to mine.”

  “Okay. That’s good. What about nonwork hours, though?”

  “We could text in code.”

  “Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all,” I said sarcastically.

  “You got a better idea?”

  Before I could answer, my cell phone buzzed.

  Chapter Twenty

  Marjorie

  I’d become engrossed in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Good versus evil was a classic trope in literature, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen it more artfully crafted. I thought about so many people. Bryce’s father, for sure, and my half uncle, Larry Wade.

  But I also saw my own father, Brad Steel, in the mix.

  He hadn’t been an evil man, but he’d done evil things. He’d slept with Wendy Madigan, resulting in Ryan. I couldn’t bring myself to regret that he’d been unfaithful to my mother, because if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have Ryan as a brother. I adored all my brothers, but Ryan had always been special to me. He was so happy and joyful, a welcome respite when Joe and Talon had been brooding.

  We were all a little evil in our own way.

  But my father… I’d worshiped him. I’d mourned him when he “died” after I turned eighteen. I missed him still, even though I now knew he wasn’t perfect. I’d been his baby girl. In fact, that was what he’d called me.

  Baby girl.

  He hadn’t spoiled me. He’d tried a few times, but I hadn’t let him. I’d learned the ranching business and had worked as hard around here as my brothers. I could run this business. I just had no interest in doing so. Silent partnership was great for me.

  He’d taught all of us the value of a dollar and of a hard day’s work. None of us took our money for granted. Oh, we treated ourselves for sure, but we were always grateful for our fortune.

  Because of the Steel money, I could study cooking in Paris and not worry about funding.

  Yes. I should do that.

  But not until Jade had the baby. I couldn’t leave my best friend, especially not since her pregnancy had been so difficult. Luckily, her spotting had stopped. Still, we all were walking on pins and needles, even though we tried not to mention it.

  I scoffed to myself. Once the baby was born, would I be able to leave then? My best friend’s baby. Plus, I’d already have a new nephew as well—Joe and Mel’s son, who was due soon.

  Plus Dale and Donny, who I’d grown very attached to and loved dearly.

  And Bryce…

  Would I ever leave?

  Would I ever realize my dream to study in Paris? To become a world-class chef?

  An epiphany struck me like a lightning bolt.

  I had to go.

  I had to go now.

  There would always be something to keep me here at the ranch. Here in Colorado.

  Jade’s baby. Joe’s baby. The boys. My brothers.

  And Bryce Simpson.

  He didn’t want me. I had to accept that.

  Perhaps getting away was the answer.

  Yeah, things were still going on with Colin Morse and his father. Yeah, we were all still struggling with the past.

  But the past was the past. I had an obligation to myself to look to the future.

  I had to go.

  First, though, I’d talk to Jade. After I explained my reasoning, if she wanted me to stay until she gave birth, I’d stay. She was my best friend, and I owed her that much.

  But if not?

  I was out of here.

  A smidge of guilt gnawed at me at the prospect of leaving my family. They needed me. But hired help could easily do what I’d been doing since Felicia had left.

  My life wasn’t on the ranch. I’d known that for a long time.

  My life was in a big city somewhere, where I’d feed hungry people at a five-star restaurant. That was my dream.

  It was time.

  Time to do what was right for me.

  “I understand,” Jade said after I’d shared my revelation with her. “You have to go. I hate it, but you have to.”

  “It’s killing me to think about missing your baby’s birth.”

  “It’s killing me too,” she said. “But I get it. I really do get it.”

  Jade was the only person—other than Mel—who knew about Bryce and me. Who knew I was in love.

  “One thing, though,” Jade said. “You need to be doing this for the right reason.”

  “I am. It’s what I want.”

  “I know it’s what you want in the long-term,” she said. “But think about it. If you’re doing this to get away from Bryce, that’s the wrong reason.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Marj…”

  “Okay. Maybe. But it’s not the only reason I want to go.”

  “Maybe it’s time to make a list of pros and cons,” she said. “They can be helpful.”

  “You sound like Melanie.”

  “Melanie’s a very smart woman.”

  No disagreement there. A tinge of sharpness hit my upper thigh where my cut was healing. Jade, who knew me better than anyone, didn’t know about that.

  “Okay, fine. We’ll make a pro and con list.” I grabbed my phone and pulled up the notepad. “Pro. I get to do what I love in a place I love.”

  “You can even make that two pros.” Jade smiled.

  “Con. I miss your baby’s birth.”

  “And Joe’s baby.”

  “Okay. Two cons.”

  “Pro side. I get some distance from Bryce.”

  “I’m not going to give you two pros for that one.”

  “Fair enough,” I said, though I thought it deserved about ten pros.

  “What else?” Jade asked.

  “The boys. I’ve grown to love them. I’ll miss them a lot.”

  “Con,” Jade said.

  “Yeah. Two cons. One for each.”

  “Anything else?”

  “My mother. She doesn’t know who I am, but I feel I should be here for her. I read to her, and she enjoys that.”

  “So far the cons are winning, Marj.”

  “I know.” I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I know.”

  “Let’s get serious for a minute,” Jade said. “This is something you want. Something you need, really, for your own well-being. Everyone should follow her dream.”

  I nodded.

  “But you’re young
. You have all the time in the world to follow your dream. You can put it off if you want to.”

  “Believe me. I’ve been through all of this in my head, Jade. I know getting away from Bryce is a big reason I’m thinking about this, but look at it objectively for a minute. How many people in the world put off their dreams for valid reasons, and then those reasons turn into more valid reasons? It becomes a vicious circle, and before they know it, their lives are over and they never did the one thing they dreamed about all those years.”

  “Those people didn’t have me for a best friend. I’m not going to let you give up on your dream, Marj. I promise.”

  I smiled. No, she wouldn’t allow that. “You want me to stay, don’t you?”

  “Of course I want you to stay, but we’re not talking about what I want here. We’re talking about what you want. There are more cons for you going now than pros. That’s just a fact.”

  She was right. No doubt about that. “I still want to go.”

  “Then I’ll support you. I’ll always support you, and so will Talon.”

  “I know. Thanks for that.”

  “Just don’t make any hasty decisions for the wrong reasons, okay?”

  “All right, all right. You’ve convinced me. I won’t make any travel arrangements today.”

  “And tomorrow?”

  “I’ll think about everything. I promise.”

  “I’m not suggesting you overthink it,” she said.

  “I won’t.” Though I would. I always did. “Thanks for the talk.”

  I walked out to the kitchen, but Talon shooed me away. “I told you you’re getting the night off. I can handle steaks on the grill, and Jade says she’ll throw together a salad.”

  “You can’t just eat steak and salad.”

  “We’re not. I put potatoes in the oven to bake.”

  “Did you fry some bacon?”

  “What for?”

  “For loaded baked potatoes.”

  “We’ll have butter, salt, and pepper. We don’t need them loaded.”

  “Yeah, you do. That’s how the boys like them. I’ll chop some chives for you.”

  “Get the hell out of here, Sis.”

  “You’ll need some shredded cheese. And sour cream.”

  He laughed and actually pushed me out of the kitchen. “We’ll make do. Go do something for yourself.”

  Something for myself? I’d read a good part of the afternoon, and then I’d debated going to Paris with Jade. What else could I do for myself?

  I headed back to my room, fired up my laptop, and started researching cooking schools in Paris and other places.

  Time for Marjorie Steel.

  Time for me.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Bryce

  “Hey, Mom,” I said into the phone. “Everything all right?”

  “We’re fine, but I’d like you to come home.”

  “Why?”

  “To spend some quality time with your son. We’re leaving for Florida in the morning.”

  “Already? I didn’t think you’d—”

  “Vicky was ecstatic when I mentioned we might be coming. They’re still struggling, Bryce, so I decided to make the arrangements. It’s costing a lot at the last minute like this, but Vicky sounded distraught.”

  “Don’t worry about money, Mom. I’ll get my first paycheck soon enough.”

  “Anyway, come on home, please. I’ll make a home-cooked meal for you and Henry.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I ended the call and turned to Joe. “I’ve got to go. My mom and Henry are leaving for Florida tomorrow.”

  “Okay. That’s good.”

  I rubbed my jawline, easing the stressful ache there. “Yeah. It’s good. And it’s not good. I’m going to miss my son like crazy, but I need him and Mom away from this mess until we know what’s going on. He’s just a baby, and if anything happened to him…”

  “Nothing will happen,” Joe reassured me. “He’ll be safe with your mom in Florida. Believe me. I’ve thought many times of sending Melanie away somewhere since this all crept up again.”

  I couldn’t help a chuckle. “I doubt she’d go quietly.”

  “If I told her it was important, she’d go,” Joe said. “She would trust me.”

  “Why don’t you, then?”

  “Selfish reasons. I don’t want to miss the birth of my child.”

  I nodded. “I get it. I do.”

  “If it gets worse, I’ll send her off.”

  “Let’s hope it doesn’t get worse, then.”

  After we ate my mom’s meat loaf and mashed potatoes and Henry and I played for an hour, I read him a book and tucked him into his crib. He was such a sweet little guy. I’d miss him so much, but he’d be better off in Florida—at least for now.

  Not just because he’d be away from all the mess here, but also because I wasn’t in any shape to be the father he deserved.

  Not only would I figure the whole Justin Valente thing out, I also made another promise.

  I was going to get the help I needed.

  I owed that to my son. He deserved the best father out there, and by the time he returned, I’d be well on my way.

  Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I could at least lay a foundation.

  I left the nursery and found my mother packing in her bedroom. “Putting things from boxes into a suitcase,” she said. “Unbelievable.”

  “Tell me about Aunt Vicky,” I said. “What’s going on?”

  “She didn’t get into specifics. Apparently she’s okay, but now Chase is regressing. He stayed strong for her, and now that she’s doing better, he’s letting go.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “I’m going for Vicky. She needs me. But honestly, Bryce, I’m not sure it will help Chase to have me there. I’m his son’s murderer’s widow.” She winced.

  I nodded. I didn’t have to say anything. I was the devil’s spawn. At least she didn’t have any blood relation to him.

  “We’ll see. If it doesn’t work out, Henry and I will come home, but I’m determined to give it at least a week. Vicky deserves that much. I just feel…”

  “I know.”

  “…so responsible,” she finished. “I had no control over your father, but still…”

  “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” I said. “I get it. I get it more than you know.”

  “I know you do, Bryce. If I’d never married him—”

  “Then I wouldn’t exist, and neither would Henry. Don’t go there, Mom.”

  “I try not to. You and Henry are everything to me. It’s hard sometimes, though.”

  “I know.” Boy, did I ever.

  “I’ll miss you, honey.”

  “I’ll miss you too, Mom. And I’ll miss Henry something fierce.” Truth was, I’d been missing him already.

  But this was for the best.

  I left my mother to her packing, went back in the nursery to kiss my sleeping son, and then walked out to the deck to enjoy the evening—as much as I could, anyway.

  Joe and I hadn’t finished our discussion. How were we going to communicate when we weren’t at work? I had no idea. Maybe the Spider would know a way to do that.

  Could I contact him? I pulled my phone out and logged in to the new account Joe had set up. Nothing was in the account, at least not that I could see offhand. On a whim, I checked the trash bin.

  And I found a gold mine.

  Joe and the Spider had emailed back and forth this evening…and he hadn’t told me. It was in code—a code I didn’t recognize. It wasn’t like Joe to keep things from me. Could I wait until tomorrow at the office to confront him about this?

  No. I couldn’t.

  I quickly told my mom I was going over to Joe’s for a little while, got into the Mustang—tomorrow I was selling this damned car—and made my way to Joe’s home on the ranch.

  His and Melanie’s house was smaller than the sprawling main ranch house, but not by much. I got out o
f the car quickly, and—

  My heart jammed against my sternum.

  Marjorie was walking out of the house.

  I could get back in my car and drive away before our inevitable encounter. Yeah. That was what I should do.

  Instead, though, I got out of the car and walked toward her.

  She stopped suddenly when she met my gaze. “What are you doing here?”

  “I could ask you the same,” I said.

  “I had to talk to Melanie.”

  “I have to talk to Joe.”

  She nodded. “He’s out back on the deck. I’ll get out of your way.”

  Let her go, I said to myself. Just let her go.

  Instead, “Is everything okay?”

  “Sure. Fine.”

  Her tone was anything but convincing. She and Jade were best friends, not she and Melanie. If she was speaking to Melanie, it was probably because…

  None of my business.

  Still, I loved this woman. She meant everything to me. Had she…? Had I…?

  “Marjorie, I—”

  “Not about you,” she said abruptly, interrupting me. “Not everything is about you, Bryce.”

  “I didn’t think—”

  “Of course you did, and after my blubbering the other day, I can’t blame you. But I’m over it. In fact, you won’t see me around much longer.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving the ranch?”

  She nodded. “The ranch. The state. The country.”

  My heart dropped to my stomach.

  No. She wasn’t leaving. She couldn’t leave. “The country?”

  “I’m going to Paris. If I can’t get into Le Cordon Bleu, I’ll find somewhere else to study.”

  “But…Jade. The baby.”

  “Jade understands.”

  “I’m sure she does, but—”

  “No buts. The decision has been made. I leave next week.”

  “No. You can’t.”

  “I assure you I can, and I will. Now if you’ll excuse—”

  I stalked toward her, closing the space between us. Already the heat was building. I could feel it, hear the inaudible drumbeat it produced in tandem with the rhythm of my heart. Even see it, a pulsing red that enclosed us.