Hide Your Crazy (KPD Motorcycle Patrol Book 1)

by Lani Lynn Vale

  “Did they do a DNA test?” she asked.

  And, despite the fact that it usually made me nauseous to talk about, I told her why I’d done what I did.

  “At first? I was trying to play nice for the kid’s sake,” I admitted. “My ex-best friend is gone. The moment that he realized that he would be responsible for the child that he’d created—a kid that I truly believe he thought he was giving me as a favor—he up and left without another word. He went to Alaska. If I see him ever again, it’ll be a miracle.”

  “He thought he was doing you a favor?” she asked.

  I sighed and nodded my head.

  “To understand what I mean, I’ll have to tell you a story about Paydon,” I explained.

  She walked to the table and took a seat.

  I waited, knowing that she wanted to know more.

  And, like the man that I was, I decided to hell with it.

  If she wanted to know it all, I’d tell her it all.

  Chapter 12

  Marry the person that’s willing to burn down the world for you. Then keep a good eye on his mental state just in case.

  -Text from Katy to Rowen

  Katy

  I watched him walk toward me and tried valiantly not to look down.

  Don’t look at the penis.

  Don’t look at the penis.

  He made it up to the edge of the table before I couldn’t stop myself any longer. I glanced at his penis.

  “Tell me about Paydon,” I ordered softly.

  Logan took a seat and started to play a fork over his knuckles, allowing it to twist back and forth through his fingers as he stared at me.

  Then he told me the most beautiful story that I’d ever heard in my life.

  “Paydon Maxwell was born normal,” he began. “But, during our senior year, he was in an accident. Drunk driving. An old man with over four DUIs under his belt hit him, and Paydon smashed his head so hard on the steering wheel that he lost consciousness. When he woke back up in the hospital, he was okay…kind of. It wasn’t until much later that I learned that Paydon had suffered a traumatic brain injury. And that TBI changed Paydon’s life. From that point forward, Paydon, for all intents and purposes, now resembled his twelve-year-old self. Still my best friend…but not.”

  “Oh,” I sighed, hating where this was going.

  “Yeah,” Logan confirmed. “Paydon understood, mostly, what happened to him. He was more than cognizant of what happened, but he just had a child’s understanding. He didn’t really understand the consequences as an adult.”

  “Meaning,” I said softly. “When your ex-wife told him that you wanted a baby, Paydon thought he was doing you a favor. Thought he was giving you what you wanted.”

  He nodded once.

  “That’s why I left her,” he said. “Not because she slept with another man. Not because she got pregnant. Not because she did all this behind my back. Though, all of those are bad. But because of what she did to Paydon. She used him. She…Paydon is handsome. He’d been a heartbreaker when we were growing up. When we were sixteen, I used to get all his castoffs. He’s attractive, and I’m not going to lie, as long as Paydon doesn’t talk, he could be completely normal. But he’s not. And Tasia knew that. Took advantage of that. I know that Paydon isn’t a virgin. I know that it’s likely that he’s done that stuff since his accident. Twelve-year-olds are still capable enough to understand the feelings that they have. But…he doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. And he really didn’t understand why I was so upset…which is why he left. Why he said he was never coming back.”

  I groaned. “Have you gone up there to see him? To explain that you’re not mad at him?”

  “His parents asked for time to explain,” he said softly. “He’s really upset. Still upset. It’s been a year and a half. Almost two years now. I’m giving him the summer. And if I’d had money to go up there and see him before now, I would’ve done it. But Tasia not only took the best thing I’ve ever had with Paydon—our friendship—but she also took me to the cleaners. She gets child support checks out of me and everything.”

  I wanted to say so much more, to ask question upon question, but I somehow bottled them all up and closed the lid. Barely.

  But he must’ve seen the struggle because he grinned and asked me a question of his own.

  “You’re wondering why she’s getting child support checks, aren’t you?” he guessed.

  I nodded once.

  “It was more of a calculated move on my part,” he admitted. “She listed me as the father on the birth certificate. She also listed me as the father in every single piece of information she could get her hands on. She told anyone and everyone. The whole town thinks she’s mine.”

  I blinked. “Why didn’t you set them straight? Why didn’t you tell everyone and anyone that would listen what she did?”

  He scrubbed his hands down his face.

  “Like I said, calculated move,” I admitted. “There’s no law against having sex with a man that can make his own decisions. Morally, yes, it’s wrong. But lawfully? She could do that. She did do that.” He leaned down to pet his dog that had somehow guessed that her owner was upset and leaned against his legs. “But there is a law about a man getting access to his child if you don’t have the cognizant ability to take care of said child.”

  I saw where he was going with it now.

  “Right now, there is no custody agreement because I’m sure she thinks that I’m just going to lay here and take it. That I’ll never pursue the kid since I was willing to divorce over it,” he said. “But, in actuality, I’m just biding my time until I can save up enough money to take her to court.”

  “What then?” I asked.

  “Then?” he shrugged. “Then I try to gain visitation with the kid. Allow Paydon to have visitation when he’s down. When he finally comes back, because eventually I’ll be able to head up there and make him see that I’m not mad.”

  I blew my hair out of my face, then shook my head only to knock it all back in my face again.

  “I…I don’t think I’ve ever hated someone I just met so much before in my life,” I admitted. “What in the absolute hell kind of person did you marry?”

  He started to chuckle. “I wonder that about twenty times a day myself. I mean, I realize that she wanted kids. She wanted them badly. I thought that it was with me but…apparently any man would’ve done. I think Paydon was just convenient, close, attractive and there. Oh, and easy to manipulate.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose, then turned my back on the man and walked into the kitchen.

  “Do you want a beer?” I asked as I made my way to my fridge.

  “No,” he paused, then said, “Yes.”

  Grinning, I took two beers out of the refrigerator and placed them on the counter, then went back in for the lasagna and salad.

  “Do you want avocado lime ranch dressing or regular ranch?” I asked as I poked my head over the fridge door.

  “Ummm.” He thought about that for a long moment. “What’s the avocado lime ranch one taste like?”

  I made a face that I hoped was close to orgasmic.

  “It’s so good,” I admitted. “It has a little extra kick to it. I can’t really explain. Just try it on a little piece of lettuce.”

  I handed him the salad and both bottles of salad dressing over the fridge door, which he took.

  “There are utensils in that drawer next to the sink.” I pointed at it. “You can eat that while I heat up the lasagna.”

  Which he did.

  Right out of the massive bowl.

  He didn’t try the ranch on one piece of lettuce, though. He just dumped it straight into the bowl and started mixing.

  He took his first bite as I was placing a large square of lasagna onto a paper plate.

  He made a groaning sound that had me turning to look at him with a grin.

  “It’s good, huh?” I asked.

  “I’m not much of a salad eater,” he a
dmitted. “They’re not my favorite thing. Lettuce on a burger? Yes. Lettuce on tacos? Hell yes. Lettuce straight up? Hell no. But this? It makes me actually want to take another bite and not just choke it down.”

  I snickered and added two minutes to the timer before turning my body and allowing my hips and ass to rest against the counter.

  I watched him eat.

  For two full minutes, I watched the muscles in his arms work. The muscles of his jaw. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

  It wasn’t until the microwave beeped behind me that he finally looked up and caught me staring.

  “What?” he asked around a mouthful of lettuce.

  “Is your hand okay?” I asked. “Do you want some ice?”

  He lifted his hand up, which had been resting in his lap, and stared at it.

  “It hurts,” he admitted. “And it’s just the icing on the cake of my shitty day. But it doesn’t hurt bad enough that it’s going to stop me from doing anything.”

  That didn’t answer my question.

  So, after I placed his lasagna down next to him and grabbed the beers to move them to the table, I also grabbed a bag of ice and held it out to him until he took it.

  He rolled his eyes as he did, but the smile was there, soft and warm, as he tucked it into his hand and went about eating his dinner.

  “Glad that lady didn’t cause you to lose your appetite,” I teased.

  He scraped the side of the bowl with his fork, then took one last bite of the salad before pushing it backward and reaching for the plate that was next to him.

  “Homemade meals are few and far between,” he admitted. “My mom and stepfather live in Kentucky on a farm. They can’t just get up and leave to come visit, and there’s no way in hell I’ll ever go there to visit again. Meaning it’s me, myself, and I cooking meals. And I kind of suck at it.”

  My brows rose, and he obviously knew what I wanted to ask, because he answered it without me having to say a word.

  “My sister and brother refused to listen to my side of the story when it came to the baby,” he explained. “They didn’t believe me. Think I’m being stupid. Honestly, they made their position perfectly clear. And since they both live on the ranch and help manage it with my parents, I’m not going back home. I finally got myself to a place that I’m comfortable again. I have my job, and my only brother that was here that saw the shit go down with his own eyes and believed in me when nobody else did. It’s where I’m staying. And my mom and stepdad can just come when they can. Otherwise, we just don’t see each other that much anymore.”

  “Did your mom remarry after your dad’s accident?” I wondered.

  “Yes,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Mom and Dad never got along. Mom hated my dad’s hours. Hated his job. Hated how he always seemed to want to go to work, but never stay at home with her or the kids. Eventually that turned to resentment, and they amicably divorced.”

  “So how many brothers and sisters do you have?” I continued my questioning.

  “Three. Two brothers, one sister. One that lives down here. The rest live up there with my mom and stepdad,” he answered.

  “Was that always the case?” I asked. “Did you go up there at all? Or did you stay with your dad?”

  “By that point, I was in high school and unwilling to leave my friends. I was a starter for the football team. I owned the school. Needless to say, I wasn’t willing to leave.” He snorted. “My brother was the same way, only one year younger than me. My youngest brother and youngest sister, not so much. They went with my mom because they couldn’t look after themselves like we could. My mom remarried about a year later, but they never had any more kids.”

  “You just have a long list of crazy going on in your life, don’t you?” I observed.

  He took a final bite of his lasagna, then answered with, “You have no idea. I’ve only given you the tip of the iceberg. There’s a whole underground world that you’ve yet to see.”

  I could imagine.

  “I didn’t have anything quite as exciting as your childhood…or adulthood for that matter,” I confessed. “My mother was killed when I was a baby—still in her womb, actually. I was in the hospital for weeks before my father was able to get home. He was deployed at the time. My dad met Reese when I was young. They married, and along with Reese came Rowen, who was a year younger than me. Derek came later.”

  “Derek seems very…” he searched for the right word.

  “Blunt?” I suggested. “Out there? Uncaring? Unfeeling?”

  Logan started to laugh. “Blunt works. I liked it, though. Sometimes it’s nice to see exactly what you’re getting when it comes to someone. It’s nice not to have to search for the deception that normally always lies around the corner.”

  “Oh, what you see is what you get with him, that’s for sure,” I disclosed.

  “That’s the juiciest thing you have?” he asked. “No skeletons that I don’t already know about in your closet?”

  My phone rang and I reached for it as I said, “Rowen hated me when we were in high school for about half a year. She resented me because I was skipping grades while she was left behind.”

  I held up a finger when he would’ve said something, then placed the receiver to my ear.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  When nothing was said, I placed the phone on speaker.

  “Hello?” I repeated.

  “Hey, Katy, this is Bruno Marks, from the shipping store?” came the voice.

  “Sorry about that,” I apologized. “My phone’s been acting up and won’t let me talk on it normally. Is everything all set for tomorrow’s package pick-up?”

  “I haven’t been able to reach the driver that usually runs your route yet, but I can definitely come by there and get it on my way…” Logan waved me off, then gestured at himself. I grinned. “…and get it if that’s okay with you.”

  “Oh, I really appreciate it, but my neighbor offered to get it,” I said. “He said he could drop it off for me. Thank you so much, though.”

  “Ah,” Bruno hesitated. “No problem. I’m sorry it was so hard to get picked up. Please be reassured that I’m looking into it.”

  “It’s fine,” I said. “Thank you, have a good night!”

  “Uh, yeah, you, too.” He paused. “Listen, do you want to file a complaint?”

  I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. “I don’t think that’s necessary. But I appreciate it. Have a good one.”

  With that, I hung up, and Logan started firing off questions from our earlier conversation.

  “Why did she resent you for that?” he asked, referring to Rowen.

  “I think she just missed her friend,” I admitted. “We eventually got over it, and she became my rock. It was seriously hard making friends in that school when you were three years younger than them. Right now, three years doesn’t mean a thing. But in high school? It meant everything.”

  He snorted. “That’s truer than true.”

  I started gathering up his dishes, but he stilled my hand.

  “Please, let me,” he said gruffly.

  I felt my heart start to pound at the warmness of his hand wrapped around mine.

  “Sure,” I said, voice cracking halfway through the word.

  He winked at me and stood up, gathering all the dishes in his one good hand, and walking them to the sink.

  There, he washed them all and put them in the draining pan next to the sink.

  “I guess I better go,” he said, looking once more at his dog that had curled up next to Lou on the floor. “Tomorrow morning’s gonna suck.”

  “I feel you,” I thought nervously. “I forgot to get a rope.”

  He blinked at me.

  “I have some handcuffs,” he admitted. “You can borrow them.”

  “You think that’s wise, allowing me to use handcuffs?” I asked. “Do you know how clumsy and accident-prone I am?”

  “Actually?” he snorted. “No. You
look fairly graceful to me.”

  “Well, I’m not,” I told him. “I’ve broken more bones in the last three years than most people have their entire life.”

  He stared at me for a few long seconds before saying, “I could stay here. You could try them out for a night. It’s not like I’m going to sleep anyway.”

  Chapter 13

  Coffee makes me _______.

  -Coffee Cup

  Logan

  “I could stay here. You could try them out for a night. It’s not like I’m going to sleep anyway.”

  Had that really just come out of my mouth?

  Jesus Christ, Gibbs! She doesn’t want you at her place! She barely knows you!

  “You wouldn’t mind?” Katy whispered, looking down at her clenched hands. “That would…that would be really good. I seriously, seriously don’t like sleepwalking. It’s really kind of scary to wake up in places that you don’t remember going to. And this part of town…”

  I knew exactly what she meant.

  Though, just sayin’, the way Katy looked? I wouldn’t want her out at all in any part of the city. Even if it was in a nice neighborhood.

  “No, I wouldn’t mind,” I told her honestly. “I was serious. My sleeping is vastly diminished. I’m lucky for those two to three hours.”

  She seemed to withdraw into herself as she stiffened her spine. “You’ll sleep in my bedroom? I have a king-sized bed.”

  “Umm,” I said. “Sure.”

  She grinned. “But you have to use the cuffs. What if you’re actually sleeping for those two hours and I try to get up?”

  Dammit, she was right.

  I was going to suggest she just sleep without them, but what if I didn’t hear her get up?

  The two hours that I did sleep, I slept hard. It was like my body was pounding out every second that it could get, and nothing—and by nothing, I mean train horns, airplanes, people knocking on my door—nothing would wake me up.

  “I have to make a trip back to my place to get the cuffs,” I admitted. “I’ll take the dogs out one more time.”