by Angel Rose
“You’re the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world. And the horniest.” He smiled as I kissed his lips. The shower water fell on top of us like tiny little droplets of silk. Michael was still inside of me and I could feel him throbbing as he finished his release. He pulled out slowly and I skated down his wet body. He turned to face me as I washed him. He giggled as I touched him, he was soft and sensitive to the touch of my hand and that turned me on. We stood in the shower staring at one another.
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. My life’s been fucked up, Jenesis. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you. You complete me…in every way.”
Our eyes locked and there were no words left to top what he had just said, so I changed the subject and replied,
“I think we better get out of this shower and get ready.”
“Yeah, let’s go before Dave loses it.” We both threw on sweat pants and sweatshirts, grabbed our belongings and headed out the door.
We got to Dave’s apartment building and rang the buzzard. We used my old key to open the front door of the building. Dave was waiting for us at the top of the stairwell. He gawked at me as I walked towards him. He said nothing then gave me a tight, strong hug. I could feel all of his sentiments emanate on to me. It was powerful, he was wounded and lonely and I felt his pain. Michael walked into the apartment, scanning the place as if a tornado had struck.
“What the fuck happened here? Why are Margaret’s things in boxes already?” Michael said perusing the room, shocked that Margaret’s belongings were already packed and shit was thrown all over the place.
“She was packing. She was leaving me, Michael.” Dave’s face was flushed with anger.
“What? Why?” he asked.
“Dave, what happened?” My heart was pounding, and the rage on Dave’s face worried me.
“Margaret was cheating on me with another man.” He said furiously as he turned away from us and punched the mirror in the hallway with full force.
“Oh My God! Dave, No, no, you’re wrong! She would never do that. She loved you Dave!” I ran to the bathroom and got a towel and alcohol from the medicine cabinet. Jesus, this guy and his temper, I thought to myself. I walked over to Dave whose nostrils were flaring and hands were trembling as he tried to control himself.
“This is going to hurt a little.” I whispered as I poured the alcohol on his fist that was split open, the blood pouring all over the hardwood floor. Dave stared at me, his brown eyes tearful, but burning with hate. I swallowed hard. He frightened me.
“Look, I always caught her whispering on the phone and one night, when she fell asleep, I looked through her cell phone and she didn’t delete the number. I called and it was a man named Carl who answered.” he stared at me, his dark brown eyes speaking to me as if I knew who he was talking about.
“Carl?” I acted surprised. I knew a Carl. It couldn’t it be the same man?
“Some guy from a college, a professor or something.” he paused for a moment. Then he looked over at Michael, then at me.
“He said he knew you.” Dave continued to glare at me.
“Me? W…why me?” I stuttered a little. My heart was racing and now I felt like I had some explaining to do. I could feel Michael’s scowl from behind.
“Yeah, why her?” Michael’s eyes burned a hole through mine.
“Margaret was planning on going back to school, but she didn’t tell me. I found a school catalog from John Jay College. She met this professor guy and I guess they hit it off or something.” His voice was becoming harsh and soon he began to yell as he spoke. “Here, take a look at the catalog. His name is written across the top. Call me, Carl and his number.” He handed Michael the pamphlet then squeezed the towel that was doused in blood.
I could feel Dave’s anger. I shook my head in disbelief and for a moment, I felt guilty. Then I looked over at Michael whose facial expression was a cross between confused and angry.
“My God Dave, I’m sorry, are you sure she was leaving you for him? He’s married.” I knew I wasn’t going to get away with not mentioning that I knew Carl, so I opened my mouth rather quickly. Carl was before Michael anyway, this could do no harm. So I thought.
“I found that out later, but she swore he was leaving his wife and kids for her. He was younger than her, too. What was she thinking! He lied to her, but she was leaving me anyway. I loved her and she let that piece of shit cheater ruin our relationship!” He barked at me.
“How do you know him?” Michael’s narrowed his eyes at me, his eyebrows furrowed.
“He was my professor when I went to John Jay. I dated him for a couple of weeks. It was nothing. I found out he was married and I left him. I never thought he was into older women, though.” My voice was low, almost to a whisper and I felt guilty but, I shouldn’t have. It was a long time ago.
“So you fucked him, too?” His face was enflamed with anger as he grabbed me by the arm. I shrugged him off of me and said nothing.
“We don’t have time for this shit right now, Michael. Whatever happened between Jen and that fuck happened a long time ago, get over it.” Michael gawked at Dave, but I knew he wanted to punch his fist through a wall, maybe even my face.
“Jen, can you pick out some clothes for her funeral? Michael, can I talk to you for a sec?” Dave motioned with his hand toward the kitchen. Michael followed.
“I’ll be in the room.” I stood up quickly and headed towards the bedroom. Michael walked away from me but not before throwing daggers at me with his piercing blue-green eyes.
I can’t believe Michael said that to me. He knows he was my first. We’ll have to finish that conversation later, I thought to myself. I sifted through Margaret’s clothing that was spread out on Dave’s bed. Carl? Carl? I said to myself in disbelief. How did Carl get into this equation without me knowing? Margaret never mentioned him at all. This all seemed so strange. She was going back to school? Since when? I was so confused.
I continued to sort through through the clothing. I knew how much Margaret loved to get dressed up. She especially loved her shoes. Her shoes. I chose the tight silver dress with the imitation diamond studs on it, the dress she wore the night they met at the gallery.
Dave walked into the bedroom and said,
“Jen, I’m glad you’re here to pick out her clothing. I’m sure this is the way she would have wanted it,” he said as he lifted the dress off of the bed. “I wonder if she wore this dress for him. You knew that bastard. You knew I hated him just being with you. What makes you think I could ever forgive him for fucking Margaret?” he said humiliated.
“Don’t say that. This is all a mistake. I’m telling you. She loved you. There’s no way on earth she was cheating on you. Dave, I know it’s Carl, but this has to be a mistake…why? Why would he do this knowing that Margaret was with you?” I said convincingly.
“He wanted to get me back for beating his ass that day? Do you remember that day, Jen? Do you?” I swallowed hard remembering the day that Dave grabbed Carl by the throat and created a fiasco at the diner.
“Yes…I do.” I wanted to change the subject so I asked, “Dave, where did she crash? Was it near the loft?” He turned his back on me.
“I’ll explain everything to you when I get back. This conversation about Carl isn’t over; that bastard must have a death wish. A FUCKING DEATH WISH.” His bleeding hand trembled. “Anyway, relax and try to take a nap or something, or go through her clothes…I don’t know, find something to do. There’s some pasta in the fridge with grilled chicken on the side. I suck at making dinner. She did everything.” He lowered his head, then turned and looked at me. “I’ll see you later.” His fury couldn’t be yielded, yet, when I looked into his eyes there was a look of distress… devastation. He seemed…broken.
“Hey, what’s the hold up? Let’s go. I’ll talk to you when I get back.” Michael stared directly into my eyes. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Love you, too.” I whispered sarcastically under my breath.
>
Michael and Dave left the apartment. The grim feeling of being alone where Margaret once stood, laughing and cooking with Dave, sent a cold chill up my spine. I was looking at the boxes Dave said Margaret packed, and I noticed that everything was thrown inside. Margaret would have never thrown her stuff in a box like that, especially her shoes. There is no way she packed these boxes, I thought to myself.
I started to rummage through her things. She had so many shoes and dresses. I didn’t think I could fold and pack all of these things alone. I couldn’t believe she was seeing Carl out of all people, and he had the nerve to mention my name. I just don’t understand how he met her or when he met her? What did he want? Was she driving to see me or him? I wanted to know what happened. I needed to know what happened.
I kept looking through Margaret’s belongings, and in the closet under a pile of clothing was a hamper. I opened the hamper, pushing clothes to the side until I saw some blue jeans and socks rolled into balls on top of a black plastic bag that was tied into a knot. I untied it and opened it slowly, it smelled like dirty clothes. There was a white blouse with blood on the collar and a pair of jeans stained with some blood on the front pocket. I held the blouse in my hand and then dropped it back into the hamper. As I was about to pick up the jeans, I suddenly heard keys opening the front door. I quickly placed the blouse back into the bag, placed it in the hamper, and put the cover back on it. I threw some clothing on top of it, jumped on the bed, and pretended to lie down.
“Jenesis, are you sleeping?” I heard Michael’s voice. He walked into the room. His face was pale, and he looked sick, but nothing said more than his eyes. He seemed ill and his blue-green eyes were surrounded by tiny red blood vessels.
“Michael, are you okay? I was trying to nap, but I really didn’t get to go through much of her stuff. I hope Dave understands.” I got up from the bed and walked over to him. He took a step back then placed his hand on his forehead shaking his head, then he slid both hands through his hair.
“Dave is so distraught. I’ve never seen him so down. I thought maybe we could stay with him tonight?”
“You stay. I can’t. Margaret’s things are all around here, and it hurts me too much.” I extended my hands out to him so he could give me a hug me. He held reached for me and grabbed me by the waist. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes solemn. Then, he lowered his head and looked at my stomach.
“How’s my baby doing?” He held me tightly around my waist, placing his lips on my neck, inhaling my scent, as he pressed his cheek against mine. “Jenesis, I love you. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I know I’m always apologizing and you’re sick of hearing my bullshit, but, I love you so much that just the thought of you being with anyone else before makes me jealous…even if…I didn’t know you. I wish we didn’t have a past; I wish we were born at the very same time, at the same moment; the day when we first laid eyes on each other. Where I haven’t touch anyone else and neither have you. It drives me insane to know you were in someone else’s arms, on someone else’s lips. You and the baby…are my life now. You’re all I have. Do you understand me? You. Are. All. I. have.” He placed his forehead against mine as tears brimmed in his eyes. He closed them tightly as the tears squeezed through his eyelids skimming down his cheeks.
“Michael, what’s wrong?” I kissed his forehead gently.
“This is too much for me. I never thought I could feel this upset…but Margaret…she was like a mother to you. I felt so sorry for her, seeing her there…cold, pale…dead. I…I’m so sorry, Jen.” He leaned against the wall placing his head back and sliding his hands into his front pockets. The sight of his beautiful eyes shedding tears for the woman I called my mother made my heart bleed. I would have never thought Margaret’s death would affect Michael like that. He was taking her death so personal; it almost seemed as if something else was bothering him.
“I’ll call you a cab. Are you sure you want to go home?”
“Yeah, I’m tired, but if you want me to stay…I will.” I placed my hands around his waist and he shook his head. Dave walked out of the bathroom into his bedroom.
“Dave, how are you?”
“Are you leaving, Jen? Were you able to pack any of Margaret’s things?”
“I took a nap like you said to.” I felt nervous and didn’t know what to say after finding the bag with the blood stained clothing.
“I was hoping you would help me out.” He frowned and he seemed a little annoyed.
“I promise I’ll come tomorrow morning, I just need to rest.” I gave him a quick kiss goodbye on his cheek. He cheek was ice-cold and on the way out I felt uneasy. Dave stood there at the door entrance staring at me without batting an eyelash. He was devastated, yet emotionless at the same time. I couldn’t read him at all, and that made me feel even worse.
CHAPTER 7
Michael called me a cab, but seemed hesitant to let me go. He held me tightly around my shoulders for a moment, and then walked me downstairs to wait for the cab.
“Jen, I know you loved Margaret to death. We’ll get through this, I promise. I love you, call me when you get home.” He opened the door to the cab and I stepped in. He held my hand tightly and kissed me on the lips.
“I will, Michael, I love you, see you later?” He nodded. I sat in the back seat of the cab and looked up at him. I was worried, but I didn’t know why.
I watched as Michael walked back into the building to Dave’s apartment. I couldn’t help but think about Margaret, how sorry I felt for her, what she was thinking about when she was about to crash her car. I also couldn’t help thinking about the blouse and jeans that were stained with blood. I was jumping to conclusions…this wasn’t over yet.
The cab driver drove quickly and I was at the loft in no time. As I walked up the stairs, I noticed the light in the hallway was out. I stepped on what seemed like broken glass on the floor. I stopped and lifted my foot to remove the chard of glass stuck in the rubber sole of my shoe. I took my keys out, opened the door to the loft quickly, and locked the door behind me. I was worried about the glass being broken in the hallway, so I called Michael on his cell phone.
“Michael, the light in the hallway is out. I think someone broke it, can you call Victor to replace it?” I was jumpy and rambling on like a crazy person.
“Hey, slow down, are you okay? You sound worried? It’s just a light bulb Jenesis.” He chuckled over the phone.
“No, I’m fine. I know. I’m going to take a shower and go to sleep.” I giggled nervously.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine.”
“I’ll call him, good night. Call me if anything.”
“Night.”
Michael and I hung up. I turned on the hot water in the shower letting the bathroom steam up like a sauna. As I undressed, I took a moment to admire my tiny growing baby bump, rubbing it gently with a smile on my face. I can’t wait to have this baby, I thought to myself. The water trickled down my body slowly, and the warm mist slid across my face. I rubbed the back of my neck trying to remove the built up tension. I sat on the edge of the tub as the water hit my feet. I suddenly gasped for air as I thought about Margaret. I stood up quickly and turned off the shower water. I stepped out of the tub grabbing the towel and walking into the bedroom. I closed the shades, dried up and placed my pajamas on. I propped up two pillows, one underneath my head and one between my legs. I wrapped the towel around my head. Margaret’s face appeared to me again, screaming, and crying. I began to panic. I needed to get up and walk around. As I walked back and forth in the bedroom, I heard a banging on the front door. I removed the towel from my head. I was startled to say the least and my heart was racing a little. I walked over to the door.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Who is it?” I repeated.
“Victor, is that you?” I asked sternly.
“Yeah.” the voice behind the door answered.
I opened the door and was immediately knocked do
wn by a power blow to my face with a fist of steel. I fell so hard I hit the back of my head on the hardwood floor. I held my face and turned over on my belly to avoid whoever was hit me, not to hit me in my stomach. All I heard was, “Come here you bitch! This will teach you!” He grabbed me by my hair and hit me in the face again, this time in the nose. I held my nose as the blood poured out of it into my mouth and I yelled,
“Oh my God! Stop! Please!” I yelled. I lied in a fetal position trying to protect my stomach from the constant blows that shocked my body. I looked away as I felt a blow to my back, and then another, then another.
I was on the floor and the man who was viciously attacking me began to stomp on my back. As I held my belly, I turned and tried to crawl away. He grabbed me by the legs and dragged me near him where he kicked me again. I turned to my side covering my stomach with my hands. I looked up and saw his piercing dark black eyes staring at me through his black ski mask. I tried to kick him as hard as I could with my feet, hovering over my stomach to protect my baby. The front door was kicked in, someone lunged at my attacker, and he fell back towards the couch. I heard him yell,
