Falling In Love With Her Husband

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  Chapter Four

  Ann’s Point of View

  Wednesday after school, I started getting ready for the dance. I wanted to wear the nice emerald dress, but my mother insisted I wear the pink one.

  “But it’s so tight,” I argued. “I can hardly breathe in it.”

  “I know it’s uncomfortable, but it is your best dress. Discomfort is a small price to pay for beauty, my dear. Besides, you don’t want Rebecca showing up in a more expensive dress.”

  I sighed as Ginny pulled on the strings of my corset. I almost passed out when she was done.

  “You will be nice to Todd tonight, won’t you dear?” My mother handed the dress to Ginny who put it on me.

  “Yes, I promise.” I winced as Ginny fastened the many buttons up the back of the dress. “I might faint though.”

  “Once you are married, you may relax your dress code. I want to be sure you find a suitable bachelor.”

  I nodded. I already knew who would make a good husband. Someone who wanted what was best for me. Someone who loved me and not my family’s money. Someone dependable. Someone I could trust. Someone like Todd. My parents were right, and it was time I listened to them.

  I looked up at the mirror. This was it. I’d come too far to back out now. I slipped on the pink gloves and hat to complete the outfit.

  I left my bedroom when the doorbell chimed. Todd was here. In the hallway, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror one last time. No one would guess my sudden plan. I would ask Todd to take me with him when he went to North Dakota.

  “Here’s your fan, for when you feel hot at the dance.” My mother handed the white lace fan to me. “Now, our servants are taking the rest of the night off, and your father and I will be visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Brothers at the Clemmens’ house. We should be back shortly before midnight. Mr. and Mrs. Carson will be chaperoning the dance. If you should need anything, go to them.”

  “Does that include smelling salts?”

  “Yes, it does. A lot of ladies feel faint after dancing.”

  “Very well. Thank you, Mother.”

  George opened the door and let Todd into the parlor where he waited for me. I wanted to take a deep breath, but my dress prohibited the simple action. My mother wished me well and left me alone. Well, I was as alone as possible with George standing to the side of the parlor room.

  Todd held a bouquet of red roses. His blond hair was neatly combed back under his gray hat. It was a strange contrast to his black suit and gray tie. He was not bad looking. In fact, one might consider him to be handsome. I wondered how his appearance would change once he started farming.

  “Good evening, Ann,” he said, smiling at the sight of me.

  “Good evening.”

  He motioned to the roses. “These are for you.”

  I nodded and took them. “Thank you. They’re lovely.”

  After I put them in a vase, we left for the dance. Once he sat next to me in the double buggy, I asked, “Aren’t you going to miss all of the comforts we’re used to?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not sure. Perhaps I will. Perhaps I won’t. I won’t know until I’m gone.”

  I fanned myself. This dress was already making me feel unbearably hot. The material was too thick for the warm spring weather.

  We arrived at the dance, and he helped me out of the buggy. The horse neighed but I barely noticed it. Instead, I heard Rebecca’s familiar cackle. I groaned. Must she let the entire town know she won?

  I braced myself for seeing Kent and Rebecca as Todd escorted me into the building. Thankfully, he led me to the opposite side of the room from the two lovebirds. We danced to two songs. We discussed our classes, how warm the air was getting and what Agnes was up to that night since she wasn’t allowed to go to dances until next year. At the end of the second song, I thought I was going to pass out.

  I waved my fan furiously back and forth, but the building was so hot that it did little to cool me off. “I need to sit down.”

  “Would you like to go outside?”

  His concern surprised me. It wasn’t something I was used to.

  “Yes,” I admitted.

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “That would be nice. Thank you.” I walked outside, walking numbly past Kent and Rebecca who were dancing. Don’t look at them. Just keep going. Once I was outside, I exhaled as much as I could, considering the tight dress, and sat down. The cool evening breeze felt good against my flushed face.

  When Todd handed me a cup of punch, I glanced around us. No one was near us on the veranda, so it would be easy to have a private conversation.

  “Will you please sit?”

  He sat by me and looked at me. “What is it? Are you feeling ill?”

  “I feel fine.” Well, that was partly true. I was about to take a giant leap that would change my life forever. How could a person remain calm during that? I cleared my throat. “I have a request.”

  “I would do anything for you,” he softly replied, looking down at the ground.

  I hesitated. He meant those words. I almost decided against my plan, but another round of laughter from Rebecca strengthened my resolve. “Will you marry me and take me with you to North Dakota?” I blurted the words out so fast my head was spinning. I anxiously waved the fan as I waited for his response. I couldn’t bring myself to drink the punch, so I just held it, hoping I wouldn’t spill it since my hand was beginning to shake.

  His head shot up and he looked at me, shocked. “I must be dreaming,” he whispered.

  I sat still, not daring to speak another word. I figured since he loved me, he would agree to my request. However, his response surprised me.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea. As much as I would love to take you with me, you would be doing it for the wrong reason.”

  “You love me. You will treat me well.”

  “But you will be doing this to get away from Kent and Rebecca. It wouldn’t be right.”

  Panic flashed through me. “Why couldn’t I learn to love you? Just because you’ve loved me first, it doesn’t mean I won’t come around to loving you.”

  “You love Kent.”

  “Now. But that can change.” Couldn’t it? Was I destined to love Kent for the rest of my life?

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ann. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”

  I set the cup down before I smashed it on the ground in frustration. “It wouldn’t be appropriate. It wouldn’t be proper. God forbid I should do anything that defies the standards we are to live by. I’m sick and tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. No one bothers to ask me what my opinion is, except for you.” I waved the fan faster. My face was heating up as my anger surfaced. I managed to keep my voice down, but my agitation was apparent. Hopefully, people would assume it was because of Kent and Rebecca. “I hate being stuck. I hate having to watch those two.” I nodded to the lovebirds. Again, Rebecca laughed. Ugg! “And if I hear her laugh one more time, I’m going to pour this cup of punch on her head.”

  “Ann, calm down. It will get easier.”

  I grunted. “You have no idea what it’s like for me, Todd. There are things I want to do, things I want to pursue. But I can’t because I’m a lady. I have to attend every social function and learn to be a proper hostess. I have to walk, talk and act delicately. I can’t go outside unless I have a parasol or hat. I have to go to dinners I don’t want to go to. I have to spend hours shopping for new clothes.” I paused. “Well, that part isn’t so bad.”

  He chuckled.

  I tried not to give into my own urge to laugh. “Seriously though. My parents are more lenient than other parents, but I do have a set of rules I have to obey. You’re getting out of here. You can do that because you’re a man. A woman going out West by herself is impossible.”

  “I have a plan,” he gently reminded me.

  “And I have a strong desire to be somewhere else, to do something other than what I’ve been doing all my life.”


  “I wish I could help you but I can’t.”

  I jumped up and waved the fan as fast as I could. “You have the ability to take me out of here but you refuse. What good is your love if you won’t help me?” I set my jaw in firm determination as I stared at the trees in the moonlight. “I will get out of here. You’re not the only one who can do it. I’ll run away if I have to.”

  He stood up and walked over to me. He took the fan out of my hand. “Before you break it,” he explained when I started to protest. He stared at me for a long moment. “Yes, I will take you. I planned to leave the day after we graduate.”

  “Do we have to wait?” I was afraid if we waited, he wouldn’t take me with him. As it was, I was having trouble talking him into it now.

  “Graduation is in a couple weeks.”

  “Do you need to graduate to be a farmer?”

  “No.”

  “Then what’s stopping us? You’ve been planning this for a long time. Surely, you have all the stuff you need in place.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then let’s leave tonight.”

  “It’s best to be patient. We should think about it.”

  I groaned. “I’ve already thought about it, Todd. I don’t want to wait another minute.” He seemed to be searching for another excuse, so I touched his arm. “Please.”

  He closed his mouth and studied the sky for a moment. Finally, he sighed. “I can’t deny you anything. Alright. We’ll leave tonight.”

  “Good!”

  “After you tell your parents. They need to know you’re safe.”

  “I’ll leave a note.” Thankfully, the house was empty so no one would stop me.

  “It might be better if you tell them in person.”

  “If I do that, they’ll talk me out of it.” They would never let me leave Virginia, even if it was with Todd. “I need to get out of here, and I want to go with you.”

  He reluctantly complied, so we managed to leave the dance while no one noticed.

  Chapter Five

  Ann’s Point of View

  Our departure was rushed, so I left many things behind. There wasn’t much room in the horse-drawn covered wagon he had purchased. He already had his supplies loaded into the back, so all he had to do was hook up his two horses. Since he didn’t have to go into his house, he had an easier time avoiding unwanted eyes than I did.

  I was relieved my house was empty and quickly packed my carpetbag. I tried to take sensible clothing. At least, the dresses would fit better so I could breathe adequately. I didn’t dare change my dress, though I desperately wanted to. I was afraid if I hesitated, then Todd would change his mind and leave me here. I wrote my parents a note to let them know I was marrying Todd and going with him to North Dakota. I decided not to tell them where I was going to be in North Dakota. I took a moment to look around the parlor and wiped the tears from my eyes. I uttered a prayer for my parents and left the house.

  He stood outside the front door. “It’s not too late to turn back.”

  My stomach tensed. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “Of course I do, but it’s not about what I want.”

  I handed him the carpetbag. “I’m going with you.”

  He nodded.

  I followed him to the wagon and waited for him to load my carpetbag in with his other belongings before he assisted me onto the wagon seat.

  Some people marry for love, some for money, and some are forced into it. I married Todd because I was afraid if I didn’t, then I would have to settle for someone who wouldn’t treat me as well as he did. I was wrong about Kent. I had thought he was the right one for me. My parents had warned me about him. They also recommended Todd. So, in the end, I decided to trust their judgment. Maybe it was a selfish reason, but I was afraid I’d give up the best husband I could have.

  We stopped by our minister’s house, and fortunately he was there so we didn’t have to go find another one. We did want the minister we grew up with to marry us. During the simple ceremony, I thought about my parents’ dream for me to have an elaborate wedding with lots of guests, food and music. The only person to witness the event was his wife. There was no food or music. The minister did question us about our decision, but since we had reached the age of accountability, he agreed to marry us.

  Once we were married, we thanked the minister and headed out of Virginia. Todd’s cautious nature made me anxious, for I feared our parents would find us and make us return. I kept looking behind us, only reassured that we were safe when I didn’t see any lanterns in the distance.

  “I’ve been mapping out a trail to North Dakota for months,” he assured me when he noticed my distress. “Someone who hasn’t studied the trails will get lost.”

  Still, I couldn’t relax, especially when he stopped to let the horses take a break.

  “Do we have to stop now?” I wondered, fiddling with the white lace on the sleeve of my dress.

  “They need to rest for a few moments. They have a long journey ahead of them. We don’t want to wear them out.” He hopped off the wagon, untied his horses and led them to the stream so they could drink the water. Afterwards, he fed them some carrots.

  I wondered what time it was as I stared at the full moon. It really was a beautiful sight. Why hadn’t I noticed it before?

  When he hooked the horses up and sat next to me, I asked, “What if our parents do find us?”

  He paused for a moment. “Then we were meant to stay in Virginia.”

  I frowned. Why did we have to rely on horses for transportation when trains were much more practical?

  “Are you cold?” he asked.

  “Actually, I am.”

  He grabbed a blanket from behind the seat and wrapped it around my shoulders.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, pleased by his concern.

  He stared at me, as if he wished to say or do something. Suddenly, I felt strange. We were married now. How would things change between us?

  The moment passed, for he must have decided against whatever thought raced through his head. I chose not to ask what he wanted. Instead I closed my eyes. We didn’t say much that night as we traveled. It seemed that words weren’t necessary. I was actually comfortable in the silence we shared. Eventually, I went back into the wagon and fell asleep.

  ***

  Todd didn’t sleep that night. He made frequent stops so the horses could rest. I slept through most of the night, which proved my mother correct when she once commented that I could sleep through anything. By the time dawn arrived, I woke up. My back and neck were stiff. I never experienced such discomfort before and asked Todd if it was normal. He assured me it was and stopped the horses so I could stretch and walk around in order to loosen my tight muscles.

  When we were ready to ride again, he handed me food called jerky. “It won’t last us all the way to North Dakota but it’s suitable for now.”

  That was the first cold and tough meal I ever ate, but I was so hungry that it tasted better than the meals I was used to.

  By mid-day, my dress became unbearable. I asked him to stop so I could change into one of my more comfortable dresses. He stopped so I could do so. I took one of my other dresses out of my carpetbag and went behind some bushes to change. In all my years of wearing dresses, I had never dressed myself. Ginny had done that for me. I stood, surrounded by bushes, wondering how I was going to get my pink dress off. There were so many buttons in the back and most of them were out of my reach. I hated to ask Todd for help but seemed to have no other choice.

  I peeked through the bushes. He wasn’t at the wagon. When I saw the horses weren’t there either, I knew I would have to wait until he returned with them. I sighed. I wasn’t used to waiting. I paced back and forth, anxious for the horses to be done drinking and eating.

  I really needed to learn patience. At home, the servants met my every desire immediately. How did someone learn to wait and like it? As I turned to pace in the other direction, something moved on the ground. A s
nake! I tried to scream but couldn’t find my voice. I stumbled backwards and fell on my rear end. My hat flew off my head and I heard my dress tear in the side. The snake, more frightened of me than I was of him, slithered out of the bushes. I took a deep breath, relieved it hadn’t been poisonous.

  I stood up to examine the tear in my dress. This was the only pretty dress I had taken with me, and I had no idea how I could repair the damage. I wiped the tear that fell on my cheek and frowned when I realized I had dirt on my hands. I didn’t have to look down at my dress to know it was dirty as well. I quickly wiped my hands and cheek on the clean part of my dress.

  I decided I wouldn’t tell Todd how hard and confusing this new life was for me in case he decided I couldn’t handle it and took me back to my parents. I would rather roll around in the mud than face Kent and Rebecca. I forced back my tears and ripped the dress and six out of eight petticoats off of me. I was tired of being hot and sweaty. I could handle two petticoats much better than the mountain of eight of them. Besides, no one could tell how many I wore anyway.

  My sudden determination prompted me to put on my other dress. I couldn’t button some of the top buttons, so I decided it was time to get Todd’s help. I peered out of the bushes and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him hitching up the horses. As soon as he was done, I called out his name. Even though no one was around us for miles, I couldn’t go out into the open without all of the buttons fastened.

  He walked to me, careful to keep his eyes on my face. I blushed, grateful for his consideration.

  “I can’t button my top buttons in the back of this dress. Can you help me?”

  He nodded shyly. I smiled to myself as I felt his hands tremble as he fastened the rest of the buttons. It was a relief to know I wasn’t the only one who was nervous. When he was done, he spotted the torn and dirty dress and petticoats on the ground next to my hat.

  “Have some problems?” he grinned good-naturedly.

  My face flushed hot from embarrassment. “I didn’t like that dress anyway,” I lied as I picked them up.