Heartburn

by M. C. Cerny

  Feeling miffed that she brushed me off; I gave the dirt near the fire a good kick, sending a rock into the center and ashes billowing upward. It wasn’t fair. It sucked, but she was right, what hold did I possibly have on her? She had a life completely separate from mine and was still in school. I was the older guy she could tell all her friends about who gave her a good fucking in a dirty little cabin in the woods. She got to play out her bad girl fantasies and I got to ride her bare filling her up with my spunk.

  Our naughty secret would be whispered at parties over wine.

  She’d probably graduate, move back to the hustle of the city, and marry some boring ass banker with a small dick. Part of me hoped she would. I’d haunt her dreams as she fondly recalled how we appreciated each other’s bodies while her banker rutted away making his nightly deposit. It served her right if she cared more about what her friends thought and I didn’t fit into her life beyond today. If she wanted to act like a sexually liberated independent woman, fine. I was all for that, I just didn’t appreciate being strung along. To her, I was just some itch to scratch and I didn’t like feeling used.

  That was a first for me.

  I wasn’t someone’s brush off. I had a standing agreement with a hippie chick in town if I wanted to fuck around. I didn’t need or want her stroking my ego, if I wanted something stroked I could go visit my friend at Dingleberries who was more than happy to oblige with no messy strings attached and silly expectations. Callista was good like that until she wanted to switch out my boxer briefs with organic cotton and detergent that smelled like sage. It had been a good four months despite Callista’s constant invitations to come over. Trouble was, I didn’t think that was going to work as well as it used to. Not since a brat wearing Goth plaid and purple hair twisted me up and made me rethink my stance on relationships in general.

  It definitely turned the tables on me and how I’d treated women in the past. Don’t get me wrong, I’d always been respectful, but I never realized what it might be like to be someone else’s one night stand and quickly forgotten. Certainly puts a man in his place, at least for me.

  I groaned out loud watching them drive away. I turned to my jeep and abused the tire with a swift kick that had my toe jamming a second time in the boot before hopping inside. Guess I’d have to satisfy myself with more episodes of GOT and cold beers from my buddy Andy’s pub.

  11

  Lia

  “Dude that ranger was a dick.” Conner complained, a smirk on his face like he got away with something he shouldn’t have. I always knew he was the idiot of the group, but blaming Whit because he was breaking the park rules was stupid. I reached from the backseat to smack him in the back of the head. I missed as he ducked forward and my hand smarted hitting the seat instead.

  “Oww, you fucker.” I muttered shaking out my hand. I waited for him to move back and took another try wincing as I made contact this time. Damn Neanderthal had a head harder than a bag of bricks.

  Ryder regarded me. A question puckered his brow while his hand tangled with Dinah’s in some secret and illicit grip. “What’s up with that Lia?”

  I couldn’t believe he was annoyed with me. Nobody asked them to stay and find me and he had the nerve to ask me what was wrong. The urge to smack him made my fingers burn and twitch. Dinah leaned over him and patted my leg placating me. I left camp because of his cavalier attitude. I left camp because she broke the code between roommates. I left camp because no one wants to feel like the third wheel. It was his fault as much as it was Dinah’s, and it was my fault I got lost and let my emotions rule my direction, but those two didn’t have to be jerks about it either.

  “Whit hiked out into the woods during a storm and found me. I don’t think you should be calling him a dick.”

  “Still a dick.” Mateo chuckled sounding like a choking hyena and swerving on the road.

  “Definitely a dick, bro.” Connor fist pumped Mateo and I rolled my eyes. Had I really sunk so low in the friend food chain?

  “Mateo, watch the road.” Ryder snapped shifting in his seat. I don’t know why he didn’t drive his own damn vehicle.

  “Besides he didn’t ticket you for the illegal campfire, or the alcohol, or the pot.” I wasn’t entirely clear with myself who I was mad at, but it wasn’t Whit, and if anyone was going to call him a dick, shouldn’t it be me since I saw it up close and personal?

  Okay.

  Maybe I had hoped after our hot love shack sex fest he would have given me his number or something, but instead he texted his boss, brought me back to my friends and then walked away. Every guy walked away from me and that hurt. I took a mental inventory of what was wrong with me. Wasn’t I pretty enough? Smart enough? Just good enough to get to know beyond a one night stand? What karma fruit had I plucked from the tree of right to land in such a cesspool for relationships? I brushed a frustrated tear from my cheek and stared out the window wishing this ride back to town was quicker down the mountain.

  “So was he like MacGyver when he found you?” Mateo turned back to look at me and all eyes zeroed in. Whit kept me from getting hypothermia and saved my life, but he didn’t need to trach me with a ballpoint pen and some duct tape.

  “Drive!” Ryder shouted and Mateo slunk back around his seat to concentrate on the one job he had.

  Dinah squirmed turning back to me, “Ooh did he have any duct tape or a big knife? Did he have to make a tourniquet?”

  “What? No, Dinah. I wasn’t injured.” I wasn’t sure she even knew what a tourniquet actually was. We weren’t building a rocket or a radio. We survived a night in the woods. He was better than some fictional character on television with a PhD in duct tape and a hundred uses for a ballpoint pen.

  “That’s too bad. I bet he could have made one of those stretchers out of sticks and dragged you out toward safety.” Mateo tapped his chin and I imagined the hamster inside his head falling off the wheel exhausted with his own stupidity. Luckily he kept quiet and drove as instructed chauffeuring us back to town.

  “Bet that dude has a troop of his own.” Connor glanced up in the mirror giving me a smirk.

  “You mean a boy scout?” Ryder looked bored and I had no clue why he was even friends with the two numb-nuts up front except that they all played on the same team.

  “Are you sure we should let them drive?” Elbowing Ryder he looked at me and shrugged as if to say I should drive if I didn’t like it.

  Answering their questions seemed the only way to make the drive into town happen faster. “If you’re asking if duct tape was involved in my rescue, no. But he did hike us to this cabin in the woods out of the rain.”

  Slapping his navigator in the chest, Mateo spoke sounding like a bad nineties cartoon. “Bro, we should try to find it and have a party in the woods.”

  “Fire, fire, fire.” Connor chanted and I bounced my head back on the headrest blocking out the IQ drain up front.

  “How about you don’t because that dick ranger could have you arrested for breaking park rules.” Rolling my eyes, my arms crossed over my chest hoping to keep any chill out of my bones this morning. I couldn’t seem to get warm since Whit and I separated this morning, the distance increasing with each step closer to the campsite and his jeep.

  “Easy, Amelia. Connor was just talking out of his ass, right Conner?” Ryder’s tone brooked no argument and Connor grunted. “You know coach will kill you if you guys get arrested before we lock down the season.” Sure because the only thing standing between right and wrong for these guys was a shot at playing pro-ball with the scouts and coaches up their asses.

  We drove back to campus and the guys dropped Dinah and me off at our apartment. They had practice and I had the rest of the day to get myself sorted out before class tomorrow. I had a headache and the hot shower I took hadn’t helped much, my luck I’d catch a cold before class.

  I lay on my bed dozing off when my reprieve was short lived with my phone ringing the theme music to Phantom of the Opera. The 212 area code was a de
ad giveaway.

  “Hey mom, what’s up?”

  “Amelia Rae, what’s the meaning of this class schedule? Photography? Religion of the Worlds? Your father and I don’t pay for this liberal shit.”

  I got up feeling fevered with anger pacing my apartment back and forth. So much for the chill, I was definitely getting sick. Last thing I wanted to do was visit the campus clinic if I could avoid it.

  I coughed.

  “Oh, um, actually you do. Those are electives I have to take before I get into my major.” Not a total lie, but close enough. Everyone had to take a religion course at some point and I figured that was easier than rocks for jocks, a geology course that took hikes in the woods. You know, because I loved the woods so much and things panned out so well for me this weekend.

  “Hmmph.” Mom sounded unconvinced and there was nothing more discouraging than being told I wasn’t meeting her expectations. I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t know how to get there under her stifling watch. This was why I took a big risk convincing my dad to get her to say yes. Otherwise, I’d be back home laying on my bed just like now even more depressed over the fact that nothing I did was ever good enough attending City College. I wasn’t like my sister. I didn’t have the fortitude to let mom primp me and parade me in front of eligible guys my age she knew from the neighborhood. I never would be and I thought being at least two hours away would help.

  Clearly it hasn’t.

  There’s a fancy camera sitting on my desk still inside it’s box. I thought a photography seminar would be fun with all the out of class assignments taking photos on campus. Anything to get out of sitting at a desk nine to five. My mother owned her own medical billing company and my dad was a physician’s assistant. They were not the easiest of people to please and I was mentally worn trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I was barely here and hadn’t even had a chance to explore anything outside of my apartment on Main Street, New Paltz and a cabin in the woods.

  “Mom, does it matter as long as I get good grades and a degree.” I went over to my desk and used my nail to open the edges of the box. I slid the top off and smiled pulling out the camera I had no idea how to use. My dad always got the top of the line model of things and this camera was no different. I felt like a fool trying to manipulate the shutter settings so I put it back down carefully. I could start to figure it out in class tomorrow.

  “I don’t want you running around up there.” If she only knew how I spent my weekend she would be appalled in true mom fashion.

  “No worries on that end. You know I hate anything related to bugs and sunshine.”

  “Very funny Amelia Rae.” I know she means boys and trouble but I don’t bother to inform her differently. I had more than enough of that this weekend.

  “I think I’m getting a cold mom, I’m going to hit up the drug store for some stuff and go to bed early.”

  “Go to the clinic on campus if you have to, don’t wait. You remember that time in high school?” How could I forget. I was sick with walking pneumonia for weeks because I hid it well and refused to get checked out despite having a physician’s assistant for a dad. I hated needles and had this thing about hospital smells since my Aunt died. However, mom made a valid point even if I didn’t want to admit it.

  “I’ll call you later.”

  “Feel better honey, and take some real classes.” Mom made her signature kissy sounds on the phone and I hung up flinging myself back on my bed.

  No wonder I felt like a failure as an adult. Mom acted like I was five and dad merely responded with an exasperated, “do what makes you happy speech.” Too bad I had no idea what that consisted of.

  12

  Whit

  The ache I felt in my chest didn’t make sense as I sat inside Easton’s peeling a label off my beer bottle. It was a little too much like a Sheryl Crow song and if anyone knew how much I was missing my purple haired girl I’d be turning over my man card to my friends.

  I let the paper curl and roll out between my fingertips looking at the label of craft beer made by my two friends and brothers who owned the bar, Andy and David Easton. They bought their dad out when he decided to retire to Florida with their mom, and were trying their hand pretty successfully as pub owners. Andy was studying to be a master brewer. I thought he drank beer all day, but apparently there’s a lot more involved. Rumor had them remodeling the place in the future to fit the younger changing crowd of the town and I hoped at least in part much of the place would remain the same. Sadly, the crowd continued to get younger while I continued to get older. At least Easton’s remained iconic.

  Tonight was the first night I had off from my rotating schedule in a while and I waited for Hunter and Damien to show up for moral support. If I was being truthful, Hunter would listen and give me a one liner of wisdom that I should, but wouldn’t follow. Damien would say something completely, off the cuff that made absolutely no sense sober, but later tonight when I was drunk it would be like the sun shining brightly during an eclipse. I hated how he was wise like Buddha until it punched me in the face later.

  “You plan on having a long night Smokey Bear?” Remi Kennedy switched out my half-finished warm beer for a new ice cold one making me smile. I thanked Remi, who bounced away as her long ponytail of red curls followed. Andy looked up nodding at me as he continued to wipe down the opposite end of the bar. Obviously the new beer was his doing and I tipped the bottle in his direction.

  It wasn’t my place to get into Andy and David’s business. Sometimes she’d practically sneak up on you with her stealthy rounds refilling your drinks before you even realized you’d finished it. I’m pretty sure her attention to customer service is what had Andy and David hiring her the moment she showed up for a job.

  Remi was a pretty little college student who worked as a regular barmaid at Easton’s. Andy swore she was twenty-one but her timid demeanor and elfin green eyes made me question how much digging the brothers did into her pre-employment history and background. It didn’t help that her long bright red hair, freckles that stood out in the dark and twig thin frame attracted every guy in here. David growled and scared most of them off even though I was positive he hadn’t touched her either.

  Remi just wasn’t the type of girl who drew my interest. Something about her screamed way to young checking off all the boxes. It didn’t help my current predicament that her age reminded me more of Lia who I was determined to push out of my mind.

  “Sure I can’t scrounge up something from the kitchen for ya?” Her twang had me grinning and shaking my head.

  “I’m just waiting for the guys.” I assured Remi by lifting the beer in her direction with thanks. She stood her ground and tsked at me.

  “Really? Cause it looks like you’re drowning your sorrows there on an empty stomach.” On top of her smart mouth and keen observation, she boasted the softest southern accent I’d ever heard. Maybe the guys hired her for the novelty and I reminded myself their business wasn’t any of mine.

  Let it go, Whit.

  I laughed because she was right. “What are you doing working in a place like this, smarty pants.” She shrugged her shoulders letting her eyes half close over her mossy green orbs that saw way too much inside my head. Soft looks like that made her appear younger than her claim of twenty-one, and I wondered if she was even legal to serve alcohol. I figured Andy would know and if not then David could hack the information and I let it pass.

  Remi wiped down the bar answering my question.

  “Saving up to finish school. I can only take a few classes at a time.”

  “You’ll get there, Remi.” And I knew she would. You could tell she was a smart and determined girl. I’d leave her nice a tip and hope it went toward book money for school and not the cheap wine girls usually drank at the campsites I would roll up on and write tickets for.

  “Yeah, and in the meantime, I’ll be giving you free advice, hmm?” Her fingers tapped the bar making her point.

&
nbsp; “Anytime Remington, besides I leave you good tips for anything you might say.” I winked drinking my beer.

  “Quid pro quo.” Muttering she blushed walking away and I told myself if I was a good ten years younger I might have ignored the whole not my type argument and asked her out anyway.

  “Of course,” I flashed her a naughty look and earned myself a grunt from Andy who continued to hang around watching the girl like a hawk.

  He walked over to me as he spoke to her. “Remi can you see if Agatha needs help in her section, sweetheart?” Andy waited until Remi left the bar area before leaning over the counter near me. “Don’t flirt with her Whit. We’ve been friends a long time and I’d hate to have to ask you to leave.”

  “Aww come on, man.” I brushed him off like it was a big joke but my friend wasn’t kidding. Andy glared and I let that go too. Something was afoot in Easton’s and I was steering clear of that drama.

  The door from the street opened up and together we observed the entire University football team roll in hooting and hollering like wild animals. So much for a beer in peace the old man trapped inside me groused. Remi rushed over to serve them and disappointment filled me hoping the girl knew what she was doing hanging out with that crowd. Particularly one douchey star quarterback who I noticed eye fucking her from across the room. I bet he’d leave crappy tips too.

  Ryder West had his arm around a girl who didn’t look like Lia’s roommate Dinah. His eyes seemed to be sizing up Remi and I didn’t like it. I should have told her something like don’t let’em have the milk for free, but then I would actually sound like the old man taking up residence in my body. I scanned across the bar watching Andy toss his rag down watching the whole scene. He didn’t look particularly pleased either to see Remi scurry over there a tad too eager to take their orders.