A Merry Little [Hat Trick] Christmas

by Samantha Wayland

  Rhian looked up at her and she watched his eyes fill with tears. It felt like a steel band was cinching around her chest.

  “Because no one can know. And I get why, I know that this baby, and any others we have, will have to be seen by the world as yours and Garrick’s. I get that it’s important that no one at work know about us. I can’t…I can’t be the one to bring my baby to the holiday party or family skate. That your job depends on it. I understand all the reasons, but all I can think about is what it means, you know? It means that there will be times they shouldn’t call me Dad. Or Poppa.” Rhian’s voice cracked hard on poppa and he swallowed hard. “We’ll have to raise our children to know that I’m one name at home and another everywhere else. How can we ask a little baby to do that? I don’t want them to have to lie. The way I always, always have to lie.”

  Savannah wiped at the tears streaming down her face. She was ashamed of herself for thinking Rhian didn’t want the baby. Or that he was afraid of becoming a parent and that was what was freaking him out so bad. She should have known that all he was thinking about was the baby, and how to be the best parent he possibly could.

  “Do you know why I like Christmas so much?” Rhian asked, out of nowhere.

  Savannah thought about the answer and realized she didn’t. She could tell from Garrick’s expression that he didn’t either. In fact, now that she thought about it, she was pretty sure Rhian had hated it until the last few years.

  “It’s because of our families. Christmas is the one time of year I’m sure we’re going to see a ton of family. Mine, both of yours. And they all know. They know the truth, and while it still weirds some of them out,” he added, jostling Garrick with his elbow, “we can be ourselves. We don’t have to pretend. I can be in love with both of you, and you can be in love with me, and it’s not just when we’re alone in this house.”

  Savannah felt like someone had just kicked her in the chest.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, not sure which of the many things she owed him an apology for she was trying to cover.

  “It’s not your fault. Not any more than it’s any of our faults. It’s just…the way it is. And I’ve been trying, for a while now, to wrap my head around it. The fact that this is the way it has to be, but it’s kind of killing me, too, you know? I love you. I love your families, and my family, and our family—which is not something I thought I would ever be able to say—and I can’t acknowledge any of them, let alone tell everyone how fucking awesome it is to love and be loved by these amazing people.”

  Savannah smiled through her tears, because it was fucking awesome.

  “So, that’s what’s been eating at me, I guess,” Rhian said, his voice hoarse and low. “And I’m trying to get through it, to accept what needs to be accepted, but it’s fucking hard.”

  Garrick shook his head, like maybe he couldn’t accept it either. “Yeah. This is…this is a lot.”

  “It is,” Rhian said grimly. “It’s really a lot. And then at lunch today Jean-Michel asked me why my apartment was empty, because he apparently stopped by the other day. And I forced out another lie, but it was weak, and then I ran.”

  Savannah’s heart lurched and she traded a quick look with Garrick.

  “And Seamus basically insisted that I invite the guys to his holiday party, but that means more lies, you know? Now I can’t just tuck myself in a corner surrounded by our family and be myself and be honest. Instead, I have to hang out with friends who think I’m some kind of fucking homeless orphan or something, and pretend Seamus is just my friend, and Chelsea is his granddaughter, not my sister. With the guys there, I’ll have to avoid her or they’ll think I’m hitting on her. You know that, right? People already think that and it makes me sick, but if it’s just strangers, who cares? But I can’t deal with that from the guys. I can’t. And I can’t tell them the truth.”

  “Why can’t you?” Savannah asked.

  “About Seamus? About my family? You know Seamus doesn’t want that. If it got out, he’d have to acknowledge that his daughter…that his daughter, my biological mother, abandoned a baby. The whole sordid story would come out, and then maybe that guy who Chelsea thinks is my dad will figure shit out, and the press, and…”

  “Do you really care about all that?” Garrick asked.

  “I don’t, but I know Seamus does.”

  “How would you feel if Seamus did acknowledge you? If you could call him Grandfather in public? I had sort of thought you weren’t interested in that getting out, either.”

  “No, you’re right. I didn’t want to tell people. Not at first. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, and realized now I wouldn’t mind.” Rhian smiled, such a sad wistful twist of lips that Savannah felt more tears stinging her already aching eyes. “Actually, I think it would be cool,” Rhian added quietly, “to be able to call them family in public. To invite Seamus to the fathers’ events with the team and stuff.”

  Savannah exchanged a look with Garrick—one that promised another conversation later. One where they could both berate themselves for so thoroughly missing something so massively important.

  The Seamus thing, though, wasn’t up to them to fix. But there was another part of this they could help with. And Savannah knew that was really all down to her.

  “What about the guys?” she asked, glancing at Garrick to see his eyebrows go up. She nodded to tell him she was sure.

  Well, she was mostly sure.

  Fuck, this was going to be a huge risk. But when she looked back at Rhian, it felt worth it. Terrifying, but worth it.

  “What about the guys?” Rhian asked back.

  “You could tell them the truth.”

  “About Seamus and Chelsea?”

  “No. Well, yes. I think they would keep it to themselves. But also about us.”

  Rhian’s mouth dropped open. He sat staring up at her blankly.

  It took a long, long time for him to close his mouth, and even then, all he managed to say was, “What?”

  Garrick looked between Rhian and Savannah. It felt like they were teetering on the edge of a cliff. A cliff that apparently they’d been crawling steadily towards for years, but had accelerated to an all-out run with this pregnancy.

  In hindsight, it had been really fucking stupid of all three of them not to figure out this would happen.

  He watched them closely, trying to gauge how freaked out Savannah was about making this offer, and how likely Rhian was to accept it. Garrick, for his part, didn’t know what to think.

  The truth was, Savannah was the only female head trainer in the entire league. In almost any men’s professional league, for that matter, in any sport. She’d been doing nothing but sterling work since coming to Boston, and her reputation among players and management was as a hard-ass workaholic. More importantly, though, the players trusted her. More than the doctors, management, their agents. The players came to her, mostly about stuff to do with training but sometimes with other stuff, to talk shit out with her before they made a move.

  She was already worried about how management was going to deal with the pregnancy, since it was an issue they were almost entirely unfamiliar with outside the administrative side of the business. The whole world finding out that Savannah was in love and having a baby with two men, one of whom was a player on her team, would be a disaster. At best, management would make her life miserable until she quit. At worst, she could be harassed by players, management, and the press alike, or fired, and Rhian could get traded to the other side of the continent.

  Now, she wasn’t talking about telling the whole world. But she was talking about telling three people who were not only not members of this family, but were also teammates of Rhian’s, and Savannah’s responsibility in many ways.

  “We can’t,” Rhian said at last, and Garrick tried hard not to feel relief.

  “We could,” Savannah offered with remarkable speed.

  “No.” Rhian shook his head. “They’re not just my friends, they’re b
oth of our coworkers. I can’t put you at risk like that.”

  “I’m putting me at risk like that. I’m saying you should do it.”

  Rhian looked to Garrick for help, but he was staying out of this. His job was clear—support them both, no matter how this shook out. He could give advice, but they both knew their own minds, and the personalities involved, far better than he, and it wasn’t his career on the line. He was the perfectly happy part owner of a minor league hockey team in Canada, and since one of the other owners, Savannah’s brother Callum, had married Rupert, the team’s manager, in one of the most public and widely reported weddings in the past year, it wasn’t like the world finding out about Garrick was going to blow the doors off the arena.

  Which didn’t mean Garrick wasn’t terrified, of course, but he also understood, after hearing what Rhian had told them, why it was worth the risk. It was absolutely worth the risk…if Savannah was okay with it.

  Rhian took both of Savannah’s hands in his. “Do you really trust them that much?”

  “Yes,” she said, but Garrick had caught the hesitation.

  So had Rhian. “You don’t.”

  “No, I do. It’s just…” Savannah frowned and looked up at the ceiling for a second. “Okay, how about this? I absolutely trust Henri. No questions, no doubts. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s known for weeks that I’m pregnant and he hasn’t said a word to me or anyone else. So, what if you start there?”

  “He’s married,” Garrick pointed out. “Do we trust his wife? Because it’s not fair to tell him something he can’t tell her.”

  “Yeah, Lisa is cool,” Savannah said with a nod. “She’s been dragged through this league for years and I’ve never heard her say a word about anyone or anything, not even when we had both had a couple too many at last year’s holiday party. She’s probably got shit locked in her vault that would shock us all.”

  “What a terrifying thought,” Rhian said.

  “So, we agree? Henri? As a start?” Savannah said.

  Rhian studied Savannah’s face, every shift of expression, for a long time. When he couldn’t detect anything but sincerity, even if there was a tinge of nerves, he looked to Garrick, who nodded encouragingly.

  “Okay,” Rhian said, his heart beating hard. “I’d like to do it here, if that’s okay with you guys. I’d like you to be with me.”

  “Sure,” Garrick said easily. “I know we were going to spend tomorrow morning being slobs around the house, but how about we have Henri over for breakfast? I don’t think we should drag this out.”

  “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Savannah said. “Band-Aid approach is good.”

  Rhian frowned at the analogy, but he couldn’t find fault with it. This was going to be riding him, a constant itch under his skin until it was done and he was sure they weren’t making a catastrophic mistake.

  Though, while he was nervous about telling Henri, but he wasn’t too worried about Henri telling anyone else. He was more worried about Henri’s reaction. About Henri thinking it was weird or wrong.

  Rhian would hate to lose that friendship.

  He must have been sitting there, staring into space for too long, because Savannah patted his shoulder and pushed him back on the bed.

  “Come on. Time for pre-game naps.”

  “Naps? Plural?” Rhian asked.

  “Hell, yes,” Garrick agreed, shucking his jeans before going to work on Rhian’s and then tossing them over the footboard. “That was fucking exhausting.”

  “You’re telling me,” Savannah said as she set the alarm on her phone and set it down on the bedside table. As soon as she’d tossed off her jeans and fleece, Rhian dragged her across the bed until she was pressed to his chest.

  Garrick curled around her back and threw his arm over both of them.

  Rhian was still telling them both how much he loved them when he fell asleep.

  He woke briefly when Savannah’s alarm went off an hour later, but she told him to go back to sleep, and he did, until Garrick woke him an hour after that.

  He and Garrick had a nice pregame snack tucked close together in the breakfast nook, not really saying much. Then Rhian loaded up his gear and headed out the door. He saw one of his spare jerseys hanging in the mudroom and asked Garrick about it.

  “I’m going to go to the game tonight.”

  “Yeah?” Garrick went to a bunch of games every year, but usually they were special occasion kind of games, with an award being handed out or something. “Any reason?”

  “I just want to be close to you, I guess.”

  Rhian smiled and made sure Garrick knew what he thought of that with a long, sweet kiss.

  Chapter Ten

  On the face of things, Henri had received far stranger and more worrisome summons than the one to breakfast with Rhian this morning, but he also suspected that there were surprises in store for him yet.

  The first came when Savannah opened the door in old yoga pants and a long-sleeve t-shirt with Rhian’s name and number on it. That was…interesting. And Henri couldn’t help but wonder if that was supposed to be a hint, or if Savannah was just showing her support for Rhian.

  Garrick came out of the kitchen wearing a Give Blood, Play Hockey apron in brilliant red, a spatula in one hand and a tea towel in the other.

  “Henri,” Garrick said with an easy grin. “Can I get you a coffee? Tea? Juice?”

  Henri smiled, always pleased to hear his name pronounced correctly south of the border. “Coffee and water, if it’s not too much trouble. I could also get it myself, if you point me in the right direction.”

  “Nah, you go on through to the dining room,” Garrick said, waving the way with his spatula. “We’ll be right in.”

  Henri turned just in time to see Rhian vault down the last few stairs of the main staircase in the front hall. He’d apparently been upstairs. In his socks. And a ratty pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

  Henri thought about that for a moment, then turned back and looked at Garrick. Garrick just raised his eyebrows, as if daring Henri to ask the question.

  Henri demurred, for now, and moved toward the dining room. He was pretty sure, though, that he had an idea of what was going on. When he found himself sitting across the table from Savannah, who was slowly sipping her tea and nibbling on plain toast, Henri thought about asking her if she liked being a beard for the gay couple living in this house with her. Then he recalled the reason she might need to start the day with such a bland breakfast, and he got confused again.

  Surrogate? Or maybe he was wrong, and she wasn’t pregnant.

  Once Garrick and Rhian had carried in a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, french toast, fresh fruit and juice, and Savannah had plowed through a really impressive portion of it, he knew he was right about one thing.

  There was no way that lady wasn’t pregnant.

  The rest, though, was still a mystery. They ate, chatting companionably, and Henri was pleased to confirm that he enjoyed Savannah’s company as much or more outside the office, and that Garrick was a great guy. It even turned out that Garrick knew one of Henri’s friends from playing for McGill. It was easy, comfortable, and confusing as hell since Henri knew the reason he’d been asked over today was not to prove that Garrick was a wonderful cook or that Savannah could eat half a loaf of french toast.

  Whatever it was Rhian wanted to tell him was obviously still on Rhian’s mind, though he made no indication he was ready to say anything. He did, however, become increasingly quiet as the last of the food disappeared from their plates.

  Henri broke first.

  “Come on, kid. You can tell me anything. I’m not going to judge you.”

  Rhian stared at him, blank faced, as if this wasn’t the reason Henri was here in the first place.

  Henri backpedaled. “Or not. It’s okay, either way.”

  “No, I want to tell you something,” Rhian said suddenly.

  Henri sat back and waited.

  “I’m in love with, and in a relationship
with, both Garrick and Savannah, and I live here with them, so that’s why the apartment is empty.”

  For a long moment, Henri just digested that, because he’d thought he was pretty clever and had figured some shit out, but he hadn’t seen that one coming at all. Damn it, he was sort of disappointed in himself. Because now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense.

  He finally spoke when it looked as though Rhian was going to expire from nerves, and Garrick and Savannah were both staring at him as if they could will him, with the power of their minds alone, to be decent about this.

  There wasn’t any need for that, of course.

  Henri smiled, pitying the terror on Rhian’s face. “Relax, Rhian. It’s cool. Good for you—all three of you.” He nodded to Savannah and Garrick, who positively beamed back at him.

  “Yeah?” Rhian said, still uncertain.

  “Yeah, kid. Come on. What kind of asshole do you think I am?”

  “No, I don’t—I wouldn’t have told you if I thought that.”

  Holy shit, the kid was still wound tight about it, though. “I get it. This can’t be easy to keep under wraps.”

  Rhian shrugged, and his lovers frowned. “Only family knows, really. A few close friends,” Rhian admitted.

  That sounded rough, but Henri was also flattered. “Thank you for trusting me, then,” he said. He made sure they understood he speaking to all three of them. “Are you going to tell anyone else?”

  Rhian caught his eyes and Henri knew they were thinking about the same two idiots. Rhian looked so painfully uncertain.

  Henri sighed. “Are you worried they’ll judge you or some shit, or are you worried they’ll tell someone they shouldn’t?”

  Rhian shrugged. “Maybe a little of the first, and a bit more of the second.”

  “The first is bullshit,” Henri said firmly. “I mean really, they have no room to judge, since it’s blatantly obvious to everyone but the two of them that they’re pining for each other.”

  Garrick snorted. “How does someone not know they are pining for someone?”