Forget Me Not

by Erica Pensini

  In spite of the pungent chill of the air I could have spent hours observing her work with loving passion, but how could I motivate my prolonged presence in the square? My precious woman should not detect my presence, not for now at least. I therefore headed to my laboratory, with the hope that my work could soothe the turmoil within me. And of course, I also had a plan for the day, and plenty of discovers awaiting me! Not a single woman in this world could be more intriguing than my science: such was the thought animating my fast-paced return to the laboratory.

  Once I reached the laboratory I proceeded to arrange the flasks and the beakers for the proof of water. I was about to set up all the chemicals required for my experiment when I looked up, and my eye caught sight of a glass jar where I had stored two graceful pieces of cinnabar with a peculiar translucence and a dainty shape. And a mad thought crossed my mind. Two pieces of cinnabar…I took them and admired them from a while, holding them on my palm against the cone of light coming from the window.

  Indeed, it was a mad thought, but after setting my mind on it I could not renounce it anymore. I placed the cinnabar back into the jar, I hastily donned my coat and slipped the jar in my coat’s pocket. And out I was again, heading to a jeweller’s shop I had seen at the corner of Berzelius Street. The shope had appealed to me because of its solitary and mysterious appearance.

  Can you speculate on what my instinct was leading me to do when I decided to walk to the jeweler? If there were two pieces of cinnabar, did it not mean somehow that one should me mine, and the other one should belong to the woman whose hair was red just like the beautiful mineral from which my wondrous, manly mercury derived? There was nobody in the shop, and that was just as well because I needed calm focus to define how to valorize the precious stamina of cinnabar in jewels like nobody has seen before. I wanted the two pieces of jewelry to be unique, imaginific and refined, and worth the value of the mineral they carried within them.

  After a while the jeweler came out from the back of the shop, with a slightly arched back, a whiskery face surly with focused attention and dark blue eyes that captured the jar I was holding with rapid and competent precision. The jeweler tried to disguise his astonishment as he observed the contents of the jar.

  “May I suggest diamonds with better tones of red?”, he asked

  “This is a mineral of unparalleled value”, I replied firmly

  “Of course sir”, the jeweler conceded

  I was well aware of his skepticism, but I was willing to excuse his ignorance – if not accept it – provided that the man fulfilled my request!

  “I am here because you have the reputation of being the best jeweler in town. Respect the mineral I gave you, even if you do not comprehend its value!”, I began and the jeweler nodded, startled by the vehemence of my tone

  “I want you to make a necklace and a ring. The necklace must have a pendant, obtained by embedding the mineral in a drop of glass, perfectly transparent, as transparent as the purest water. Mind you, the perfect transparency, the watery quality, is essential! The chain is less important, but make sure it is nothing less than excellent. For the ring, encase the mineral in a piece of gold forged into the shape of a flame. The red cinnabar I am giving you must be enveloped in virile tongues of heat! Are you able to do this by tomorrow afternoon? Work all night, do whatever it takes, but complete the work soon and flawlessly!”, I concluded

  “As you wish sir”, the jeweller said

  I nodded, and walked out of the shop pondering how to meet my fabulous creature again, how to speak to her and hand her the necklace which would have the same power, elegance and fascination that she herself possessed.

  Alas, hours later I am still rolling the same question in my head, unable to do anything but imagine the moment I will give the necklace to the woman…can I make this moment happen? Will it be perfect? And…

  The words elude me.

  Alas! Alas!

  Chapter 7: Iris Luna

  This morning when I reached the lab I was sizzling with the hope that the experiments I had in mind could reveal the very soul of the mysterious gas that had formed from the reaction between Irissa Celata and water. And yet as soon as I began working I felt a disharmonic note in the air, I was inexplicably distracted and enchained a number of vexing mistakes. I kept on working nonetheless, but a disquiet feeling foamed within me till I finally paused. What was happening? I suddenly realized I had the urge to go out for a walk, and for some reason I cannot define a certain old part of the town where I hadn’t been in ages came to my mind. I decided that I would take the rest of the morning off and stroll for a bit in the delightfully decadent flavour of that area, perhaps have lunch outside and get back to work with a refreshed mind.

  It was strange how on my way I was animated by a sort of inner tingle, the sort one feels when anticipating a special encounter, although I was not to meet anyone at all. I walked smiling to myself, letting my gaze wander distractedly on the streets as my steps were drawn to that part of the city, that street, I so longed to reach. And at last I was there. Berzelius Street, read the old plaque on a building erected a couple of centuries ago. I had been here before, and this is the place I had wanted to reach, but it seemed so different from my memories, as if it had been glazed with a breeze from the past since the last time I had been there. Ah, it was certainly me and my skewed perception! I was not quite myself today. And yet…let me tell you what happened.

  As I walked along Berzelius Street I saw a solitary jeweler’s shop. The shop had an antique look to it, so antique in fact that one could picture it being dormant in time following a potent spell, with the dust in the glass window concealing unimaginable mysteries. I have never seen this place before, although clearly it must be impossible that it hadn’t been there before. How very strange…I hesitated at the entrance a moment, caught between an inexplicable sense of fear and an intense desire to penetrate the enigmatic door. And at last I walked in, irresistibly fascinated. I was alone in the dim light of the place for a while, barely able to orient myself at first. My eyes had just started getting adjusted to the light of the place when a man with a slightly arched back and a conspicuous mustache appeared from the back. He paused his dark blue eyes on me for a timeless moment with such undivided attention I asked myself if truly I was the first person he had seen in centuries.

  “How may I help you?”, he finally asked, once he appeared to satisfied with his scrutiny

  I began opening my mouth but I was speechless, since I myself was unaware of what I was looking for, and if I was looking for anything at all. As I dropped my gaze in wavering shyness I caught sight of a necklace displayed on a mannequin’s head behind the counter. The necklace had the most beautiful pendant, a drop of wondrous clarity, as transparent as water, with a mineral embedded in it…a red mineral…was it cinnabar or was I confounded about its nature? At once I knew that necklace was meant for me, it felt like a special object that had belonged to my past and that I had finally retrieved after believing it lost for years. Happiness was my first sensation, pure and full, but then a subtle melancholy snaked with in me and turned into uncontainable sadness. Why this pang of shattering pain? And why the plenitude of my joy when I first saw it?

  The man cast a deeper gaze on me.

  “Are you sure that is what you want?”, he inquired

  I nodded

  “It is not in me to change the course of destiny”, he replied, and I wondered what he meant

  I was about to ask but he placed the index on his mouth in sign of silence. Then he took the necklace and wrapped it in red paper, with slow careful moves. I stared at the movement of his long bony fingers, mesmerized. Once he finished the paper wrapping he raised his eyes on me, and for the shortest instant I saw a flash of compassion cross his gaze.

  Why? I thought, and bugged my eyes

  There was an array of ribbons in a basket on the counter, he picked the black one and completed the package.

  “How much do I owe you?”, I ask
ed when he handed it to me

  “Nothing, the necklace has already been paid for”, he replied

  “How come?”, I exclaimed, rounding my eyes in astonishment

  But instead of answering the jeweler shifted his gaze to the window, and I instinctively turned towards it. There was a man standing there, of young age and yet so old fashioned. He had a long mustache, trimmed into a pointy shape and twisted upwards. His hair was fairly long, glossy and black as charcoal, the same way his eyes were. Burning eyes, looking at my gestures with undisguised suspense…or was I imagining? There was love and anger in those eyes, and the two emotions alternated in a lacerating inner turmoil.

  Our eyes crossed for an instant, then he abruptly left, pulling up the neck of his black coat with an irritably gest, as if he could no longer take seeing my figure on the other side of the glass.

  I turned back to the jeweler.

  “Is this the man who..”, I began, without getting myself to finish

  A moment of heavy silence weighed on me, stretching itself in my disoriented mind.

  “Good luck, lady Iryssa”, the jeweler said at last

  I gasped

  Before I could recompose myself he made a stylized gest to the door. I stood there speechless, struck by his sharp gaze penetrating me down to the bones. I stepped backwards, stumbling and empty headed as if intoxicated, and I tumbled out the door.

  Then I ran.

  I ran and ran, not even knowing where. And when I stopped I found myself in front of the library. Do not step in, I thought for some reason, and I did nonetheless, irresistibly drawn through the door.

  I stood at the entrance, looking around in confusion. For a moment I didn’t recognize the place, as if it were new to me.

  Somebody stepped inside. “Excuse me”, a voice said from behind my back, and I started, because I realized that I had been standing at the entrance for who knows how long, stoned in time. I mumbled an apology. Hearing my own voice shook me from the torpor in which I had been suspended, and I finally became able to retrace the identity of the place. I realized that I knew the place, and that I had been there before, many times. Suddenly I moved to the rare book section with hasty steps. Almost unconsciously, driven by an irrational and absolute instinct, I found my book on the shelves. I let it fall open, and it split at the page I had last read.

  Time has concealed the glory of the true discoverer of mercury cyanide’s nature, and hidden the name of the scientist who liberated the marvellous and evil spirit of this compound through the proof of fire.

  But time has not erased the names of the men who were initiated to the mysteries of mercury either by destiny or by the precepts of apt mentors, or inspired by their spirit of discovery! Of all men there is one of majestic stature, a memorable man of science, solitary and surly, and yet full of passion! This man lived and died with passion! His very name indicates that his destiny was bound to mercury! Oh skeptical reader, Cesare Mercurio is the name of the man, how can you deny that the universe and the life within it are more than a mere game of dice played by blindfolded Chance?

  Here there was a picture portraying Cesare Mercurio, the man whose destiny was bound to mercury. Who do you think I saw in that picture? You will not believe me even if I told you while swearing on my own life. It was the man who had been looking at me with charcoal eyes through the jeweler’s window! Can this all be a dream? Or am I crazy? I myself distrust my perceptions.

  I sat there looking at the picture for hours, time melting away, tears rolling silently down my cheeks, till the librarian touched my shoulder.

  “Are you all right, miss?”, she asked.

  Yes, I mumbled, and saw the clock flickering through my tears. 10.30, its arms indicated. I was incredulous.

  “We are about to close”, the librarian continued.

  I nodded and left.

  The night is damp and cold today, and the streets felt lonely, so overwhelmingly lonely, as I dragged myself to my attic, heavy with despair.

  But how did this state of mind fall upon me?

  Oh reader, now that I am here in my attic, resounding with the hollow echo of my confusion, I wish you could speak audible words.

  I hear something now…but what is it? The sound is so weak, and my soul so shipwrecked I wonder if I am making believe all my perceptions.

  Chapter 8: Cesare Mercurio

  My night was populated with dreams filled by the halo of the red headed woman…ah, I, who just a week ago dreamed about the wonders of my science with fulfilling curiosity, I who needed nobody but myself, I am now longing for a woman I have not even spoken to!

  Shame should be my feeling as I am sloshed to and fro by novel passions, and yet all I can rest my attention on is how to meet the woman again. Of course I must first see the jeweler. I trust and hope he has produced the necklace I asked for flawlessly or else…no, with a reputation like his the man cannot have failed me! Once I’ll retrieve the necklace I shall go to the apothecary shop, feign an ailment. But what should the next step be? I will hand the woman the necklace as a sign of gratitude for mitigating my suffering, this is what I must do! But will I place the woman in an importune situation by handing her the necklace? And the man working in the shop, how is he related to her?

  Ah, my mind is spinning with such a swarm of buzzing thoughts I must take action to prevent it from slipping into madness! Let me walk to the jeweler now, I shall return to these pages later.

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  At last I am back to my diary and to you, oh reader, as I had promised you and myself. But reader, this is the sole promise I have kept, shame on me! My cheeks blush at my disheartening lack of courage. This morning I did indeed find the necklace and the ring I had asked for, and their quality was much superior to my requests and expectations. I slipped the ring on my middle finger, and it fit me as if I had been born with it on my hands, it shimmered with flames of red and gold as if ignited by my very soul! And the necklace! Such refinement there is to this unique piece of art! The beauty of the pendant surpassed my imagination, and I was awestruck as I held the necklace on the palm of my hand, transfixed by the blue sharpness of the jeweler’s eyes.

  “What a memorable piece of perfection!”, I was able to exclaim at last

  “It will not be forgotten, rest assured”, the man said

  I looked at him questioningly, wondering at the enigmatic note in his tone, but before I could speak he raised his hand

  “I beg you to accept my humble apologies sir, but I have urgent work to do”, he said

  “What is the compensation I should give you?”, I asked, astonished by his behaviour

  “The one I deserve”, he replied, casting his deep gaze on me

  Then he walked to the back of the shop without adding a word.

  I had a bag full of gold with me, of which I had planned to use only half to pay for the jewellery. But after seeing what the man had done, I left the whole bag of gold on the counter, keeping only a coin to pay for the medicine at the apothecary shop.

  I walked away with my precious necklace, my steps swift with impatient anticipation. And yet when I saw the apothecary shop from a distance I turned hesitant, my feet slowed and my heartbeat quickened. “Courage!”, I ordered myself in silence and moved on, strenuously duelling with my fears.

  When I entered the shop the man was grinding some powder, while the red-headed woman was not there, or so I thought. Ah, how desperate I became at that moment!

  “Good morning, sir”, the man greeted me looking up from his work

  “Iryssa Luna, there is a gentleman here”, he then called out and added, “My niece will be serving you in a moment”

  Iryssa Luna, what a fascinating name worthy of its owner!

  So Iryssa Luna is the niece of the man…

  I had indeed learned more than I had hoped for simply by stepping into the apothecary shop. For a moment
I felt more confident and yet, as soon as Iryssa Luna appeared from the back, her glossy curls in flames and her rosy skin freshly fragrant, my mouth went dry and my thoughts lots clarity.

  “At your service, sir. What may I do for you, sir?”, Iryssa Luna asked, speaking the words with a delicate voice, smiling shyly

  I stood there speechless for a moment, with a dumbstruck expression.

  Iryssa Luna kept smiling, undeterred by my silence.

  “My heart beats too fast. I trust my blood pressure is high”, I said, the words coming out at last, to my surprise.

  What I had said was not even a lie at this point.

  “Ah!”, she exclaimed, looking delighted, and I wondered what could be pleasing her so.

  “This is a lucky coincidence, because the other day I discovered an advanced method of extracting pure substances that can contrast high blood pressure most effectively”, Iryssa Luna continued, explaining her previous enthusiasm

  “I am certainly pleased by the lucky coincidence”, I replied seriously

  “Very well, sir. I have some extract ready if you wish to have it, I prepared it shortly ago”, Iryssa Luna continued, the shy smile constantly brightening her traits

  “I…I…sure thank you”, was my teetering response

  “Please allow me to take a moment and transfer some distillate in a bottle”, Iryssa said, sliding with the lightest moves to the back of the shop.

  I felt inside my coat’s pocket, clutching the necklace.