Forget Me Not

by Erica Pensini

  The facts speak clearly, and yet there are times when reality differs from the tale told by seemingly objective observations. Is there anything such as an objective observation anyways? I will have to find Iryssa and talk to her, or rather send her a note asking her to join me when and if she pleases. My very last desire is to be intrusive, but I need to warn her again against the scoundrel and understand her relationship with this useless half-man with no courage and no creativity! This man who is now treacherously stealing my woman after attempting to steal my science!

  Chapter 23 – Iris

  I was not at ease when Cesar opened the door, and he immediately detected the strident note of restlessness in my ways.

  “Are you still upset about yesterday night?”, he asked, then continued, “Or perhaps there is something else that I don’t know about?”

  “What would that something else be?”, I retorted defensively

  “Come on in”, he said, without picking up on my bitter reply

  I stepped in and spoke about the paper even before removing my coat.

  “I lost the paper you gave me and it seems to be irretrievable in the library’s database. Where did you find it?”, I asked

  “I pulled it off the database in my institution, I can find it for you now if you want. I have access to the database from my home computer too”, Cesar said

  “Yes, please”, I replied without hesitation

  “Sure”, he agreed, slightly surprised

  I waited tensely till Cesar searched the cursed paper.

  “Here”, he said at last, pointing at a document on the screen. But when I saw it I immediately noticed it was not the same paper I had previously read.

  “Wait, this is not what you gave me yesterday!”, I objected

  “What do you mean? I am sure it is”, Cesar replied, arching his brows

  “No it isn’t”, I insisted, scrolling down and reading lines I didn’t remember

  “I am sure it is…it is the one that seemed most relevant to you work among the ones I read, and I passed it over to you because of this. It is about cyanogenic glycosides…”, he started

  “It is, yes”, I interrupted, “but it is not the one you gave me yesterday!”

  I was exasperated.

  Cesar shrugged.

  “What about having dinner and forgetting about the paper?”, he proposed with a tinge of indulgent patience in his tone that intensified my anger.

  “Why does everyone want me to have dinner and forget the paper?”, I screamed

  “Who is everyone?”, Cesar asked, suddenly suspicious

  “Otto and you”, I replied dryly

  “Your colleague!?”, he exclaimed

  “Yes”, I confirmed with defiance

  “I thought you didn’t trust him, and rightly so”, his voice controlled but emanating angry vibes

  “I’ve began to believe that he is a better man than I thought. Perhaps I was too hasty to judge him”, I said

  “Hasty? He was stealing your samples!”, Cesar raged, tapping his fist against the wall

  I had never seen him in such a state and his violent side – which I didn’t know about before – disturbed me.

  “I don’t trust Otto fully, but I think he deserves a chance to redeem himself”, I said, and described the conversation I had with Otto without mentioning his love confession, and my unexpected feelings towards him.

  “I trust you, Iris. I want to trust you”, Cesar said, his voice soft again

  I nodded and smiled, swallowing the sense of guilt.

  “But please be very careful with the man, that’s all I’m asking”, Cesar concluded, caressing my hair.

  I nodded and smiled again, the tears frozen behind my eyes.

  Chapter 24 – Cesare Mercurio

  This morning she was there, waiting for me. I found Iryssa in front of my laboratory, and my heart rejoiced at the view of her beauty, at the softness of her smile.

  “I received your note, and here I am”, she said with touching candor

  “Thank you Iryssa, thank you!”, I exclaimed with transport and reached towards her, but she pulled back, and I sensed a disharmonic note in the melody between us.

  I thought for the whole night about what I had seen in the park and swore that at some point in time and space I will take revenge, a horrendous and inhumane revenge! I will show Iryssa the real nature of the scoundrel and I will teach her to hate him, so that the revengeful strike will come from her hand, not mine! Oh reader, do not believe that I lack courage, not at all! I want the blow to be inflicted by Iryssa because there is no other way to make the revenge perfect and fully meaningful. She will suffer, yes, but Iryssa must see her delusion. Deep knowledge never comes without pain.

  I smiled bitterly, and for a moment she was startled by my expression.

  Then she spoke.

  “Do you remember the necklace you gave me?”, she asked, holding up the pendant she still wore on her neck

  “I never forget”, I replied, love and cruelty blend into one

  Iryssa’s face darkened, before she managed to recompose herself and smile.

  “Now I have a necklace for you”, she said, producing a little black box from her purse

  This gest was so unexpected I arched my brows, wondering if perhaps I hadn’t grossly misread the events.

  “Yes, a necklace”, she repeated, seeing my surprise

  “It is not meant to be worn during the day. Don’t open the box before the evening comes! Then, when the sun falls, place it on your neck and think about me”, Iryssa instructed me

  My surprise increased, this behaviour seemed so atypical of my Iryssa. But was she really mine? Did I truly know her?

  “Why such peculiar instructions?”, I asked

  “Because…this is an amulet”, she began

  “An amulet? You are a scientist, Iryssa, not a charlatan, how can you believe in amulets? And what is the alleged action of this amulet, if I may ask?”, I objected

  “It isn’t truly an amulet, although I called it so”, Iryssa corrected herself, “it is a necklace I loved as soon as I saw it and I want you to have it, but it seems more suited for a woman than a man. This is why you should not wear it during the day…I want you to wear it at night, and think about me. It is an infantine wish, I know…”, she said, without completing her sentence

  I smiled with tenderness.

  “Oh Iryssa…”, I sighted, cursing my previous distrustful thoughts

  “I shall leave now, my uncle is waiting in the shop”, Iryssa said before I could embrace her

  She smiled as she walked away, but I sensed sadness in her smile. It was all so strange, and I could not decipher her moods.

  “Can we meet tomorrow?”, I asked, as Iryssa was already at a distance

  “Of course”, she replied, turning my way for the briefest moment

  During the rest of the day I could hardly prevent myself from constantly recollecting our brief morning encounter and the scenes I had assisted to the previous day. Nonetheless I strived to find some inner peace amid my ampoules and chemicals, spending an intense day in the laboratory.

  I reached my abode when the sun had already set, grasping the small box in my hand. The rooms were dark and I lit a flickering candle to shed some warmness around me. I sat at my desk and opened the box. There was a necklace with a strange pendant on it, it had a rhomboidal shape and seemed empty inside. I wondered which feelings it inspired in Iryssa when she saw it, as I turned it between my fingers with alternating waves of unconditional love and skepticism. Then I wore it. If I were an ignorant man I might very well trust the object to be an amulet, because after donning it for nothing but few instants my heart began to beat at an odd pace, and my muscles twitched with strange pulsations. I don’t feel like my usual self. But reader, how can I after the turmoil of the last days? I shall drink a warm glass of milk and lay awhile to gain some strength, offering my beaten body and mind a pause from the battles they have been fighting.
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  Chapter 25 – Iris

  Yesterday night I had dinner with Otto. Perhaps I should have thought that things were moving too fast, and that our first date – if that dinner was a date – should have happened in a somewhat neutral territory. But Otto asked me to meet at his place, and I answered without giving it much thought. This was a mistake, a very big mistake! I should have never trusted Otto Hermes, never! My memories of yesterday are so blurred I completely renounce the idea of giving you an account of what happened. All I know is that at some point I felt extremely ill, and that this morning I woke up in my own bed with no recollection of how I got here. When I got up from bed I was light-headed and a sense of nausea still lingered in me, but I nonetheless decided to return to my work in the lab.

  At this point I am not sure if the paper that shattered my faith in my work truly exists, and if somebody else discovered Iryssa Celata before I did. It does not matter, I will continue my research anyways. I need something to hold onto, I cannot abandon my work without freefalling to depths I cannot, and do not, wish to imagine. But when I reached the lab all my samples were gone. I had disposed of part of them during the destructive folly of the previous days, but I am sure that I had spared a few and placed them back in the fridge.

  Why were they gone? Yes, my mind was playing vicious tricks on me, but I could swear that some samples had to be in the lab!

  I knew that there was only one person who could have taken them: Otto Hermes. It was all a farce: the story about his wish to help me, his love for me and everything else he had said. And what about yesterday night? Why did he not stay with me if he loved me, since I was so ill?

  Cesar was right, I should have listened to him rather than stupidly giving faith to somebody who never inspired anything in me except in one cursed moment! I left the lab in great rush, with angry tears striking my cheeks. At first I was not sure about where I was going, but then I found myself running towards Cesar’s place. I rang the bell repeatedly, although it was unlikely that I could find him during this hour of the day. But the door opened after a few instants, and Cesar welcomed me as if he had been expecting the visit.

  “Come on in”, he said

  “I thought you’d be at work”, I replied, realizing only then that I had never seen the place where Cesar works, and don’t even know the name of his research institute

  Cesar did not answer, and he simply observed me in silence.

  “Otto Hermes is a liar! A liar!”, I screamed

  Cesar closed the door behind me.

  “I don’t know what happened yesterday night, I don’t remember”, I continued, my tone not as loud now, but my anger so piercing it deafened me

  “You cannot remember but you know”, Cesar replied calmly

  “The samples in the lab are gone!”, I burst out, yelling again

  “And Otto Hermes is too”, Cesar concluded

  “How do you know?”, I asked, stunned

  “You thought Otto Hermes cared about you, but all he really cared about was your science. Actually, he didn’t even care about your science, but rather about how to make your science his”, Cesar explained with a sedate voice

  A flash of satisfaction crossed his face as he made this last statement, but then he bowed his head, and when he raised his eyes they were veiled with tears.

  “Why did you ever trust him, Iris? How could you value a man like him more than you value me?”, he asked.

  So he knew.

  But how could he know? It hadn’t even been a love affair, it had been nothing but one short moment of confusion.

  I looked at Cesar, thoughts and questions and apologies I dared not speak out crowding my mind.

  “Never mind my question, what use is there in words anyways?”, Cesare said, with a blank tone I had not heard from him before.

  I tried to reach for his hand but he withdrew it.

  “Not now, Iris”, he said, and my heart broke

  “This is not the time for sorrow and it is not the time for reunions, it is the time for you to go back to the lab and find Otto Hermes”, Cesar said peremptorily

  “But why do you think he is there now?”, I asked

  “Go find him”, he repeated

  I am alertly aware of the shades crowding around me. I can tell something is about to happen, although I am unable to describe what will happen.

  I am sitting on some stone steps now, at the bottom of an ancient building in this city I might not see again, at least not with these same eyes, not in this same way. Reader, please remember my story if I will disappear.

  I must run now. I must reach the lab as Cesar commanded. I sense he knows secrets I ignore.

  Chapter 26 – Cesare Mercurio

  I am poisoned. These are among the last words I will write, my fingers are frail, I have no force left, my body is burning. The illness that started yesterday evening dilated within me, and I am dying.

  It is still dark outside, and I don’t know if I will live to see the light of the day.

  My beautiful Iryssa is with me now, her eyes are red and swollen with grief, her cheeks are wet with tears. She has ripped the necklace off my neck, I don’t know why.

  “I will tell you…”, she begins, but her voice breaks

  “Do not cry, my precious pearl”, I say

  “How could I be so blind”, she cries, cupping her hands around her face.

  “Ricco Ermete, that liar and impostor, misguided my stolid mind and killed you!”, she continues

  “Your mind is not stolid…”, I whisper

  “He told me he loved me, I thought I loved him too. It all happened so rapidly, I should have doubted the truthfulness of my feelings, the honesty of his words…the other day I told Ricco Ermete that I could not confess my love for him to you, because you feel so strongly for me. It was then that Ricco Ermete gave me the necklace, that cursed necklace! He told me there was an antidote in it, a potion that could cure you from the love of me so that he and I could live happily together without guilt. An antidote! Only charlatans talk about antidotes, and only ignorant men and women believe charlatans! How could I? But I did, and now you are dying, killed by the poison I gave you…”, Iryssa sobs

  “I know I have been poisoned”, I say, feeling not fear, but the regret of a life wasted without reason

  “I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating, and I sensed painful vibrations in the apparent stillness of the night. I ran out and my feet brought me towards your laboratory. I noticed that somebody was in there, with a small lantern in his hand. The man’s movements were rushed, as if he feared being discovered, and I immediately understood that you could not be the man I was seeing. I waited outside, holding my breath, and a few moments later Ricco Ermete came out of the rooms, his hands full of your stolen belongings. I screamed, and for a moment he stopped short, startled. Then he burst out in a fit of demonic laughter. ‘Did you really believe I was interested in you? I never considered you a clever woman, but you are dumber than I thought! You’ve served me well though! I appreciate your contribution in poisoning your man with his own mercury salts! Ah, what a perfect crime!’. So he said, before donning a mask and disappearing on his carriage”, Iryssa tells me

  The pain is excruciating now.

  Ah reader, darkness is falling upon me…

  Chapter 27 – Iris

  When I reached the basement I saw Otto walking with gingerly steps towards my lab.

  “Look who’s here!”, I shouted with abrasive irony, and Otto stopped, startled

  “Oh hello”, he replied, trying to disguise his nervousness

  “You didn’t expect to see me again?”, I asked sardonically

  “Why, of course I did”, Otto replied with false candor

  “Ah! You did. Of course. I am curious about what happened yesterday night, but perhaps what happened to my samples is an even more interesting topic of conversation”, I laughed acridly

  Otto looked at me with simulated surprise.

  “Why don�
��t we go to the lab and talk there”, he told me

  “Right, why don’t we?”, I echoed back, walking towards the lab

  “You are so shaken, why don’t you sit down and have a drink, a sip of juice maybe. Here, I just purchased a couple of bottles on my way here”, he said, as if he cared

  “Keep your drinks for yourself!”, I screamed

  “But I want you to have a drink”, he insisted, approaching me with a strange expression

  I felt a sudden rush of fear, and droplets of cold sweat coagulated on my skin.

  “No…”, I refused, but before I could pull back he began pouring the liquid down my throat. He pulled my head backwards tugging on my hair, pressing his body against mine, immobilizing me as the bitter-sweet fluid chocked me.

  I thought I would die. I believe I lost conscience for a moment, but then something happened. One cannot tell how much force one has till the moment comes when one must use it or die. I coughed. I pushed back with all the hatred, the anger, the despair and the pain I had in me, and darkness exploded into light, my bound body became free and I found myself spitting juice on Otto’s body, as he lay on the floor streaked in blood.

  I opened the chemical cabinet and took a concentrated solution of mercury cyanide. I tilted Otto’s head backwards and began pouring slowly, so that all the liquid went down his throat and not a single drop spilled on the floor.

  When I finished I closed the empty bottle and placed it back in the cabinet. Then I washed my hands and my face, I closed my coat to hide the spots of juice and blood on my shirt, I shut the door and walked away with regular, unhurried steps.

  Chapter 28 – Cesare Mercurio

  It is dawning now and I have just reopened my eyes. I did not hope to see the light of the sun again.

  “Cesar”, Iryssa whispers as I open my eyes

  “Iryssa…”, I say, the words barely audible

  She wets my lips with a moist cloth, sobbing.

  “I love you”, she says, “I always will”

  “Iryssa, this is not the end. Our love has no boundaries”, I say, suddenly stronger

  Iryssa nods, but I know she would not dare contradict me in this moment, regardless of what I tell her.