The Great Leveller: Best Served Cold, The Heroes and Red Country

by Joe Abercrombie

Cosca squinted through his eyeglass towards the mass of soldiery on the far side of the river. The enemy, though he held no personal rancour towards them. The battlefield was no place for rancour. Blue flags carrying the white tower of Ospria fluttered above them, but one larger than the others, edged with gold. The standard of the Duke of Delay himself. Horsemen were scattered about it, a group of ladies too, by the look of things, ridden out to watch the battle, all in their best. Cosca fancied he could even see some Gurkish priests, though he could not imagine what their interest might be. He wondered idly whether Monzcarro Murcatto was there. The notion of her sitting side-saddle in floating silks fit for a coronation gave him a brief moment of amusement. The battlefield was most definitely a place for amusement. He lowered his eyeglass, took a swig from his flask and happily closed his eyes, feeling the sun flicker through the branches of the old olive trees.

  ‘Well?’ came Andiche’s rough voice.

  ‘What? Oh, you know. Still forming up.’

  ‘Rigrat sends word the Talinese are beginning their attack.’

  ‘Ah! So they are.’ Cosca sat forwards, training his eyeglass on the ridge to his right. The front ranks of Foscar’s foot were close to the river now, spread out across the flower-dotted sward in orderly lines, the hard dirt of the Imperial road invisible beneath that mass of men. He could faintly hear the tramping of their feet, the disembodied calls of their officers, the regular thump, thump of their drums floating on the warm air, and he waved one hand gently back and forth in time. ‘Quite the spectacle of military splendour!’

  He moved his round window on the world down the road to the glittering, slow-flowing water, across it to the far bank and up the slope. The Osprian regiments were deploying to meet them, perhaps a hundred strides above the river. Archers had formed a long line behind them on higher ground, kneeling, making ready their bows. ‘Do you know, Andiche . . . I have a feeling we will shortly witness some bloodshed. Order the men forwards, up behind us here. Fifty strides, perhaps, beyond the brow of the hill.’

  ‘But . . . they’ll be seen. We’ll lose the surprise—’

  ‘Shit on the surprise. Let them see the battle, and let the battle see them. Give them a taste for it.’

  ‘But General—’

  ‘Give the orders, man. Don’t fuss.’

  Andiche turned away, frowning, and beckoned over one of his sergeants. Cosca settled back with a satisfied sigh, stretched his legs out and crossed one highly polished boot over the other. Good boots. How long had it been since he’d last worn good boots? The front rank of Foscar’s men were in the river. Wading forwards with grim determination, no doubt, up to their knees in cold water, looking without relish at the considerable body of soldiers drawn up in good order on the high ground to their front. Waiting for the arrows to start falling. Waiting for the charge to come. An unenviable task, forcing that ford. He had to admit to being damn pleased he had talked his way clear of it.

  He raised Morveer’s flask and wet his lips, just a little.

  Shivers heard the faint cries of the orders, the rattling rush of a few hundred shafts loosed together. The first volley went up from Rogont’s archers, black splinters drifting, and rained down on the Talinese as they waded on through the shallows.

  Shivers shifted in his saddle, rubbed gently at his itching scar as he watched the lines twist and buckle, holes opening up, flags drooping. Some men slowing, wanting to get back, others moving faster, wanting to press on. Fear and anger, two sides to the same coin. No one’s favourite job, trying to march tight over bad terrain while men shoot arrows at you. Stepping over corpses. Friends, maybe. The horrible chance of it, knowing a little gust might be the difference between an arrow in the earth by your boot or an arrow through your face.

  Shivers had seen battles enough, of course. A lifetime of ’em. He’d watched them play out or listened to the sounds in the distance, waiting to hear the call and take his own part, fretting on his chances, trying to hide his fear from those he led and those he followed. He remembered Black Well, running through the mist, heart pounding, startling at shadows. The Cumnur, where he’d screamed the war cry with five thousand others as they thundered down the long slope. Dunbrec, where he’d followed Rudd Threetrees in a charge against the Feared, damn near given his life to hold the line. The battle in the High Places, Shanka boiling up out of the valley, mad Easterners trying to climb the wall, fighting back to back with the Bloody-Nine, stand or die. Memories sharp enough to cut himself on – the smells, the sounds, the feel of the air on his skin, the desperate hope and mad anger.

  He watched another volley go up, watched the great mass of Talinese coming on through the water, and felt nothing much but curious. No kinship with either side. No sorrow for the dead. No fear for himself. He watched men dropping under the hail of fire, and he burped, and the mild burning up his throat gave him a sight more worry than if the river had suddenly flooded and washed every one of those bastards down there out to the ocean. Drowned the fucking world. He didn’t care a shit about the outcome. It wasn’t his war.

  Which made him wonder why he was ready to fight in it, and more’n likely on the losing side.

  His eye twitched from the brewing battle to Monza. She clapped Rogont on the shoulder and Shivers felt his face burn like he’d been slapped. Each time they spoke it stung at him. Her black hair blew back for a moment, showed him the side of her face, jaw set hard. He didn’t know if he loved her, or wanted her, or just hated that she didn’t want him. She was the scab he couldn’t stop picking, the split lip he couldn’t stop biting at, the loose thread he couldn’t stop tugging ’til his shirt came all to pieces.

  Down in the valley the front rank of the Talinese had worse troubles, floundering from the river and up onto the bank, lost their shape from slogging across the ford under fire. Monza shouted something at Rogont, and he called to one of his men. Shivers heard the cries creep up from the slopes below. The order to charge. The Osprian foot lowered their spears, blades a glittering wave as they swung down together, then began to move. Slow at first, then quicker, then breaking into a jog, pouring away from the archers, still loading and firing fast as they could, down the long slope towards the sparkling water, and the Talinese trying to form some kind of line on the bank.

  Shivers watched the two sides come together, merge. A moment later he heard the contact, faint on the wind. That rattling, clattering, jangling din of metal, like a hailstorm on a lead roof. Roars, wails, screams from nowhere floating with it. Another volley fell among the ranks still struggling through the water. Shivers watched it all, and burped again.

  Rogont’s headquarters was quiet as the dead, everyone staring down towards the ford, mouths and eyes wide, faces pale and reins clenched tight with worry. The Talinese had flatbowmen of their own ready now, sent a wave of bolts up from the water, flying flat and hissing among the archers. More’n one fell. Someone started squealing. A rogue bolt thudded into the turf not far from one of Rogont’s officers, made his horse startle and near dumped him from the saddle. Monza urged her own mount a pace or two forwards, standing in the stirrups to get a better view, borrowed armour gleaming dully in the morning sun. Shivers frowned.

  One way or another, he was here for her. To fight for her. Protect her. Try to make things right between them. Or maybe just hurt her like she’d hurt him. He closed his fist, nails digging into his palm, knuckles sore from knocking that servant’s teeth out. They weren’t done yet, that much he knew.

  All Business

  The upper ford was a patch of slow-moving water, sparkling in the morning sun as it broke up in the shallows. A faint track led from the far bank between a few scattered buildings, then through an orchard and up the long slope to a gate in the black-banded outermost wall of Ospria. All seemingly deserted. Rogont’s foot were mostly committed to the savage fight at the lower ford. Only a few small units hung back to guard the archers, loading and firing into the mass of men in the midst of the river as fast as they possibly could
.

  The Osprian cavalry were waiting in the shadow of the walls as a last reserve, but too few, and too far away. The Thousand Swords’ path to victory appeared unguarded. Cosca stroked gently at his neck. In his judgement, now was the perfect moment to attack.

  Andiche evidently agreed. ‘Getting hot down there. Should I tell the men to mount up?’

  ‘Let’s not trouble them quite yet. It’s still early.’

  ‘You sure?’

  Cosca turned to look evenly back at him. ‘Do I look unsure?’ Andiche puffed out his pitted cheeks, then stomped off to confer with some of his own officers. Cosca stretched out, hands clasped behind his head, and watched the battle slowly develop. ‘What was I saying?’

  ‘A chance to leave all this behind,’ said Friendly.

  ‘Ah yes! I had the chance to leave all this behind. Yet I chose to come back. Change is not a simple thing, eh, Sergeant? I entirely see and understand the pointlessness and waste of it all, yet I do it anyway. Does that make me worse or better than the man who does it thinking himself ennobled by a righteous cause? Or the man who does it for his own profit, without the slightest grain of thought for right or wrong? Or are we all the same?’

  Friendly only shrugged.

  ‘Men dying. Men maimed. Lives destroyed.’ He might as well have been reciting a list of vegetables for all the emotion he felt. ‘I have spent half my life in the business of destruction. The other half in the dogged pursuit of self-destruction. I have created nothing. Nothing but widows, orphans, ruins and misery, a bastard or two, perhaps, and a great deal of vomit. Glory? Honour? My piss is worth more, that at least makes nettles grow.’ But if his aim was to prick his own conscience into wakefulness it still slumbered on regardless. ‘I have fought in many battles, Sergeant Friendly.’

  ‘How many?’

  ‘A dozen? A score? More? The line between battle and skirmish is a fuzzy one. Some of the sieges dragged on, with many engagements. Do those count as one, or several?’

  ‘You’re the soldier.’

  ‘And even I don’t have the answers. In war, there are no straight lines. What was I saying?’

  ‘Many battles.’

  ‘Ah, yes! Many! And though I have tried always to avoid becoming closely involved in the fighting, I have often failed. I am fully aware of what it’s like in the midst of that mêlée. The flashing blades. Shields cloven and spears shattered. The crush, the heat, the sweat, the stink of death. The tiny heroics and the petty villainies. Proud flags and honourable men crushed underfoot. Limbs lopped off, showers of blood, split skulls, spilled guts, and all the rest.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Reasonable to suppose some drownings too, under the circumstances.’

  ‘How many, would you say?’

  ‘Difficult to be specific.’ Cosca thought of the Gurkish drowning in the channel at Dagoska, brave men swept out to sea, their corpses washed up on every tide, and gave a long sigh. ‘Still, I find I can watch without much sentiment. Is it ruthlessness? Is it the fitting detachment of command? Is it the configuration of the stars at my birth? I find myself always sanguine in the face of death and danger. More so than at any other time. Happy when I should be horrified, fearful when I should be calm. I am a riddle, to be sure, even to myself. I am a back-to-front man, Sergeant Friendly!’ He laughed, then chuckled, then sighed, then was silent. ‘A man upside down and inside out.’

  ‘General.’ Andiche was leaning over him again, lank hair hanging.

  ‘What, for pity’s sake? I am trying to philosophise!’

  ‘The Osprians are fully engaged. All their foot are tackling Foscar’s troops. They’ve no reserves but a few horse.’

  Cosca squinted down towards the valley. ‘I see that, Captain Andiche. We all quite clearly see that. There is no need to state the obvious.’

  ‘Well . . . we’ll sweep those bastards away, no trouble. Give me the order and I’ll see to it. We’ll get no easier chance.’

  ‘Thank you, but it looks dreadfully hot out there now. I am quite comfortable where I am. Perhaps later.’

  ‘But why not—’

  ‘It amazes me, that after so long on campaign, the whole business of the chain of command still confounds you! You will find it far less worrisome if, rather than trying to anticipate my orders, you simply wait for me to give them. It really is the simplest of military principles.’

  Andiche scratched his greasy head. ‘I understand the concept.’

  ‘Then act according to it. Find a shady spot, man, take the weight from your feet. Stop running to nowhere. Take a lesson from my goat. Do you see her fussing?’

  The goat lifted her head from the grass between the olive trees for a moment, and bleated.

  Andiche put his hands on his hips, winced, stared down at the valley, up at Cosca, frowned at the goat, then turned away and walked off, shaking his head.

  ‘Everyone rushing, rushing, Sergeant Friendly, do we get no peace? Is a quiet moment out of the sun really too much to ask? What was I saying?’

  ‘Why isn’t he attacking?’

  When Monza had seen the Thousand Swords easing onto the brow of the hill, the tiny shapes of men, horses, spears black against the blue morning sky, she’d known they were about to charge. To splash happily across the upper ford and take Rogont’s men in the flank, just the way she’d said they would. Just the way she’d have done. To put a bloody end to the battle, to the League of Eight, to her hopes, such as they were. No man was quicker to pluck the easy fruit than Nicomo Cosca, and none quicker to wolf it down than the men she used to lead.

  But the Thousand Swords only sat there, in plain view, on top of Menzes Hill, and waited. Waited for nothing. Meanwhile Foscar’s Talinese struggled on the banks of the lower ford, at push of pike with Rogont’s Osprians, water, ground and slope all set against them, arrows raining down on the men behind the front line with punishing regularity. Bodies were carried by the current, limp shapes washing up on the bank of the river, bobbing in the shallows below the ford.

  Still the Thousand Swords didn’t move.

  ‘Why show himself in the first place, if he doesn’t mean to come down?’ Monza chewed at her lip, not trusting it. ‘Cosca’s no fool. Why give away the surprise?’

  Duke Rogont only shrugged. ‘Why complain about it? The longer he waits, the better for us, no? We have enough to worry on with Foscar.’

  ‘What’s he up to?’ Monza stared up at the mass of horsemen ranged across the crest of the hill, beside the olive grove. ‘What’s that old bastard about?’

  Colonel Rigrat whipped his well-lathered horse between the tents, sending idle mercenaries scattering, and reined the beast in savagely not far away. He slid from the saddle, nearly fell, tore his boot from the stirrup and stormed up, ripping off his gloves, face flushed with sweaty fury. ‘Cosca! Nicomo Cosca, damn you!’

  ‘Colonel Rigrat! A fine morning, my young friend! I hope all is well?’

  ‘Well? Why are you not attacking?’ He stabbed one finger down towards the river, evidently having misplaced his baton. ‘We are engaged in the valley! Most hotly engaged!’

  ‘Why, so you are.’ Cosca rocked forwards and rose smoothly from the captain general’s chair. ‘Perhaps it would be better if we were to discuss this away from the men. Not good form, to bicker. Besides, you’re scaring my goat.’

  ‘What?’

  Cosca patted the animal gently on the back as he passed. ‘She’s the only one who truly understands me. Come to my tent. I have fruit there! Andiche! Come join us!’

  He strode off, Rigrat blustering after, Andiche falling into puzzled step behind. Past Nocau, on guard before the flap with his great scimitar drawn, and into the cool, dim interior of the tent, draped all around with the victories of the past. Cosca ran the back of his hand affectionately down one swathe of threadbare cloth, edges blackened by fire. ‘The flag that hung upon the walls of Muris, during the siege . . . was it truly a dozen years ago?’ He turned to see Friendly sidle through the flap after the others
and lurk near the entrance. ‘I brought it down from the highest parapet with my own hand, you know.’

  ‘After you tore it from the hand of the dead hero who was up there first,’ said Andiche.

  ‘Whatever is the purpose of dead heroes, if not to pass on stolen flags to more prudent fellows in the rank behind?’ He snatched the bowl of fruit from the table and shoved it under Rigrat’s nose. ‘You look ill, Colonel. Have a grape.’

  The man’s trembling face was rapidly approaching grape colour. ‘Grape? Grape?’ He lashed at the flap with his gloves. ‘I demand that you attack at once! I flatly demand it!’

  ‘Attack.’ Cosca winced. ‘Across the upper ford?’

  ‘Yes!’

  ‘According to the excellent plan you laid out to me last night?’

  ‘Yes, damn it! Yes!’

  ‘In all honesty, nothing would please me more. I love a good attack, ask anyone, but the problem is . . . you see . . .’ Pregnant silence stretched out as he spread his hands wide. ‘I took such an enormous sum of money from Duke Rogont’s Gurkish friend not to.’

  Ishri came from nowhere. Solidified from the shadows at the edges of the tent, slid from the folds in the ancient flags and strutted into being. ‘Greetings,’ she said. Rigrat and Andiche both stared at her, equally stunned.

  Cosca peered up at the gently flapping roof of the tent, tapping at his pursed lips with one finger. ‘A dilemma. A moral quandary. I want so badly to attack, but I cannot attack Rogont. And I can scarcely attack Foscar, when his father has also paid me so handsomely. In my youth I jerked this way and that just as the wind blew me, but I am trying earnestly to change, Colonel, as I explained to you the other evening. Really, in all good conscience, the only thing I can do is sit here.’ He popped a grape into his mouth. ‘And do nothing.’

  Rigrat gave a splutter and made a belated grab for his sword, but Friendly’s big fist was already around the hilt, knife gleaming in his other hand. ‘No, no, no.’ The colonel froze as Friendly slid his sword carefully from its sheath and tossed it across the tent.