The Great Leveller: Best Served Cold, The Heroes and Red Country

by Joe Abercrombie

  She took a wobbling step towards Shivers and he dropped his scarred axe, caught her as she fell. She clung on to him, right arm around his shoulder, left dangling, still just gripping the mace, if only because she couldn’t make the fingers open.

  ‘We won,’ she whispered at him, and she felt herself smiling.

  ‘We won,’ he said, squeezing her tight, half-lifting her off her feet.

  ‘We won.’

  Cosca lowered his eyeglass, blinked and rubbed his eyes, one half-blind from being shut for the best part of the hour, the other half-blind from being jammed into the eyepiece for the same period. ‘Well, there we are.’ He shifted uncomfortably in the captain general’s chair. His trousers had become wedged in the sweaty crack of his arse and he wriggled as he tugged them free. ‘God smiles on results, do you Gurkish say?’

  Silence. Ishri had melted away as swiftly as she had appeared. Cosca swivelled the other way, towards Friendly. ‘Quite the show, eh, Sergeant?’

  The convict looked up from his dice, frowned down into the valley and said nothing. Duke Rogont’s timely charge had plugged the gaping hole in his lines, crushed the Baolish, driven deep into the Talinese ranks and left them broken. Not at all what the Duke of Delay was known for. In fact, Cosca was oddly pleased to perceive the audacious hand, or perhaps the fist, of Monzcarro Murcatto all over it.

  The Osprian infantry, the threat on their right wing extinguished, had blocked off the eastern bank of the lower ford entirely. Their new Sipanese allies had well and truly joined the fray, won a brief engagement with Foscar’s surprised rearguard and were close to sealing off the western bank. A good half of Orso’s army – or of those that were not now scattered dead on the slopes, on the banks downstream or floating face-down out to sea – were trapped hopelessly in the shallows between the two, and were laying down their arms. The other half were fleeing, dark specks scattered across the green slopes on the valley’s western side. The very slopes down which they had so proudly marched but a few short hours ago, confident of victory. Sipanese cavalry moved in clumps around their edges, armour gleaming in the fierce noon sun, rounding up the survivors.

  ‘All done now, though, eh, Victus?’

  ‘Looks that way.’

  ‘Everyone’s favourite part of a battle. The rout.’ Unless you were in it, of course. Cosca watched the tiny figures spilling from the fords, spreading out across the trampled grass, and had to shake off a sweaty shiver at the memory of Afieri. He forced the carefree grin to stay on his face. ‘Nothing like a good rout, eh, Sesaria?’

  ‘Who’d have thought it?’ The big man slowly shook his head. ‘Rogont won.’

  ‘Grand Duke Rogont would appear to be a most unpredictable and resourceful gentleman.’ Cosca yawned, stretched, smacked his lips. ‘One after my own heart. I look forward to having him as an employer. Probably we should help with the mopping up.’ The searching of the dead. ‘Prisoners to be taken and ransomed.’ Or murdered and robbed, depending on social station. ‘Unguarded baggage that should be confiscated, lest it spoil in the open air.’ Lest it be plundered or burned before they could get their gauntlets on it.

  Victus split a toothy grin. ‘I’ll make arrangements to bring it all in from the cold.’

  ‘Do so, brave Captain Victus, do so. I declare the sun is on its way back down and it is past time the men were on the move. I would be ashamed if, in after times, the poets said the Thousand Swords were at the Battle of Ospria . . . and did nothing.’ Cosca smiled wide, and this time with feeling. ‘Lunch, perhaps?’

  To the Victors . . .

  Black Dow used to say the only thing better’n a battle was a battle then a fuck, and Shivers couldn’t say he disagreed. Seemed she didn’t either. She was waiting there for him, after all, when he stalked into the darkened room, bare as a baby, stretched out on the bed, her hands behind her head and one long, smooth leg pointing out towards him.

  ‘What kept you?’ she asked, rocking her hips from one side to the other.

  Time was he’d reckoned himself a quick thinker but the only thing moving fast right then was his cock. ‘I was . . .’ He was having trouble thinking much beyond the patch of dark hair between her legs, his anger all leaked away like beer from a broken jar. ‘I was . . . well . . .’ He kicked the door shut and walked slowly to her. ‘Don’t matter much, does it?’

  ‘Not much.’ She slipped off the bed, started undoing his borrowed shirt, going about it as if it was something they’d arranged.

  ‘Can’t say I was expecting . . . this.’ He reached out, almost scared to touch her in case he found he was dreaming it. Ran his fingertips down her bare arms, skin rough with gooseflesh. ‘Not after last time we spoke.’

  She pushed her fingers into his hair and pulled his head down towards her, breath on his face. She kissed his neck, then his chin, then his mouth. ‘Shall I go?’ She sucked gently at his lips again.

  ‘Fuck, no,’ his voice hardly more’n a croak.

  She had his belt open now, dug inside and pulled his cock free, started working at it with one hand while his trousers sagged slowly down, catching on his knees, belt buckle scraping on the floor.

  Her lips were cool on his chest, on his stomach, her tongue tickled his belly. Her hand slid under his fruits, cold and ticklish and he squirmed, gave a womanly kind of a squeak. He heard a quiet slurp as she wrapped her lips around him and he stood there, bent over some, knees weak and trembling and his mouth hanging open. Her head started bobbing slowly in and out, and he moved his hips in time without thinking, grunting to himself like a pig got the swill.

  Monza wiped her mouth on the back of her arm, squirmed her way onto the bed, pulling him after, kissing at her neck, at her breastbone, nipping at her chest, growling to himself like a dog got the bone.

  She brought her knee up and flipped him over onto his back. He frowned, left side of his face all in darkness, right side full of shadows from the shifting lamplight, running his fingertips gently along the scars on her ribs. She slapped his hand away. ‘Told you. I fell down a mountain. Get your trousers off.’

  He wriggled eagerly free of them, got them tangled around his ankles. ‘Shit, damn, bastard—Ah!’ He finally kicked them off and she shoved him down onto his back, clambered on top of him, one of his hands sliding up her thigh, wet fingers working between her legs. She stayed there a while, crouched over him, growling in his face and feeling his breath coming quick back at her, grinding her hips against his hand, feeling his prick rubbing up against the inside of her thigh—

  ‘Ah, wait!’ He wriggled away, sitting up, winced as he fiddled with the skin at the end of his cock. ‘Got it. Go!’

  ‘I’ll tell you when to go.’ She worked her way forwards on her knees, finding the spot and then nudging her cunt against him softly, gently, not in and not out, halfway between.

  ‘Oh.’ He wriggled his way up onto his elbows, straining vainly up against her.

  ‘Ah.’ She leaned down over him, her hair tickling his face, and he smiled, snapped his teeth at it.

  ‘Oh-urgh.’ She pushed her thumb into his mouth, dragged his head sideways and he sucked at it, bit at it, catching her wrist, licking at her hand, then her chin, then her tongue.

  ‘Ah.’ She started to push down on him, smiling herself, grunting in her throat and him grunting back at her.

  ‘Oh.’

  She had the root of his cock in one hand, rubbing herself against the end of it, not in and not out, always halfway between. She had the other round the back of Shivers’ head, holding his face against her tits while he gathered them up, squeezed them, bit at them.

  Her fingers worked under his jaw, thumb-tip sliding ever so gently onto his ruined cheek, tickling, teasing, scratching. He felt a sudden stab of fury, snatched hold of her wrist, hard, twisted it round, twisted her off him and onto her knees, twisted her arm behind her, face pushed down into the sheet, making her gasp.

  He was grunting something in Northern and even he didn’t know what. He f
elt a burning need to hurt her. Hurt himself. He tangled his free hand in her hair and shoved her head hard against the wall, growling and whimpering at her from behind while she groaned, gasped, mouth wide open, hair across her face fluttering with her breath. He still had her arm twisted behind her and her hand curled round, gripping his wrist hard while he gripped hers, dragging him down over her.

  Uh, uh, their mindless grunting. Creak, creak, the bed moaning along with them. Squelch, squelch, his skin slapping hard against her arse.

  Monza worked her hips against him a few more times, and with each one he gave a little hoot, head back, veins standing from his stretched-out neck. With each one she gave a snarl through gritted teeth, muscles all clenched aching tight, then slowly going soft. She stayed there for a moment, hunched over, limp as wet leaves, hard breath catching in the back of her throat. She winced and he shivered as she ground herself against him one last time. Then she slid off, gathered up a handful of sheet and wiped herself on it.

  He lay there on his back, sweaty chest rising and falling fast, arms spread out wide, staring at the gilded ceiling. ‘So this is what victory feels like. If I’d known I’d have taken some gambles sooner.’

  ‘No, you wouldn’t. You’re the Duke of Delay, remember?’

  He peered down at his wet cock, nudged it to one side, then the other. ‘Well, some things it’s best to take your time with . . .’

  Shivers prised his fingers open, scuffed, scabbed, scratched and clicking from gripping his axe all the long day. They left white marks across her wrist, turning slowly pink. He rocked back on his haunches, body sagging, aching muscles loose, heaving in air. His lust all spent and his rage spent with it. For now.

  Her necklace of red stones rattled as she rolled over towards him. Onto her back, tits flattened against her ribs, the knobbles of her hip bones sticking sharp from her stomach, of her collarbones sticking sharp from her shoulders. She winced, working her hand around, rubbing at her wrist.

  ‘Didn’t mean to hurt you,’ he grunted, lying badly, and not much caring either.

  ‘Oh, I’m nothing like that delicate. And you can call me Carlot.’ She reached up and brushed his lips gently with a fingertip. ‘I think we know each other well enough for that . . .’

  Monza clambered off the bed and walked to the desk, legs weak and aching, feet flapping against the cool marble. The husk lay on it, beside the lamp. The knife blade gleamed, the polished stem of the pipe shone. She sat down in front of it. Yesterday she wouldn’t have been able to keep her trembling hands away from it. Today, even with a legion of fresh aches, cuts, grazes from the battle, it didn’t call to her half so loud. She held her left hand up, knuckles starting to scab over, and frowned at it. It was firm.

  ‘I never really thought I could do it,’ she muttered.

  ‘Eh?’

  ‘Beat Orso. I thought I might get three of them. Four, maybe, before they killed me. Never thought I’d live this long. Never thought I could actually do it.’

  ‘And now one would say the odds favour you. How quickly hope can flicker into life once more.’ Rogont drew himself up before the mirror. A tall one, crusted with coloured flowers of Visserine glass. She could hardly believe, watching him pose, that she’d once been every bit as vain. The hours she’d wasted preening before the mirror. The fortunes she and Benna had spent on clothes. A fall down a mountain, a body scarred, a hand ruined and six months living like a hunted dog seemed to have cured her of that, at least. Perhaps she should’ve suggested the same remedy to Rogont.

  The duke lifted his chin in a regal gesture, chest inflated. He frowned, sagged, pressed at a long scratch just below his collarbone. ‘Damn it.’

  ‘Nick yourself on your nail-file, did you?’

  ‘A savage sword-cut like this could easily have been the death of a lesser man, I’ll have you know! But I braved it, without complaint, and fought on like a tiger, blood streaming, streaming I say, down my armour! I am beginning to suspect it could even leave a mark.’

  ‘No doubt you’ll wear it with massive pride. You could have a hole cut in all your shirts to display it to the public.’

  ‘If I didn’t know better I’d suspect I was being mocked. You do realise, if things unfold according to my plans – and they have so far, I might observe – you will soon be directing your sarcasm at the King of Styria. I have already, in fact, commissioned my crown, from Zoben Casoum, the world-famous master jeweller of Corontiz—’

  ‘Cast from Gurkish gold, no doubt.’

  Rogont paused for a moment, frowning. ‘The world is not as simple as you think, General Murcatto. A great war rages.’

  She snorted. ‘You think I missed that? These are the Years of Blood.’

  He snorted back. ‘The Years of Blood are only the latest skirmish. This war began long before you or I were born. A struggle between the Gurkish and the Union. Or between the forces that control them, at least, the church of Gurkhul and the banks of the Union. Their battlefields are everywhere, and every man must pick his side. The middle ground contains only corpses. Orso stands with the Union. Orso has the backing of the banks. And so I have my . . . backers. Every man must kneel to someone.’

  ‘Perhaps you didn’t notice. I’m not a man.’

  Rogont’s smile broke out again. ‘Oh, I noticed. It was the second thing that attracted me to you.’

  ‘The first?’

  ‘You can help me unite Styria.’

  ‘And why should I?’

  ‘A united Styria . . . she could be as great as the Union, as great as the Empire of Gurkhul. Greater, even! She could free herself from their struggle, and stand alone. Free. We have never been closer! Nicante and Puranti fall over themselves to re-enter my good graces. Affoia never left them. Sotorius is my man, with certain trifling concessions to Sipani, no more than a few islands and the city of Borletta—’

  ‘And what do the citizens of Borletta have to say to it?’

  ‘Whatever I tell them to say. They are a changeable crowd, as you discovered when they scrambled to offer you their beloved Duke Cantain’s head. Muris bowed to Sipani long ago, and Sipani now bows to me, in name at least. The power of Visserine is broken. As for Musselia, Etrea and Caprile, well. You and Orso between you, I suspect, have quite crushed their independent temper out of them.’

  ‘Westport?’

  ‘Details, details. Part of the Union or of Kanta, depending on who you ask. No, it is Talins that concerns us now. Talins is the key in the lock, the hub of the wheel, the missing piece in my majestic jigsaw.’

  ‘You love to listen to your own voice, don’t you?’

  ‘I find it talks a lot of good sense. Orso’s army is scattered, and with it his power is vanished, like smoke on the wind. He has ever resorted first to the sword, as certain others are wont to do, in fact . . .’ He raised his brows significantly at her, and she waved him on. ‘He finds, now his sword is broken, that he has no friends to sustain him. But it will not be enough to destroy Orso. I need someone to replace him, someone to guide the troublesome citizens of Talins into my gracious fold.’

  ‘Let me know when you find the right shepherd.’

  ‘Oh, I already have. Someone of skill, cunning, matchless resilience and fearsome reputation. Someone loved in Talins far more than Orso himself. Someone he tried to kill, in fact . . . for stealing his throne . . .’

  She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘I didn’t want his throne then. I don’t want it now.’

  ‘But since it is there for the taking . . . what comes once you have your revenge? You deserve to be remembered. You deserve to shape the age.’ Benna would have said so, and Monza had to admit that part of her was enjoying the flattery. Enjoying being so close to power again. She’d been used to both, and it had been a long time since she’d had a taste of either. ‘Besides, what better revenge could you have than making Orso’s greatest fear come to pass?’ That struck a fine note with her, and Rogont gave her a sly grin to show he knew it. ‘Let me be honest. I need
you.’

  ‘Let me be honest. I need you.’ That rested easily on Shivers’ pride, and she gave him a sly smile to show she knew it. ‘I scarcely have a friend left in all the wide Circle of the World.’

  ‘Seems you’ve a knack for making new ones.’

  ‘It’s harder than you’d think. To be always the outsider.’ He didn’t need to be told that after the few months he’d had. She didn’t lie, from what he could tell, just led the truth by the nose whichever way it suited her. ‘And sometimes it can be hard to tell your friends from your enemies.’

  ‘True enough.’ He didn’t need to be told that either.

  ‘I daresay where you come from loyalty is considered a noble quality. Down here in Styria, a man has to bend with the wind.’ Hard to believe anyone who smiled so sweetly could have anything dark in mind. But everything was dark to him now. Everything had a knife hidden in it. ‘Your friends and mine General Murcatto and Grand Duke Rogont, for example.’ Carlot’s two eyes drifted up to his one. ‘I wonder what they’re about, right now?’

  ‘Fucking!’ he barked at her, the fury boiling out of him so sharp she flinched away, like she was expecting him to smash her head into the wall. Maybe he nearly did. That or smash his own. But her face soon smoothed out and she smiled some more, like murderous rage was her favourite quality in a man.

  ‘The Snake of Talins and the Worm of Ospria, all stickily entwined together. Well matched, that treacherous pair. Styria’s greatest liar and Styria’s greatest murderer.’ She gently traced the scar on his chest with one fingertip. ‘What comes once she has her revenge? Once Rogont has raised her up and dangled her like a child’s toy for the people of Talins to stare at? Will you have a place when the Years of Blood are finally ended? When the war is over?’