The Great Leveller: Best Served Cold, The Heroes and Red Country

by Joe Abercrombie

  ‘All the way to the Cusk?’ Calder gave a sharp little in-breath. ‘Some of the best land in the North.’ He gave the Dogman a pointed look. ‘Sitting on the Open Council? Protected by the Union? What would Skarling Hoodless have said to that? What would my father have said?’

  ‘Who cares a shit what dead men might have said?’ The Dogman stared evenly back. ‘Things change.’

  ‘Stabbed with my own knife!’ Calder clutched at his chest, then gave a resigned shrug. ‘But the North needs peace. I am content.’

  ‘Good.’ Bayaz beckoned to his servant. ‘Then we can sign the articles—’

  ‘You misunderstand me.’ There was an uneasy pause as Calder shuffled forwards in his chair, as if they at the table were all friends together and the real enemy was at his back, and straining to hear their plans. ‘I am content, but I am not alone in this. Dow’s War Chiefs are … a jealous set.’ Calder gave a helpless laugh. ‘And they have all the swords. I can’t just agree to anything or …’ He drew a finger across his bruised throat with a squelching of his tongue. ‘Next time you want to talk you might find some stubborn blowhard like Cairm Ironhead, or some tower of vanity like Glama Golden in this chair. Good luck finding terms then.’ He tapped the map with a fingertip. ‘I’m all for this myself. All for it. But let me take it away and convince my surly brood, then we can meet again to sign the whatevers.’

  Bayaz frowned, ever so sourly, at the Northmen standing just inside the Children. ‘Tomorrow, then.’

  ‘The day after would be better.’

  ‘Don’t push me, Calder.’

  Calder was the picture of injured helplessness. ‘I don’t want to push at all! But I’m not Black Dow. I’m more … spokesman than tyrant.’

  ‘Spokesman,’ muttered the Dogman, as though the word tasted of piss.

  ‘That will not be good enough.’

  But Calder’s smirk was made of steel. Bayaz’ every effort bounced right off. ‘If only you knew how hard I’ve worked for peace, all this time. The risks I’ve taken for it.’ Calder pressed his injured hand against his heart. ‘Help me! Help me to help us all.’ Help you to help yourself, more likely.

  As Calder stood he reached across the map and offered his good hand to the Dogman. ‘I know we’ve been on different sides for a long time, one way or another, but if we’re to be neighbours there should be no chill between us.’

  ‘Different sides. That happens. Time comes you got to bury it.’ The Dogman stood, looking Calder in the eye all the way. ‘But you killed Forley the Weakest. Never did no harm to no one, that lad. Came to give you a warning, and you killed him for it.’

  Calder’s smile had turned, for the first time, slightly lopsided. ‘There isn’t a morning comes I don’t regret it.’

  ‘Then here’s another.’ The Dogman leaned forward, extended his forefinger, pressed one nostril closed with it and blew snot out of the other straight into Calder’s open palm. ‘Set foot south o’ the Cusk, I’ll cut the bloody cross in you. Then there’ll be no chill.’ And he gave a scornful sniff, and stalked past Gorst and away.

  Mitterick nervously cleared his throat. ‘We will reconvene soon, then?’ Looking to Bayaz for support that did not arrive.

  ‘Absolutely.’ Calder regained most of his grin as he wiped the Dogman’s snot off on the edge of the table. ‘In three days.’ And he turned his back and went to talk to the man with the metal eye. The one called Shivers.

  ‘This Calder seems a slippery bastard,’ Mitterick muttered to Bayaz as they left the table. ‘I’d rather have dealt with Black Dow. At least with him you knew what you were getting.’ Gorst was hardly listening. He was too busy staring at Calder and his scarred henchman. I know him. I know that face. But from where … ?

  ‘Dow was a fighter,’ Bayaz was murmuring. ‘Calder is a politician. He realises we are keen to leave, and that when the troops go home we will have nothing to bargain with. He knows he can win far more by sitting still and smirking than Dow ever did with all the steel and fury in the North…’

  Shivers turned the ruined side of his face away as he spoke to Calder, the unburned side moving into the sun … and Gorst’s skin prickled with recognition, and his mouth came open.

  Sipani.

  That face, in the smoke, before he was sent tumbling down the stairs. That face. How could it be the same man? And yet he was almost sure.

  Bayaz’ voice faded behind him as Gorst strode around the table, jaw clenched, and onto the Northmen’s side of the Children. One of Calder’s old retainers grunted as Gorst shouldered him out of the way. Probably this was extremely poor, if not potentially fatal, etiquette for peace negotiations. And I could not care less. Calder glanced up, and took a worried step back. Shivers turned to look. Not angry. Not afraid.

  ‘Colonel Gorst!’ someone shouted, but Gorst ignored it, his hand closing around Shivers’ arm and pulling him close. The War Chiefs about the edge of the Children were all frowning. The giant took a huge step forwards. The man with the golden armour was calling out to the body of Carls. Another had put his hand to the hilt of his sword.

  ‘Calm, everyone!’ Calder shouted in Northern, one restraining palm up behind him. ‘Calm!’ But he looked nervous. As well he should. All our lives are balanced on a razor’s edge. And I could not care less.

  Shivers did not look as if he cared overmuch himself. He glanced down at Gorst’s gripping hand, then back up at his face, and raised the brow over his good eye.

  ‘Can I help you?’ His voice was the very opposite of Gorst’s. A gravelly whisper, harsh as millstones grinding. Gorst looked at him. Really looked. As though he could drill into his head with his eyes. That face, in the smoke. He had glimpsed it only for a moment, and masked, and without the scar. But still. He had seen it every night since, in his dreams, and in his waking, and in the twisted space between, every detail stamped into his memory. And I am almost sure.

  He could hear movement behind him. Excited voices. The officers and men of his Majesty’s Twelfth. Probably upset to have missed out on the battle. Probably almost as keen to become involved in a new chapter of it as I am myself.

  ‘Colonel Gorst!’ came Bayaz’ warning growl.

  Gorst ignored him. ‘Have you ever been …’ he hissed, ‘to Styria?’ Every part of him tingling with the desire to do violence.

  ‘Styria?’

  ‘Yes,’ snarled Gorst, gripping even harder. Calder’s two old men were creeping back in fighting crouches. ‘To Sipani.’

  ‘Sipani?’

  ‘Yes.’ The giant had taken another immense step, looming taller than the tallest of the Children. And I could not care less. ‘To Cardotti’s House of Leisure.’

  ‘Cardotti’s?’ Shivers’ good eye narrowed as he studied Gorst’s face. Time stretched out. All around them tongues licked nervously at lips, hands hovered ready to give their fatal signals, fingertips tickled at the grips of weapons. Then Shivers leaned close. Close enough almost for Gorst to kiss. Closer even than they had been to each other four years ago, in the smoke.

  If they had been.

  ‘Never heard of it.’ And he slipped his arm out of Gorst’s slack grip and strode out of the Children without a backward glance. Calder swiftly followed, and the two old men, and the War Chiefs. All letting their hands drop from their weapons with some relief or, in the case of the giant, great reluctance.

  They left Gorst standing there, in front of the table, alone. Frowning up towards the Heroes.

  Almost sure.

  Family

  In many ways the Heroes hadn’t changed since the previous night. The old stones were just as they had been, and the lichen crusted to them, and the trampled, muddied, bloodied grass inside their circle. The fires weren’t much different, nor the darkness beyond them, nor the men who sat about them. But as far as Calder was concerned, there’d been some big-arsed changes.

  Rather than dragging him in shame to his doom, Caul Shivers followed at a respectful distance, watching over his life. The
re was no scornful laughter as he strolled between the fires, no heckling and no hate. All changed the moment Black Dow’s face hit the dirt. The great War Chiefs, and their fearsome Named Men, and their hard-handed, hard-hearted, hard-headed Carls all smiled upon him as if he was the sun rising after a bastard of a winter. How soon they’d adjusted. His father always said men rarely change, except in their loyalties. Those they’ll shrug off like an old coat when it suits them.

  In spite of his splinted hand and his stitched chin, Calder didn’t have to work too hard to get the smirk onto his face now. He didn’t have to work at all. He might not have been the tallest man about, but still he was the biggest in the valley. He was the next King of the Northmen, and anyone he told to eat his shit would be doing it with a smile. He’d already decided who’d be getting the first serving.

  Caul Reachey’s laughter echoed out of the night. He sat on a log beside a fire, pipe in his hand, spluttering smoke at something some woman beside him had said. She looked around as Calder walked up and he nearly tripped over his own feet.

  ‘Husband.’ She stood, awkward from the weight of her belly, and held out one hand.

  He took it in his and it felt small, and soft, and strong. He guided it over his shoulder, and slid his arms around her, hardly feeling the pain in his battered ribs as they held each other tight, tight. For a moment it seemed as if there was no one in the Heroes but them. ‘You’re safe,’ he whispered.

  ‘No thanks to you,’ rubbing her cheek against his.

  His eyelids were stinging. ‘I … made some mistakes.’

  ‘Of course. I make all your good decisions.’

  ‘Don’t leave me alone again, then.’

  ‘I think I can say it’ll be the last time I stand hostage for you.’

  ‘So can I. That’s a promise.’ He couldn’t stop the tears coming. Some biggest man in the valley, stood weeping in front of Reachey and his Named Men. He would’ve felt a fool if he hadn’t been so glad to see her he couldn’t feel anything else. He broke away long enough to look at her face, light on one side, dark on the other, eyes with a gleam of firelight to them. Smiling at him, two little moles near the corner of her mouth he’d never noticed before. All he could think was that he didn’t deserve this.

  ‘Something wrong?’ she asked.

  ‘No. Just … wasn’t long ago I thought I’d never see your face again.’

  ‘And are you disappointed?’

  ‘I never saw anything so beautiful.’

  She bared her teeth at him. ‘Oh, they were right about you. You are a liar.’

  ‘A good liar tells as much truth as he can. That way you never know what you’re getting.’

  She took his bandaged hand in hers, turning it over, stroking it with her fingertips. ‘Are you hurt?’

  ‘Nothing to a famous champion like me.’

  She pressed his hand tighter. ‘I mean it. Are you hurt?’

  Calder winced. ‘Doubt I’ll be fighting any more duels for a while, but I’ll heal. Scale’s dead.’

  ‘I heard.’

  ‘You’re all my family, now.’ And he laid his good hand on her swollen belly. ‘Still—’

  ‘Like a sack of oats on my bladder all the way from Carleon in a lurching bloody cart? Yes.’

  He smiled through his tears. ‘The three of us.’

  ‘And my father too.’

  He looked over at Reachey, grinning at them from his log. ‘Aye. And him.’

  ‘You haven’t put it on, then?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Your father’s chain.’

  He slid it from his inside pocket, warm from being pressed close to his heart, and the diamond dropped to one side, full of the colours of fire. ‘Waiting for the right moment, maybe. Once you put it on … you can’t take it off.’ He remembered his father telling him what a weight it was. Near the end.

  ‘Why would you take it off? You’re king, now.’

  ‘Then you’re queen.’ He slipped the chain over her head. ‘And it looks better on you.’ He let the diamond drop against her chest while she dragged her hair free.

  ‘My husband goes away for a week and all he brings me is the North and everything in it?’

  ‘That’s just half your gift.’ He moved as if to kiss her and held back at the last moment, clicking his teeth together just short of her mouth. ‘I’ll give you the rest later.’

  ‘Promises, promises.’

  ‘I need to talk to your father, just for a moment.’

  ‘Talk, then.’

  ‘Alone.’

  ‘Men and their bloody chatter. Don’t keep me waiting too long.’ She leaned close, her lip tickling at his ear, her knee rubbing up against the inside of his leg, his father’s chain brushing against his shoulder. ‘I’ve a mind to kneel before the King of the Northmen.’ One fingertip brushed the scab on his chin as she stepped away, keeping his face towards her, watching him over her shoulder, waddling just a little with the weight of her belly but none the worse for that. None the worse at all. All he could think was that he didn’t deserve this.

  He shook himself and clambered to the fire, somewhat bent over since his prick was pressing up hard against the inside of his trousers, and poking a tent in Reachey’s face was no way to start a conversation. His wife’s father had shooed his grey-bearded henchmen away and was sitting alone, pressing a fresh lump of chagga down into his pipe with one thick thumb. A private little chat. Just like the one they’d had a few nights before. Only now Dow was dead, and everything was changed.

  Calder wiped the wet from his eyes as he sat beside the fire-pit. ‘She’s one of a kind, your daughter.’

  ‘I’ve heard you called a liar, but there was never a truer word said than that.’

  ‘One of a kind.’ As Calder watched her disappear into the darkness.

  ‘You’re a lucky man to have her. Remember what I told you? Wait long enough by the sea, everything you want’ll just wash up on the beach.’ Reachey tapped at the side of his head. ‘I’ve been around a while. You ought to listen to me.’

  ‘I’m listening now, aren’t I?’

  Reachey wriggled down the log, a little closer to him. ‘All right, then. A lot of my boys are restless. Had their swords drawn a long time. I could do with letting some of ’em get home to their own wives. You got a mind to take this wizard’s offer?’

  ‘Bayaz?’ Calder snorted. ‘I’ve a mind to let the lying bastard simmer. He had a deal with my father, a long time ago, and betrayed him.’

  ‘So it’s a question of revenge?’

  ‘A little, but mostly it’s good sense. If the Union had pushed on yesterday they might’ve finished us.’

  ‘Maybe. So?’

  ‘So the only reason I can see for stopping is if they had to. The Union’s a big place. Lots of borders. I reckon they’ve got other worries. I reckon every day I let that bald old fuck sit his terms’ll get better.’

  ‘Huh.’ Reachey fished a burning stick from the fire, pressed it to the bowl of his pipe, starting to grin as he got it lit. ‘You’re a clever one, Calder. A thinker. Like your father. Always said you’d make quite a leader.’

  Calder had never heard him say it. ‘Didn’t help me get here, did you?’

  ‘I told you I’d burn if I had to, but I wouldn’t set myself on fire. What was it the Bloody-Nine used to say?’

  ‘You have to be realistic.’

  ‘That’s right. Realistic. Thought you’d know that better’n most.’ Reachey’s cheeks went hollow as he sucked at his pipe, let the brown smoke curl from his mouth. ‘But now Dow’s dead, and you’ve got the North at your feet.’

  ‘You must be almost as pleased as I am with how it’s all come out.’

  ‘’Course,’ as Reachey handed the pipe over.

  ‘Your grandchildren can rule the North,’ as Calder took it.

  ‘Once you’re finished with it.’

  ‘I plan not to finish for a while.’ Calder sucked, bruised ribs aching as he breathed deep
and felt the smoke bite.

  ‘Doubt I’ll live to see it.’

  ‘Hope not.’ Calder grinned as he blew out, and they both chuckled, though there might’ve been the slightest edge on their laughter. ‘You know, I’ve been thinking about something Dow said. How if he’d wanted me dead I’d have been dead. The more I think on it, the more sense it makes.’

  Reachey shrugged. ‘Maybe Tenways tried it on his own.’

  Calder frowned at the bowl of the pipe as if thinking it over, though he’d already thought it over and decided it didn’t add. ‘Tenways saved my life in the battle yesterday. If he hated me that much he could’ve let the Union kill me and no one would’ve grumbled.’

  ‘Who knows why anyone does anything? The world’s a complicated bloody place.’

  ‘Everyone has their reasons, my father used to tell me. It’s just a question of knowing what they are. Then the world’s simple.’

  ‘Well, Black Dow’s back to the mud. And from the look o’ your sword in his head, Tenways too. I guess we’ll never know now.’

  ‘Oh, I reckon I’ve worked it out.’ Calder handed the pipe back and the old man leaned to take it. ‘It was you said Dow wanted me dead.’ Reachey’s eyes flicked up to his, just for an instant, but long enough for Calder to be sure. ‘That wasn’t altogether true, was it? It was what you might call a lie.’

  Reachey slowly sat back, puffing out smoke rings. ‘Aye, a little bit, I’ll admit. My daughter has a loving nature, Calder, and she loves you. I’ve tried explaining what a pain in the arse you are but she just ain’t hearing it. There’s naught she wouldn’t do for you. But it was getting so you and Dow weren’t seeing things at all the same way. All your talk of bloody peace making things hard for everyone. Then my daughter up and stands hostage for you? Just couldn’t have my only child at risk like that. Out of you and Dow, one had to go.’ He looked evenly at Calder, through the smoke of his pipe. ‘I’m sorry, but there it is. If it was you, well, that’s a shame, but Seff would’ve found a new man. Better still, there was always the chance you’d come out on top o’ Dow. And I’m happy to say that’s how it happened. All I wanted was the best for my blood. So I’m ashamed to admit it, but I stirred the pot between the two o’ you.’