Believed (My Misery Muse)

by Betzold, Brei

  Chapter 20

  Jules

  I climbed the stairs of the outdoor amphitheater taking deep breaths of pine and snow scented air. It’s incredible here, even my anger at that asshole yanking me around like a criminal couldn’t take away my amazement. I had been willing to go along with him back to the bus. I just refused to be yanked along, and when my sketchpad fell from my hands all I wanted to do was get it before I lost anything. Only the bully wouldn’t listen to me, he just continued to pull me away.

  So I was pissed, my sketchpad contained drawings and sketches of ideas and work people had contacted me about. It was personal and intimate. I had jewelry designs in there, along with material lists, pricing, and research. It wasn’t something I could just lose, it was months, no, years of work.

  I kept climbing the stairs, all I had wanted was to climb up here and sketch the amphitheater for a few hours. It was how I worked, I sketched things that intrigued me, then I ended up taking that intrigue and turning it into design. After I was finished here, I planned to go to the visitor trading post not far from here. I liked the idea of finding materials I could use while I was on this trip. I’d already collected things from Vegas and Salt Lake City. I wanted to see what I could find there.

  I reached the top and I sat down to take in the view. The place was amazing and massive. I took in the different views looking to see if something called to me. Finally, I found an area that beckoned me, I pulled out my phone, plugged in my ear buds, hit random, and waited for the music to start. Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade began to play softly. I pulled my charcoals from bag and got lost in the view, the words of the music pouring into my ears, the smells of Christmas trees. All of it combined into something that pulled me from the here and now into a world of possibilities lined in black and grey.

  I was pulled from my reverie when someone tugged an ear bud from my ear. I startled and jerked away. I was ready to either scream or sprint as fast as I could away when I realized Sam was sitting beside me. I pressed a hand to my chest and took calming breaths all while glaring at him.

  “Sorry,” he said watching me.

  “You suck,” I grumbled. “What do you want?”

  “You’ve been up here for hours,” he told me finally looking away from my face down at the stage that was teeming with life. “We’re almost done with the set up.”

  I rolled my shoulders trying to work out the stiffness, though it does little to help.

  “Can I see?” Sam asked gesturing at my drawing.

  I hand it to him then stand up stretching my entire body, things pop back into place and I begin to feel human again. I also realized that the temperature had dropped and I was freezing. I began packing my things away in my messenger bag, ready to head to the bus to grab a hoodie.

  “This is amazing,” Sam murmured.

  “Thank you,” I said softly.

  “I know you make jewelry,” he said eyeing me.

  I nodded.

  “Now I know you sketch, anything else?”

  “Not much, Devi tried to teach me how to paint but I never really got into it. Though I do like photography, but I’m not that good at it.”

  “You never wanted to tattoo? I mean it’s just that you work in a shop.”

  “I thought about it actually, but blood icks me out so I decided it probably wasn’t a good idea. No one wants to get a tattoo artist who passes out in the middle of the tattoo because of a little blood.”

  He laughed softly. “No, I don’t think that would be appreciated. It doesn’t bother you while working there?”

  “I can ignore it with what I do. I handle appointments, sell body jewelry, make sure the shop is stocked, things like that. I don’t have to deal with blood though.”

  He nodded. “Makes sense.”

  “They know better, the first time they had me clean up after a tattoo, I ran out of the shop so I wouldn’t puke. After that, Cris kept me away from it.”

  He smiled. “It’s not like there’s a lot of blood.”

  I shrugged. “I can handle my own, just not others.”

  He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry about earlier today, it was my fault.”

  I cocked my head to the side and looked at him. “It was your fault that guy dragged me back to the bus?”

  “Well no, it was my fault you didn’t have your badge.”

  “Ah,” I mumbled.

  “Forgive me?” he asked looking up at me with the most adorable little boy face.

  I sighed with a face like that how could I stay angry with him. “You can make it up to me,” I told him instead.

  “Name it.”

  “Take me over to the gift shop.”

  “That’s it, that’s all you want?” He asked eyeing me strangely.

  “I know it’s over here someplace, I just don’t know where exactly.”

  He nodded and stood up. “Let’s go.”

  “Can we stop by the bus first? I need a hoodie.”

  He shrugged out of his own jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Yeah, let’s go get you a jacket.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled pushing my arms through the sleeves; they were still warm from his skin. I took a deep breath and inhaled the combination of Colorado Rockies and Sam. I decided nothing had ever smelled more arousing and settling as that scent.

  Sam

  I followed Jules around the gift shop, she was bouncing from one item to the next, inspecting each of them with great concentration before moving on to the next. Watching her was amusing as well as intriguing. As we’d walked over to the shop, she’d picked up random items from rocks to leaves. All the while explaining how she used random items in her work. That was why she wanted to come here.

  I watched as she tucked a puzzle under her arm, then a few shot glasses. I didn’t see what she did, but when she found something, she would furrow her brow and bite her lip before smiling slowly. I could get used to watching this process, she was so lost in her ideas she didn’t notice anything else. When she saw a wooden box filled with native rocks that had been polished, she squealed and clapped her hands before walking swiftly over there. It took her thirty minutes going through each compartment while filling up the largest velour bag they had. I laughed as she manipulated and shoved as many rocks, crystals, and pyrite as possible.

  After she was through shopping, she put her random items down on the counter and began looking around at the items they had there. She added a few more items to her growing pile. I was tempted to offer to pay, only I didn’t think that would be appreciated. She quickly paid as well as got some quarters then we headed back to the front door. She stopped me though, when we got to a machine where you put a penny in and chose an image. Then using a crank, the machine stamped the image into the penny. I watched as she did this four times, one of each image.

  Finally, she looked up and blinked up at me, it was like she’d forgotten anyone was with her until now. She looked a bit sheepish. “Sorry.”

  “It was fun,” I said honestly. “I think I just got a dose of what it’s like to be around me when I’m working on a new song.”

  She grinned. “Nah, you’re worse.”

  “Probably,” I agreed. “How did you get into this?”

  “Into what?”

  “Making jewelry.”

  “Mom actually, she had a friend who made wire jewelry. I was interested, so she agreed to teach me. Mom was just happy I found something that kept me busy other than working at the shop. I was still getting into trouble and she was worried. Anyway, I fell in love and wanted to learn more.” She looked up at me. “I met some people and learned more, eventually I took some classes. It’s all just escalated, I’m still learning but I love it.”

  “It’s cool that she encouraged you.”

  “Didn’t your parents encourage you?” She asked frowning up at me.

  “Uh, not exactly. I mean, when I was younger they encouraged me wanting to learn to play the guitar. Just when I chose to play in a band instead
of go off to college to play football, they didn’t exactly agree.”

  She nodded and bit her lip. “That sucks, I mean they support you now though.”

  I shrugged. “I guess so, we don’t really talk about it.”

  “Huh,” she said looking confused.

  “What?”

  “It’s just that they brag about you, well both you and Max. You, the talented guitar player making it when so many don’t and your brother and his artistic abilities.”

  It was my turn to look perplexed. “I didn’t know that,” I mumbled.

  She nodded. “Your mom’s gushed to me more than once. And your dad has all your albums up on the shelf in his office at home.”

  I looked out over the Rockies and thought about what she said. I really didn’t know how my parents felt about my decision now. I mean they stopped riding my ass about it once we were signed. I just figured they realized I wasn’t going to college especially after we left for L.A. It didn’t stop the pain my father had inflicted, but it did make me think.

  Chapter 21

  Jules

  I was sitting at one of the picnic tables that were set up in the backstage area of the venue. Cris had asked me if I could do the orders for him, so I was going through the stock. I’d talked Cris into turning everything digital last year so I could see what was low and what we needed. It would have been better if I could actually see the shelves as well as the computer but he didn’t know how to use the software. No one at the shop actually knew how to use the software, despite how many times I’d argued with Cris that he needed to learn, he always said he wouldn’t need to with me around. Maybe when I got back he’d realize that it would be a good idea after all for me to teach him.

  I was going through the spreadsheets while making notes on what needed to be ordered when the table shook. I peeked up and nearly groaned aloud. Lana, from the opening band, sat there glaring at me. I had no idea what her problem was but I had a feeling she’d tell me shortly. So I just kept working ignoring her presence hoping it would piss her off.

  “I hope you don’t think this actually works,” she snapped.

  “Hmm?” I said still focusing on the sale of body jewelry for the month, I was pleased to see that the numbers had begun to rise since Haven began working at the shop.

  “That staying on their bus will make any of them want you. Ian told me about your game.”

  “My game?” I asked absently rechecking the number of sales against the inventory I had, the numbers weren’t adding up.

  “Hey, I’m talking to you,” she growled snapping her fingers in my face.

  I slowly looked up from the computer and whatever look I had on my face, made her pull her hand back quickly. Which was a smart idea on her part since I was thinking about snapping those fingers from her hand.

  “What. Do. You. Want?”

  “They’re too smart to fall for you,” she said eyeing me up and down.

  I stared at her confused. “What?”

  “I can see what you’re doing. One of them won’t fall in love with you just because you’re staying on the bus. So whatever plans you have of getting some kind of paycheck for being the band’s whore you can forget about it.”

  I continued to stare at her this time confusion morphing into incredulity. Then I bent over laughing my ass off. I was laughing so hard I was gasping for air. “Oh my god,” I gasped out.

  I finally pulled myself together and wiped my eyes from the tears that had leaked out. I flicked my wrist in her direction. “Run along.”

  She was seething mad at that point. “They see right through you.”

  “No honey, they see right through you,” I told her. “They see right through you hanging on them and thrusting your fake-ass tits in their faces, every time you think you’re being sly by rubbing up against them. They’ve been there and done that. Hell, I’ve seen better attempts on trying to get one of their attention.”

  She blanched. “And a piece of advice,” I added. “You might want to think twice before rubbing on Seth like a cat in heat, Devi puts up with it from the fan girls because she doesn’t have a choice. You, on the other hand, she won’t be so kind to.”

  She sniffed. “Like you know what you’re talking about,” she said trying to regain whatever upper hand she thought she had.

  I grinned. “Want to call her? Just give me a minute,” I told her and fished my cell phone from my messenger bag. I pulled up Devi’s number and looked over at Lana. “You want to call her or me?”

  She gaped at me. “How… how…?”

  “How do I know Seth’s wife?” I asked. “The same way I know Sam’s brother, I’m not some band fuck,” I spit out. “You might want to get your facts straight next time instead of believing whatever Ian tells you. I’ll be honest it’s not out of the realm of possibility that one of the guys will have sex with you, but don’t expect more than that from them.”

  I went back to work while she sat there like a fish out of water. I rolled my eyes when she eventually got up and walked off.

  Me: You’re a saint

  Devi: Why today?

  Me: How do you put up with all the drama bullshit?

  Devi: Ah, I wave my wedding ring around

  Me: I don’t have one of those :p

  Devi: Not yet

  Me: WTH?!?!

  I sat there for a few minutes waiting for Devi to respond but she never did. What in the hell was she talking about? I sighed and put my phone down and went back to work. Granted, there was always drama at the shop, but being here was like drama on steroids.

  I finally just ended up making the order and decided to deal with the discrepancies when I got back. Even if I called Cris to talk about it, he wouldn’t understand what I was talking about. Without standing there and looking through the cases and the shelves I wasn’t going to be able to figure out where the missing items had gone. So after I had the orders processed, I went back to the bus and got ready for tonight’s show.

  I went through my clothes and pulled out a long sleeve ink goddess shirt and a clean pair of jeans. I knew once the sun went down this place was going to get cold. So I layered up quickly then headed back into the lounge so I could snack on some of the goodies mom had sent while I waited for the guys to get back. They were off doing a meet and greet before the show. I had no interest in going to watch a crowd of women trying to seduce them.

  When I walked out of the bunk area though, I stopped. I wasn’t sure if I gasped or not but I could feel my cheeks begin to burn red. Then I squealed, “Oh My God, I need eye bleach,” and quickly covered my face. I really wanted to un-see the groupie bent over the couch while X fucked her, I never needed that image burnt into my brain.

  “Jules,” X said.

  “No, shut up,” I gasped out. I was trying not to start laughing I needed him to not give some excuse or I was going to lose it.

  “Who’s she?” A whiney voice asked.

  I slapped a hand over my mouth to cover the giggle. “No one, ignore me, I’m, uhm, just leaving.” Then I turned around and walked straight into a wall. “Ow,” I groaned and rubbed my already bruised forehead.

  “Jules, you okay?” X asked sounding amused.

  I waved my hand in the direction of the lounge. “Fine, great, yeah just leaving, again,” I said then walked through the doorway this time into the bunks. I sat down on the floor and began to giggle.

  Sam

  I walked onto the bus to find X pulling his pants up while some groupie was rearranging her skirt. I rolled my eyes and walked past the duo so I could get a bottle of Gatorade.

  “Have you seen Jules?” I asked.

  “Uhm yeah, she’s back there,” he said gesturing towards the bunks.

  I closed my eyes. “What happened?”

  “Didn’t realize she was here.”

  I groaned then took a drink. “I need to get ready.”

  “Hey you might want to take her an ice pack,” X called.

  “Why?”

>   “She kinda ran into the wall.”

  “That girl is a threat to herself,” I mumbled to myself then grabbed an ice pack. I’d had Ian stock the freezer up. With Jules around, we needed that along with a fully stocked first aid kit.

  I walked through the curtain and found Jules sitting on the floor; she looked up at me and her cheeks turned pink. I squatted down beside her and brushed her hair off her forehead gently.

  “Heard you had a rough day?” I murmured looking at her bruise, it had begun to lighten up but I could already see where areas were more swollen from today’s incident. I gently pressed the ice pack to her forehead.

  “You need to be more careful,” I whispered looking down into her purple eyes.

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  “What happened?”

  “I walked in on,” she waved towards the lounge, “so I closed my eyes and turned to leave then walked into a wall.”

  I ran a finger down her soft cheek and watched as her eyes fluttered closed. It would be so easy to lean down and kiss her. I really wanted to kiss her. I watched as her cheeks once again turned that gorgeous shade of pink. Only this time I didn’t think it had anything to do with embarrassment.

  “Sam,” she whispered.

  “Hmm,” I said running the calloused pad of my finger along the soft cheek I leaned down closer to her plump slightly abused red lips. I watched as she pulled her lip ring into her mouth and groaned. I leaned farther down and gently bit her bottom lip, I’d seen her abuse this lip more than once and had imagined being the one to bite it for a change. I ran my tongue across the abraded skin before pressing my lips against hers.