Miriam's Quilt

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  “Hath no man condemned thee?…Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

  “And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

  Dat seemed to sense her arrival before she even came down the lane. He dashed out of the house as she drove up and opened the buggy door for her. He offered his hand and helped her down.

  “I will unhitch. Go inside and eat some apricot pie. Mom bought ice cream.”

  “You do not need to do my work for me.”

  “I want to. You never rest, Miriam. Go, give your brother a hug. He will not take one from me.”

  It would take some time before Yost trusted Dat again.

  With heavy heart, Miriam trudged to the house. She actually heard laughter inside. Susie’s laughter. How long had it been?

  When she came through the back door, Susie jumped up from the table, grinning widely, and gave Miriam a hug. “The pie is so gute, Miriam. The first apricots from our new tree.”

  “I cannot believe how many apricots grew from that one little tree,” Mamm said. “I put up two dozen quarts today while you were at work.”

  Even Yost sat at the table eating with the family, looking relatively cheerful as he dug into what looked like a quarter of the whole pie.

  “Guess who made the pie,” said Raymond, with a dab of ice cream on his chin.

  “Who?”

  Raymond pointed at Susie.

  Miriam threw her hands in the air in jubilation. “Susie made the pie? I must have some.”

  Susie’s eyes lit up as if she had fireflies inside. “Sit down and I will bring you a piece. Do you want ice cream?”

  Miriam observed Susie closely as she moved around the kitchen serving her family, giving them her gift. She was still pregnant, still guilty of a serious sin, but she acted as if all was right with the world, as if being in the place she loved made her perfectly happy.

  Miriam’s heart swelled. Susie had hope again.

  Did she take her sin lightly? Did she believe that what she had done wasn’t so bad? Was Ephraim right? Did she see her being allowed to stay as a sign that her parents approved of what she had done?

  Nae, Susie did not excuse or justify herself in any way. How many nights had Miriam heard her weep over what she had done, wishing with all her might to be able to go back and change it? Neither did she seek to hide her sin. The whole world was about to know what she had done, while they would know nothing about the father. Susie didn’t have a heart for malice or revenge.

  If only Ephraim could see.

  She took a bite of pie. “This is surely the most delicious pie I have ever tasted.”

  Susie blushed. “The secret is in the dough. And Hollow says I am the best pretzel maker in Apple Lake.”

  Try as she might, Miriam could not justify making Susie miserable, not even to spare Ephraim’s feelings. And certainly not to satisfy Ephraim’s pride.

  * * * * *

  Later, Miriam lifted Ephraim’s completed Nine-Patch squares from her sewing basket and arranged them on the floor of her room. She organized the squares so the yellow-and-burgundy patches alternated diagonally from left to right and right to left. Ephraim would love the orderly pattern.

  After gathering up her blocks, she pinned the squares of each row together. If she had time this weekend, she would begin sewing them together.

  Fingering the tan fabric, Miriam thought of Ephraim’s tortured face. She wished he would accept her comfort. Like a violent thunderstorm, the trouble that now seemed so big would blow over and Ephraim would rejoice in Susie’s happiness. Time would heal all things and bring her and her dearest love closer to their wedding day.

  She couldn’t wait.

  Chapter 15

  “My legs feel like jelly,” Susie said as she stumbled up the steps.

  Mamm took a deep breath. “I’m shaking like a leaf.”

  Miriam, Mamm, and Susie looked like a parade as they marched single file up the steps to Aunt Emma’s house for a quilting frolic. Miriam carried her basket of sewing supplies while Mamm followed with a pot of cheeseburger soup for dinner and Susie took up the rear with an apricot pie in each hand.

  Miriam’s heart felt likely to pound out of her chest. Once they’d made the decision last night that Susie would stay in Apple Lake, they agreed that it would be best to break the news of Susie’s pregnancy to the aunts and cousins first and let word spread from there. Susie had not been baptized yet, so she would not be shunned, but they thought it unwise to leave everyone guessing as she grew bigger and rounder. Better to get the bad news out in the open and give the community a chance to adjust before the baby came. Neither of the aunts had loose lips and most of the cousins would be silent, but Ada, cousin Aaron’s wife and Bishop Schwartz’s daughter, was a notorious gossip. By sundown tomorrow, not one person in the community would be left in the dark.

  Dat had agreed to miss work and stay home with Yost, who was still under house arrest. When Susie made her confession to the relatives, Yost’s presence would be unwelcome at best.

  Aunt Emma threw the door open and let out that little squeal she used whenever she saw one of her relatives. “Bless my soul, it is the Bontragers!” She gave her sister and then the nieces a hug. “I am especially glad Miriam and Susie are come. We need better quilters than me if we are to finish this quilt today. Mary and Kate and Ada are already here. We expect Erla and her girls any time now.”

  Mary waved from the kitchen, where she fed her baby in his high chair. Kate rushed forward to hug her cousins. “It is so good to see you.” Glancing at Ada, who sat on the sofa with her feet propped on a stool, she pulled Miriam close and whispered into her ear. “Nathaniel and I pray for Yost every day. How is he doing?”

  Miriam gripped her basket. “It has been hard, but we are through the worst, Lord willing. Yost is not happy, but at the moment, he is compliant. That is something.”

  Even at four years older, Kate had always been one of Miriam’s favorite cousins. Before she’d married Nathaniel, Kate had thought of jumping the fence herself. She’d even gone to music school before, as she told it, Nathaniel made himself completely irresistible and she couldn’t tell him no.

  When Kate left Apple Lake for college, Ephraim expressed concern for her soul, and Miriam spent many nights praying that Kate would choose baptism and come back home.

  “And how are you?” Miriam said. “Still feeling like a newlywed?”

  Kate’s eyes shone. “Every morning I wake up and think, ‘I can’t believe I am married to this man.’ Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over.”

  “I have never seen two people as happy as you and Nathaniel.”

  “Have you kept track of Rebecca and Levi? They look as if they are floating six inches off the ground.”

  “Is she coming today?”

  “Jah, with her mamm, if she can stand to be away from Levi for more than three minutes.”

  They laughed. Oh, the joy of being so deeply in love!

  Aunt Emma and Mary brought the quilt frames from the shed. “Miriam and Ada, will you set it up at two of the corners?”

  Ada shifted her weight on the sofa. “My back is giving me mighty trouble, Mamm Weaver.”

  “Cum, Susie,” Aunt Emma said. “Take the end, will you?”

  Four of them positioned the stands in four corners of the room and lay the boards across them. Everyone but Ada surrounded the outside of the boards and stretched and tacked the backing onto the frames. Then came the thin batting and the quilt top over that. Keeping a close eye on the center seams, they tacked the quilt top to the frames, readying it for the tiny stitches that were the hallmark of every Amish quilt.

  Cousins Rebecca and Linda came through the door just then with their mamm leaning heavily on their arms. Aunt Erla suffered from arthritis that kept her homebound most of the time. It was a good day when she could attend a get-together.

  Aunt Emma squeale
d her greeting as Rebecca and Linda led Aunt Erla to the overstuffed sofa and helped her sit. Rebecca fluffed a pillow to put behind her mother’s back while Linda removed Aunt Erla’s shoes and got another pillow for her feet.

  “Denki, girls. Now go quilt. I will be fine,” Aunt Erla encouraged.

  Rebecca hugged everyone in sight while Linda made a beeline for Susie. They were the same age, but Susie was about to grow up very fast.

  “I must warn everyone; I am a terrible quilter,” Rebecca said as Aunt Emma threaded needles.

  “You are a fine quilter,” Miriam insisted. “You simply don’t like to quilt.”

  Linda picked up a needle. “She will hardly get a stitch in. All she does is moon over her new husband all day long.”

  Sunbeams flashed in Rebecca’s eyes as she smiled. “I have the most handsome husband in the world.”

  Kate propped her hands on her hips and grinned. “I think not. There is no one Nathaniel’s equal.”

  Ada turned up her nose. “It is vanity to say such things, but as sure as you’re born, my Aaron has a finer countenance than either of them.”

  “There will be no argument about this,” Aunt Emma said. “Solomon is the handsomest man alive, and I can prove it.”

  “And how is that?” Aunt Erla said.

  Aunt Emma stretched out her arms and put her fingers together in front of her, pantomiming Uncle Solomon’s protruding stomach. “There is more of him to love.”

  Miriam joined in the laughter, but she couldn’t be completely comfortable. There was still the revelation they must make about Susie’s baby. The unpleasant truth would surely put a damper on the quilting party.

  Aunt Emma glided toward the kitchen. “Before we start, we have an announcement to make. Wait here.”

  Miriam held her breath. The perfect opportunity for Susie to make an announcement of her own had come.

  Aunt Emma returned carrying a small cake frosted in yellow with a tiny candle burning on the top. She tilted the cake so everyone could see the writing.

  “B–A–B–Y,” it read in big orange-frosting letters.

  “I am going to have a baby in December,” Kate blurted out, her face the picture of happiness.

  Linda squealed and clapped her hands. Others sighed and cooed and congratulated Kate on her good news.

  Miriam glanced at Mamm. Would Susie’s revelation spoil this wonderful moment for Kate? Perhaps waiting for a better time would be wise.

  Susie made up their minds for them as she promptly burst into tears and fled out the front door.

  The room fell into shocked silence. Aunt Emma stared wide-eyed at Mamm. “What is wrong?”

  Mamm chased after Susie, leaving Miriam to face the curious eyes alone. She chose to be cowardly. “Will you forgive me? I will be right back.” She promptly turned tail and marched through the door.

  Mamm stood on the porch, embracing Susie while she moaned her grief. “That is how a baby should be brought into the world—with a cake and candles and a mother and father who love each other. Nobody is going to think my baby is good news.”

  Mamm smoothed a hand over Susie’s kapp. “Let’s go home. We can tell them you don’t feel well and try this another day.”

  The heaviness in Miriam’s heart grew like a pile of stones. What advice would Seth give her? At this moment, she needed his clear thinking. She imagined his gray eyes gleaming with sympathy for Susie’s distress. He would want Miriam to do what was best for Susie.

  “What do you want to do, Susie?”

  Susie sniffled softly. “What do you think I should do?”

  “You decide. It is your secret to tell when you want to tell it.”

  Susie looked at Miriam as if making a decision were the strangest idea in the world. “I don’t know.” She pulled a hanky from her apron and mopped her face. “I am afraid this will get harder the longer I put it off, but I don’t want to spoil Kate’s happy day.”

  “Her good news is still good,” Mamm said.

  “How I wish I could go back and change that one foolish decision. Sin brings nothing but misery.” She wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and squared her shoulders. “I will tell them.”

  Mamm and Miriam followed her into the house, where the aunts and cousins waited in silence.

  Susie motioned for everyone to sit as she stood behind the sofa and leaned on the back for support. “First of all,” she said, “I want to apologize to Kate for ruining her wonderful news. I am very, very happy for you.”

  Kate rubbed her hand over the quilt. “You haven’t ruined anything.”

  “I am here to ask your forgiveness of my sin.” Susie clutched the back of the sofa. “The truth is, I am going to have a baby too.”

  The silence doubled in volume. No one moved.

  “I have made a terrible mistake,” Susie said, as her tears reappeared and splashed like rain on the back of the sofa.

  “And no husband,” Ada murmured, pursing her lips and looking around the room for others to join her in disapproval.

  Linda and Rebecca glanced at each other before lowering their gazes to the floor. Kate, with distress evident in her eyes, touched her mother’s arm and then covered her mouth with her hand.

  Susie forced out her next words through uncontrollable sobbing. “I’m so ashamed.”

  Aunt Emma shook off her shock like shedding a coat on a hot summer day. “Oh, my poor little girl, come here right now.” She jumped from her chair and saved Susie the trouble of taking a step. Enfolding Susie in her arms as only a mother could, she said, “We love you no matter what.”

  “Thank you,” Susie said between sobs.

  Soon Kate, Mary, Rebecca, and Linda surrounded their cousin in a five-person hug. Even Aunt Erla, who didn’t move from the couch, took Susie’s hand and squeezed it as tightly as she could with her gnarled fingers.

  Only Ada stayed put with her feet still propped on the stool. She looked as if she had eaten a fat, juicy slug.

  Aunt Emma pulled away from Susie and patted her cheek. “What a brave girl you are to share the news. We all want to help you. When is the baby coming?”

  “December,” Susie said. “Like Kate’s. But it will be a blessing when her baby is born.”

  “Every baby comes into this world by God’s grace,” Aunt Erla said. “We will rejoice for both.”

  Ada seemed to explode from the sofa. “I am sorry to have to chastise you, but rejoicing at a time like this is improper. This girl has committed a grave sin. We do not rejoice over wickedness.”

  Aunt Emma lifted her chin. “We rejoice over a baby, Ada. Susie has already owned up to her sins. I am sure she has suffered through weeks of grief. Am I right, Susie?”

  Susie nodded.

  Aunt Emma nodded back. “It is time for repair, not condemnation.”

  “It is time for repentance,” Ada said. She grabbed her sewing basket from the table and her bonnet from the hook. “I won’t be back.”

  They stared at her as she huffed and puffed out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

  Mary bounced her baby on her hip. “Ada must feel the need to rush home and repent.”

  Either that or spread the news to at least twelve neighbors by bedtime. Miriam thought of Ephraim and her heart skipped a beat. He would soon hear the news from somebody besides her. There was no stopping Ada now.

  Once Ada marched through the door, they seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief and quickly forgot that she had been there.

  “How are you feeling?” Mary asked. “Any morning sickness?”

  Susie laid a hand on her stomach. “A little. Ginger pills help.”

  Kate took Susie by the arm and led her to Ada’s place on the sofa. “What will you do once the baby is born?”

  Susie frowned. “I do not know. I want my baby to have a gute home, but right now I cannot face giving it up.”

  Aunt Erla patted Susie’s hand. “You will know what to do when the time is right, Lord willing.”

 
“Lord willing,” Susie said.

  Mary handed her baby to her mamm. “In the meantime, we have a quilt to make. But if any of you feel like crying, step away from the fabric. I will not stand for tears on my new bedspread.”

  Chapter 16

  “There she is. Don’t stare.”

  Miriam turned to see who was behind her, but whoever it was had disappeared behind the row of buggies in the lane. She went around to the back of the house.

  Miriam had arrived at the Wengerds’ alone, on foot. Thick, ancient maples towered above the broad lawn where two volleyball nets stood side by side. Three long tables set with lemonade, cookies, pretzels, and pickles awaited hungry teenagers.

  Yost was confined to house arrest for three more days, and with the news of Susie’s baby still fresh, Mamm and Dat thought it best that Susie stay home and away from curious eyes tonight. The time for her return would come soon enough. Let the community adjust first.

  With some anxiety, Miriam decided to attend the gathering. People were bound to be offended or downright hostile to her, as Susie’s sister. But she swallowed her pride and determined that the Bontragers would not live in the shadows. They belonged to the community, and the community should be given a chance to accept them, warts and all.

  More than anything else, Miriam knew she must set things right with Ephraim tonight. He deserved to know why events had not gone as he’d hoped. She knew she could make him understand. People were always more important than what they had done. Just as Seth said.

  Miriam scanned the milling crowd as she stepped into the backyard. Seth had talked Laura into coming after all. They stood together on the lawn, playing volleyball. Miriam smiled as Seth hit the ball and launched it high into the air. His teammates gasped and squealed as it landed twenty feet behind him, barely missing the snack tables.

  “Seth, we know you have muscles. No need to show us how strong you are,” Peter Wengerd called.

  Both teams laughed.

  Seth sprinted to retrieve the ball and then served it over the net as he ran back to his place.

  Miriam saw Ephraim in the corner of the yard farthest from her, sitting with a group of boys. High-pitched noises came from their direction as they pulled grass and used the blades as whistles. Miriam wanted to march straight to Ephraim with her explanation, but it wasn’t a good idea while he was surrounded by his friends. Surely they could find some time later to be alone.