Miriam's Quilt

by Jennifer Beckstrand

  Once the lamps were lit, Miriam dusted the counters and swept while Martha gave her customers a guided tour of the shop. Four more people came in the shop. It looked to be a busy morning.

  Miriam massaged her temples and tried to focus her thoughts on work instead of her family troubles. When she returned home last night, Yost was not there. She had shut herself in her bedroom under the pretense of working on Seth’s quilt so she would not have to face Yost when he did come home. What would she say to him? Or should she say nothing? She knew she could not see him without lashing out. Best to cool off first so she wouldn’t say something she regretted later about his disgraceful behavior.

  Miriam clenched her teeth. Why did she need to figure out how not to offend Yost, when he made all the trouble? He didn’t deserve special treatment. He deserved a good, swift kick in the hinnerdale.

  “Miriam, will you wrap this quilt for Mrs. Dustin?”

  Miriam snapped to attention. Enough of the self-indulgence at work. She went to the counter and Martha carefully handed her the thousand-dollar quilt that used to hang in the front window. Appliquéd with a circle of roses and lilies, it read “I AM THE ROSE OF SHARON.”

  “It will go great in the guest room,” the man said as Martha rang up his purchase and took his credit card. “They’ll think they stepped back in time.”

  Miriam cleaned her hands thoroughly with a wet sanitary wipe before gently enfolding the quilt in crinkly, white tissue paper and placing it in a large gift box perfect for travel.

  Her packing job pleased the man. “I like how you handled that quilt. A work of art shouldn’t be stuffed in a plastic bag with groceries.”

  Miriam smiled. “Something this precious requires great care. It will give you years of pleasure, Lord willing.”

  She came around the counter and handed the man his box. He thanked her, and he and his family walked out the door. Martha squealed quietly and gave Miriam a swift hug. “Open ten minutes and already made a thousand dollars. What a happy day.”

  The little bell on the door tinkled faintly and Laura, with a red face and moist eyes, hurried into the store. She caught sight of Miriam immediately and came to her, agitated and breathless. “I am sorry to bother you at work,” she said, glancing at Martha. “But is there any way you could leave for a few minutes?”

  Laura’s wild expression sent Miriam’s heart racing. Whatever the matter, it wasn’t good news. “What’s wrong?”

  Laura wrung her hands together. “Seth has been hurt.”

  Miriam’s heart almost leaped out of her chest. “What happened? Is he okay?”

  Laura grabbed Miriam’s hand. “He just got home. I hate to impose like this, but you are so important to Seth. And—and I need your help. I am supposed to leave for school tomorrow, but how can I abandon him like this? Tell me what I should do.”

  Miriam tried to comfort Laura even as her own panic threatened to eat her up. She squeezed Laura’s hand. “It’s going to be all right. Everything is going to be gute, Lord willing.” She turned to look at Martha.

  Martha shooed them out the door. “Go. I will manage here.”

  The buggy sat just outside the shop. They jumped in and started down the road before Miriam had time to gather her scattered wits.

  “How is Seth? Do we need to take him to the hospital?”

  “He has been at the hospital all night. Once they put a cast on his arm, he refused to stay longer and the policeman brought him home.”

  “The police?”

  By this time, tears made trails down Laura’s cheeks. “Seth won’t say a word about what happened. It aggravates me how forgiving he is. He walked home from the stable really late last night, and the policeman told me that a truck driver spotted three boys at the side of the road beating up on him.”

  Miriam gasped.

  “The driver honked his horn and scared the boys away. He didn’t get a good look but thought one or two of them were Amish. I can’t believe it. No Amish boy would do something like this.”

  Miriam felt as if she had been thrown from a horse. The world started to spin and she cradled her head in her hands. She knew exactly who those boys were, those boys dressed as Amish.

  Never in her life had she found it so difficult to speak. “How badly did they hurt him?”

  “He says it’s nothing. He is so long-suffering, I hate it. But his arm is broken and there are bruises on his face, and he can’t stand up straight. When he got home, I sent him straight to bed. Even Ellie is concerned. She’s making him chicken soup. Pookie didn’t bark at him once, and Pookie always barks at him. That stupid dog whined and ran off with his tail between his legs.” Laura snapped the reins. “Who would do such a thing to Seth? He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.”

  With her head still in her hands, Miriam squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to cry. Yost had gone beyond anything she ever thought possible. She hadn’t believed things could get any worse. As they came closer and closer to the Lambrights’ house, Miriam let her screams echo inside her head.

  Take me home! Take me home right now!

  Knowing what Yost had done, she couldn’t bear to look Seth in the eyes again.

  How he must hate her!

  The buggy seemed to fly down the road, and Miriam’s sense of dread deepened with each mile. Once they reached the house, Miriam felt as heavy as a pile of stones.

  Laura grabbed Miriam’s hand and pulled her across the yard and the fourteen flagstones. They blew through the door, passed Ellie in the kitchen tending to her soup, and went straight to Seth’s bedroom, which was set off from the washroom on the main floor and almost as small as his room at the stable.

  Miriam thought it wasn’t possible for her to feel any worse, but when she saw Seth, an icy hand wrapped itself around her throat and she ceased breathing. He lay on his bed with his eyes closed and work boots still on his feet. His face shone ashen white except for three large purple bruises on his left cheek and jaw, and his left arm rested at his side with a cast up to the armpit.

  They tiptoed into the room, but Seth immediately opened his eyes. His gaze flew to Miriam’s face, and he pressed his lips into a hard line.

  Miriam understood the look. She wanted to crawl into a dark hole.

  “Laura,” Seth whispered, “the upset multiplies, the more people you bring into it.”

  Laura plopped her hands on her hips. “Oh, and you don’t think news of the attack will be all over the district by dinnertime? Miriam is your friend. I thought she would want to be told first.”

  He furrowed his brow. “What have you told her?”

  “What do you think?”

  Seth studied Miriam’s face. Even though she thought she could never look him in the eyes again, she returned his gaze and hoped he would recognize the regret she wanted to communicate.

  His lip twitched almost imperceptibly, and his eyes darkened to coal.

  He knew. He knew that she knew.

  His entire face became a looming storm. “Miriam, I am okay. Do not concern yourself about this for one minute. It is nothing,” he said with such intensity that he practically growled.

  “Don’t concern yourself that your brother just broke my arm and put me in the hospital.”

  Miriam shook her head.

  Seth must not have liked what he saw on her face. He shifted painfully on the bed and propped himself up on his good elbow. “Laura, do you think I could speak with Miriam alone?”

  Laura twisted her lips and studied both of them suspiciously. “Why?”

  “We want to discuss your future,” Seth said dryly, before turning his eyes to Miriam and becoming serious again.

  “That should take about thirty seconds.” Laura glanced at Miriam doubtfully before shutting the door behind her.

  Seth fell back onto his pillow like an old man on his deathbed. He closed his eyes momentarily, and Miriam watched pain travel across his face.

  She scooted a short stool next to his bed and laid a hand over his
arm. She felt him tense beneath her touch and, in dismay, withdrew her hand. Her need for forgiveness ached like hunger deep in the pit of her stomach. “I am so sorry.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I am so ashamed.”

  Concern flashed in his eyes. “This is why I did not want you to know. I cannot stand to see you so upset. It is worse than the physical pain. Yost does not have a cruel heart. He is young and easily influenced by other boys. They wanted to scare me, not hurt me.”

  Miriam hated facing up to the monster her brother had become. “They broke your arm.”

  “Nae, I tripped while running away.”

  That revelation did nothing to diminish her distress. Miriam felt as low as ever. “I promise that no one in my family will bother you again. I’ll see to that.”

  The clouds darkened on his face. “Don’t say that, Miriam.”

  Seth deserved to be free of the Bontragers forever. The thought of never going to his stable again made her want to cry, but for once she would be unselfish. For Seth.

  “I’ll go now,” she said.

  “When will you come back?”

  “You don’t want me to come back.”

  “Jah, I do.” He pinned her with a stare. “More than anything.”

  “Why? My brother has—”

  “You don’t know me very well if you think anything that Yost could do would make me reject you. I think I’d die without you. Is that enough motivation to come back?”

  “Die without you?”

  His declaration briefly stunned her. “You don’t hate me?”

  “How could I?”

  Relief washed over Miriam like waves on the lakeshore. “I don’t deserve your kindness.”

  “Now you are talking hogwash.” The elusive dimple appeared on his face, sending a warm sensation tingling into Miriam’s fingers.

  Laura opened the door and came into the room.

  “What should we do about Laura?” Seth said. “She has this crazy notion to miss first semester and take care of me. You’ve got to talk her out of that right quick.”

  “And leave a cripple to care for the horses?” Laura wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. “You are more important than college. You’ve got to get that house started before it’s too cold, and now you won’t be able to work at the mill.”

  “I can walk fine. And the cast comes off in eight weeks.” He pointed at her with an intense gaze. “You will not miss college.”

  “And who will take care of the boys and Scilla? And your horses?”

  “Jacob and Joshua can manage things today. I’ll be at the stable tomorrow.”

  “With one arm?” Miriam said.

  Seth lifted his good arm and gasped in pain. He tried to hide it by clearing his throat. “One arm is better than none. I am already feeling better.”

  Miriam prepared for resistance. “Better? Jah. I am coming to the stable to help every day.”

  “You have your own chores and a job. I refuse to be a burden to anyone.”

  “If I postpone my trip one week,” Laura said, “I will only miss freshman orientation and a couple of days of classes. By then you won’t be walking around like an old man with arthritis.”

  Miriam shook her head.

  Seth did too. “Absolutely not. If anyone needs orientation, it’s a girl who doesn’t even know how to drive a car.”

  “He’s right, Laura. You have been waiting for this day for five years. Let me help. At the very least, Seth can sit on a lawn chair at the stable and tell me what to do.”

  A ghost of a smile flitted across Laura’s lips. “You mean, boss you around.”

  Seth shook his head again. “I can’t ask you to—”

  “You are not asking,” Miriam said. “I am telling you. I know more about horses than you, and you can’t stop me. I can run faster than a one-armed man.”

  Seth curved his mouth in mock indignation. “More about horses than me? Now, wait a minute. That’s going a bit too far.”

  If it weren’t for the nagging emptiness in Miriam’s stomach, Seth’s expression might have made her smile. “I’ll be by first thing in the morning.”

  Seth smiled in surrender and shrugged his shoulders. The movement made him catch his breath. When Laura and Miriam leaned toward him in concern, he weakly waved them away. “I’m fine. Feeling better already.”

  * * * * *

  After hanging her bonnet on the hook, Miriam marched to the kitchen to see if she could help Mamm with supper.

  It seemed as if a month had passed instead of just the day. Work had rolled on like a dream Miriam couldn’t quite recall. Neither she nor Martha knew the reason for the steady stream of customers, but today had been one of their best days of the year.

  Mamm rolled out dough on the counter while Susie and Hollow sat at the table cutting out biscuits and putting them on the baking pan.

  Susie looked good today, more lively and cheerful. She grinned and teased Hollow about his pathetic pieces of biscuit dough. “If you pick them up like that, they will fall apart. You’ll not have a gute circle.”

  Hollow laughed and placed his blob of dough on the pan. “They taste the same no matter how they look.”

  “Tell that to your pretzel customers,” Susie said.

  Mamm looked at Miriam and winked. “Miriam, my dear, how was work?”

  Susie jumped up from her seat and wiped her hands on the towel tied around her waist. “Did you hear about Seth Lambright? Isn’t it terrible?”

  Miriam felt her face get hot. “Jah. I went to visit him.”

  “Visit him? During work?” Mamm asked.

  “Martha let me duck out for a few minutes. His face is bruised, and the cast goes up to his shoulder. I didn’t see any other injuries, but he can barely move for the soreness.”

  “I am sorry to think that one of our own cannot even walk on the back roads and be safe,” Mamm said.

  Susie went to the sink to wash her hands. “It wonders me who would do such a thing. He had no money to steal.”

  Miriam forced herself to breathe normally, when she wanted to cry out.

  “Will he be down for long?” Mamm asked.

  “He is in a lot of pain, but he is determined to be at his stable tomorrow, Lord willing.”

  Mamm pointed her rolling pin at Miriam. “No one would doubt that he is a gute worker. Nothing wrong with that. A man who knows how to work will never see his children go hungry.”

  “I can go in the evening to help,” Hollow said. “Tell him, won’t you?”

  Miriam smiled faintly. “Oh Hollow, you are so kind.” Kinder than some of my own family.

  Yost appeared in the kitchen with his shoulders slumped and dark circles under his eyes. He frowned at Miriam, and the lines etched on his face made him seem like an old man with years of sorrow behind him. Miriam had never seen him look so deathly.

  Her pulse raced, and the shame inside her exploded. She couldn’t bear to look at him, knowing what he had done, knowing the black heart that lived inside her brother.

  Without a word, she spun around, stormed out the back door, and walked across the yard. Before she knew it, she ended up at the swing by the barn.

  Plopping herself on the seat, she balled her hands into fists and tried to quell the sense of humiliation and anger that had overtaken her so suddenly. How dare he stand so innocently in the kitchen, expecting to be fed and cared for and loved, when less than twenty-four hours ago he had put another man in the hospital? How could she live in the same house with him—a daily reminder of the violence Seth endured?

  That was why her parents must never know what Yost did. The truth would break Mamm’s heart, and Dat would never recover from such a blow.

  She would stay away from Yost as best as she could until…until what? Until the bruises faded from Seth’s face and the cast came off and she could look at her brother without feeling a sick emptiness in her stomach.

  The way she felt now, she might be waiting until
the end of her days.

  Chapter 22

  “I can’t believe I let you help me carry this. You can barely walk,” Laura said.

  Early the next morning before dawn, Seth and Laura carried her monstrous trunk down the stairs together. Seth couldn’t manage it with one hand, and Dat was sleeping in. With every step, Seth bit his tongue and fought the urge to groan and collapse into a heap. The pain proved excruciating—worse than yesterday. Every muscle felt as tight as a wire and as stiff as a board. Laura had been right. He walked like an aged man with a serious case of rheumatism.

  But Seth wouldn’t let Laura see the pain. This was her day, the day she became her own person, and Seth refused to overshadow it. In no case must she worry about her troublesome brother.

  Her excitement showed in every movement, the casual curve of her lips, and the sparkle in her eyes. She wore new jeans with a bright red T-shirt that said BADGERS across the front—a present from her friend Britny. She hadn’t cut her hair but wore it in a high ponytail. Even up like that, it reached to her waist. Seth suspected that the long locks would be the first thing to go at school.

  The longing tugged at him like it always did when he contemplated Laura’s absence. She was his sounding board, his best friend. What would he do without her?

  If Mamm were alive, Laura wouldn’t be leaving. Neither would Seth have to shield his siblings from their stepmother or watch every penny like a miser to help support his family.

  The familiar stab of regret. If his mamm were still alive…

  Seth and Laura stood together by the side of the road and waited for Laura’s ride. Britny’s parents were driving them down and helping them move in. A confirmation that Seth couldn’t be there for his sister this time. He relied on the kindness of strangers to see her through.

  Laura hooked her thumbs in her back pockets and smiled at Seth. Her eyes danced even in the dimness of early sunrise. “Well,” she said, “this is it. I’m either going to float off the ground any minute or throw up on your boots.”

  “Please, no throwing up. I oiled these boots three days ago.”