Facing the World

by Grace Thompson

  In her loud, imperious voice she asked for scones and tea and a drink for Sadie. A huge red-haired man dressed in overalls with a clean, open-necked shirt showing at his beefy neck, scraped back his chair and stood up. Sally stared in alarm. Then the man smiled, showing perfect white teeth and said, ‘I’m afraid you have to go to the counter to order and pay, miss.’

  ‘What? How ridiculous!’

  ‘Tell me what you want and I’ll ask them, shall I?’

  ‘Thank you.’ He went to whisper something to the woman behind the counter, who came, with an amused look in her eyes, took her order then held out her hand for the money.

  The scones were very good and there was a generous amount of jam and cream. Sadie ate all of hers with Amy’s help and, when they stood to leave, to Sally’s surprise Amy went to the counter and thanked the woman for a delicious snack. She also thanked the man who had helped her to order.

  Amy was laughing as they went back to the car. ‘Shout loud enough and someone will help, even if it’s simply to shut you up,’ she said as she unlocked the car.

  Sally’s mood was lifted by the brief incident and she chattered to Amy for the rest of the journey while Sadie slept. They were almost home when the car began to make strange sounds. It spluttered, moved, slowed down and finally stopped.

  ‘I can’t believe this,’ Amy gasped. ‘I’m out of petrol! How can that be? I always fill up each month and I rarely need to bother between times.’ She looked up and down the road. ‘No phone box, of course. Typical!’

  A lorry rumbled into view on the same side of the road and, seeing Amy standing beside her car, he stopped. ‘Blimey, miss, you do seem to find trouble, don’t you?’ It was the red-haired giant from the café.

  He parked his vehicle and strode over. After discussing the problem he said, ‘There’s a garage not far ahead. Stay here and I’ll take a can and bring some petrol back.’ He reached into the cab and brought out a two-gallon can and, waving it, he strode off and was soon out of sight.

  Sally slid the sleeping child on to the back seat and stood outside with Amy. They heard a car approaching and stepped back between the lorry and the car. The car driver slowed and seemed about to stop and offer help but then he put his foot down, the tyres squealing as he drove quickly away.

  ‘Did you see who that was?’ Amy asked.

  ‘I thought it was David Gorse, but it couldn’t have been him. He doesn’t have a car.’

  ‘I didn’t see the driver but I’m sure the car belongs to the hairdresser. Christine, she calls herself although her name is Margaret. How very odd.’

  ‘Perhaps we were both wrong,’ Sally replied doubtfully.

  ‘I’m sure about the car – it has a stupid curtain in the side window. Dangerous. According to Rick, anything that impedes the driver’s view is a silly idea. I don’t go to her of course. My hairdresser is Olivier’s, in Cardiff.’

  ‘Very expensive.’

  ‘If you settle for second best that’s what you always have!’ She looked at Sally thoughtfully. ‘Like cleaning floors when you could do something more interesting – and better paid.’

  The lorry driver returned with the petrol for which Amy paid him, and a bar of chocolate, ‘For the little girl when she wakes,’ he said, handing the treat to Amy.

  ‘She isn’t mine!’ Amy protested, horrified, and Sally took the chocolate and thanked him.

  It had been a tiring day and once Sadie was settled into bed, Sally sat for a long time wondering about Rhys and why he had failed her. She tried to think about her future which was all up to her; she was on her own and had to face it. Amy’s words about accepting second best wouldn’t leave her mind and at 1 a.m., when she was still sitting beside an electric fire in the silent house, she came to a decision.

  Before Rhys and Sadie, she had lived in a smart flat in a pleasant area and had earned enough to live comfortably. Surely there was no reason why she couldn’t go back to what she did best? She had been a buyer of fashionable clothes and accessories for a chain of stores in South Wales and beyond. The job had taken her to many other towns as exhibitions and clothes shows had led her to find new and exciting additions to her ranges. Nothing had changed apart from her own attitude. She smiled then as she remembered another of Amy’s rules for life. Speak loudly and with confidence if you want to be noticed.

  Wide awake, she reached for the newspaper and began thumbing down the vacancies column. There were very few vacancies in the fashion business apart from sales ladies and she knew that, as Amy had advised, she needed to avoid accepting second-rate choices and aim high. She was still buzzing with excitement an hour later but eventually slept. When the morning alarm woke her, her mind was filled with ideas.

  Firstly she had to talk to Valmai and Gwilym. They were entitled to know what she had learned even though her news was disturbing. Leaving Sadie at the nursery, she went to a phone box to rearrange her calls and at eleven o’clock went to find Valmai. She was due home after an early start so she waited. Gwilym was sitting in his usual place near the workbench, with his legs tucked out of sight.

  ‘I’ve seen Rhys,’ she said, as soon as Valmai arrived. ‘He appears to be living with a woman, and there’s a child, a girl about six or seven years old.’ The words had burst from her and now she stopped and waited for their reaction.

  ‘Oh, no,’ Gwilym murmured.

  ‘I’m afraid it’s true.’

  White faced, Valmai was staring at her as though she were a stranger. ‘Tell us exactly what happened. Where is he?’

  ‘In Bristol. I asked around at the café where letters were sent and was told he might be at the school. I saw him there, meeting a little girl. I followed him to a house and as he reached the front door it opened and a woman came out to greet him. She was smiling and they hugged and she kissed his cheek. He followed her inside and I stood there wondering what to do and he came out again, with the woman, who handed him a piece of paper which I presumed was a shopping list.’

  ‘Then you spoke to him?’

  ‘He was so shocked to see me. He spluttered in a confused way and promised to explain, said it wasn’t what it seemed, but I ran away. I couldn’t stand there in sight of the house he shared with someone else and listen to more lies.’

  ‘Tell us the address. I’ll go and find out exactly what’s going on.’

  ‘If you wish, but it’s no longer anything to do with me.’ She handed Valmai a note bearing the address. ‘I think the little girl’s called Erica but I don’t know the woman’s name. Mrs Rhys Martin perhaps?’ she added bitterly.

  She walked with Valmai to where she worked but refused to discuss it further. Two years and more she had given him, years in which he had taken her money and lied about why he needed it. The request for more time was just more lies. It had to end here and now.

  She worked particularly hard that day and the days that followed, using physical exhaustion to stop herself thinking about Rhys’s lies and her own gullibility. Instead she thought about how she could change her life around. There were still a couple of hundred pounds in her savings and that would be for a new flat and a new life. But first she had to convince an employer that she was still capable of doing the job she had abandoned more than two years ago. That wouldn’t be easy.

  Over the following weeks, between her various jobs and working on finishing the decorating at Greenways, she applied for several positions, giving details of her previous work and explaining that she had given up for a while to look after her daughter. She carefully said nothing about her non-marital status. Three weeks later, in early March, she had still not found anything suitable and it was almost time to leave Greenways. She’d had the offer of two jobs but not what she wanted and what she was trained to do so, remembering Amy’s words about accepting second best, she had decided to be strong and wait for the right one.

  The decorating was finished and that meant there was little time left to find accommodation. Without a better paid job she would be moving
into the awful boarding house where Eric lived. Surely she deserved a bit of luck? Then she met Amy again.

  ‘Only two weeks for your wedding, isn’t it?’ she called as Amy stopped her car and lowered the window to speak to her.

  ‘Yes, and everything is frantic. The house isn’t finished, and Rick and I have argued about stupid things and I wish we’d married last year like he wanted to. A quiet wedding, no fuss.’

  ‘I’ve just finished for the day. I have to meet Sadie then I’m making tea if you have time?’ Sally suggested.

  ‘You aren’t still cleaning, are you?’

  ‘I have tried to find something better but no luck I’m afraid. The trouble is I’ll have to leave Greenways soon. The work there is almost finished.’

  ‘Jump in. We’ll meet Sadie then you can make me that cup of tea. I think we both need one.’

  She stopped at the bakers and came back with a box of cream cakes, then they collected an excited Sadie with her arms full of the paintings she had done that day, and went back to Greenways.

  While the kettle boiled Amy looked around the house, admiring the neat and clean rooms. ‘I’m impressed,’ she said. ‘The place is transformed.’

  ‘It’s been hard but I’m very pleased with the result. It’s earned me money and kept a roof over our heads.’

  ‘But now it’s time to move on.’

  Sally shrugged. ‘But where? And how? I have to consider Sadie in everything I do. She has to be happy and safe.’

  ‘Will Rhys’s parents help?’

  ‘Gladly, but I don’t want them to be involved. I have to keep away from Rhys and that means his parents too. I will let them see her as often as they want – she is their granddaughter, after all – but only when I’m sure Rhys won’t be around.’

  ‘Did you try to find work in the fashion industry?’

  ‘I applied for several positions but I didn’t get through the interview.’

  ‘What did you wear?’

  ‘A suit I bought two years ago. Expensive, but not at its best.’

  ‘Your clothes are probably a mess. Out of date, well worn, shoes and tights not matching – you have to look the part, Sally, and if that means spending some money then that’s what you have to do. Speculate to accumulate.’

  ‘I need all the money I have left to get us a home.’

  ‘Splash out and look the part of a successful fashion expert. I’ll come with you and help you choose some decent clothes. After all, I’ve always been able to afford the best, as you could once.’

  ‘Until the Rhys era!’

  The following day Amy was waiting for her, bobbing with excitement when she went to meet Sadie. They drove home with Amy obviously bursting to tell her something. ‘I won’t tell you until you’ve made tea and sorted little Sadie out,’ she teased.

  With Sadie settled with her midday snack and the three of them sitting down beside the electric fire – Sally too curious and impatient to start lighting the coals – Amy said, ‘You have an interview in ten days’ time!’

  ‘What? But how did that happen?’ Sally gasped.

  ‘My parents owned a large fashion house and after Daddy died, Mummy has kept in touch and she spoke to a few people and, there you are, an interview. Give it your best, Sally, and the job will be yours.’ She handed her a pile of fashion magazines. ‘Here’s your homework. Look and absorb,’ she said to a delighted Sally.

  The following day, with Valmai having promised to meet Sadie from nursery, Sally and Amy went into Cardiff. They looked in all the better dress shops and Amy encouraged Sally to examine everything on display, try on several and discuss with the assistants what the summer styles and fabric were. She spoke to managers too, and a few buyers, discussing the fashion world as though she was well aware of the current trends and the prospective colours for autumn. She learned a lot and used her knowledge to learn more. In one department store she spoke to a senior buyer who told her she was due to retire. A word with the manager followed.

  She had a flair for choosing the right accessories and bought scarves and hair ornaments as well as shoes and handbags. Amy said she was proud of her and knew she would be successful. ‘You shed your unhappy put-upon self as soon as we walked into the first shop,’ she told her.

  They returned home exhausted and carrying two outfits plus the rest, and some jewellery. The jewellery was Amy’s but she wanted Sally to borrow it for her interviews, of which there were now two.

  Going to clean for Mrs Glover the following day was unreal. She had dreamed of going back to her previous career so strongly the real life was the dream, the new life the reality. She told the friendly lady what she was hoping to achieve and Mrs Glover gave her a pair of pure silk stockings. ‘I know nylons are all the thing now, but real silk has a softness that caresses you and makes you feel so good you can achieve anything.’

  Eric was waiting for her when she and Sadie reached home that day and he came in and began to light the fire while she prepared their usual light lunch. ‘You’ll stay, won’t you, Eric?’

  ‘I’m sure you’re busy,’ he said.

  ‘Sit down and enjoy the fire you’ve lit,’ she said, but he went first to the coal store to fill her scuttle and chopped sticks and brought them in to dry.

  ‘I have two interviews in about ten days,’ she told him.

  ‘Good luck, it’s about time things started to get better for you. You have to leave this place soon, I suppose, now the work is done.’ He hesitated and she stared, smiled, encouraged him to speak. ‘I have the best room in the boarding house at the moment,’ he said, ‘and if you’re thinking of moving in – just until you get a proper place – I’ve arranged to move to the top room which is the only one vacant, and let you have mine. Better for Sadie, being on the ground floor.’

  ‘Thank you, Eric. You’re such a lovely man. But I wouldn’t have you climbing all those stairs because of me. I’ll manage fine. Who knows, if this interview becomes an offer I might be able to move into a flat. And you, dear Eric, will be our first visitor.’

  She crossed her fingers superstitiously and reminded herself that the chances of well-paid work was little more than a dream and the dreary boarding house was likely to be her home for months to come.

  She went to tell Valmai and Gwilym the times of her interview as they would be involved by looking after Sadie. Shouts were heard coming from next door, the voices of Netta and Walter raised in anger. She found Jimmy in with Gwilym, the radio turned up loud to muffle the distressing sounds of his parents’ quarrel.

  ‘Go on in, Valmai’s in the kitchen,’ Gwilym said. ‘Come on Jimmy, we’ve got some freshly made pasties, just for you.’

  Covering his ears, Jimmy ran inside.

  Valmai willingly agreed to look after Sadie on the days of the interviews and Sally felt both relieved and guilty for making use of them while being determined never to let Rhys come near her daughter again. Jimmy walked back with them pushing Sadie’s chair while the little girl walked beside him holding his hand and chatting happily.

  Amy and Rick called that evening, carrying flowers and a book containing all the various lists of things to do for the wedding. ‘Can you listen while I go through these arrangements for the last time? I know it’s boring but I’m so afraid I’ll forget something and turn the whole thing into a farce,’ Amy said light-heartedly. ‘Rick is going to see Gwilym about making an arch for the garden. We’ll plant roses and honeysuckle. Rick’s idea, but Mummy agrees.’

  ‘For once,’ Rick added, with a wink for Amy.

  When they were on their own, with Sadie asleep, Amy said, ‘How are you feeling, about the first interview?’

  ‘Guilty about the money we spent, that’s my strongest emotion. What if I don’t get either? I’ll be stuck with clothes I can’t wear and not enough money to pay rent on a decent flat. Eric came earlier and he offered to move from his downstairs room so Sadie and I can have the best in the house.’

  ‘Sweet of him, even if he’s no b
etter than a tramp!’ Amy smiled ruefully. ‘I was mistaken about him and several others, wasn’t I?’

  ‘We are all guilty of making snap judgements. I didn’t like David Gorse but he helped me when the baby was born and he was kind and thoughtful. I presumed he was lazy and not to be trusted just from listening to others.’

  ‘That’s one person I haven’t changed my mind about,’ Amy said sharply. ‘Smarmy – that’s an old-fashioned word but it’s how I’d describe him. Unpleasant to some and showing a different face to others.’ She laughed then. ‘When do you leave here?’

  ‘At the end of April. I can’t complain. The man has been very generous.’

  ‘Plenty of time to find a place to live. Once you get this job everything will settle in no time at all.’

  Sally wished she could believe her.

  When Rick returned he came back to the door after Amy was seated in the car. ‘Sally, I need someone to clean the house now the workmen have finished. It mustn’t be you, but I wonder if you know someone who would do a good job. You know how fussy Amy is.’

  ‘Leave it with me. I know just the person. But she’s shy, so if you leave her money and give her the key, she’ll work in the evenings. A week should see it done.’

  ‘What’s her name?’

  ‘Frankie. I can really recommend her.’

  The following week, while Valmai sat with Sadie, Sally scrubbed the house. Once she saw Amy at the gate and panicked but Amy obviously thought better of it and walked on. Rick had kept his word and no one came to interrupt her. The money was left for her in advance and at the end of the eight days it took to finish, there was an added bonus.

  Sally could hardly move and the following day she stayed in bed on Valmai’s firm instruction while Valmai took Sadie to nursery and then back to her home in Mill Road.

  Sally was still very stiff and sore but after one day of being spoilt by Valmai she returned to her usual jobs. Monday was only three days away, the deciding moment when she knew that if she failed to get one of the jobs for which she was being interviewed she would have to accept facts and look for something less than the dream.