by Lacey Wolfe
“I can’t change my past.” Neil picked up a potato wedge with his free hand.
Krista waited on Todd to say something, but he was silent. She wasn’t even sure what to say after what Neil had just said. But she was pretty sure he’d just confessed his love for her. Neil loved her. He loved her! How the hell had she gotten a man like Neil Clark to fall for her?
“I wish you two the best,” Todd finally said as he pushed his chair back. “I’m sorry to eat and run, but I’ve got to get back to work.”
“If you’ll excuse me a moment,” she said to Neil as she stood, then followed Todd out of the kitchen.
Todd stopped at the front door and turned to her. “This is real then, huh? There really won’t be you and I again. You’re moving on.”
A sadness to tell Todd no formed, but at the same time she was filled with joy to know Neil loved her. “I think so. I didn’t see this coming and it’s happened so fast.”
“As weird as it is to say this, I’m happy for you.” He grinned.
“Thank you.”
Todd raked his hands through his hair. “I just hope everything he said in there was the truth.”
So did she, because of what Neil had said at lunch, she’d now fallen off the edge and was head over heels in love with the man.
“We’ll talk soon.” Todd turned and left.
Krista took a deep breath and went back into the kitchen where she found Neil typing away on his cell phone. She stood there watching him. He was a handsome man. And even though he was years older than her, and she never thought she’d find love in an older man, she couldn’t be happier.
Neil was kind, loving, a good listener, and very understanding. On top of that, he had an excellent body to look at it. She was happy that she’d taken this chance on a man that was from out of her world. A man who could give her any kind of life that she might want.
“Did you mean everything you said?” she asked, needing to make sure he hadn’t said those things out of jealousy.
He gazed at her, his expression full of longing. “I did. I love you, Krista.”
Her eyes moistened. “I…I love you too.”
“Then get your sweet ass over here and kiss me.”
It didn’t take her long. She sauntered over, climbed up in his lap, and kissed the man who had fallen in love with her.
* * *
“So this weekend?” Jamie asked, plopping down on the couch next to Krista.
“Yup. He’s got tickets to the baseball game. It seems like the perfect way for EJ to meet him. No pressure and they can kinda just get to know one another.” Krista sighed, already nervous for this to happen. “Is it too soon? Am I making a mistake?”
Her friend tightened her blonde ponytail. “If you’re ready, then go for it. Obviously the man loves you and isn’t going anywhere. Things are moving fast, but sometimes that’s just how it happens.”
Krista nodded. Fast. That was for sure. “I need to see EJ and Neil together before this goes further. I don’t necessarily have to tell EJ that I’m seeing Neil. But what if it’s really awkward or EJ hates him?”
Jamie laughed. “Don’t over think. Jeez, here I thought you were getting past that when you got involved with Neil.”
Not over think it, ha! How was the even possible? “I don’t think I’ll ever stop, but at least I’m living a little, right?”
“I guess. What’s Neil up to tonight?”
She smiled, thinking about him calling her earlier, nervous about asking for a guys night. “It’s poker night at The Gentlemans’ Club and he asked if I was all right with him going.”
“You are?” Jamie raised an eyebrow.
As best as she could be. “I’m not crazy about the idea, but I also don’t want him to change his life for me. It’s an adjustment for us both to be in a relationship. Besides, it’s a poker game and I trust him.”
“Want me to go keep an eye on him? I could look for my own man at the same time.”
Yes, please. Wait, did that mean she didn’t trust him? “No. Stay away from there tonight.”
“If I must.” Jamie groaned. “I’m never going to meet a man of my own.”
“Stop trying so hard. After all, I wasn’t looking and I found one.”
* * *
Neil grabbed his brandy from the bar and glanced around for the table Ian had told him to sit at. Several of his friends were there and they planned to have a good time playing poker.
He spotted Keith and went his way.
“Hey, man.” Keith stood and put his hand out to shake it.
“Good to see you. It’s been awhile. How’s life?” Neil shook his hand and took a seat.
“Great. Enjoying a night out. Work has been hell.”
“I hear ya. But in the end it’s always worth it.” Neil took a sip of his beverage. “Hopefully this is a good game. Time for a little fun.”
“Oh yeah, and the women. Man, they are hot tonight.”
Two hands slammed down on Neil’s shoulders. “This man is spoken for.”
Neil chuckled as Ian released him.
“You’ve been wrangled in?” Keith asked, his eyes wide with curiosity.
With pride, he said, “I have.”
“Next round of drinks are on the house,” Ian called out. “My man here is spoken for. A love connection found right here at my club. Let’s celebrate!”
An hour and several drinks later, Neil had won a few rounds of poker and couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. He didn’t usually drink more than one, maybe two drinks when he went out, but since this was a celebration, he’d gone a little overboard and now was feeling the effects.
“Can I get you another?” the waitress asked.
“No, no. I’m good. Real good.”
Keith laughed. “I think we’re all real good right about now. Between you and Ian buying rounds, we’re all toasted.”
Neil agreed. The mood in the club tonight was happy. A few poker games were still going on, but for the most part everyone was mingling. Ian had said several times that they needed more nights like this one. It was much more laid back. The alcohol helped.
“I think I’ve lost enough money tonight. Think I’ll start looking for a lady.” Keith got up. “Congrats, man. Perhaps I’ll be next to celebrate.”
Neil smiled and wondered what kind of celebration they’d have if he actually married Krista. Things were moving in that direction. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but the marriage part was slightly scary.
He couldn’t wait for this weekend when he got to meet her son. If this went well, he knew they were on their way to a happy life. As much as he hated to admit it, he was nervous about the kid. Neil was an only child, and didn’t have much experience to date with kids. EJ was older, so maybe it wouldn’t be too hard.
“I hate to hear you’re taken. I never even got a chance with you.” Beth plopped down in the seat next to him. “We could change that. She never has to know. My lips are zipped—well, only for telling, otherwise my mouth is wide open.”
Neil shook his head and rolled his eyes. In some ways he was glad to be done with this lifestyle. A few weeks ago he would’ve seen just how wide her mouth would open.
“I’m gonna have to turn that offer down. My lady takes very good care of me.” Krista in her red dress flashed through his mind. “I’m a happily taken man.”
His cell phone buzzed his on his hip. Pulling it from his waist, he saw it was Krista.
“Hey, beautiful. I was just talking about you.”
“Good, I hope.”
“Of course. I’d never have a bad thing to say about you.”
She laughed. “I just got EJ to bed and I’m gonna head that way too. I wanted to call and tell you so you didn’t call me later and worry if I didn’t answer.”
He wished he was crawling into bed with her and not sitting here, toasted and alone. “Have sweet dreams.”
“They’d be sweeter if you were here.”
“Is tha
t the lucky lady you were telling me about,” Beth cooed over his shoulder.
“Who was that?” Krista asked.
“Just a woman at the club,” Neil responded, pushing Beth off his arm.
Beth laughed. “Just a woman. Gee, thanks, Neil.”
“Sweet dreams, Krista. I’ll call you first thing in the morning.”
Krista was quiet.
“Wow, you are tired. You’ve fallen asleep on the phone.” He chuckled. “Get a good night’s rest.” He ended the call.
He got up from the table to search out Ian to get a number for a cab. He needed to get home himself and get to sleep. He’d had too much to drink and the idea of slumber sounded good right about now. Beth said something behind him, but it was taking a lot for him to stand at the moment.
When he found Ian, his friend called a cab. A few minutes later, Ian helped him out to the car.
“Get some rest, old man. You can’t hold your liquor the way you used to.”
“Yeah, yeah. I just got carried away.” He climbed into the cab and laid his head back in the seat as Ian told the driver where to take him.
He closed his eyes and did his best not to fall asleep. His phone buzzed on his hip again. Groaning, he pulled it from the holster.
The baseball game is off.
Neil stared at the message and read it again. Krista was canceling the baseball game? He began to type the word why back, but the cab driver arrived to his house. He handed the driver money and then exited the vehicle.
Once inside he tossed his phone and keys onto a table in the foyer and then crashed on a couch in the formal living room, not giving a second thought to Krista’s message.
“But , Mom!” EJ complained.
“I’m sorry. Plans change.” Krista hated breaking her son’s heart, but after hearing Neil drunk and some woman with him, letting Neil and EJ meet was out of the question.
In fact last night showed her just how different their worlds really were. He was a bachelor at heart, who for some reason wanted a relationship with her. But would he ever really be able to give up that lifestyle?
How often would she be left at home while he was out on the town doing whatever it was he did? And it wasn’t fair of her to ask him to change. Once again, she was slapped in the face with a reminder that things could never work between them. It didn’t matter how much they wanted it to, it simply wouldn’t work.
It wasn’t fair to EJ either.
She held his shoulders and stared at him. “I promise we’ll go to a game soon. Let me see what I can find for us to do to make up for this, okay?”
EJ grunted. “Can I go play with my Legos?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” She sighed. “Want to go out for brunch?”
“Will you let me get the smiley-face pancake? The chocolate one?”
The one full of nothing but pure sugar. Ugh. “Sure.”
Krista turned back to the coffee maker and poured herself another cup. She’d tossed and turned all night. All she could imagine was one of those women at the club with the barely-there dresses touching Neil. Rubbing her body against his and teasing him. Would he take the bait?
God, how had she gotten herself so involved with this man? He’d come into it so quickly and after a kiss she’d thrown all caution to the wind. There was a reason why she over thought things in life. It was to keep her out of this very predicament.
And she was in this deep.
After draining half a mug of her coffee, she decided to head upstairs to take a shower.
* * *
Cell phones really needed to come with a recycling bin. Last night Neil had gotten a message from Krista—at least he thought it was from her. And somehow he’d deleted his whole damn text message folder. All his messages were gone.
He’d attempted to call Krista, but it had gone straight to voicemail. They’d already decided that she and EJ would meet him at the game and to keep it as laid back as possible. If you could call laid back sitting in one’s own private box, sure. But at least it would be just the three of them in the air-conditioned room. He’d requested it be stocked with snacks kids loved.
He had about an hour before he had to head over to the stadium. Neil went into his office to check his email. As he sat down at his desk, he dialed Krista again, but like before, it didn’t even ring.
“I’m looking forward to today. Can’t wait to see you and meet EJ. See you soon.” He placed the phone back in the holster on his hip.
Two hours later, Neil sat in the private room—alone. Krista and EJ hadn’t shown up. He’d called down to the gate several times to see if they were there then proceeded to call Krista, but as usual the call went straight to voicemail.
Was she hurt? He couldn’t make sense as to why she wasn’t there.
Something told him if he hadn’t deleted all his text messages, he’d know something. He couldn’t understand why she’d canceled. When they’d spoken earlier yesterday, she was excited and said EJ was as well. So where were they?
Neil called down to the gate again.
“This is Neil Clark in room four A. I’ve got to head out, but I have guests I’m waiting on. If they arrive, will you show them up and let them know I’ll be back? Thanks.”
There was only one way to find out why Krista wasn’t here, and that was to go to her house and see if she was home.
* * *
Krista parked the car in the driveway. As she climbed out, she handed EJ the keys.
“I’ll be right there. I’m gonna grab the bags from the trunk,” she told him.
Her son nodded and continued for the front door. She popped the trunk and grabbed the few bags from the store that were in there. As she closed the trunk, she heard a car pull up behind her. It was a quiet engine and she recognized it.
Slowly she turned to see Neil. He turned the vehicle off and climbed out.
“Are you okay? I’ve been worried sick about you.” He marched toward her.
She was confused why he thought something was wrong, unless he didn’t get she was mad at him and ignoring him. “I’m fine.”
“Then why aren’t you at the baseball field?”
She set the few bags down on the top of the trunk. “I sent you a message last night that we weren’t coming.”
Fuck, he remembered now. Seeing her text in the cab about not coming. “Why? I’ve been calling you all day and all I’ve gotten is your voicemail. I accidently deleted the message and called all morning to see what you’d said. Are you ignoring me?”
“I’m not sure where my phone is.”
He groaned and she could see his anger rising. “What’s going on?”
She was never good with break-ups. “This isn’t working. That’s what’s going on.”
“Yesterday things were great. What changed?” He rubbed his temple.
She crossed her arms. “It clicked last night when you were out partying it up that I was right in the beginning, when I told you it would never work. It won’t. We’re two different people. I don’t want to be at home worrying if some woman is flirting with you, or worse, you’re flirting with some young woman. I can’t expect you to change your life for me.”
He ran his hands through his dark hair and held them there a moment. “It’s unfair that you think I would do that to you. I wouldn’t.”
She laughed sarcastically. “That happened last night. Who was the woman?”
What the hell was she talking about? “Woman? What woman?”
“I’m not stupid!”
Neil stepped back from her, putting much-needed distance between them.
“Mom,” EJ called from the front porch.
Great! “I’ll be back in a moment, honey. Go inside.”
“Can I play the Xbox?”
“Yes, it’s fine.”
EJ turned and went back in the house.
“You need to go,” she said.
“So what, this is it?” Neil rubbed his palms together. “I’ve done everything I can these past fe
w weeks to show you how I feel about you. But apparently it hasn’t been enough.”
“It’s been a great few weeks, but it can never be more. And you know it. I have a kid and I can’t live the life you do. We’ve known this. It’s nothing new. I should’ve stuck to my guns in the beginning and not have let this go as far as it did.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Did you really think it would work?” A big part of her had hoped it would, even now.
“When I told you I loved you, I meant it. I’d have given everything up if it meant I got to spend the rest of my life with you.” His back was to her now and he took a few steps toward his car. He glanced over his shoulder at her and got into his car.
Krista watched as he drove off. Her heart ached. As she stood there a few minutes later, she couldn’t decide if she should be relieved that she could now move on and get her life back, or if she’d just made the biggest mistake in her life.
“So it’s over?” Jamie stared at Krista.
Krista nodded, her gut churning. “I guess so.”
“You don’t look happy about it.”
“Who is ever happy when a relationship ends?” Krista slumped back in the chair. “Of course I’m having doubts, but it’s gotta be for the best, right? Was it ever going to work?”
Jamie shrugged. “You never know. It might’ve.”
“It wouldn’t.”
“How do you know?”
She didn’t, but she had to believe that her decision was the best thing for her and EJ. “I’ve been over this a million times. I feel like I’m repeating myself.”
Jamie held her hand up. “You’re right, it never would’ve worked.”
Krista heard the irritation in her friend’s voice. Jamie didn’t agree, but Jamie lived in fantasy land and was so sure one day her own prince was going to swoop in and whisk her away. Jamie wanted someone just like Neil. Krista didn’t—or hadn’t—until recently.
Neil had never flashed his money around her, except for the beginning. But when she’d made it clear to him that wasn’t the life she wanted, he stopped. The more she thought about, the more she realized how much he’d given up for her. Flashy dates had gone out the window. In fact the last few dates they’d been on had probably been the lowest key dates he’d had in years and he seemed to enjoy them.
