A Nudge in the Right Direction: A Pride and Prejudice Variation - Novella

by Nicky Roth

  And then there was this weird impression that he and her brother seemed to share a secret. Caroline could almost feel it. But what was the secret? Surely, if her brother had made Miss Bennet an offer he would have announced it to all the world straight away, would he not? Perhaps Mr. Darcy at last had asked Charles for his permission to court her? One could never know but always hope. Perhaps she did not need to compromise Darcy after all. But this or the other way, he soon would be hers.

  Chapter 6

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  The sun rose to a brilliant November morning, the remnants of the past days rain glistening in the golden beams of light and the fog lifting slowly like a curtain drawn from a window. It was the perfect start to a perfect day. Tonight she, Caroline Bingley, would be engaged to the man of her desires, would have access to the highest circles of society and would have pin money enough to fill her already ample wardrobe even further, not to speak of all the jewels and finery, whether inherited or new. And at last she would know that all her efforts had finally paid off. Her life could not be more perfect, really.

  She made her way over to her dressing room where her ball gown was already hung up to hang out the creases. It was a most elegant dress of bright green silk with a silver trimming and a floral pattern embroidered into it with sweet water pearls. It would do perfectly, Caroline thought, though it would be somewhat of a shame to tear it. But it could not be helped. If her meeting with Mr. Darcy in the maze was to look like the legitimate meeting of two impassioned lovers, a tear at the bust would be just the right thing.

  Calling her maid to get dressed, she ventured downstairs for breakfast, being fashionably late as always. Well, perhaps her life could be better if the men had not already gone out to shoot once again. Really, how could they do such a thing when there was a ball in the evening? Then again this gave her yet another opportunity to speak to her sister, and to make it clear once more how important it was for her future felicity to compromise Mr. Darcy tonight.

  In her elevated state of mind it escaped her, that Louisa had been quieter of late than she usually was, not so much joining in her slights of the whole of the Bennet family and their low connections, or actually any conversation with her. It seemed as if she was constantly contemplating something. But that, too, Caroline did not notice.

  Mrs. Hurst paid but half attention to her sister when Caroline entered to break her fast as she was busy glancing over the menu, quickly changing the terrine of smoked halibut to a dish of dressed steamed trout and the steak pie for a venison ragout just like the cook had suggested. When she appeared satisfied with it, Louisa sent the footman to deliver it to the kitchens without asking her younger sister. On any other day Caroline would have been vexed about such behaviour. After all, as long as her brother was unmarried and as long as she was so also, she was the one who kept their brother’s house. Well, soon she would be married and then Louisa could do as she pleased, Charles would certainly not mind.

  The preparations were in full swing, and throughout Netherfield there was a hustle and bustle quite contrary to its normal comfortable tranquillity. Caroline of course, welcomed this change, as did their brother, both in apparent anticipation of the evening. Had it been for Louisa Hurst, it could have stayed as calm and serene as it had been before the preparations for the ball had begun to spread throughout the whole of the house. Furniture had been moved to make space for the dancing, and the dining room had been sat up in a way that it could house more than twice the amount of people it normally could hold, which was already an ample amount. The candles had been delivered from London early in the morning, and glancing out of the window one could see a whole cart load of instruments and music stands being delivered likewise, so the orchestra could be set up in a proper way and not as higgledy piggledy as they had done at the assembly.

  “Did you even listen to what I have just said, Louisa?” Caroline snapped, when she at last had realised that her sister had not paid her the slightest attention.

  “Oh yes, of course.” Mrs. Hurst blatantly lied, smiling as sweetly as if she had not a care in the world.

  They were shortly disturbed by the entrance of a confused looking young girl, who, with a squeal of surprise, curtsied and then ran out again. Many of the hired maids dashed around the house, quite busy already with finding their way around, and the more hastening to get their work done while getting lost in the labyrinth of corridors up and below the stairs. It was quite a show to see the poor creatures hurry around, uttering ceaseless apologies. Their own staff of course, could be relied upon and tried not only to help the hired ones around whilst themselves preparing everything for the night, but also attempted to cater for their mistresses every whim, as it was only Caroline who, with little regard for the people around her, still insisted on being attended to properly.

  As Caroline Bingley rambled on once more Mrs. Hurst amused herself with counting the breadcrumbs on her plate, her mind wandering to the letter she had written two days ago.

  My dear Miss Lydia, it had begun,

  I am a bit at a loss as to what I should do, and I fear you might be the only person who can help me out of my predicament. I am well aware that we have not been close, and that thus my request seems quite impertinent, but my sister and I have made a wager and I intent to win it! - She has the most lovely pearl necklace, you must know.

  You might wonder at this point why I write to you about this, of all people, but the wager is as follows: Caroline insists that you and your sister Catherine will make fools of yourselves, inexperienced as you are in London society, where the rules are less relaxed than here in the country; while I on the other hand, am perfectly convinced that you will do no such thing. You are after all well behaved girls with a sense for propriety and decorum. If you could just guide your sister Kitty along a bit further, I would greatly appreciate it. Not that I fear she will misbehave, but after all my sister has planned everything with such great splendour and extravagance that I would not want her to be too intimidated. You I know, are less timid and hence are better suited to guide her. Prove my sister wrong in having your family behave with grace and elegance just as always.

  Now what do you say? Are we to be partners in crime?

  Yours etc.

  Louisa Hurst

  She had given some thought to what she should do to have the youngest Bennets behave, and this surely was a stroke of genius. Louisa almost grinned at her own brilliance. After all her slights and slanders, Caroline would be surprised how well behaved the Bennets would be, of this she was now quite certain.

  “You know, you start to turn as morose as your husband and if you are not careful, soon you will fall asleep in the middle of the day just as he does.” her sister remarked eventually and with some venom.

  “If I remember it correctly, sister dearest, you still have to catch a husband.”

  “Oh, but you have promised to help me with that, have you not?” Caroline lifted her chin, smiling calmly at her oldest sibling. “ By the end of the evening I will be engaged and surely Mr. Darcy will feel compelled to marry me by special licence, and thus in a fortnight I will have a husband.”

  “Yes, so it appears. I did promise to fix Mr. Darcy once and for all.” Louisa Hurst replied innocently, while her words were chosen most carefully.

  “So, what can possibly go wrong?” Caroline enquired, pouring herself some tea.

  From behind her cup of coffee Mrs. Hurst glanced at Caroline, a smile as false as that of her sister’s playing on her features.

  “Yes, what can possibly go wrong?”

  Chapter 7

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  It was not even two o’clock in the afternoon when Caroline Bingley retreated to prepare herself for the ball, and to her dismay the men had still not returned from their sports. She relied on their elegance, lest the impression they would make on the neighbourhood would be any less then breathtaking, and it would not do for them either to prepare in a hurry.

  Calling for her maid in a sh
arp and commanding tone, Caroline ordered a hot bath for herself and quickly. Though quickly is a rather relative term it seemed, and she had to wait for a good half hour till at last buckets of steaming hot water were delivered to her dressing room and poured into the elegant copper bathtub, all polished and gleaming in the dull sunlight that managed to creep through the thick lace curtains.

  As an afterthought she send one of the girls down to the stables to get her some milk, or more specifically the milk of one of the mares. It was not for nothing that the beauty tips of the ton were accessible to her, and today bathing like Cleopatra would be in order as nothing less would do. Her skin would be as soft as a peach and her hair would be as shiny as the most exquisite silk of her gown, if not even more so.

  Adding a generous amount of rose oil to her bath she elegantly, as Caroline tried to do even the most profane thing with affected elegance and be it using the chamber pot, she dipped into the scalding water. Biting her lip to not cry out in surprise at feeling the immensely hot liquid, she impatiently waited for the maid to return with her request, which would also serve to cool down her bath to a more bearable temperature. What on earth could take her so long? It was not as it was not a most simple task, and the stables were only down the stairs, through the house, round the corner and a few more steps and one was there.

  It took the poor creature little more than ten minutes to return, but still just above five would have been much better.

  When Miss Bingley left her bath the water had turned cold, but at last she was happy, having rubbed herself down with a rough cloth first, before using the softest sponge she had at her disposal to evenly lather herself in her exquisite French soap which was so hard to come by in these days of war against Napoleon. But there was nothing like perfumed soap laced with olive oil imported from Grasse. How convenient she knew exactly were to get it, and even legally, which was something. Yes, there was no place better than ‘Trollope and Gardiner’, a business now only run by the latter, when it came to obtaining rare goods. And aside, the owner Mr. Gardiner was such a charming conversationalist and polite man, one could almost forget he was in trade.

  Letting herself be dried off and her hair carefully dabbed, first with linen to take the water and then with a silk cloth to make it even and shiny, she slipped into a robe sitting down to have her feet and hands cared for properly. Her maid was most adept at cutting nails and filing away calloused skin, and today this came in very handy. When after about three hours of hard work she was at last ready, her hair arranged in a most fashionable coiffure and her figure dressed in her under-things, very daring ones as they were as wispy as a shroud of mist, and just as see through, adorned with the most delicate of lace imported from Plauen, it was time to put on her gown.

  Donning the dress she cast a critical glance in the mirror and was satisfied. She did look most fashionable, decidedly regal and wonderfully elegant, the bright green providing an attractive contrast to her dark eyes and hair as well as her fair, almost translucent skin, a result of avoiding the outdoors as much as she possibly could.

  Even if she tried, she could not possibly look more beautiful as she did at the moment. She was tall, something she was immensely proud of, and lean, while her bosom was ample and her décolletage this evening left little to the imagination. Sometimes showing ones assets was a sure step to matrimony, and showing them to Darcy to an, as yet, unprecedented extend would surely leave him breathless, no doubt. Who needed fine eyes when one had access to such a fine pair of ample breasts as hers?

  Chapter 8

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  “There is a letter for you from Netherfield, Miss.” Hill announced, before, to everyone’s amazement, she handed the missive she was carrying to a confused looking Lydia.

  “Hill, this must be a mistake.” Mrs. Bennet cried out. “It must be for my dearest Jane, surely.”

  “No indeed mama, it is addressed to me!” their mother was interrupted by her youngest and recipient of the epistle, thus preventing a cacophony of more surprised exclamations in their tracks.

  “Oh, what does it say?” her mother had got up and now hovered behind her, ready to snatch the letter from her daughter’s hand to satisfy her own curiosity.

  Jane and Elizabeth Bennet in the meantime glanced at each other just as surprised as any other lady in the room safe for Mary, who was too engrossed in her book to pay much attention to what was going on around her.

  Lydia opened her letter and somehow managed to keep it in her own hands, reading it first with confusion displayed on her features, then indignation, till at last pride won out. Folding the note carefully without anybody else having been able to glimpse at more than the address she tucked it into her pocket.

  “It is awfully stuffy in here, is it not? What do you say about a turn in the garden, Kitty?”

  Miss Catherine Bennet stared at her, trying to discern what her sister was up to, but Lydia schooled her features into a neutral expression, only smiling slightly.

  This face of perfect serenity however made her second oldest sister most weary, and before Kitty had time to respond Elizabeth casually said: “Oh, I completely agree with you. I think I will join you, too, if you do not mind.”

  “No, not at all.” Lydia replied to that, and once more surprised her sister.

  “The letter was from Mrs. Hurst.” Lydia began as soon as they were out of their mother’s earshot. “Here it is.”

  She handed it to her two eldest sisters, as Jane had joined them also.

  “It is quite nasty of Miss Bingley to think we would be so intimidated we could act as nothing but fools, is it not? But la, I intend to show her that if I put my mind to it, I can be a perfect lady, as can Kitty of course.”

  Both older girls were most happy to hear this, though doubted their younger sister would be able to stay sensible for the entirety of an evening and at a ball.

  “Dear me, we must have given them the impression of chattering geese at the Meryton Assembly it seems. At least to Miss Bingley. But we have been nothing more than merry. She really is an arrogant woman, so incredibly stuck up. La, even Mr. Darcy seems a charmer in comparison, do you not agree?” Lydia chatted on. “Mrs. Hurst seems nice actually. I think a great deal better of her all of a sudden. ”

  ‘As do I’, Elizabeth thought to herself. ‘Who would have thought Louisa Hurst of all people, would manage to trick Lydia into actually wanting to behave?’

  “So, you have to give us lessons, I suppose, so we can be even more sophisticated than we already are, and give Miss Bingley a good surprise.” their youngest sibling announced, giggling at her own wit and her brilliant idea.

  And so it went, that the next few days were spend most zealously in making two well behaved ladies out of Misses Catherine and Lydia Bennet. And in avoiding Mr. Collins’ attentions, which with their practises was suddenly so much easier as well. It even seemed to please their cousin, oddly enough, to see them polish up their manners, once in a while mumbling about pious, well behaved young women and their decided charms.

  The day of the ball arrived, and though Kitty and Lydia were nervous and excited beyond their usual means, they still managed to dress properly without trying to attempt to get away with too deep necklines or too many ribbons and flowers in their hair, and consequently looked quite pretty and less like the silly girls who could not decide whether to take the pink or the yellow ribbon and thus taking both. They looked so fine in fact, that even their father could not help but appreciate them, and his compliment made both his youngest shine with happiness and pride.

  They were slightly late, but not too late, rather late in the fashionable sense, and they had barely entered when they were already spotted by Mrs. Hurst, who gave Lydia a small wink before returning to her conversation with Colonel Forester, whom she was currently greeting.

  “So, there we go.” Lydia whispered. “Are you prepared, Kitty.”

  “Yes.”

  “Very well then, remember: do not run off, even when
you see Chamberlain or Denny; avoid Wickham; do not laugh too loudly and most importantly, not more than half a glass of punch within one hour to avoid getting tipsy.”

  “I know, Lydia! I am actually more concerned about mother...” Kitty discreetly glanced in the direction of Mrs. Bennet.

  “I am not. I told her that it is very fashionable to speak as low as one possibly can nowadays, and that there will be many very fashionable people around she surely would want to impress and mama said she sure would.”

  “Well then let us hope for the best.” Elizabeth, who had stood behind them, muttered, before all of them were in line to greet their hosts.

  One thing Elizabeth had to admit was, that Miss Bingley looked stunning and had her smile been an honest one, she would have greatly admired her.

  Chapter 9

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  Smiling Caroline descended the stairs just in time to receive their first visitors, which incidentally happened to be the Lucas’. With his ramblings about St. James and his knighthood it was surely Sir William who was responsible for being this ridiculously early. But they were soon succeeded by many other country bumpkins, equally unaccustomed to the habit of the ton for being rather late than early. It was all a matter of entrance and of style, and one could of course not expect any of these people to know anything of either.