by Ivy Baum
I glared at Sol. “What’s your point?”
“My point?” He looked exasperated. “My point is that there’s no good reason for you to walk to a bus station that’s, like, five miles down an inadequately-lit highway when you could just accept a ride from me.”
“You never offered.”
“I didn’t?” He blinked. “Well, in that case, let me formally extend the invitation. I won’t murder you. Strangers’ honor.”
Just then, a gust of wind cut across the lawn. It seemed to slice right through my dress.
It’s just a ride. What’s the big deal?
I frowned at the voice in my head. It didn’t sound like me.
But then, I didn’t feel quite like myself, either.
For months now, I’d had the sense of walking along a narrow precipice. On one side was my old life—on the other, a dark abyss.
As long as I kept moving, I wouldn’t fall.
I took one final look at Sydney’s house. I no longer wanted to go back inside. Not tonight—maybe not ever.
I turned to find Sol already holding open the passenger door.
I hugged my arms to my chest and smiled through teeth that had begun to chatter. “Thanks.”
He closed the door.
Here goes nothing.
Chapter 4
Inside, the car smelled like warm leather.
I slid into the passenger seat, which was already heating up under my thighs.
Sol shrugged off his jacket and tapped the navigation screen. “Where do you live?”
“You mean you don’t already know?”
He grinned. “I haven’t been watching you in your sleep or anything. Sorry to disappoint.”
I told him. I had mostly stopped being embarrassed by my new address, but I felt a little self-conscious as he typed it in. It was twenty-five minutes away.
“You sure you want to drive me?”
“It’s not really out of my way.”
That had to be a lie. The apartment at Ionian Gardens was the cheapest place Mom had been able to find that was still inside the school district.
The building, which sat on the edge of an industrial lot, was an eyesore. No one who could afford a Range Rover lived anywhere nearby.
We pulled away from the curb, and he glanced at me. “I have a call to make.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“My sister. She’s at a party, and I need to check in with her.”
I glanced at the clock. “It’s barely nine o’clock.”
“She’s only a freshman.”
I frowned. I couldn’t imagine what his sister must be like—or how it was that I’d never noticed her.
We didn’t get many new people at White Falls High.
“I didn’t want her to go, but she said it was important.” He punched several buttons. “Let’s see how she’s doing.”
The phone seemed to ring forever.
Sol’s hands, I noticed, were clenching the steering wheel.
Finally, someone picked up.
“Checking up on me already?” It was a girl’s voice, and she sounded slightly out of breath.
“Nev? You okay?”
“I probably wouldn’t be answering if I weren’t.”
Sol relaxed a bit. “I’ve got you on speakerphone in the car. Kes is with me.”
How strange. He’d said my name as though we were old friends. As though his sister would know who I was.
“Wonderful.”
There was a pause, and I thought I heard something heavy drop in the background. What kind of party was this?
When she spoke again, she sounded even more out of breath. “Do you suppose she would mind swinging by?”
Sol sat up straight. “What happened?”
“Nothing. It’s just—you know the guys who invited me? Well, they turned out to be friends with those horrible people we know.”
“Nev…”
Sol’s entire body radiated tension. I caught myself staring at the hard lines of muscle pressing through his t-shirt.
“I’m fine.” Nev’s voice was soothing—not at all like a teenaged girl annoyed at her protective older brother. “It’s just that I’d like to leave soon, and I think they’re going to be a little upset with me.”
The car shot forward. Sol had pressed on the gas.
“Look, it’s no big deal. Just come as soon as you can.”
“Did you—”
“Solon.” Her voice rang out sharply. After a moment, she continued in a lighter tone, “Like I said, I’m fine. But it would be nice if you could come and smooth things over with the hosts.”
Sol’s jaw clenched as he spoke. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Be careful.”
The call ended. Sol turned to me, as though just now remembering that I was there.
He grinned, but it seemed forced. “What do you say? You up for a little detour?”
I felt my first thrill of apprehension. Here I was, in a car speeding down the highway with a virtual stranger—and no one knew I was with him…
“Where are we going?”
“A party. Don’t worry, it’s not far from your place. You know the old canning factory they turned into those trendy loft apartments?”
I frowned. I knew that place, but the last I’d checked, it was an abandoned shell.
“Your sister’s at a party there?”
The smile dropped a little. “Not for long, she isn’t.”
When I saw the building he’d pulled in front of, I almost couldn’t believe it.
The crumbling old factory was gone. In its place was a gleaming edifice of chrome and glass—much nicer than anything else in this neighborhood.
If I stared hard, I could just make out some of the old brickwork. But the entire building had been transformed.
The sign out front said The Lofts.
“Whose party did you say this was?”
“Just some kids from our old school.”
His tone had been nonchalant—but I couldn’t imagine any high school kid living in a place like this. Even one from a fancy private school.
Sol put the car in park.
I squinted up at the top floor window, which wrapped around the corner of the building. It was a beacon of warm, yellow light.
“So we just, like, walk in through the front door?”
“We don’t do anything. You’re staying in the car.”
“What? I’m not—”
“Let me make something very clear. Under no circumstances are you to leave this car. Do you understand?”
I stared, taken aback.
As he moved to get out of the car, I shook off my paralysis.
“How long are you going to be gone?”
He paused in the doorway. “I shouldn’t be long. But even if I am, you need to stay here.”
“Stay here and do what?”
“Wait for me.”
“What if you don’t come back?”
He smiled, and there was a mocking edge to it. “I’m going to come back. If it makes you feel better, you can lock the door behind me.”
He started toward the apartment.
I locked the door.
What am I doing?
That voice sounded familiar. It was the old Kes—the one who would never have accepted a ride from Sol in the first place.
The old Kes.
But I was the same person, wasn’t I?
No. I wasn’t the same person. It was only that I’d been living the same life.
And even that was falling away.
It had started with my father leaving, but it didn’t feel real until I started selling my clothes.
At first, it had just been a few items. Impractical designer outfits I’d been talked into buying on shopping trips with Syd’s mom—or the garish stuff given to me by well-meaning but clueless relatives.
But the fridge always needed restocking, and I’d found a pile of second-notice bills under a stack of magazines in Mom’s room.
And so I started selling off my clothes in earnest. I returned to my closet again and again, until it had been stripped of anything of value.
Every day I arrived at school in clothes a little shabbier and more out of fashion—and every day, a little more of me fell away.
A new shape was emerging. I just didn’t know whether it was one I liked.
A car alarm sounded nearby.
I braced for a wave of fear—but I felt strangely calm.
In fact, I felt safer here in Sol’s car than I had in months.
I leaned back against the soft leather of the headrest and closed my eyes. I thought I was about to fall asleep—but then I felt something, and my eyes snapped open.
All around me, the air shimmered. It was thick and luminescent—like something I could reach out and touch.
Was I dreaming?
No—I was more awake than ever. I was having one of my hallucinations.
It always started like this.
The first time it happened, I panicked. I kept thinking of Lacey’s cousin, who’d once regaled us with a tale of dropping acid.
The first time I’d awoken to one of these hallucinations—into a room filled with strange, pulsing light—I’d thought, I’m on drugs.
Tonight, I wasn’t afraid. If anything, I was a little annoyed. The last thing I needed was for Sol and his sister to come back to the car and find me staring, goggle-eyed, like an idiot.
And so I sat there and waited for it to go away. It always did—eventually.
Tonight, it seemed to go on forever. Seconds bled into minutes, and I lost track of time. I stretched my hand out in front of me like someone in a dream.
Still, the air pulsed and glimmered around me.
You’ve finally gone crazy.
It would hardly be unexpected—after everything that had happened.
Last June, two weeks after school ended, I came home to find Mom in my bedroom.
She had what looked like every suitcase in the house open on the floor. Clothes and personal items had been thrown in haphazardly.
And then she’d looked up at me with a sad, strange expression and spoken the words that would come to haunt me. We need to talk.
That was the day my old life had ended.
Dad was gone. He’d taken sabbatical and was en route to some university in Europe. And he wasn’t coming back.
The big house I’d grown up in, the one down the street from Sydney’s, was put up for sale. Mom and I packed everything we owned into her aging Honda and started our new life on the other side of town.
I mean, when you thought about it like that, I probably should’ve gone crazy long ago.
At some point, I had closed my eyes. I became aware that something had opened up inside me—a vast, empty space. It seemed to beckon me, to pull me deeper into—what?
And then I really did feel a wave of fear. Whatever that place was, I didn’t like it.
When I opened my eyes again, I felt different.
The hallucination was gone. But now I couldn’t shake the idea that I was supposed to go inside.
I hesitated.
Sol’s instructions had been unambiguous. Stay in the car.
Part of me wanted to do exactly that. The car felt inexplicably safe.
But I was also more certain than ever that I didn’t want to be alone.
I grabbed the keys and pushed open the door. The cold that washed over me almost made me reconsider.
But as I gazed up at the beautiful, modern building—which was completely out of place here—I made up my mind.
I grabbed my shoes and slipped them back on. This was a party, after all.
Then I made a run for the door before I could change my mind.
Chapter 5
The front door was propped open.
Maybe there really were a bunch of clueless private school kids in there.
I waltzed right past the intercom—there appeared to be four tenants—and strode toward the elevator. Unlike the one in my building, it looked like it actually worked.
Inside the elevator, I felt a pang of doubt. There were three floors, plus the lobby. I had no idea where the party was.
But then I remembered the wrap-around window on the top floor.
I pressed number three.
Last chance to—
The elevator doors opened directly into the apartment. And just like that, I found myself in the apartment—in the middle of the party.
Not a high school party, I decided.
I mean, it was a party. The crowd swirled around me in the large, open loft space, and music with a thumping bass competed with the dull roar of conversation.
But I would’ve bet my life that these were not high school kids.
College students?
But even that didn’t feel quite right.
On the surface, everything was in place: loud music, Solo cups floating around, laughter…
So what was wrong?
It was something about the way they carried themselves—somehow more serious and unfrivolous than I was used to seeing.
In fact, it felt less like a party and more like an official gathering. But for what purpose?
I moved deeper into the apartment. No one gave me more than a passing glance.
Which was also kind of weird.
Out of the corner of my eye, a light flared—blue-green and unnatural.
I turned just in time to see one of the partygoers stumble backward. The crowd around him erupted into laughter.
I paused, unable to look away.
It was nothing I hadn’t seen before…or was it?
Now that I was enveloped by the crowd, I could feel its energy—amped up and slightly dangerous. Like people gathered at a street fight.
Not that I’d ever been to one of those.
As I watched, the guy who’d fallen got back up. He took a moment to compose himself—and then did something completely impossible.
He made an unfamiliar gesture, and the guy across from him flew backward.
The crowd gathered around the fallen man—but no one moved to help him.
I waited, but he didn’t get up.
There was a faint electrical tang in the air. One guy in the crowd caught my eye and grinned—like this was a joke we were both in on.
He raised an eyebrow.
Oops. I’d held his gaze too long. He probably thought I was flirting.
I hurried away.
As I pushed through the crowd, I considered what I’d just witnessed.
No one else seemed to think it was a big deal. They’d seen exactly what I had—and they’d laughed.
What was I missing?
I reached the other side of the main room without finding Sol. There was a hallway leading off from the big, open area—maybe to a bedroom area.
It looked empty. Probably off-limits.
But seeing as how I’d already crashed the party…
I stepped into the hallway and the sounds of the party dulled.
I shouldn’t be here.
Well, that much was obvious. I clearly didn’t belong at a party like this. But then again, where did I belong nowadays?
A few more steps into the hall, and then I heard it: the sound of voices. Muted—coming from behind one of the bedroom doors.
I followed the sound down to the end of the hall. The other doors had all been closed. This one was ajar.
I pressed close to the wall and sidled up to the crack in the door.
What the—?
Inside was Sol—and three other guys.
He had his back to me, though I could just see his face in profile. I had a very good look at the three men he was facing, however, and they did not look friendly.
In fact, if I’d walked in on this scene anywhere else, I’d have thought Sol was being mugged.
“Look, guys.” His hands were raised defensively. “When you invited us here, we were under the impression that the time share presentation would be optional.”
/> They looked at him blankly. They had a sort of military bearing—alert and unsmiling—but none of them was wearing any sort of uniform.
In fact, one of them had a face with multiple piercings and purple-streaked hair.
Sol said, “We’re not interested in joining your club, okay? Now, if you’ll kindly tell me where my sister is—”
The guy with the piercings gave him a disgusted look. “So you’re content to be hunted down like an animal.”
“I’ve been fighting the purebloods since you were in diapers.”
“Fighting? Don’t you mean hiding?”
The other guy, who was bigger and more muscle-bound, looked Sol up and down. “What did you expect? He’s one of the cowards from Sanctuary.”
Purebloods? Sanctuary? Did Sol understand any of this nonsense?
Even in profile, I could see that Sol was smirking now.
“That’s right. I’m a coward. So why would you want me in your army, anyway? Now if you don’t mind—”
He turned toward the door.
Or started to, anyway. He only got about halfway before he froze—or so it appeared.
His top half was still trying to wrench around toward the door. But it was as though his legs had turned to stone.
No one had touched him. So what was holding him there?
Piercings approached him. “That’s not how it works. If you’re not with Blood Right, then you’re with the Capitol. That means we treat you as the enemy.”
The hairs on my arms stood up.
This can’t be happening.
Sol seemed to struggle—unsuccessfully—against his invisible bonds. But his voice was calm as he said, “You don’t want to make me your enemy. It won’t end well for you. I promise.”
Piercings and Muscles exchanged a grin. “What do you say? Do we bring in the Strikers and let them use him for target practice?”
I felt a chill run the length of my body. I was way out of my depth here. But what could I do?
I had left my purse—along with my phone—in the car.
Stupid.
But maybe I could find a phone somewhere else.
I backed away from the door, barely daring to breathe.
Someone grabbed me.
I tried to scream, but there was a hand pressed over my mouth.
A voice spoke close to my ear. “This is a private conversation, sweetheart.”
