Return to the Beach

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “Ouch. But if I’m paying child support…”

  “Horse shit. You think money covers everything? Plus, Lisa has more money than you’ll ever have.”

  “Ha! That’s low, Vi. Jeesh.” He laughed, because it was true. “Lisa won’t even take my calls.”

  “You’re not trying hard enough,” Violet said. “What happened when you showed up at the hospital? Class act, by the way.”

  “Besides reinforcing that Lisa and I are really through and that I love Laura, nothing. I got to see the baby, but that was it. I wasn’t invited to bond with her like they do now, skin to skin or some bullshit like that. Her doctor boyfriend saw to it that I kept my distance. I won’t say it didn’t bother me…”

  “I heard he’s a hunk,” Violet said. “A little of the green-eyed monster, maybe?”

  “Maybe, but the last time I looked in the mirror, I looked pretty good,” he answered, laughing.

  “So what are you going to do?” Violet asked.

  “Nothing, until Laura starts in on me again. I guess I should see a lawyer, too. Get that apparatus in place.”

  “That’s a boy. I’m proud of you. Remember, you only have to be in their life. You don’t have to have shared custody. You can have visitation set up at the custodial parent’s house. And now that Alison and Lisa are living together, it will be even easier.”

  “Isn’t she going to marry the doctor?”

  “I don’t think so. It sounds like they aren’t rushing into anything.”

  Chapter 4

  It was the first night Lisa was home with baby Madelyn. After much cajoling, she’d convinced Alison she’d be fine alone, that if she needed anything, she’d call her. Pam had begged to stay over, but Lisa refused. Julie and Dan had the boys, and Megan was upstairs with Diana. Nelda’s feelings were hurt, but she told Lisa she understood. All the while, Steve waited in the background.

  “I remember wanting control of my house. My mother-in-law was a saint, but she was a little condescending. I wanted to put my baby in her bassinette next to the bed and go to sleep. Back in those days, you could take home the water carafe that was at your bedside in the hospital, and I had that and a flower arrangement that Frank had brought me on my night table. It was so cozy. I just wanted to nurse her in peace.

  “Pam might remember things differently, but I loved Marie. I was shocked when I got pregnant with her, but I was happy when I brought her home. I was proud of all my girls.”

  Hearing Nelda’s version of the birth of Marie was depressing enough. Lisa had heard Pam’s version, and it was quite different. She’d stick to the issue.

  “You’re right, Noni. I want control of my life back. This is my third baby, so I think I’ll be okay. I want to get into a routine as soon as I can. Plus we only have a few days before the big party, and I plan on going and showing Steve off.”

  The family was curious about what plans Steve and Lisa had, but no one inquired. It was clear they were in love, and he was doting and attentive. But Lisa wasn’t ready to invite another man into her space, and he seemed content to allow things to progress naturally.

  “So! What are we going to do now?” he asked her once everyone finally left.

  Plumping up the pillows behind her, he watched, smiling, as she nursed the baby, looking like a painting of the Madonna.

  Lisa looked up at him, a little grin on her face. “You tell me. You’re the doctor. How long do I have to wait after a section? I think it was six weeks for a vaginal birth. Oh, I get all tingly inside talking about births and surgeries.”

  “Ha! That doesn’t bother me. I want you, no matter what. In six weeks your cervix should be closed enough that it will be safe.”

  “Ugh! I also love talking about my cervix closing,” Lisa said, grimacing. “Six weeks seems like forever.”

  “Except we’ve already waited almost nine months. It’s going to be almost a year,” he said, sitting next to her, pulling the blanket away from the baby’s face. “What I meant when I asked what we were going to do now was more about our relationship as a whole. Do we get married?”

  “I’m okay with the way things are if you’re okay. Are you sick of going back and forth?”

  Debating if the truth would hurt her, he decided he had to be truthful no matter what. “I don’t mind. I sort of like having my own place. That might be a cop-out.”

  “I don’t think it is. I like my own space, too. I love you, but I like it like it is. I like the way we do it. It’s okay to leave things as they are. We’ll know when it’s time to change it. When it’s not enough for either of us, then we can either live together or get married. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Lisa, I don’t want to lose you, either. We’re in agreement. That sounds like a plan. The minute you change your mind, let me know.”

  “She’s sleeping. I think I’ll try to get some sleep.”

  “I’ll take her,” he said, reaching for the baby. “I’m going to straighten up the kitchen before I leave. Text me when you want me to come back. I took tomorrow off.”

  “Aw, isn’t that nice,” she said, offering her lips for a kiss.

  He put the baby in her little bed and tucked Lisa in before heading out to the kitchen. Nelda and Pam had already cleaned up, so there wasn’t much for him to do. He walked to the porch and stood in the dark window, looking out over the beach. The moon was full and bright, and the waves rolling in cast long shadows on the water. The distant clang of a buoy rang out. The lighted rigging of a late-returning fishing boat out to sea moved slowly south toward the harbor. It was an inspiring sight.

  In comparison, his seedy month-to-month executive apartment had a bike, surfboard and skis in the living room. He’d taken Lisa there once so they could be alone, and her response surprised him. Instead of the derisiveness he expected, she actually approved.

  “This is a space that is utilized exactly as it should be. All of your equipment set out like this is who you are. Perfect!”

  Looking around Lisa’s living room, he saw evidence of an adult who thought more of the children under her care than of herself. He got a little weepy thinking of Lisa, how selfless she was. When she was in the hospital, they’d had the conversation about her motives for caring for Cara Ellison and Dan Chua’s son. It was unimaginable separating Dan and Marcus. She said that when the children were older, she’d think more about doing for herself.

  “I just got under the wire getting Dan Junior in preschool, and now I have another baby, so it won’t be as soon as I thought.”

  He thought about spending the night on the couch, but didn’t want to go back to the bedroom and disturb her. Quietly leaving, he locked the door behind him, noting that lights were on in the apartment above. Alison would be there if Lisa needed anything urgently.

  At three that morning, baby Madelyn woke up to eat. Lisa held on to her sutured belly when she got up. It was the first night she’d decided to go without pain medication at bedtime, and she thought maybe she’d take something after she nursed.

  “Come here, you little cutie,” she whispered.

  When Megan was born and she was still living at Pam’s with her husband Ed, she’d realized that the middle of the night was the loneliest time for a new mother. Maybe it was her youth, or because she was a first-time mother, but now, with her third little one, she enjoyed the solitude. She imagined what it would be like with Steve snoring next to her. Ed had been useless. He was barely able to choose his clothes for work. Dan had never gotten up once, and she’d discover soon after that he had already been unfaithful to her. What would Steve’s drama be? So far, he seemed like a levelheaded, loving guy with few quirks. Could she really trust him not to change too much if they got married?

  Although she’d told him that she was satisfied with their current living arrangements, the truth was that she was more afraid of him turning out to be a jerk than anything else. It really wasn’t fair because they’d known each other now for almost a year. She hadn’t known Ed and Dan at
all when they got married, so it wasn’t fair to judge him based on those two.

  After burping the baby, she put her back down. Walking out to the living area to get her pain medication, Lisa looked around and smiled. In the darkness, with only the moon’s illumination, the little beach house looked like a set for a magazine shoot. A watercolor of the beach done by the owner of the house hung above the fireplace. Their shell collection marched across the mantle. Primitive painted furniture that had aged with years of renters’ abuse was perfect for the space. Lisa didn’t think she’d bring her own, dated furniture to replace it if the sale went through.

  In the kitchen, she made a cup of tea to drink out on the porch. The sea was calm now compared to the vista Steve had seen. The moon was almost behind the house, and stars were visible to the horizon. She sat in the rocker, watching, remembering.

  When she was a little girl, her father would cuddle with her in a beach chair, both wrapped up in blankets. Pam brought hot chocolate out for them, and they’d sit there for hours, Lisa often falling asleep in Jack’s arms to the droning of her parents’ voices. She wanted that experience for Megan. Dan would do it for the boys, but Megan didn’t have anyone. Randy was too wrapped up in his own endeavors now. Could she base a relationship with Steve on her need for Megan to have a father figure? A little voice said yes. The risks, the compromise, the inconvenience would be worth it for her. Steve loved her, he said.

  She got up and put the teacup in the sink. Back in the bedroom, she looked at her phone. It was just four thirty. The pain pill was starting to kick in. She decided to text Steve.

  Hi, baby only got up once, at three. I just took a pain pill and am going back to sleep. Will you marry me? Answer in the morning, please. XO PS Sorry if I woke you.

  At seven thirty, Steve woke up, grabbing his phone first thing. Two messages from Lisa got his attention, the first her proposal, which made him smile, and the second, an invitation to come over for morning coffee. She’d been up for half an hour.

  I’ll hop in the shower and be right there. Want anything from the Golden Arches?

  She answered with a smiling face and a no, thank you.

  Lisa was enjoying her morning. Without the big kids it was lonely, but peaceful. She could hear footsteps upstairs as Alison got Megan and Diana ready for school. Texting her that Steve was on his way, she hoped everyone stayed away for a while so she could reissue her proposal.

  I won’t come down, then, Alison texted. Let me know if you need anything. I have to shop for something to wear to your mother’s party Saturday. Do you think you’ll be able to go?

  Lisa answered, I’m planning on it. Want to show Steve off.

  That reminded Alison about something that Julie had said the day before. Dan had asked her to ask Alison if she’d like to meet a friend of his now that she was single again.

  “His name is Alan Stone,” Julie had said. “He’s a cop in Babylon. Divorced with no kids. He’s Dan’s age, so mid-forties.”

  “I’m interested,” Alison had said, as they all knew she would be. “Does he know I have two kids?”

  “Dan will mention that. He was over to the new house, and I think he got a little melancholy at the family scene. That’s when he said if we knew anyone we thought might like to date a cop, he was interested.”

  Can I call you? Alison texted Lisa.

  Seconds later, her phone rang. “Yes, you can call me,” Lisa said, laughing.

  “So what do you think about this Alan Stone guy Julie and Dan want to fix me up with?”

  “Go for it. Dan’s known him forever. He’s a really sweet man, funny and genuine.”

  “How’s he look?” Alison asked.

  Lisa had to bite her tongue to keep from saying that after Dave, anyone would be better. “Are you really asking that?”

  “I figure if I date a good-looking guy, my luck might change,” Alison answered, laughing. “Everyone is better looking than Don.”

  “Oh God, I forgot about poor Don! I was thinking of Dave,” Lisa said.

  “Hey, Pam dated Dave. He’s okay when he’s not dressed for the grocery store. Sort of loses that cardboard-box look he has.”

  “We’re being mean,” Lisa said. “I hope he’ll be very happy with Will.”

  “I think I’ll ask Dan to invite Alan to Pam’s party. I’d like to show up on someone else’s arm in front of those two.”

  “Yeah, my mom caved and invited Ryan,” Lisa said.

  “Why am I not surprised?” Alison replied.

  “Randy’s daughter and all. I guess she felt like we were strong enough to deal with him, and maybe her marriage isn’t strong enough for her to refuse Randy’s daughter. Don’t repeat that, but I feel like all is not happy in Braddock Town.”

  With a giant crane hovering overhead, Pam directed the placement of the gazebo, the last thing that didn’t have to wait until Saturday. It was going to be over the top this year, with masses of fairy lights, luminarias, and torches. In the morning, the rental company would return and set up all the tables and chairs. Pam had chosen linen tablecloths, an elegant addition to a festive scene. She was moving the potted palms that were on dollies when someone came up behind her and cleared his throat.

  She swirled around, balancing herself with a hand in the sand. It was Dan.

  “You look so enticing crouched down like that.”

  Offering him her hand, she needed help getting up and laughed out loud. “You’re either blind or desperate,” she said. “Come inside with me and have coffee.”

  He followed her in, looking around the beach first. First, to take note of the party setup, and secondly, to see if they were observed.

  “It looks nice out there,” he said. “You outdid yourself. I didn’t think it was possible after last year.”

  “I use the same people every year and just ask them to add on whatever new and exciting party product they have. I’m having the live band and the DJ again this year.”

  “I guess I’ll have to break down and dance with my wife.”

  “You’re such a wonderful dancer! I’d think you would want to take advantage of it,” Pam replied.

  “My wife is not such a great dancer,” he said, snickering. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”

  She put coffee down in front of him. “Do you want a donut?”

  “Yes,” he replied, snickering again.

  She brought the entire box out and placed it on the table. “No point in pretending.”

  “So I have a date for Alison. You might remember him. Alan Stone? He’s a local detective. We might have had a drink with him.”

  “Sort of,” she said, trying to remember. “Does he know she has kids?”

  “He does. He doesn’t care. He’s a one-day-at-a-time kind of guy.”

  “Ugh, do you really want to do that to her?” Pam asked.

  “He’s ready to settle down. He said so over at my place, looking at the boys’ toys strewn all over. So I think it’ll be okay. Anyway, can I bring him Saturday? It will be a good opportunity to meet her with all the people around and not be put on the spot.”

  “What’s one more person? Sure, bring him along.”

  They made small talk, and Pam felt there was something more on Dan’s mind than inviting Alan Stone to her party. Finally, there was a lull in the conversation.

  “So how’s everything here on Seaview?” he asked, looking at her.

  Pam’s antenna went up. She felt like everyone was in cahoots, asking her about her marriage. “It’s okay,” she said, standing up to clear away the donut mess. “Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t see you and Randy around much,” he said. “You used to be an item in town, cruising in his old Caddie, getting ice cream cones. I got used to seeing you together.”

  “He’s taken over Jack’s place at Lang. At first I thought it was okay, but now I’m not sure. It’s become an obsession. His kid is dating Ryan, too.”

  “Julie mentioned that. I guess it’s one of those
things that’s out of our control. It almost feels like he wanted them to hook up. He encouraged his daughter to get involved in the job, right? She’s attractive, and then there’s Ryan.”

  “He admitted to me as much, but don’t tell it to Julie, Dan. I shouldn’t even be talking about it. It’s like he wants to be connected to Jack in some way, and being married to Jack’s wife and owning Jack’s business isn’t enough. His child has to be involved with Jack’s child. Wow, this just occurred to me, but it’s so perverse I don’t even know if I should put it into words.”

  “Spit it out,” Dan urged.

  “I wonder if he thinks that if Ryan and Laura have a child together, that we’ll really be related.”

  “Now that’s sick,” Dan said. “But it might just be your imagination running away. You’re under a lot of stress with the party, and it looks like you’re doing it all alone again. Plus with Lisa just hatching, well, it’s scary.”

  “Forget I said anything. I was looking forward to Saturday. Now I’m not sure.”

  “You’ll have a good time. Will you save a dance for me?”

  Pam looked at him, at the unfiltered desire wafting from him, and she laughed out loud. “No way! You must have a death wish.”

  Laughing, Dan pushed away from the table and stood up. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

  “You need to go home to your wife. How’s the house? I noticed I haven’t been invited over yet.”

  Embarrassed, Dan stopped en route to the front door. “Pam, thank you so much for the loan. As soon as we clear a path from the front door, we’ll have you over. We aren’t the neatest people, and Julie won’t hire a housekeeper.”

  “I don’t care about that. But I understand. Tell her to call me, and she can have the number of my crew. They’re great.”

  She walked him to the front door, and as natural as if they’d done it that way every day of their lives, he turned to say goodbye to Pam and she was in his arms.

  Chapter 5

  Memorial Day

  The sun coming in over the drapes woke Randy up at six. He carefully got out of bed so as not to disturb Pam, who had worked herself into a frenzy over the party. The night before, he’d walked through the door to find her standing on an extension ladder in the middle of the foyer, washing individual crystal prisms on the chandelier.