Wedding Spells

by Morgana Best

  Wedding Spells

  The Kitchen Witch Book 10

  Morgana Best

  Wedding Spells

  (The Kitchen Witch, Book 10)

  Copyright © 2018 by Morgana Best

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN 9781925674798

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The personal names have been invented by the author, and any likeness to the name of any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  This book may contain references to specific commercial products, process or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, specific brand-name products and/or trade names of products, which are trademarks or registered trademarks and/or trade names, and these are property of their respective owners. Morgana Best or her associates, have no association with any specific commercial products, process, or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, specific brand-name products and / or trade names of products.

  By this act

  And words of rhyme

  Trouble not

  These books of mine

  With these words I now thee render

  Candle burn and bad return

  3 times stronger to its sender.

  (Ancient Celtic)

  Contents

  Glossary

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Connect with Morgana

  Next Book In This Series

  Also by Morgana Best

  About Morgana Best

  Excerpt from The Halloween Pumpkin Spell

  Glossary

  The author has used Australian spelling in this series. Here are a few examples: Mum instead of the US spelling Mom, neighbour instead of the US spelling neighbor, realise instead of the US spelling realize. It is Ms, Mr and Mrs in Australia, not Ms., Mr. and Mrs.; defence not defense; judgement not judgment; cosy and not cozy; 1930s not 1930’s; offence not offense; centre not center; towards not toward; jewellery not jewelry; favour not favor; mould not mold; two storey house not two story house; practise (verb) not practice (verb); odour not odor; smelt not smelled; travelling not traveling; liquorice not licorice; cheque not check; leant not leaned; have concussion not have a concussion; anti clockwise not counterclockwise; go to hospital not go to the hospital; sceptic not skeptic; aluminium not aluminum; learnt not learned. We have fancy dress parties not costume parties. We don’t say gotten. We say car crash (or accident) not car wreck. We say a herb not an herb as we produce the ‘h.’

  The above are just a few examples.

  It’s not just different words; Aussies sometimes use different expressions in sentence structure. We might eat a curry not eat curry. We might say in the main street not on the main street. Someone might be going well instead of doing well. We say without drawing breath not without drawing a breath.

  These are just some of the differences.

  Please note that these are not mistakes or typos, but correct, normal Aussie spelling, terms, and syntax.

  * * *

  AUSTRALIAN SLANG AND TERMS

  Benchtops - counter tops (kitchen)

  Big Smoke - a city

  Blighter - infuriating or good-for-nothing person

  Blimey - an expression of surprise

  Bloke - a man (usually used in nice sense, “a good bloke”)

  Blue - an argument

  Bluestone - copper sulphate (copper sulfate in US spelling)

  Bluo - a blue laundry additive, an optical brightener

  Boot (car) - trunk (car)

  Bonnet (car) - hood (car)

  Bore - a drilled water well

  Budgie smugglers (variant: budgy smugglers) - named after the Aussie native bird, the budgerigar. A slang term for brief and tight-fitting men’s swimwear

  Bugger! - as an expression of surprise, not a swear word

  Bugger - as in “the poor bugger” - refers to an unfortunate person (not a swear word)

  Bunging it on - faking something, pretending

  Bush telegraph - the grapevine, the way news spreads by word of mouth in the country

  Car park - parking lot

  Cark it - die

  Chooks - chickens

  Come good - turn out okay

  Copper, cop - police officer

  Coot - silly or annoying person

  Cream bun - a sweet bread roll with copious amounts of cream, plus jam (= jelly in US) in the centre

  Crook - 1. “Go crook (on someone)” - to berate them. 2. (someone is) crook - (someone is) ill. 3. Crook (noun) - a criminal

  Demister (in car) - defroster

  Drongo - an idiot

  Dunny - an outhouse, a toilet, often ramshackle

  Fair crack of the whip - a request to be fair, reasonable, just

  Flannelette (fabric) - cotton, wool, or synthetic fabric, one side of which has a soft finish. Breathable.

  Flat out like a lizard drinking water - very busy

  Galah - an idiot

  Garbage - trash

  G’day - Hello

  Give a lift (to someone) - give a ride (to someone)

  Goosebumps - goose pimples

  Gumboots - rubber boots, wellingtons

  Knickers - women’s underwear

  Laundry (referring to the room) - laundry room

  Lamingtons - iconic Aussie cakes, square, sponge, chocolate-dipped, and coated with desiccated coconut. Some have a layer of cream and strawberry jam (= jelly in US) between the two halves.

  Lift - elevator

  Like a stunned mullet - very surprised

  Mad as a cut snake - either insane or very angry

  Mallee bull (as fit as, as mad as) - angry and/or fit, robust, super strong.

  Miles - while Australians have kilometres these days, it is common to use expressions such as, “The road stretched for miles,” “It was miles away.”

  Moleskins - woven heavy cotton fabric with suede-like finish, commonly used as working wear, or as town clothes

  Mow (grass / lawn) - cut (grass / lawn)

  Neenish tarts - Aussie tart. Pastry base. Filling is based on sweetened condensed milk mixture or mock cream. Some have layer of raspberry jam (jam = jelly in US). Topping is in two equal halves: icing (= frosting in US), usually chocolate on one side, and either lemon or pink or the other.

  Open plan (house interior) - open concept

  Pub - The pub at the south of a small town is often referred to as the ‘bottom pub’ and the pub at the north end of town, the ‘top pub.’ The size of a small town is often judged by the number of pubs - i.e. “It’s a three pub town.”

  Red cattle dog - (variant: blue cattle dog) - referring to the breed of Australian Cattle Dog. However, a ‘red dog’ is usually a red kelpie (another breed of dog)

  Stone the crows! - an expression of surprise

  Takeaway (food) - Take Out (f
ood)

  Toilet - also refers to the room if it is separate from the bathroom

  Torch - flashlight

  Tuck in (to food) - to eat food hungrily

  Ute /Utility - pickup truck

  Vegemite - Australian food spread, thick, dark brown

  Wardrobe - closet

  Windscreen - windshield

  * * *

  Indigenous References

  Bush tucker - food that occurs in the Australian bush

  Koori - the original inhabitants/traditional custodians of the land of Australia in the part of NSW in which this book is set. Murri are the people just to the north. White European culture often uses the term, Aboriginal people.

  Chapter 1

  I had dated many unsuitable men in my time. Thieves, bigots, Librans—not a single one rode a motorbike, which I felt rather defeated the point of dating an unsuitable man. Now, I was going to marry my soul mate: Alder Vervain. He brought me coffee in the morning; he showed kindness to everyone, and he was a Virgo. He was perfect, which is why it confused me when Ruprecht mentioned a secret garden.

  Secret garden?

  Who cared about a secret garden! Did secret gardens have cute butts? Did secret gardens wear cool jackets and have dangerous smiles? Did secret gardens buy me ice cream and take spiders outside and rub my feet after I spent five minutes trying to run on the treadmill while watching dating shows I pretended never to watch? No.

  “How come I’ve never seen it before?” I put my hand on my hips and fixed Ruprecht with my best glare, pretending I wasn’t thinking about ice cream and foot rubs.

  Ruprecht shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a secret garden.” His lips twitched. After a long pause, he stood aside and allowed me to enter through the heavy wooden gates.

  Then it hit me why Ruprecht was talking about gardens: Alder and I had planned to marry in a garden, but I hadn’t found a suitable garden to date, and neither had my wedding planner, a fellow witch by the name of Prudence Pringle.

  I didn’t know whether to be annoyed Ruprecht had kept the garden’s existence from me, or whether I should be pleased he had offered it for our wedding.

  I had considered using my own garden, but was concerned that my long-deceased grandparents—my grandmother who could become the house, and my grandfather who lived in the garden amidst the trailing wisteria and the purple blossoms of the buddleia trees—might get carried away and do something to shock the guests.

  Prudence pushed past me. “It’s perfect, Ruprecht!” With that, she hurried off to inspect the garden.

  I rounded on Mint. “Did you know about your grandfather’s secret garden?”

  “Of course,” she said. “I used to play in it as a child. Thyme didn’t know, though.”

  Thyme shook her head vigorously, no doubt expecting a scolding from me.

  I had to admit, the garden was stunning. A little courtyard garden sat just off Ruprecht’s kitchen, but I had never guessed he had another, expansive garden. I was touched that he would allow the townsfolk in there, not that we had invited many people. Alder and I had no living relatives.

  The garden stood in stark contrast to Ruprecht’s combination antique and book store. The store harboured a variety of antiques, from an ancient Egyptian scarab bead to a Louis XIV inlaid armoire, and every manner of arcane object, such as alchemical athanors.

  The garden exuded whimsy and was clearly heavily influenced by Alice in Wonderland. Several bird feeders formed from giant tea cups sat at intervals on the manicured lawns. The one nearest to me was made from five giant teapots on saucers, the top one a bright red teapot with a giant yellow sunflower emblazoned across its face.

  There were several other similar pieces all fashioned into bird feeders. All bird feeders were made from quaint teapots, some in dainty florals and others in garish colours. Brightly coloured red and green rosellas happily picked from the seed lying on the ground. A massive wooden table sat under a hedge in the shape of a sofa, and was surrounded by glossy yellow iron chairs. I figured the Mad Hatter himself would feel at home here. I sat on a red bench seat surrounded by giant purple pansies, on paving comprised of black and white squares.

  I rubbed my forehead when giant, metal clock sculptures hanging from the hedge to my left caught my eye. Perhaps I was hallucinating or in a dream. Had I by some magical means fallen into the world of Alice in Wonderland?

  I shook my head to clear it. And that’s when a giant white rabbit wearing a waistcoat hopped towards me.

  Chapter 2

  Prudence hurried back and grabbed my arm. “Camino is coming,” she hissed.

  I came to my senses and realised the giant rabbit was Camino in one of her less bizarre onesies.

  Camino waved a massive paw at me. “Amelia!” she screeched. “Your wedding gown is coming on nicely.”

  I groaned inwardly. Camino had offered to make my wedding dress. Ever since then, I’d had recurring nightmares of the Vicar of Dibley’s wedding, with the bridesmaids dressed as the Tenth Doctor and Daleks. I was sure I would suffer a similar fate. But what could I do? Camino was a good friend and my next-door neighbour. I could hardly insult her by refusing her creation and instead buying the sort of beautiful wedding dress I loved watching on such shows as Say Yes to the Dress.

  Camino had been busy developing her fledgling onesie business, and I was concerned as her latest design involved onesie sleeping bags. She said they were ideal for camping, and if the tent caught on fire, the person could merely flee in their sleeping bag onesie rather than wasting time unzipping it and climbing out, perhaps in a state of undress.

  I couldn’t follow her reasoning. In fact, it would be my worst nightmare to wear a wedding dress sleeping bag onesie. No doubt Camino would think it multipurpose.

  There was no escaping it—my fate was to be dressed in some sort of ghastly onesie on my wedding day. And to make matters worse, Camino had said the wedding dress would be a surprise. I had no doubt I would be surprised, more like completely and utterly shocked and no doubt more than a little distressed. Still, I considered it was a small price to pay for friendship.

  I wondered what those wedding photos would look like. Thankfully, Camino hadn’t offered to make Alder’s wedding suit, so at least one of us would look good. My mind drifted away to Photoshop. It was a comforting thought.

  On a brighter note, Damon Stark, a client of Ruprecht’s, was doing the catering, and Prudence had everything else under control.

  “Are you all right, Amelia?”

  I looked up at Thyme. “No, to tell you the truth. I’m really concerned about Camino designing my wedding dress.” I looked around, but to my relief, Camino was not in earshot. “I’m so worried. There’s only a week to go until the wedding.” I clutched my stomach as a wave of nausea hit me.

  Thyme sat next to me and patted my shoulder. “I’m sworn to secrecy, but I’ve seen the design.”

  I looked up at her. “How bad is it?”

  She shook her head. “Like I said, I’m sworn to secrecy, but it’s actually quite lovely.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Are you joking?”

  She looked hurt. “Of course not. I wouldn’t joke about something as important as your wedding dress. I actually think you might like it.”

  I bit my lip. There was no use pursuing the matter further. If Thyme thought one of Camino’s creations was lovely, then clearly Camino had put her under some sort of spell and there would be nothing I could do to break it.

  My wedding photographer, Yarrow Larkspur, wafted over to me and threw a bunch of rose petals in my face. I sneezed violently.

  “And what a wonderful day it is,” he said. “Are you surprised?”

  “That Ruprecht has a secret garden?” Without waiting for him to answer, I pushed on. “Yes, did you know?”

  “Of course I knew,” he said with a smirk. “I am the wedding photographer after all. This is the ideal location.” With that, he threw some more rose petals over me and scurried away.

&
nbsp; Yarrow was in the local Wicca coven. People often got Wicca and traditional witchcraft mixed up; both were different types of witchcraft, and Yarrow had thrown himself into the Wiccan ways.

  “He wasn’t always like that,” Thyme said.

  I was puzzled. “Like what?”

  “Like that.” She nodded to Yarrow who was sniffing a native bottlebrush tree and smiling widely. “He used to be aggressive and had a violent temper, but he decided to become Wiccan. Now he’s a really lovely person.”

  “That’s good,” I said, wondering why Prudence was hurrying back over to me waving her hands.

  “You had better leave, Amelia. You shouldn’t be here while we’re planning your wedding.”

  I sighed and stood up. I don’t know why I felt a little down, but I could feel in my bones that something—something bad—was about to happen. I was about to remark on this to Thyme, when she took my elbow and ushered me out of the garden. “I’ll drop you back to your place. Maybe I could come inside for a glass of wine?”

  “Sounds like a good idea to me,” I said. “You know, Thyme, I was about to tell you that I have an uneasy feeling. I just don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel as if something is about to happen.”

  Thyme waved one hand at me in dismissal. “It’s simply pre-wedding jitters, I’m sure.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t think so, but I’ve never been married before, so I wouldn’t really know.”

  Thyme chatted happily to me all the way home, but the sensation of doom settled more heavily on me with every moment.