When We Touch
Page 21
I can’t wait that long. I don’t know what’s happening in Oceanside, and Ember can’t wait. Coco can’t wait.
Hustling to the elevator, I repeatedly press the little white button. Once inside, I pull out my phone, staring at the lock screen photo, a shot I’d taken of Ember and Coco on the beach that Sunday. How is it possible she already feels like mine?
The door opens with a ding, and I dash through the first floor to the building directory. Radical Bureau is on the second floor. I skip the elevator and take off down the empty hallway to the staircase lining the wall of windows. Holding the shiny steel rail, I pull myself up the stairs, trying to move faster.
The agency is in the center of the second floor. I pause a moment before approaching the glass doors. I’m wearing black jeans and a dark gray, long sleeved sweater with a light blazer on top. My hair has grown longer on the sides, my beard is a little thicker. I run my hands over both, hoping to smooth away any wildness. I want to appear friendly, non-threatening.
With a deep breath, I go to the door. My hand is on it when she looks up from her desk in the center of the reception area and our eyes meet.
Hers widen, and I pull the door open quickly, trotting to catch her as she’s out of her seat, making a dash for the side hall.
“Tiffany! Wait—I just need to talk to you!” I catch her hand on the door handle, and she gives a little cry.
The office is pretty empty. I assume most of the employees are at lunch.
“You’re not to be within a hundred feet of me, Jack Lockwood! I have a restraining order on you.”
I swear, you could dump ice water on my head, and I’d be less shocked. “Tiffany, why? What’s going on?” My voice breaks. “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m protecting myself!” She’s saying the words, but her eyes don’t meet mine. She doesn’t even try to pull her hand away.
“Please…” I look around the empty room. “Can we go somewhere and talk? Just for a few minutes? Whatever they told you, I can explain—”
Her blue eyes blink wide. “What can you explain? I went with you thinking you cared then you shoved me in a taxi in the middle of nowhere. You didn’t even give me back my shoes! Those were thousand dollar Louboutins!”
“Your shoes?” I step back, trying to remember. “You did this for a pair of shoes?”
“No!” She jerks her hand out of mine. “Brice said you hid a bunch of evidence about that case, the one where the little girl was killed? He said you’re trying to blackmail the firm and put everyone out of business.”
“He’s right about the last part.” Holding out my hand, we return slowly to the reception area, allowing the hall door to close. “The first part is a total lie. Brice hid the evidence. I found it. It’s why I was so upset that night, why I called the Lyft to take you back to the city. I went to his estate that night and confronted him.”
“You should have kept your word,” she sniffs. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. I have enough money to buy twenty pairs of Louboutins. And you have to leave me alone.”
A pain pierces my forehead. “Tiffany, tell me what Brice said. What deal did you make with him?”
“I’m not incriminating myself. Wagner and Bancroft are protecting me.”
“But it’s wrong.” I say the words quietly, evenly. “You know it’s wrong.”
“I know a poor old man who is about to retire could lose his job. He’s sorry it happened—he knows he made a mistake. Brice did what he had to do to protect him and keep the company in business.”
My throat is tight. My stomach is tight. My shoulders are tight. Everything is right here—Tiffany is the skeleton key to the whole fucking thing. Slipping my hand into the pocket of my blazer, I fumble with my phone as she goes around behind her desk.
“I’m going to give you one minute to leave before I call the cops and have you arrested.” She sits, her nose tilted in the air as if she’s won a victory.
“Tiffany…” I step to the side, leaning closer over her desk. “Tiffany Rogers.”
“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”
“If you only knew the truth. I hated cutting that night short. I wanted the same thing as you. I can still see you in the moonlight… you have such a beautiful body.”
“What?” Her brow furrows. “I-I’m not sure you’re allowed to say that to me.”
“Why not? It’s true. When you pulled off your dress and threw it over your head? It was pure sex. Remember that?” I grin, and she blinks down.
I don’t want her to be nervous. Switching gears, I look up to the ceiling. “What song was playing? It was that A-Ha song, ‘Take On Me,’ right?”
She leans forward and lowers her voice. “No, it was the Neutron Dance.”
“Yes!” I pretend to chuckle. “I hadn’t heard that song since I was a kid.”
“I’d never heard it before at all.” Her eyes dart around the room, blinking quickly.
“You were dancing.” I exhale a groan. “I can still see your body moving. Damn, girl.” Pulling my lip between my teeth, I raise an eyebrow. “I wanted you so bad that night.”
Her eyes darken and she leans closer, pushing out her bottom lip. “You had a shitty way of showing it. I was on my knees when you called that Lyft.”
Swallowing the tense knot in my throat, I lean closer. “That was the hardest call I’ve ever made. I wish we could go back. I dream of that blowjob you almost gave me.”
“Dream on,” her voice is cocky. “I would have blown your mind.”
“Too bad it never happened.”
“Too bad for you.”
I laugh and give her a wink. “I could kick myself for wasting that opportunity.”
She smiles and stands out of her chair, leaning closer to me. “You can make up for it now… just say the word.”
“I wish I’d touched you. Do you wish it?” I lean close, turning on full seduction. “Do you wish I’d tasted you, had you screaming my name?”
“Jack… I’ve always wanted that.”
Reaching up, I touch her lip with my thumb. “Why not just ask me?”
“I’m asking now,” she gasps.
Stepping back, I exhale loudly. “Perfect. That should do it.” Reaching in my pocket, I pull out my phone and speak into the recorder. “Thank you for clarifying, Tiffany Rogers, nothing happened between us that night.”
Tiffany’s eyes go round. “What?”
“I recorded you admitting you lied—nothing happened between us that night.”
“You can’t record me without my consent!”
“The law varies from state to state.” Looking down, I slide my finger over the face and send the file to Ian for safekeeping. “It’s permissible here, and I just sent it to Detective Ian Carney.”
“You’re a bastard, Jack Lockwood!”
“No, I’m not. I’m also not a sex offender.” I lift her purse off the back of her chair. “If you want to save your neck from a filing a false police report, what could be a felony charge, you’re coming with me now. You’re going to tell Ian the truth about Wagner and Bancroft and clear my name.”
“B-but…” She only hesitates a moment.
“Let’s go.”
Twenty-Four
Ember
“Fear and loathing…” Pastor Green’s voice is not a shout. It’s a thoughtful tone, an observation. “We live in troubled times where the minds of men are unsettled and God’s ways seem far from our ways.”
My eyes roam the small sanctuary. Tabby is two rows in front of me beside Chad Tucker. His arm is around her shoulder, and she looks content.
Coco sits beside me in the pew coloring in her children’s version of the program—Jesus and his disciples surrounded by the mermaids, goldfish, and sea horses she added.
“The story of the Good Samaritan tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, even when that neighbor is from a tribe or people group we abhor. Who can follow this command? The disciples asked this question…”
Jackson had called to tell me from his condo. When I saw his face on the screen, I actually hesitated before answering,
Looking back, I hate that I hesitated…
I hate that my mother got in my head enough to make me hesitate.
“It was all a lie,” he’d said, his warm voice causing tears to fill my eyes. “The crazy part was I didn’t even know they were doing it. I’d gone home to try and get my head straight, then I found you, and it wasn’t until I decided I had to set the record straight that I found out. I’m glad I didn’t wait any longer.”
“How can they do that without you knowing?” I’d asked, sitting on the swing with my daughter in my lap. “It seems like you’d have to be notified or they’d serve you with papers…”
“They were building a case against me to protect themselves. In case I came back to expose their corrupt practice, which I did.” The growl in his voice made me want to hold him, to soothe away the anger with my kisses.
“What now?” I’d asked quietly, hoping he would say he’d be home that night.
He didn’t.
“I’m going to finish up here, get with a realtor to sell my condo, take care of one other thing, and I’ll be home Sunday. I want you and Coco to go back to the cottage today.”
And we did.
Since Wednesday, we’ve been living in our home, waiting for my man.
“Therefore we live with this dichotomy—we want to help others, but we’re afraid of them.” Pastor Green catches my attention with those words. “So many people are afraid of so many things all at once. It leads to a poverty of mind… But God said, ‘Perfect love casts out all fear.’”
My eyes move to my mother sitting rigid at the end of the pew. I wish her expression would open to the words he’s saying, but instead she’s closed, irritated.
I’m pretty sure it’s because Pastor Green has stopped following her “sermon notes.” There’s no way in hell my mother would write a sermon about perfect love casting out fear or loving your neighbor, even when it’s someone you’ve been taught to hate.
Sitting in this holy place, I look down at my daughter, then press my eyes closed and pray for strength.
Maybe one day I can do things I simply can’t do now. Maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive this broken woman for all the misery she inflicted through bitterness and fear. As it is, when I left her house on Wednesday, I vowed never to look back.
It would take a miracle to change how I feel.
Pastor Green says his final words. “And now, let us pray to learn his perfect love.”
I bow my head, but I feel a tug on my sleeve. Cracking my eyes open, I see little round brown ones looking right up at me.
“I love Atlantia like it’s perfect. That’s how Jesus loves.” She blinks at me a few times, waiting for my approval.
“That’s how Jesus loves you.”
Her little brow relaxes and she smiles. I can see the pride in her face, and I’m pretty sure it would be hard for me to love anyone as much as I love Coco. Well, with one exception…
Out on the front lawn, my stomach tightens and a bubble of anticipation grows in my chest. Jackson is coming back today, and I want to see him, I need to see him so badly. I need to say I’m sorry I ever doubted him. I need him to hold me.
A little hand tucks into mine, and I glance down, thinking with a laugh, I need Coco to take a nice long nap.
We slowly make our way from the church. I don’t have to wait for my mother anymore, since there’s no way in hell I’m going to her house for lunch or anything else. Even that thought can’t deflate the happiness in my chest.
Tabby exits through the double wooden doors with her hand clutching Chad’s bicep. She finally got over herself and gave him a chance. He looks pretty proud of himself, too.
I’m lost in that thought when a pinch on my elbow makes me jump. “Ow! What?”
Betty Pepper is at my side speaking conspiratorially—like nothing ever happened. “Tabby and Chad make a handsome couple.” The old woman smiles, and I’m about to tell her I’m not baking Chad’s penis if that’s what she’s after… But she surprises me. “Saw your store on the internet last night. Tabby told me to look at it.”
“Is that so? What did you think?” I’m not about to tell her I haven’t even seen the site yet.
Getting the store’s website up and running has been Tabby’s pet project since forever, but I didn’t know she’d launched it.
“She thinks I should team up with you and add a page for André and his sandwiches. Do a page for the town.” Her mouth twitches, and I swear, as long as I live, I’ll never know if Betty Pepper likes or dislikes André. “Never knew he’d get to be such a celebrity when he asked if he could sell those poboys out front.”
“André’s poboys are amazing.” I unquestionably think André is pretty great. “It’s a smart business move. Tabby is really excited about modernizing the town and helping bring back the tourists.”
She tugs on her pale blue blazer and sniffs. “How much are you paying her to do all that?”
“She gets a percentage of the sales she generates, so she basically pays for herself.”
A stiff nod. “I’ll think about it.”
Just then Bucky walks up, and I take a step back. My jaw tightens, and it’s the one thing that pricks the bubble in my chest.
“Hi, Ember.” He ducks his head and looks up at me through those enormous glasses.
I’m about to turn on my heel and walk away when Betty pinches his arm, causing him to jump. I don’t miss the stern look she gives him.
“I’m sorry for acting inappropriately. I’m working on treating women…” his eyes drift to the right, and BP mouths the words. “Right… I’m working on treating women with the dignity and respect they deserve.”
Betty turns her face toward me, chin lifted as if she’s the proud mother of a first grader. It kind of reminds me of something that happened in church just now… I look down at the little girl holding my hand and waving across the lawn to Polly.
“I accept your apology.” My tone is crisp, and I don’t even try to mask my annoyance. “I hope you’ll keep working until you master the behavior.”
His face breaks with that awful grin. He leans forward, and I recoil. “Want to try another date?”
“I’d rather kiss a mangy—”
“Mommy!” Coco jerks my hand. “Mommy, look!”
She’s jumping up and down, and my eyes go to where she’s pointing. In that moment, everything melts away.
At the street is a sleek black Audi, and leaning against it with his arms crossed, his dark hair moving in the breeze, is Jackson Cane. That panty-melting smile appears, complete with dimple and straight white teeth.
Every nerve ending in my body lights up, and an enormous smile splits my cheeks. Coco tosses my hand aside and takes off running to him. I follow her slowly, my eyes never leaving his.
“Ember?” Bucky calls after me. “What about our date?”
“Not in a million years.”
Jackson bends down and sweeps Coco onto his hip, and I continue moving forward, drawn by unstoppable force. He reaches out his hand, and mine quickly goes into it. The crowd on the front lawn of the church stills, and all eyes are on us. I couldn’t give a shit. I go straight into his embrace, and he leans down to kiss me, slow and sure, lips parted, tongues caressing. It’s possible my leg bends.
“You’re kissing Mommy again,” Coco grumbles from where she sits on his arm, and our kiss is broken by our laughter.
I pull back so our eyes can meet, and when I see ocean blue, I’m swept away.
“Let’s go home.”
* * *
Lunch finished, we’re on the beach in our secluded cove. Coco sleeps on a quilt spread under the umbrella. I’m on a fluffy white towel leaning my cheek against Jackson’s
damp, salty shoulder.
“So that’s it?” I’ve been watching the waves gently rolling over themselves while he told me the story of the last week. “Once you found Tiffany, she confirmed you’d been framed because you found that hidden evidence?”
“That’s the short version anyway,” he says, looking down. Warm lips press against the side of my head, and I smile. “We had to go through a few other formalities, file complaints, make official statements, have Tiffany’s original complaint withdrawn… But essentially, yes. Once I’d caught her in the lie, it all fell apart like a house of cards.”
As happy as I feel, I can’t shake the one thing nagging at me. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”
“Shh—I’ve already said not to worry about it.” He leans back against the wooden prop, and I cross my arm over his lined abdomen. His warm hands move up and down my back. “You were worried about Coco.”
“Still, I should have let you explain. I’ve known you since we were kids.”
“You were appropriately cautious.”
My lips press into a frown, and he leans forward to kiss it away. “Think we can walk out into the water while she sleeps?”
The sizzle in his eye heats my bikini bottoms, and I glance at my sleeping daughter. “If she wakes up, she’ll come to where we are.” His expression changes, and I clarify. “We should have plenty of time to get ourselves together if that happens.”
Eyebrows waggle, and I laugh, standing and holding his hand as we walk into the warm water. We continue walking, the water rising slowly up my legs, to my knees, up to my waist. Without realizing it, I shiver, wrapping my arms over my stomach.
Jackson is with me at once. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” I shake my head. “I’ve never had this feeling in the ocean, this fear. I’ve only ever felt it in my dream…”
“Your dream?” Our eyes meet, his full of concern. “Tell me about it.”
We’re deep enough that I can wrap my legs around his waist. He holds me against his chest, and I lean my head forward, speaking close to his ear.
“It started in middle school. I don’t know what triggers it, but some nights, I’ll dream I’m being held down in the dark. I’m with my dad and Minnie… I sense they’re there, but they don’t answer me when I call.” Another little shiver and his arms tighten around me. “Water pours in from the window in clear arches. It rises from the floor, higher and higher up my legs.” Pausing, I consider what Betty Pepper told me. “I didn’t know I was in the car that night. The dreams stopped when we were together, and when they started after you left, I thought it was because I missed you so much.”