Unforgettable Christmas - Gifts of Love (The Unforgettables Book 3)

by Mimi Barbour

“But you aren't?” she asked tentatively. He had mentioned his feelings last night, but seeing his actual reaction to knowing Frenzy was here really put things into perspective.

  “Yes and no.”

  In that moment, Cara realized this man was as vulnerable for similar reasons. Trying to do their best for the people they loved the most- their kids. Not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes, your own feelings had to be cast aside to make someone happy. And with how much she'd been doing that lately and feeling the side effects from it, she related well. Not that she liked the idea of someone else going through the struggles she'd been, but for the moment, the loneliness and isolation eased.

  Grabbing her purse, Cara reached out to touch his hand. He moved at the same time and their fingers connected. A heated gaze settled between them. Cara's heart did a funny little dance. “Come on. I think we could both use a quiet night out. Let me tell my friend I'll be back. Actually, I'll send her a quick text. That way I don't disturb the kids.” She retracted her phone and sent a message, then dropped it back in her purse.

  Outside by the car, Lance hesitated before he opened the passenger door for her. “Hey, Cara. Thank you.”

  Confused, she looked in his eyes. “For?” What in the world would he have to thank her for?

  “Understanding. You're the only person who knows where I lay the blame. I can't bring myself to say things like this to my family. I feel like one of a kind lately- that I'm the only one feeling this way. I know it's not true, but I can't help that feeling, ya know?”

  Boy, did she. “Yeah. I was just thinking the same thing. And you're welcome, not that there's really a need for thanks.” She ducked and climbed in his car. Nice, clean. Fresh. Neat. Yeah, somehow, she pictured this as Lance's lifestyle. She'd pegged part of him correctly. Stifling a laugh at the same time Lance climbed in the car, she tried to keep quiet. Didn't work. Why was she even laughing, anyway? How awkward! Lance, and the way she felt around him, made her nervous.

  He cast a quirked brow her way. “What's so funny?”

  Heat rushed to her cheeks. “I'm not sure. I was thinking about how I guessed correctly about you.”

  Lance started the car. “Should I be worried?” His tone was light and teasing.

  “No. Your car, it's clean and organized. Somehow by looking at you, this is exactly what I guessed.” What would he think? Ugh, why did it matter? Cara was tired of scrutinizing her own words and thoughts, but couldn't stop doing it. Force of habit, and a bad one. Maybe she needed to make a New Year's resolution to break these crappy habits.

  “Hmm. Is that a good or a bad thing?” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

  “Good. You also like to keep moving,” she guessed, getting into the conversation more without feeling so odd over it.

  The tapping stopped. “Yeah, I guess I do. Okay, you keep guessing about me, so I need to see if I can do the same by watching you.”

  “Oh really?” Cara laughed. She wanted him to watch her. The though riveted her. Not that she was one to crave attention, but now that she had it...

  “Don't worry. I won't watch you while I'm driving. By the way, what kind of food do you like?”

  “Tonight? Anything but pasta.” Knock that one off the list of things to buy for a while. The visual of blackened pasta still haunted her mind. She'd associate pasta with parent failure and upset kids for a while.

  “Have you tried out the new deli up the street from the grocery store?”

  She hadn't, but had been hearing about it for so long. Cara wanted to, but never found the time. “No.”

  “How about we go there?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  *****

  Lance enjoyed the 'Watching Cara' game. Actually, her habits and gestures were hard to peg. So she could get him correctly. Was it the way he tucked in his shirts? The slacks? He debated on asking her what gave it away and how she guessed him to be organized.

  The one thing he noticed about her was she always looked around nervously, very aware of her surroundings and the people. “You're either a people watcher, or you're nervous about something,” he blurted.

  Cara stopped picking at the tomato slice hanging from her sandwich and narrowed her eyes. “Is this you trying to peg me?”

  “A little. I notice this because I'm trying to peg you.” He smiled, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “I'm a little of both. I watch people for their reactions, and I am nervous for several reasons.” Her cheeks reddened. Lance loved the way he easily made her blush, not that he meant to do it.

  “Reactions? To what?”

  A heavy silence fell over the table. Cara scanned the deli before facing him again. “Force of habit. I guess even when he's not around, I watch the people around me because of how Alex is at times. I've had several rude comments about his behaviors. Until you pointed it out, I never realized how much I do this.” Setting her food down, Cara sat up straight. “Now I feel all weird.”

  “Wasn't meant to make you feel weird. I'm sorry if that's what happened. I was just trying to find quirks about you.” Lance shot a hand across the table and reached for hers. The contact sent a sizzling reaction up his arm. He hadn't touched a woman, even just a gentle hand cover, in a long time before the last few days. Cara's eyes met his.

  “And there I go again. I am. I'm very... odd lately. Intimidated, I guess. No, that might not even be the right word. I feel like I'm singled out, but I think it's more my overactive imagination and stress about my kids growing up in this world. Shelly is a social butterfly. She loves to do things and make friends. Alex wants to, but he's different in their eyes. He gets misunderstood. He's a brilliant kid. He can talk just fine, but in many cases, doesn't.”

  “Then there's bullies like the one I saw the other night,” Lance said softly, still keeping his hand over hers. He was well aware of this and how it made him feel, but didn't move it yet. Cara didn't seem to mind, so he left it that way until there was a reason to move it or she did.

  “Yeah. Most of the time, Shelly is good with her brother. Days like today, when to her it feels like Alex is my primary concern, she gets upset. Guess I can't blame her. Not that I'm doing what she says, but...” A heavy, long sigh escaped her lips. “Enough about me and my problems. I'm sure you have enough to deal with. Tell me about you.”

  “You can't just guess?” He winked, finally breaking contact to pick up his drink.

  “I'm not always good at guessing games. Just for some reason, when I see a well dressed, good looking man who tucks in his shirts even dressed casually, that's what I think.” Cara shrugged, a smile forming on her lips.

  “Ha! That's not always the case, I can assure you. My brother dresses like I do, and that man's the most disorganized clutter maker I know!” Lance shot back playfully. So she thought he was good looking. Why did that satisfy him so much? “If we'd ended up in his car, the disorganization would have swallowed you whole. I'd have to be a search party of one to find you.” They both laughed.

  “Touche. For what it's worth, I'm glad we took your car. I think I'm lost enough as it is.” Her eyes crinkled as her smile grew. With the ice broken, they were finally getting somewhere in conversation without being so odd.

  “Okay, back to the subject at hand. You want me to tell you about me...” He thought about what he wanted to divulge. She already knew deep thoughts, so time to go simple. “I grew up here in Shady Springs. Never been anywhere else to live, though I've traveled.” Most people sent postcards of snow, but here in Southern Arizona, that didn't happen.

  “Do you like the small town life?” Cara asked, finally popping the tomato into her mouth. Why Lance was so fascinated with watching her eat it, he wasn't sure. But his gaze never left her mouth. Her lips parted slightly when she chewed, though she worked hard to chew with her mouth closed. Considering how much effort she put into it, Lance pegged her as normally chewing with her mouth open. Wonder what she'd say if he said this out loud? Would she do the cute blushin
g thing again? “It took me a while to get used to it after moving here a few years ago when my husband was alive.”

  “It has its perks. Guess I won't know if there's more to it unless I move to a big city. At the moment, I have no plans to do that.” He couldn't imagine moving far from his family, especially with Tamara being the only grandchild. His mother would never hear of it. That was fine, because he didn't want to leave.

  “I've contemplated moving away, but now that I'm used to small towns, I'm not sure I'd handle the big city well, especially with how I'm handling things right now.” Her smile wavered. “And there I went again.” Pushing at her now empty plate, Cara glanced around the room again.

  Lance downed the last of his drink, checked the time, and studied Cara. Dinner went by way too fast. He didn't want the night to end yet, and it was more than not wanting to take Frenzy home. “Want to go looking at Christmas lights? I always find a nice drive is a good calming mechanism.”

  “I-” Cara halted her hand with her cup in mid air.

  “I could use some calm, too. To be honest, I'm probably stalling so I don't have to deal with taking Frenzy home yet,” he admitted. Why not, he'd already told her how he felt about the situation.

  “If Alex's attachment wasn't so strong, I'd say let Frenzy stay with us until you're ready and your daughter is home, but it might not be a good idea.”

  “I know. It's a no win here. I should be a man and suck it up.”

  “Easier said than done.” Cara sympathized with him. He could tell by the way she looked at him. “Let's do it. Let's take a ride.”

  Chapter Eight

  “You know, that actually put me in the Christmas spirit a little,” Cara told Lance as they pulled up in front of her house almost two hours later. She had a great evening with him. A simple talk, dinner, and the drive really did calm her. Sometimes they talked about simple things, others moments they discussed the ups and downs of parenthood. It was like they were old friends.

  “I almost want to decorate, too. Tamara would love the decorations up when she came home. I kinda want to wait for her to be home to do it, though. It's not fun on your own.” He ran a hand through his hair after pulling the car up her driveway. “If it weren't for her, I wouldn't even bother.”

  They climbed out of the car at the same time. Lance strolled so close to her, their fingers brushed each others. Every time they were in close proximity, her heart flip flopped. A quick passing, but Cara almost fully reached for his hand before realizing she shouldn't. Something about the closeness and the comfort called to her, but taking it to a different level and being bold made her think twice. What was she doing? Losing her mind, that's what.

  Standing on the front porch, they faced each other. “So,” she started. Now he'd come in, pick up Frenzy and that was that? Would she ever see him again? Cara couldn't deny that she wanted to.

  “I don't want this night to end,” Lance said at the same time. “Not just because I have to take Frenzy home, either.”

  She gestured at the door. “Come on in for a while, let's at least get out of the cold. You can work your way to taking Frenzy home. We'll talk for a while or watch a movie. No one says you have to leave right away.”

  “What about Alex and Shelly? Aren't they coming home soon?”

  “Actually I got a text from Tess a while ago. Alex is sleeping, so we decided to leave him be for the night. Shelly said she'd stay, too. Probably because she's not ready to see me yet.” Cara pulled out her keys and found the one to the door. Once inside, she breathed in, taking in the comfort of a warm surrounding. Even with opening the kitchen window a crack to air out the house, it still didn't change the room temperature much. She couldn't even smell any trace of the burnt dinner. Lance closed the door as she headed to the kitchen to shut that window. They bumped into each other as she was leaving the kitchen. Any more encounters like this and no telling what she'd do.

  “Whoa.” Strong arms gripped hers. She trailed her gaze up to his face. Heat brewed between them, hotter than a Christmastime fireplace. Her heartbeat thrummed louder than thunder in her chest. Sucking in a sharp breath, Cara tried to calm herself down. It didn't work much. Lance being here awakened plenty of feelings, many she didn't know how to handle right now.

  She should move. Break the contact. For some reason, Cara couldn't get her body to work with her brain. They were on opposing sides, creating a raging war that left her unsettled and confused.

  “Do you ever think you'll marry again?” Lance asked, his voice low.

  What in the world? That came out of left field. Cara blinked, stepping back. “I-I'm not sure.”

  “Yeah, me neither.” He continued to watch her. “I know, I caught you off guard. I guess it's been on my mind. Then meeting you, knowing you have similar backgrounds makes me wonder. Tamara longs for a mother and sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever be enough for her. I swear, I think I'm freaking you out and that's not my intention.” He laughed. He was nervous, too. His laugh came out almost forced. “Sometimes I say what's in my head out loud because I can't anywhere else. Not in front of my family or my daughter.”

  “Yeah. I get that.” Cara licked her lips, wishing she had a drink to soothe her dry throat. Nerves floated in her belly. “I find myself doing the same thing around you.”

  Movement behind Lance caught her attention. There came Frenzy. He darted from the hallway and squeezed between Lance's feet. Startled, Lance almost stepped on him. What really caught Cara off was the utter look of terror on Lance's face.

  He really was having a hard time with his feelings toward the ferret. Okay, she could understand. If she felt someone or something was to blame for an accident which harmed one of her kids, she'd probably do the same thing. It was natural.

  “Maybe we should start up a buddy system,” Lance suggested. Relief flashed across his face when Frenzy darted away, exploring underneath her dining room table. Frenzy was familiar with the house. How had she not realized Alex kept him in here before? Frenzy was cute, but even if he didn't belong to Tamara and Lance, she wouldn't be able to keep him.

  “Oh?” Her interest piqued, wondering what he meant by that.

  “You feel like you're drowning in parenting and life, right?”

  “Yeah...” She drew out the word.

  “Then maybe we should stick together.”

  “Lance,” Cara laughed, unsure what to say. She shouldn't have laughed, either. Terrible nervous habit. The last thing Cara wanted was for him to think she was laughing at his suggestion. Ugh, how inappropriate!

  “You're nervous again.” He stepped closer to her. “Because of me?” Lance's voice was just above a whisper. If she were a brave woman, she'd kiss those lips. Run her hands along his smooth face, then bury her face in his neck. But she wasn't brave. Stick to dreaming.

  “Yes. You have me all sorts of confused.”

  “I do that sometimes. I'm rambling and I know it, but I'm all sorts of confused myself. I'm usually not this way- in the confusing part, anyway.” He reached for her hand. Warm fingers curled over hers, sending alarm signals all through her body. “I guess what I'm trying to say is I like you, Cara.”

  Something in her heart warmed. “I like you, too,” she managed. “Want to sit down?”

  “Yeah. I'd like that.” His heated gaze never left her face.

  Frenzy bumped into a chair, startling them both. Cara and Lance turned around, but the animal had already run off a different way. She faced Lance again. His eyes darkened “He always loves to run.” An angry tone tinged his voice. “I hope he hasn't caused any damage in your house. He's good at ours when he runs free, but this is a new environment.”

  “I haven't noticed anything, which is another reason why I never even imagined he'd be here.” Cara didn't have any thoughts or advice to make this easier on him, so wordlessly she took his hand and led him to the living room. They sat less than six inches apart on the couch. One move and they could touch again. Who would give in first? He acted like h
e wanted to kiss her all night, but like her, Lance held back.

  “Shouldn't it be easy to pick him up, get in the car, and take him home?” Lance heaved a sigh.

  So much for kissing. Not that it mattered. They weren't here to make out like crazy teenagers.

  “Not if your feelings are conflicted,” Cara finally replied.

  “What would you do?”

  She reeled back. What would she do? “Fight my inner demons while doing the best for my kids.” As she'd always done.

  “Yeah.” His lower lip disappeared and his tongue darted out. Cara forced herself to stop staring so hard. “Me too. Hey,” Lance suddenly repositioned his body toward her. “I'm sorry. I'm all over the place at the moment spouting random, strange stuff and I don't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “You don't-” Her voice cracked. Ha! He probably saw right through her. A partial lie. Lance himself wasn't the one making her uncomfortable. It was the way she reacted to his presence. The more time she spent around him, the more she found reasons to like and relate to him. And frankly, she didn't have time for all that. Not when her kids needed her and she couldn't even be there for them equally. She was a bit of a mess herself, aside from those already major issues.

  “No?” He shifted in his seat. If Lance moved any closer, they'd practically be on top of each other. Was this it? Did he plan to kiss her? Would she go for it? Cara wanted to, but didn't at the same time.

  “It's not directly you.”

  “I should go.” Lance suddenly jumped up, like something stabbed him from behind. It killed the moment and her heart sank, though she'd expected nothing to happen in the first place.

  *****

  Lance thought about kissing Cara. But that would mean he'd have to give in to the thought of wanting to. Push and pull, push and pull. Yeah, Lance was all sorts of confused tonight. “Frenzy!” he called, hoping the darn ferret would warm up to him again so they could go. He headed for the dining room, where he'd last seen him.