But her sacrifice was also for the sake of Toby’s life.
Her hands moved over his skin in the soothing touch she’d given him whenever he’d been burned, accepting the sacrifice she must make.
She went to the door and asked Rob to bring a wash bowl. An eager crowd pressed forward but she closed the door in their faces, locking it until Rob returned.
She filled the bowl with warm, soapy water and a facecloth, picked up a towel and returned to Toby. He was breathing deeply. Careful to avoid his bandages and burns she’d covered with sterile gauze, she washed the smoke grime from his face and body. Her own body thudded with need at the intimacy of the touch, but his need was greater. Her soapy hands moved over his chest, stomach and arms, rinsing him with the wash-cloth and patting him dry with a towel, her mind and heart filled with beautiful, impossible visions, and her body…
He groaned as she cleaned his exposed legs and feet. “Thank you, Giulia.” He sounded hoarse with repressed sensuality.
“Hair next,” she whispered, throat thick. She lowered the gurney, rinsed the bowl and added fresh water. When she returned, he’d moved to the end of the gurney. She made a makeshift table from the trolley and shampooed his hair, trying to be gentle, but she knew her fingers moved with the same pounding pulse of sexuality that controlled her because she was near him. She didn’t dare ask if his groans were of relief at losing the hated smoky smell or because he was as aroused as she.
By the time she’d towelled his hair touch-dry, she didn’t know which of them had undergone the sweetest torture. Unable to stop herself, she bent and kissed his lips, slow and lingering.
He opened his eyes and smiled, his eyes filled with the same anguished desire as hers. “Please tell me that was less of a thank-you for today’s efforts, or even in much-needed forgiveness for all my stupidity and selfishness with you, and more that you’re sexually overwrought by touching my half-naked body.”
She chuckled, bent and kissed him again. “How about all of the above?”
“I’ll take it.” He sat up on the gurney, got to his feet, smiled with that slow-dawning sensuality and made a beckoning motion with his bandaged hand. “Tell me, my Giulia,” he murmured, close, so close. “Say the words.”
“I can’t,” she whispered back, swaying against him. “I know you love me. I know you find me…attractive enough. But the rest…” She shook her head hopelessly, wanting to cry. He’d just risked his life to save her from marrying Orakis. Why couldn’t she believe?
“Then I’ll wait.” His eyes were like a sunlit morning; his dimples flashed as he smiled at her. “If I have to wait the rest of my life, I’ll prove it to you somehow.
“Now, what were you going to say to me before?” he went on, as if he hadn’t turned her world spinning the other way with those simple words.
Through a throat so filled with a pounding pulse she could barely speak, her voice came, a strangled croak. “I can’t stand the thought of life without you.”
“That’s disappointing, beloved. I knew that already.” With his bandaged hand, he drew hers to his mouth and kissed it. “What you ought to have said is something about how much you want me, that all that washing of my naked chest, stomach and back drove you as wild with desire as it did me.”
How could she be shaking with half-crazed want and smothering laughter at the same time? “I do, and it did,” she managed to say.
“Good,” he growled softly, moving his hips against hers with luscious intent, and she moaned. “Now, tell me you want me. I’ve waited years to hear it.” He smiled at her panicked silence, bent and kissed her throat, slow, hot and lingering. “Then I’ll start. I love being your best friend—but I also want to be your lover, Giulia.” The whisper, soft and husky, seemed to come from the deepening velvet of the dusk falling outside. “For ten years I’ve wanted to kiss your mouth, to touch your body, to undress you and fill my hands and mouth with your beautiful breasts, to move inside you and feel you come apart in my arms.”
She gasped and quivered. Her mind spun with delicious arousal, her breasts ached, and deep inside she was thudding with hot, craving want. The craving for him, him alone, that she hadn’t conquered after all these years.
“Want you?” she cried with a wild laugh, unable to stop the dam of repressed longings bursting open. “I hunger for you. I starve for you. When you’re near me I ache and crave; my whole body’s alive and hurting to touch you, to make love with you. It’s been a screaming need in my soul since you stripped off your shirt in front of me after you moved into our house, and nothing that’s come between us has changed it. You’re it, you’re the one, and it’s killing me inside that these few days are all we can have together!” She turned away as she asked huskily, “Why didn’t you kiss me years ago? Why didn’t you make love to me instead of all the girls you say you can’t remember and I can’t forget? Why didn’t you give me the one thing that would have made me feel beautiful and wanted, that would have made me believe—?” A sob escaped her throat.
His arms enveloped her; gentle, bandaged hands pressed, and her head fell to his undamaged shoulder. He didn’t answer the questions they both knew were rhetorical. Her arms wrapped around his waist, drinking in his skin with tiny movements of her palms and fingers. She breathed in the still-just-smoky, hot scent of him, so wonderful to her because it was him.
“I warned you not to make me let it all out,” she whispered after a long time. “I said too much.”
“It was perfect.” He softly kissed her hair. “I’ve waited ten years for you to tell me what you feel for me. You made it worth every moment.”
There was nothing to say in response. “I love you” seemed almost trite after all she’d said. So she turned her face, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
Then the hunger filled her, and the slow, hot kisses she poured all over his throat, undamaged shoulder and chest only fuelled the need. Aching to her fingertips, her hands roamed his skin; she turned him round and kissed his back, caressing his stomach, so aroused and filled with need for him that nothing else mattered. The craving inside her was pain; she couldn’t stop.
Then she felt the slight tremors running through his tough, strong body—and knew he wasn’t moving or speaking because he was exhausted and in need of pain relief and couldn’t bring himself to tell her. Love filled her and overflowed. Always putting her first…
She led him to the big, carved-oak bed at the end of the room and lifted the covers. “Lie down, Toby. I’ll ask the doctor to come in.”
“No. I don’t want anyone else.” He lay down and held out his arms. “Just you. Even if it’s only for a few minutes before the old guy busts us.”
She smiled at his cheeky terminology for His Majesty, crossed to the left side of the bed, lying down beside him, snuggling into his chest. “I’ll have to go soon anyway,” she said quietly. “I need to go check on Max.”
He stilled. “I see.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, feeling wretched. “But he’s been so good to me. He risked his life today too, and I…”
“I know. It’s not your fault.” The words were weary.
“It’s never going to be the same for us, is it? Our friendship won’t be the same.”
She felt the sigh come from deep inside him. “No.” He tipped her face up to his with a bandaged hand, his jaw taut, showing the physical discomfort it cost him. “Did I put you through this kind of torment when I went on those stupid dates?”
She looked into his eyes, saw the anger and useless regret, the hopeless wanting and all the pain, and choked out the words: “Every time.”
“Bloody idiot,” he muttered. “If I’d told you…”
“If I’d told you,” she sighed. But what-ifs were useless. She’d accepted her duty and privilege; to renounce her position would make an impossible situation for Charlie and Jazmine, and put Toby’s life in danger. That was the reality she had to deal with.
“There has to be a way for us to be together,
Giulia. It can’t end like this, after all these years. I can’t stop thinking about it, trying to find a way for us.”
The hard, exhausted growl made her quiver for a moment with hope—then it crashed and burned like the building today. “There is none.”
“Damn it, there has to be. We can’t just give up.”
She looked up at him. “What is there, short of a miracle? Even if I could renounce my position, I can’t live a private life now without the press making our lives a nightmare. I’ll always be the Australian-born sister of Hellenia’s king. You can’t become a prince. The people wouldn’t allow it.”
Toby swore. “All this ridiculous fuss over bloodlines. If we’d married a year ago—or five—we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
She sighed. “I know.”
She felt him withdrawing from her without moving. She understood that; the need to lock away some small part of herself every time he’d been with someone else had been her lifeline since his first date with Mandy.
“I wish…” But she couldn’t finish it, couldn’t wish that he’d never spoken, never kissed her. She just wished Dr Evans had never spoken to Toby.
“No matter what happens, I’ll be here when you need me,” he said quietly. “That’s what best friends do.”
“Yes,” she whispered, wanting to say, “I’ll be there for you too,” but they both knew it was a promise she couldn’t make or keep. “Sleep now.” She reached up and caressed his damp hair.
When she knew he was asleep, she kissed his cheek, his mouth, so tenderly he wouldn’t feel it. I love you, she mouthed, and slipped from the room.
CHAPTER NINE
An Uncommon Love: Princess Giulia’s Best Friend Rescues Her Grand Duke From a Burning Building
National Hero: the Grand Duke Proposes Knighthood for Toby Winder
Lord Orakis Flees Hellenia in Disgrace. His People Turn Him In!
Extraordinary Meeting, House of Hereditary Lords
A week later
“FOR your services to crown and country, in the name of King Angelis and in his sickness, we knight you Sir Toby Winder.” Charlie, who’d come back with Jazmine from their extended honeymoon for one day to give Toby this honour, placed the golden sword either side of Toby’s shoulders with a grin. “Welcome to the nobility, Grizz,” he said as, with a proud, happy smile, Jazmine placed the knight’s cloak over his shoulders.
Kneeling at their feet, he winked at his old friend. “You never could handle going anywhere without me, could you?”
Charlie laughed and slapped him on the back. “It’s your fault, mate. If you didn’t want to become a noble, you shouldn’t have saved a Grand Duke’s life and taken Orakis down all in a day.”
After Charlie helped him to his feet, since he still didn’t have use of his hands, Toby turned and smiled at the applauding lords around him, nodding. “Talk about surreal,” he muttered. He now owned lands in Charlie’s region of Malascos as well as being a knight of the realm.
But it still wasn’t enough to claim the hand of a princess.
With a major struggle, he smiled over at said princess. Giulia was wiping away tears as she smiled with obvious pride…and sorrow.
“A knighthood is all you can have,” Charlie had said to them this morning when they’d arrived, saying it with obvious awkwardness. “Every other title in Hellenia is hereditary, mate, has been for hundreds of years. If I could make it higher…”
In other words, he’d never rise high enough to be worthy of Giulia.
He had a title, but the same wall existed. He was part of the Costa—Marandis—good fortune and love, but ten steps behind, as he’d been for fourteen years.
The reality was inescapable: if he stayed in Hellenia he’d be rich, famous and titled, but he’d still be Lancelot to her Guinevere. Looking at her now, he knew she knew it, too, and he watched her gentle heart breaking in front of him.
The next night
“There’s something you need to know. Sit down, boy.”
Facing the King in yet another one-sided interview, Toby knew what he had to say. The King didn’t care what the media thought of his unwanted house guest; Toby had no interest in bantering words, or reiterating his protest that he’d stay as long as Giulia and Charlie needed him.
His hands were healing. Charlie and Jazmine were due back from their honeymoon in another five days. The coronation ceremony was scheduled for the second Saturday after that.
Charlie would back him up if he decided to stay. There was so much to do, and his schemes were working well. But…
You’re it, you’re the one.
Since the day he’d been knighted and she’d seen the look in his eyes, Giulia had withdrawn from him. She’d come to his room this morning to clean and dress his wounds, speaking to him as she had in the past: as her dear and trusted friend. She left as soon as his bandages had been changed, and she’d arranged for the King’s valet to shave him, even though she’d always done so when he’d burned himself in the past.
There were no burning kisses, no uncontrollable passion. Touching had become unbearable for them both.
Crowns, palaces and knighthoods, limos and jets; duty, conscience and helping her brother; death threats and treason; he had nothing to give her but his love, and even that put a burden on her…
“You have to go home now. I’ve organised a jet for you, and—”
Toby frowned. The King’s voice wasn’t hard or abrupt, but strangely touched with sympathy. “Your Majesty, I’ve told you—”
“No, Toby,” the King said quietly, using his name for the first time since they’d met. “This isn’t about your friendship with Giulia. This time you must go home.”
Toby went cold all over. “What is it, sire? What’s happened?”
The next night
Sydney, Australia
As the jet landed at the part of Kingsford-Smith airport reserved for VIPs, Lia sat tensely, unmoving except for her toes tapping on the Berber carpet. Her gaze wasn’t on the gorgeously lit nightline all around the harbour; it remained on the note Toby had written.
I have to go home, Giulia. My father died. I’ll try to return for Charlie and Jazmine’s coronation, but if things go wrong and I can’t, I wish you all a wonderful life. You know where I am if you ever need me. Give my love to Charlie.
Toby
Tears clogged her throat. Toby’s beautiful words always deserted him when he was in pain…
The King’s kindness at a time when she was in deep shock had been a wonderful relief. He’d taken care of everything, not just for her, but for Toby as well.
“Toby’s father passed away suddenly. The second royal-jet is waiting for you, my dear. Everything has been packed, a suite booked for each of you at the best hotel in Sydney, and your security is ready and waiting for you in Australia. Charlie and Jazmine will arrive the day after you.”
As Sir Toby Winder, member of the Hellenican nobility, Toby had been sent home in one of the diplomatic jets and was staying in a five-star harbourside suite with a full contingent of security as befitted his position as best friend to a king-in-waiting. Yet he’d been sent home alone when his father had died.
She’d been at a party, where she’d met many of the young nobles the King and Lords judged worthy of her, and she’d been jaw-droppingly bored. She’d only gone to please everyone, to show she was willing to make further adjustments in her life. To leave Toby behind for the sake of royal duty.
Because she hadn’t come home until after midnight, she’d missed the chance to support Toby as he’d done for her so many years; had left him alone and grieving.
The fifteen-minute drive had taken for ever, but finally she was there, and the usual rigmarole started, the bowing and gracious words. Toby, where was he?
At last, at last, she was in the lift, and it pinged on the top floor where there were only three massive suites. Security staff were everywhere, the head someone-or-other was ushering her to her suite.
“Pleas
e, which is Sir Toby’s suite?” she asked, cutting off the man’s polite talk with a gentle smile.
He knocked on the door for her, but she called out, “Toby?”
Seconds later he opened the door. He looked white and haggard; his eyes fixed on her like a starving man faced with a banquet. “Giulia?” His voice was hoarse.
“If there are security cameras inside the suite, I want them turned off,” she said to the man behind her.
“You can do that yourself, Your Highness, though I would be happy to.”
“It’s fine. I can do it, really. Thank you again. We’ll call if we need anything.”
“Giulia?” Toby blinked, shaking his head as if she was a phantom. His hands touched her face, probing, wondering, as if he couldn’t believe it was her. It made her want to cry.
Without a word she took him in her arms, walked him backward into the suite and closed the door behind them. When she’d turned off the cameras, she held his face in her hands. “Have you eaten? Do you want food or coffee?”
“You’re here. You’re here,” he said, still as if he couldn’t take it in, as if she was a miracle in his eyes.
“Of course I am,” she said gently, moved. “How could you not know I’d come? I’d do anything for you, Toby, don’t you know that yet?”
“Giulia,” was all he said. His hands kept touching her face, with such unspoken reverence the knowledge came to her…a truth she should have known all along.
But now wasn’t the time. “How are you feeling? How’s your family?”
He shook his head, blinking as if to orientate himself. “I think they’re okay. I called them. Even Mum’s going to the funeral, Jonathan said. They asked me over to discuss the funeral plans, but I haven’t been allowed out of here.”
His Princess in the Making Page 13
