His Princess in the Making

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His Princess in the Making Page 15

by Melissa James


  He held out his arms, knowing she was trying to hide her upset. She snuggled in, belonging there so naturally he wondered how he’d cope with the emptiness when she was gone. “He’s distraught, Giulia. He’d hoped you and Max…”

  Her voice was flat, hard. “These Marandis men seem to think they can order women to love where it’s convenient for the nation.”

  “We knew he couldn’t do anything,” he said softly. “It’s the way we were all raised. He has to put Hellenia first, just as you do. It’s not his fault.”

  “I know,” she said, and sighed. “But I can’t do it, Toby, not even for the good of the nation. I thought making love to you would make it easier, but…” She shuddered against him.

  Rage flooded him at the thought of any other man touching her, but he had to control it for her sake. “Don’t think about it.” Heaven knew he couldn’t bear to. “He’s agreed to look the other way with us until after the funeral.”

  “Oh.” Giulia looked up at him, her eyes glowing dark with such joy it blocked his throat. “We have two more days?”

  He nodded, but didn’t add that Charlie had told him the King expected her to “get him out of her system” in that time. Why destroy the brief time they had?

  She searched his eyes, sensed his disquiet. “Don’t worry about what I said. According to the law as it stands, only the reigning king can force me to marry, and Charlie won’t go that far.”

  Grimly, Toby wondered if that was true. This morning he’d seen a new Charlie, a man at war with himself, man against king. He’d never doubt how much Charlie loved his sister, but every decision must feel like Russian roulette to him. Which did he put first: family or the welfare of eight-million people? In royalty or government, collateral damage wasn’t an excuse, it was a reason, a means to peace.

  Was it overprotecting her to say nothing? If so, that was who he was: loving her, shielding her from this kind of pain was just what he did.

  He just hoped Charlie didn’t let her down when he was gone.

  “Charlie can wait a bit longer,” he said huskily, and bent to kiss her.

  Two days later

  “Thank God that’s over.” Charlie sighed and leaned back in the leather seating of the consulate limo.

  The funeral had been a media circus, the wake just as bad. The press had tried to push past stony-faced ASIO, yelling questions at them all, but particularly at Lia and Toby about their relationship. Young girls had screamed Charlie’s name as if he was a rock star. Politicians had angled for invitations; they’d all met the Prime Minister and state premier this morning, and had received regrets that they couldn’t attend—as if it was the social event of the season instead of the funeral of an unemployed boiler-maker. Everyone inside had been searched for cameras, even phones had been confiscated.

  It wouldn’t stop some of them selling stories later:

  What the Crown Prince Said To Me.

  What The Princess Wore. How She Held Toby’s Hand All Day.

  How The Knighthood Has Changed Toby.

  Lia said nothing in reply to Charlie’s awkward comment. Toby said nothing either. She could feel the conflict inside him, the regret and grief—

  “You okay, Grizz?” Charlie asked gruffly.

  Something inside Lia became gentle, seeing her brother trying so hard to keep the friendship he’d always had. In the life they’d adopted, true friends were a luxury item, but friends who’d known them from childhood they trusted—there was only one.

  Toby shrugged and looked out the window as they headed for the hotel, which was also surrounded by ASIO agents. “When do you all leave?”

  Charlie looked stricken. “You’re not coming? Not even to the coronation?”

  When Toby didn’t answer, Lia spoke. “We discussed it last night.” In bed, she thought but didn’t say. “It’s best if he stays here for good.”

  She couldn’t ask him to sacrifice his life for her any more. She loved him too much to make a kept man of him.

  “It won’t be the same without you, Grizz. You’ve been to every major event in my life.” Charlie’s voice was choked with emotion. “You’re my brother.”

  Toby turned and looked at him for a long moment, but said nothing. There was no accusation in his expression, no anger, just…nothing.

  “None of us can have everything we want, Charlie.” Lia heard her voice shaking; she couldn’t go on.

  They pulled up at the kind of hotel they couldn’t have dreamed of affording only six months before. Toby opened the door before the porter could. “I wish you all the best, Charlie, Jazmine. I’ll send a gift. I’m going to pack.” He looked at them all for a moment, eyes resting on Lia: Come to me. “Please thank the King for the funeral arrangements and help. It’s time I returned to my own life.”

  He was inside the hotel moments later.

  Charlie was pale, his eyes blank. “I—I never thought he could walk out on us like that, just leave us behind when we need him.”

  “He’s not,” Lia choked. “We walked out on him, and never looked back until we needed him. We’ve expected him to bend for us, cross the world for us, give up his life and career for us when we needed him, to be whatever we want when we want it. He came to Hellenia on request and left on cue. He put up with danger and humiliation, and rid Hellenia of its greatest threat. He’s even been told by his brother that he’s not good enough for the woman he loves, the woman whose life he saved, so don’t talk about him walking out on us!”

  Charlie whitened, swore and scrambled from the limo. “I have to make this right.” He entered the hotel, wearing the personality of his future like a cloak from the moment he left the car. He smiled and waved to the press, spoke briefly to the security staff, and the hotel people eager to speak to a future king—but he was still at the lift within three minutes.

  “They’ll be fine,” Jazmine murmured as the two women followed his lead, smiling and waving as they walked past the flashing cameras, heading for the special elevator reserved for the royal suites.

  “I know.” Lia knew it would be smoothed over between the two men. But things couldn’t be as they had been in the past, not for any of them.

  Even if he could find a way to become high enough for her, Toby couldn’t stand the life she’d chosen. She couldn’t refuse the privilege and duty that was her birthright, couldn’t let any more of her people die because of her family’s choosing love over duty. But the love of her lifetime was over after three days, she’d lost her lover and her best friend, and she had to learn to live without him.

  When the elevator reached the suites, Lia said quietly, “I think it’s also time I returned to my life. Excuse me, Jazmine.”

  “We’ll come with you,” Jazmine said, laying a hand on her arm.

  Unable to stand being touched, Lia moved away. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather go alone. I’ll see you at—at the palace.” She couldn’t call Hellenia “home.” Home was wherever Toby was.

  Stop it. This could only ever have ended one way from the day I accepted the role of princess.

  She walked into Toby’s suite. Charlie’s hand was on Toby’s shoulder. He was pleading with his friend to understand, to come to his coronation. Toby was shaking his head, saying as little as possible.

  She closed the door, filled with sadness. The day of “the Three Musketeers” was done. “Charlie, can you please leave us alone?”

  “Lia, you’ve had three days with him without my interference,” Charlie said quietly, his hand falling from Toby.

  “And it’s all we’ll ever have,” she replied, just as quiet. “You get a lifetime with the woman you love, so please don’t lecture me. Just leave.”

  White faced, her brother left without another word.

  When he was gone, Toby kept packing a bag. She whispered, “Toby, look at me. Please.”

  He looked worse than she’d ever seen him, grey and haggard with loss and grief. “So this is it?”

  Unable to speak, she nodded.
/>   “Ask me to go with you.” His eyes burned dry and hard. “Just ask me, Giulia.”

  Tears spilled from her lashes. “I can’t.” I love you too much. She walked into his arms, holding him close. There couldn’t be a worse possible day for this farewell, but it was all they had. “I’ll miss you.”

  “Like the other half of me is missing,” he agreed, mirroring her own words and hold from the first day he’d arrived in Hellenia.

  The first day he’d kissed her.

  “Promise me you’ll eat well, look after yourself, and that you’ll call me any time you need me.”

  Her heart cracked open. “I will, I promise. I have to go,” she whispered, and broke away from him, bolting for the door.

  Amid a multitude of flashing cameras, she returned to the limousine ten minutes later, head high, eyes bright and dry. She smiled and waved for the cameras. Her bodyguards walked each side of her; the jet was ordered and waiting. At the airport, her security detail surrounded her. Her personal assistant sat inside, awaiting orders. In a life of glittering beauty and fortune most would envy, Giulia Maria Helena Costa Marandis, Princess of Hellenia, felt only lost. Empty.

  “She did the only thing she could, mate,” Charlie said awkwardly. “I know—”

  “No, you don’t.” Toby kept packing his bags. “You don’t know her. I didn’t know her until recently. She’ll do what you want, you can rely on her sense of duty. You won’t have to worry about the anorexia either. She’s too strong a woman to ever go back there. But if you make her marry and produce royal heirs before she’s ready, you’ll never have your sister again. You’ll only have the princess.”

  Unable to deny it, Charlie paled. They’d all seen her complete withdrawal from the King. She’d been gracious and cold, and she’d been polite and remote with Charlie and Jazmine for the past few days. “What the hell do I do, Grizz? You tell me. I’ve bent over backwards to try to make it happen for you both!”

  “He has, Toby,” Jazmine said, her voice clogged. “We love you both. We want you to be happy. But how do we live with the consequences?”

  “You don’t. The people of Hellenia don’t. Giulia and I have to,” he stated flatly, knowing it wasn’t fair, but he was way past caring. “We know you can’t fix it, but we can’t give you absolution or act as if it doesn’t matter. There’s a price for all of us.” He flicked a glance at his oldest friend, seeing the unalterable pain there, but couldn’t make himself feel it. “You avoid war. Take comfort in that.”

  “There’ll always be a place for you in Hellenia, Grizz. A place with us. You’re family.” Charlie’s voice was choked too. “Please, Grizz. Don’t walk out on us.”

  “I wish I could do it,” he said flatly. “I wish I was noble enough to give you all unconditional love. But I can’t watch you marry her off to another man. I’d kill him. I’d kill anyone who touched her. The only way to avoid it is to be half a world away.” He closed his bag and zipped it. “I have to go.”

  “Don’t go, Grizz. Please, mate. Don’t end our friendship like this.”

  “There’s no way to avoid it.” He picked up the phone and got reception. “This is Toby Winder in the Premier Suite. Has the cab arrived?”

  When he hung up the phone, Charlie put a hand on his shoulder. “At least take the damn limo, Grizz. We don’t need it until tomorrow.”

  Toby gently pulled away. “The limos and jets were only ever on borrowed time for me. Title or not, it’s time I was myself again.” After a moment, he asked, “What do you want to do about the house? It’s in all our names.”

  “Keep it.” Charlie stalked over to the window. Even from the distance, Toby could see his throat working. “Papou would want you to have it.”

  He nodded. “Thank you for all the years of friendship, Rip.” He smiled at Jazmine, who was openly crying. “I wish you both all the best in life, lots of kids and a peaceful rule. I hope the coronation goes well.”

  He picked up his bags and walked out of the room.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Six weeks later

  “YOU DID SO WELL IN The Hague, my dear.” The King smiled at her over the dining table. “Your speech to the European Court on the rights of women here has made the Lords aware of how the world will view us. They’re ready to make further changes.”

  Lia said quietly, “I’m glad.”

  “You look so tired, Lia.” He’d taken to calling her Lia since he’d seen her flinch at the formal name—Toby’s name for her. “Perhaps you should take time off.”

  “Thank you, but no.” She ate another mouthful of vegetables, wishing she could taste them. “I have a full schedule for the next three months, and I can’t afford to reschedule anyone.”

  “Lia, Grandfather’s right, you look exhausted and pale. You look totally stressed out.” Charlie frowned, searching her face. “When’s the last time you were out in the fresh air? I haven’t seen you walk or run in a long time.”

  She felt the deadness touch her soul. “Charlie.” The word wasn’t a plea, it was a command to stop.

  He ignored her. “You don’t read or dance, either. And you don’t cook. You love to dance and cook, Lia. Why don’t you—?”

  The lump filled her throat, a pain she couldn’t swallow. Walking, running, reading or dancing—it was all Toby. Everything was Toby…

  Desperate to avoid the inquisition, she shoved the chair back. “Excuse me.” She was gone before anyone could speak, but she felt four worried sets of eyes follow her out of the room.

  And she knew four hearts worried about her as she paced her room that night, walking until her mind finally shut down and she fell to the bed in a dreamless slumber. Three hours until the alarm went off and she started the rounds of life again.

  The Coronation of King Kyriacos and Queen Jazmine of

  Hellenia

  The Archbishop of Orakidis stepped back with a smile, throwing out his arm. “I present to you, King Kyriacos and Queen Jazmine of the Kingdom of Hellenia.”

  Looking serious and regal, Charlie and Jazmine stepped forward, resplendent in their scarlet-and-purple robes. The traditional crown of Hellenia rested on Charlie’s head; the newly made matching crown that had replaced the traditional queen’s tiara looked large and too heavy for Jazmine’s small frame.

  They must be blinded from all the flashes popping…

  Lia watched from the marble balcony in the tiers above the dais beside the King—former king—who could no longer stand. As the third in line to the throne, she was expected to lead the way. She rose to her feet and bowed her head in traditional submission, then she smiled and began the applause.

  Theo Angelis followed, smiling up at her in loving encouragement.

  He’d been that way since she’d returned from Sydney. He’d handed all reins of power to Charlie and Jazmine, and refrained from asking the hard questions. It was no longer his place, he’d told her. He hadn’t even complained when Charlie had said the coronation had to be put back four weeks out of respect for Toby’s father’s death.

  Theo Angelis had also said nothing when Max had taken matters from everyone’s hands the day after she’d walked out of the dining hall, making a public announcement that there wouldn’t be a second royal wedding that included him.

  Lia didn’t understand Theo Angelis’s silence; she was just grateful she didn’t have the daily inquisition to face any more. Just getting through each day was challenge enough.

  Charlie and Jazmine walked around the dais, then down the aisle of the cathedral, smiling and greeting every special guest by name.

  Then, in the tenth row, the last row reserved for members of the nobility, a big bear of a man in a knight’s cape with dark-and-golden, half-curling hair got to his feet to join the applause…

  She swayed where she stood. The warmth and probably the colour drained from her face. Her hands fell to the rail and gripped hard. And she stared in shock and pain hunger and love.

  He turned to look up at the balcony and smil
ed—but for the first time she felt no rush of joy, no gladness. Why, why, had Charlie made him come?

  How was she going to face a state dinner with a thousand important guests, knowing he was there?

  Toby saw her face, so stark and pale, so lovely, the dark hunger and pain too deep even to think of hiding it for the observers and cameras as she stared at him. He knew Charlie was right: he’d had to come today. She needed him…

  So why hadn’t she called him? He’d sent her text messages and emails, aiming for the old friendliness, but last week she’d sent her first message back: please stop. I can’t do this.

  By the time they were all seated at the state dinner that night and she hadn’t come anywhere near him, not even to greet him, he realised he’d made it worse for her by being here. She wasn’t the anorexic girl he could cajole into laughter and eating; she wasn’t the homebody who lit up with the prospect of a bushwalk or cooking something. She was a woman strong enough to stand alone—but she was in love, in pain, and he couldn’t save her from that. He wasn’t her hero; he was the man who loved her. The man who’d left her alone in an alien world.

  He’d left her as alone as she’d been when he’d gone on those dates, leaving her to imagine the worst. He’d walked out of her life because he couldn’t be her supplicant, her hidden lover, couldn’t stand to be in second place with her.

  She needs your friendship to live.

  She’ll always have it.

  Would he never stop letting her down because of his stupid fears and foolish pride, never feeling good enough?

  He came to her room at two in the morning, when she’d finally finished settling all the visiting dignitaries and had made them feel suitably important. Though the room was dark, she wasn’t in bed. She was in jeans and a pullover, barefoot and pacing the room. “I knew you’d come,” was all she said. She didn’t look at him.

 

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