A quick intake of breath from Lucas hitches my heart, and for a moment I’m worried. Then I remember this is Lucas. The boy who loved his fish, who defended me after I pushed him away ten times, and whose touch makes me believe everything might really be okay now that we’re facing it together. I scoot backward, peeling back the bright comforter in invitation.
Lucas’s smile tightens a little, and a glinting brightness full of the same tumbling emotions doing acrobatics inside me shines in his eyes. He closes them, then takes a deep breath and slides out of his shoes. When he opens his eyes, the teasing, comfortable Lucas is back. He slides in, snuggling me against his side. As always, it takes a few minutes before our core temperatures balance out. Once they do, the bed is cozy and warm.
I think about Leah, and a sudden memory clenches my stomach. “Lucas, you can’t mess with Leah anymore. That night at the refreshing, Elij said the Prime told them to leave Leah wrong in case they could figure out who did that to her veil.”
“I’m not going to hurt her anymore,” Lucas whispers.
“Even if we can unveil the humans, what good is it? If they can’t be normal afterward, it’s useless.”
Lucas’s disagreement is evident in his silence, and when he speaks his voice holds a hesitant tremor. “What if we could do more than one at once? Like the whole Cell, or the whole town? We might be able to get them to help us.”
“No.” My cheek rubs against the soft, threadbare material of his shirt. “First of all, I don’t think we can. Mr. Morgan was sitting in the same room when my thoughts undid Mrs. Morgan and it didn’t affect him at all. Plus, it wouldn’t do any good. Everyone would go crazy all at once and run around not knowing what the heck is going on, then the Wardens would come and take them all away. We’d be responsible for Breaking a whole town. We’ve already got at least three lives on our heads this autumn, Lucas. That’s more than enough for me.”
“So you aren’t even going to try and figure out how we could help? Even after what Ko said about it being the end of humanity?”
“I’m not giving up, Lucas. If it comes down to me and you against the Others, I’ll do whatever it takes. Playing with the humans or their minds, though…if we can’t really fix them, bring them back to an even keel, then we should leave them the way they are.”
“You think they’re better off walking around like they’re happy, like everything’s fine?”
My irritation spikes. He’s always so sure he’s right. “Yes. Unless we can keep them sane, I won’t do it. What do you want to do, run experiments on them? Excuse me for being a wet blanket, but that makes you no better than the Others.”
His only response is to trail his fingers up and down my arm. His touch relaxes my every muscle, making me sleepy.
“I know we’re probably not human, Lucas, but I have to believe we’re different from the Others, too. Ko said we can save the humans. I don’t want to hurt them.”
I think of the Hammonds, Val, Monica, the girls here in Danbury—even Leah. Mr. Morgan. A fierce protectiveness drops over me.
Lucas startles me with a soft response. “Okay, Althea. We’ll keep working on the hot and cold, think about talking to Deshi, and keep our eyes open. Where are you meeting the Archivist Saturday?”
“In the park, where the Wardens met us by the boundary.”
“I’ll meet you there. Mr. Crawford wants to show me some work thing after breakfast.”
The scent of him—crisp, fresh, and wintery—infuses the room. He kisses the top of my head and tucks an arm around me as he settles deeper into the blankets. “Close your eyes. I’ll stay for a while longer.”
Even though confusion and worry dig their fingers into my edges, my center relaxes at the side of this boy who knows all of my secrets but still chooses to be at my side.
CHAPTER 21.
Saturday dawns cold and wet, the gray skies spitting rain that splatters the sidewalk with polka dots. I have breakfast with Mr. Morgan and he shows me the small box of family items the Archivist requested. Inside are a few pieces of paper that look like legal documents, some photographs of Mrs. Morgan and her parents, and identification. Nothing that looks important enough for the Others to care about.
Bracing myself for the onslaught of miserable weather, I pull on rubber boots and tug the brown-and-orange striped umbrella from the back of the closet. The wind drives bullets of water underneath my protective gear on the walk to the park.
Lucas runs up, meeting me as I pass the playground equipment. His face is flushed a healthy pink. The colder the weather, the faster autumn marches toward winter, the more robust Lucas appears. More handsome, too, if that’s possible.
He kisses my cheek and crushes me in a hug, then grabs the soggy box from my arms. “I’m sorry we disagreed.”
I nod, pleasure pushing back the discomfort caused by the miserable day. “Let’s go. Mr. Morgan said the Archivist will be out by the boundary, where the Wardens met us.”
We plod through the trees, bare and spindly without their leaves, which lie in a squishy carpet under our feet. Two figures wait outside the fence, but I look past them into the forest as an ache opens up in my core. Desire to be out there again, free from the complications born of my awkward existence in this world, burns from my toes to the top of my head.
My attention snaps back to the moment when Lucas takes my hand and squeezes lightly.
Seeing the Warden surprises me; he’s one of the ten who have been constant observers of life in Danbury these past weeks. The second figure is shorter by a wide margin, and female. She stares at us, a rather pleased—albeit trembling—smile stretching her generous lips. Honey blond hair tops her tiny frame and flatters her delicate features.
She speaks at the exact same moment I realize I’ve been staring at her without even a flicker of pain. “Good morning, children.”
I blink, sure her eyes changed from black to midnight blue and back again in the space of those three words.
“You are Althea Morgan, correct?” I nod. The Warden steps forward, making me wince as he enters my field of vision. He stares hard at Lucas. “I was not advised you were being accompanied.”
“Oh, um…”
“I’m Lucas Crawford. We’re courting.”
Warmth spreads through my chest despite the uncomfortable moment. I remind myself he only said it for the Others’ sake. The Warden pulls out a handheld communicator and punches some buttons. I glance at the strange, non-Other Other, starting at the expression in her eyes. It seems oddly familiar, as though I’ve seen it somewhere before.
“I’ve no indication that the two of you have taken part in a Parental Sanction. This is a requirement of voluntary Partnering.”
Lucas steps closer to me, his scent calming my pounding heart. I’m glad we’re downwind from the Others. The rain brings out the smells. “It’s scheduled for this week.”
It’s not, but the Warden doesn’t know that.
The Warden says nothing further, backing up and giving control to the Archivist. Something is so familiar about that woman.
“I’ll just get this boundary open and take that box from you. If you’ll walk this way with me, Althea, I’ll ask you the necessary questions.” She cocks her head to the right and begins to walk along the fence.
I hesitate, torn between gnawing curiosity about the woman and reluctance to leave Lucas. She glances back and smiles again with that look in her eyes. She seems nice. Genuine, even. The anti-Other.
I follow her along the boundary about fifty steps. Not far enough to be out of earshot or view. She digs under the leaves on her side of the fence and uncovers a small black box buried in the ground. A red button sits in the center of the top, like on the communicators. She pushes it, and back where Lucas and the Warden stand the fence opens up, exactly like where we went through in the rider the night Mrs. Morgan Broke.
The woman catches my eye and hers shift color again, filling with water. She blinks it away in a flash, smiling. “You know,
I’m rather enjoying my stay nearby. The collection center is only about an hour-long walk, straight into the afternoon sun.”
Before I can respond, she spins around and tromps back toward the men. I follow, glancing into the trees to catch a glimpse of the birds and squirrels. She never asks me any questions, but it’s obvious she knows something.
Relief colors Lucas’s face when I stand next to him again. The woman holds out her hands in a silent request and he hands over the cardboard container. She passes it to the Warden without checking the contents. “Thank you for your cooperation. You’ve saved me some time, since my placement here expires in three days.”
Without another word she and the Warden move back outside the boundary. They leave, stepping on the red button to close the fence on their way by. Lucas and I don’t move as the edges of the fence slide silently toward each other, fastening into place with the faintest of clicks. The mystery surrounding the woman bothers me.
“Well, that wasn’t as exciting as I thought it might be,” Lucas observes.
“Hmm.”
“Althea.” Lucas shakes my arm, grasping my attention.
“What?”
“We’d better talk to Mr. Morgan about a Sanction since we told the Warden about it.”
“Okay, sure. We can go now.”
Since he broke my concentration, the freezing, soaking day reclaims my attention and I’m more than ready to get inside.
Halfway back to the Morgans’, Lucas pulls me to a stop and makes me face him. “Okay, Althea. What’s on your mind?”
“Did anything seem weird to you about the Archivist?”
“You mean, besides the fact she’s a female Other? Like what?”
Frustration surges at my inability to pinpoint it. “Well, it didn’t hurt to look at her. Her eyes changed color. And she reminded me of someone.”
“Yeah, she reminds me of Others,” he mutters.
It’ll come to me. It’s there, hiding in the recesses of my stubborn mind.
***
Mr. Morgan comes into the foyer when we enter and call out to him.
“Ah, Lucas, right? I was wondering if I might see you again.” He turns to me with a stern look. “You two know the rules. We should have scheduled a Sanction before now.”
His statement surprises me; I wasn’t aware he’d heard the courtship rumors. Then again, Lucas did take me to the Autumn Mixer.
“I…well, I…” Come on, words. Form a thought.
Lucas breaks in, his voice higher than normal. “That’s what we wanted to talk to you about, sir. We were hoping Tuesday evening might work for you.”
Mr. Morgan chuckles. “No need to be nervous. I’ll send your parents a message and check with them, but Tuesday’s fine with me.”
“Thank you, sir. I’ll see you then.”
Lucas squeezes my hand and escapes. Mr. Morgan chuckles again, then we return to our Saturday routine. We watch the movie on television for family time. It makes my skin crawl to know that up and down this street, on every street in town, in every town on Earth, everyone is doing the exact same thing. Two houses away, Lucas and the Crawfords are laughing at the same moments we are. Like mindless goons.
Afterward I burrow under the heavy covers in my bed, hoping to warm up, and thumb through Lucas’s booklet of words again. I toss it aside after a while and stare up at the ceiling, willing whatever it is about the Archivist to the forefront. She’s not from my memory dreams, though the caring look in her eyes mirrors the feelings they give me. Almost like she loves me.
That’s it.
She reminds me of Ko when he popped out of my necklace.
The minute I think it, I know it’s the truth. Her short stature, her slightly pointed ears, the nuances that make her feel Other, but not totally, just as Ko described himself. In person it’s easier to see what he means. It’s in their eyes more than anything. The way they seem to care for me, want to help me, maybe even love me.
Ko said there are those who know about my past. Could he mean her?
My room constricts, too small and too far from Lucas. I itch from the inside out with the need to speak with him. We didn’t plan to use the cup device tonight so it’ll have to wait until our free hour tomorrow morning.
Three days. She said she’ll only be at the collection center three more days.
***
Lucas is waiting for me, leaning against the fence and smiling, when I fly down the front steps the next morning. For a second, I wish things were simple. That we were courting. That I could run out, give him a hug, and we would go meet our friends for an hour.
Instead I stop a couple of feet away. “We need to talk.”
“Let’s go for a walk.”
It’s the best way to talk out in the open, where Deshi or the Wardens can’t sneak up on us. We head in the direction of the park. “I figured out what bothers me about that woman.”
Lucas takes my gloved hand. “I knew you would.”
“She’s like Ko.”
When the words hit his ears he stumbles a bit but keeps walking.
Lucas’s eyes are as wide as the full moon, and about as bright with wonder. “You know, now that you say that, she does resemble him. I caught her eye as I handed off your box and her eyes were nice.”
“I think she was trying to tell me something yesterday. When we walked together to open the gate she looked at me and said something about the collection center being an hour’s walk into the afternoon sun.”
“So?”
“Then she made it a point to tell us how long she’ll be there…” I trail off, and wait for him to get it.
“She’s told us how to find her.”
“I think so, too.”
“In that message, Ko said if we’re brave we’ll be able to find people who have answers about us. We have to go to that collection center while she’s still here.” Lucas’s voice trembles with excitement.
Though I’m proud of my grudging respect for the animals living in the Wilds, traipsing through it, just the two of us, still frightens me. I’d thought there would be time to enter that space gradually, a few minutes at a time.
“I know you’re worried about the animals, Althea. But this could be our one chance to find out who we are. The Others lied about Fils. They lied about what happened to Mrs. Morgan. Maybe they’re lying about the animals, too.”
“They are.” My voice is so quiet I have to repeat myself. “They are. And I know how we can get across the boundary. I climbed it a few weeks ago, the morning after I Broke Mrs. Morgan.”
A sense of loss dribbles into my heart at giving up my stolen moments, but Lucas needs to know. He does stumble this time and comes to a stop. His eyes are huge and a ridiculous, pride-filled grin lights up his handsome face. “I can’t believe it. Why do you act like such a fraidycat sometimes, you little rebel?”
My face flushes, but a matching grin answers his. “I’m not a rebel, it was a bad morning and I did it without thinking. I needed to be somewhere the Others weren’t.”
“So, they are lying, then, about the animals? Nothing bad happened to you?”
“No, not then. I only saw birds and squirrels. I’m not sure they’re lying, not totally. I mean, the animals mostly go about their business, but they have to eat, right?”
He shrugs it off. “Sure. Still, this is great news! So we’re going, then?”
Though I’m not as gung ho as Lucas, not much of a life awaits me here, inside the boundary. Once the Wardens get me alone in a room it will end anyway. I have no illusions about faking my way through the interview the way I did the refreshing. Those Others weren’t paying attention, and didn’t have any reason to double-check anything I said or did.
The thought of my looming interview session breaks my forehead out in a sweat. I thought the ordeal with Mrs. Morgan and daring to walk alone in the forest would lessen my fear, but instead it’s had the opposite effect. The sun disappears behind a cloud and a shiver zips over me, bumps standing
up along my covered arms.
With a last glance at Lucas, I make up my mind. “Let’s start searching for the spot I crossed right now.”
Excitement joins my trepidation, widens the smile on my face. I can’t wait to be back in that untouched world, the one place that makes me feel normal, at peace.
Some luck finds us, and Deshi doesn’t materialize. I know the general area where I breached the boundary, but it might have been fixed, so Lucas designs a way to test the whole thing. We both gather handfuls of sticks and stroll close to the edge, tossing pieces in front of us, off to the side, and when the cameras are far away, into the fence to see if they burn. So far they all have, with a sizzle of electricity and a bright light reducing the wood to a smoldering pile of ash. Like the bird. He doesn’t stop tossing sticks or look over at me as we talk.
We’ve been avoiding any topic that could sound suspicious if—when—we run into Deshi. It’s infuriating, but the challenge of coming up with topics that sound inane but aren’t is invigorating, too.
“Tell me about Intermediate Cell.” Those are the three years I spent in Portland, except for the missing summers, of course. I want to know if he stayed still as well.
His cheeks color, though whether or not the question lowers his body temperature I can’t say. It’s too cold outside now to tell. He clears his throat and looks at me. “I spent them here. All of them.”
It stuns me a little, to know he spent those three years in Danbury. Maybe that’s why the kids listen to him more than me. They know him. At least, they used to.
“You?”
“In Portland. Did you make friends here?”
“Yes. A few.”
The uncomfortable air around him thickens, and his rosy cheeks pluck at my curiosity. “Who?” I ask.
“Leah was my best friend.” The words slide out in a whisper and regret collects in the creases around his mouth. Pieces of my heart war with one another, half of them broken for his loss of Leah, in more ways than one. The rest relieved she’s no longer close to Lucas. If he had never traveled again, perhaps the two of them would be courting. I hate that idea.
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